How do you tell your local jeweler that you bought a diamond online?

[Patty]

I''m really torn about what to do here. The jeweler who made my wedding ring (using our stones) in 1998 is the father of our younger daughter''s good friend. We''ve known him forever and he''s a very nice man. He is the one we first talked to a year ago about upgrading the center diamond on my wedding set but it turns out that the stones he offered me were not ideal cuts and not priced nearly as well as the online diamonds. I understand this...he has a lot of overhead and he buys from a middleman. In fact, he said that he only makes about 7% on the diamonds he sells. He really needs to sell a lot of the other unique rings and jewelry that he has in his shop in order to make a living.

So we recently bought a new stone from Barry, as you all know. But my husband really wanted me to have it put into a new ring for our 25th anniversary and Barry is now putting the stone into a 3 stone ring with sapphire side stones.

This leaves us with my wedding set...a center stone that''s .93, J color, I1 clarity. The new diamond puts this stone to shame. My husband and I have talked about what to do in the future...I have a friend who wants to buy my center diamond and I was thinking that I''d let her buy it and save up for a prettier center diamond for that ring. (She was going to have to pay me for it over time.)

But to complicate things, our older daughter has been dating the same boy for 2 years (She''s 23, he''s 21.) She has been saying that they will get engaged as soon as they can afford a diamond ring but they will not get married until they are both out of school. (At least two more years.) She thinks my .93 diamond is beautiful and doesn''t see why I complain about the color or clarity. She would love to have it and said that she and her boyfriend would like to buy it from us. Also, she''s very sentimental and would love to wear my old diamond even though I know it''s not traditional to pass a diamond from mother to daughter.

So, the other night, my husband said that he wants us to just give the diamond to our daughter and her boyfriend. I was relieved to hear him say this because I wouldn''t feel right charging my own daughter and her b/f for a diamond and this means they can have something much nicer than they could afford. At this point they have NO money. So the plan is that the b/f will save up for a setting. I will probably have a CZ put into my ring for now and evenutally buy a new center stone for that ring.

So, I''d like to go to our local jeweler and have him take out my diamond and replace it with a CZ and then set the stone in a new setting that my daughter and her b/f pick out. But, this man knows I was wanting to upgrade my stone a year ago, and I don''t want to lie to him about why I''m not doing that now. (Because I just bought a new diamond from Barry.)

What do I do? Just ask Barry to remove my stone and replace it with a CZ? But I don''t think Barry will have an inexpensive simple setting like my daughter probably wants, so then she has to figure out where to get a setting and have them set my old diamond and it just seems like she should have that done at our local guy''s shop.

How insulted will our local jeweler be if we ask him to do the work for us but all we are buying from him is a simple setting? Have any of you dealt with your local jewelers after buying other things online? How did you handle it and how did they take it?

 

[fire&ice]

First, Patty you are a sensitive soul.

That said, it's really none of the jeweler's business what or where you bought. If he asks - a simple "I found something I feel in love with elsewhere." There is no need to apologize for making yourself happy. Also, there is no need to *avoid* this jeweler. If you feel comfortable asking him to do the work for your daughter, then by all means, go ahead. You are paying him.

It's a nice gesture to give your daughter your diamond. This diamond lineage to the daughter is happening with *much* more frequency with the divorce rate. We are in a quandry on who to give hubby's family ring to - his neice or his nephew. Fortunately, at this time, neither is in a serious relationship.

Good luck.

 

[DexterSinister]

Business is business.

If he wants your business, he'll do what it takes to keep you as a customer ...

Nobody buys a diamond every time they go to a jeweller, so he must be making some money on repairs / re-sets ... and if he doesn't want your business, I'm sure there are other locals who do.

You seem to be very sensitive to the issues and concerns of others, and that is laudable ... but you must take care of your own interests as well.

 

[Giangi]

I don't know how close is your relationship with your jeweler, however you have different possibilities about your situation... I got a ring and...
a) it was a total surprise that my hubby made me

b) my hubby got it for me while he was on a business trip in Antwerp or New York

c) It's an estate stone

If you feel like it, you could try to tell him the truth, but I think you could hurt him and his feelings.

As for your 0.93, it's a very nice gesture of yours to give it to your daughter. She will treasure it!
One note about the empy setting: why don't you consider putting in it a nice colored stone? A pretty blue sapphire, maybe (BTW, it would match greatly your new 1.35 ring) or a pink sapphire--they are very hot right now. There are many possibilities to consider, especially because I think you would be able to tell very easily which is real and which is fake.

 

[Hest88]

You don't. As F&I said, it's none of his business. If he asks, just say you're still looking at options.

F&I, personally, if your diamond is one you want to keep in the family, I'd give it to your niece. MIL had an ornate heirloom pearl necklace that my DH thought she would give to me but she ended up giving to one of the female cousins. I had no problem with it. I've heard of too many horror stories where even the nicest woman decides that, after everything she's been through, she deserves to keep family pieces during a divorce. So, I would never give heirlooms I want to keep in the family to a male heir if I know it may be given as a gift to a wife or girlfriend. Better to save it for a grandchild if there's no other alternative.

 

[hoorray]

Patty,

Uncomfortable as it may be, it may help your jeweler friend if he knows what you bought and from where. When I took my stone in to have it appraised and set, the jeweler was very curious about what I paid etc. He was very professional about it, but Internet sales are changing his business, and he is trying to figure out how to evolve and survive in the new environment. It turns out that the big thing for him is the sales tax. He says he has the same sources, and can compete on price (making his real margin on other things), but he has to charge tax, and on big ticket items, that's a lot of money.

 

[strmrdr]

Take it into him to have the work done.
If he asks about your new ring your wearing tell him the truth.
If he doesnt ask then dont say anything.

Sales people are used to losing sales and those that would
lose a customer over it are fairly rare.
Course that is in the real world and not the jewlery business
which can be wierd sometimes.
As far as the 7% number goes that is likely after expenses not total markup.
A b&m cant survive on 7% total markup.

 

[pqcollectibles]

I completely understand your situation, Patty. Our long time jeweler is practically a family friend. I want to continue going there for resizing/adjustments, inspections, and small stuff. She has a truly skilled smith that does her work for her. But now that I've bought on-line, I know I'll never spend big bucks there again. I'll most likely buy any diamonds or gemstones on-line.

I like some of the suggestions you gotten so far, but I worry about being rude and hurtful as well.

 

[Patty]

Thank you all for your input. I really like the idea of just saying that I found my new ring somewhere else. f&i, I'm going to practice saying to myself "I found something I fell in love with elsewhere." Giangi, I'm a terrible liar. And I think that our local jeweler knows my hubby wouldn't buy something like this without my input, lol.


Now, Barry saw this thread and called me this morning.

He can replace my diamond with a CZ and he can come up with an inexpensive setting for my daughter. For now he's going to give me an idea of what an Asha imitation diamond would cost in my setting. I'm thinking I may go with a nice quality imitation and then I may not be in such a rush to replace it with the real thing. Plus, once I get my new 3 stone ring, I'm not sure how much I'll wear my old wedding ring. I tend to usually wear just a ring on my left hand. Rings on my right hand usually end up annoying me.

So, I'm feeling much better about all of this. Barry is starting to feel like my neighborhood jeweler! And when I do see our local guy, I will not feel apologetic. Besides, I KNOW our younger daughter will buy from him but let's hope that I don't have to worry about that for a very long time!