How different are diamonds "in real life"?

[mission1]

This is possibly phase 2 (post-purchase) of analysis paralysis! I purchased diamond 1 below and proposed to my girlfriend - it's eye clean, not cloudy, but it's on the shallow side of the target range - I can see a bit of obstruction in certain situations, and it doesn't sing to me as I'd hoped.

I totally appreciate it's for her not for me, but I'm sure I'm not alone on this forum with this questioning line of thought! I have a hold on a possible replacement which has better proportions, but don't know how visible the difference would be in reality:

Diamond 1: 40.6/34, Color G, clarity SI1, 0.9ct.
Diamond 2: 40.6/35, Color I, clarity SI1, 1.09ct.

Side-by-side and day-to-day, would these sort of differences be genuinely very noticeable? (note: she loves the diamond which is the main thing, so it's purely me and the PS effect!).

As it is, I see friends' diamonds and whilst I would never say anything, I can often now tell that they're not particularly well cut. The standard response when someone compares their ring to my fiance's is "hmmm, mine must need a clean". Obviously I don't ask for details of their diamonds, so I don't know whether I'm observing marginal differences, or whether I'm likely to be comparing to much more 'average' cut diamonds?

 

[OoohShiny]

The standard response when someone compares their ring to my fiance's is "hmmm, mine must need a clean".

LOL

I doubt cleaning some of the stuff that is found in general B&M stores is going to make them comparable to a PS-quality stone... lol

I think you can take that as you've done well


The Cloud as a grade setting inclusion, with 'additional clouds not shown', would make me personally hesitant about the second, larger stone - it may have transparency issues, but the picture looks pretty clean.

What is it that is not singing to you? How do you imagine the stone of your dreams to perform compared to the one you have already?

I'm tempted to say that you need to step away from the forum for a while and let your other half love it - it can be a slippery slope into a bottomless pit of analysis on PS so don't let your male(?) tendencies to overthink the details to get in the way of what is a nice stone already! (As a male of the species, I can sympathise with this lol)

 

[MarionC]

It is a slippery slope indeed! LOL

Speaking of cleaning... mission1, maybe a soak in dawn and hot rinse would help with the stone singing for you. Sometimes I will feel uninspired about my diamonds when all they need is a cleaning. Judging from the photo it’s already pretty terrific!

 

[marymm]

I think your diamond is lovely and by the numbers should be a top performer.

And, yes, the majority of diamonds "out there" are average at best, so your GF's diamond likely shows up very well in most comparisons.

If the diamond doesn't sing, well, maybe no diamond would sing to you? Maybe you have to be wearing the ring for it to sing? Maybe it is singing but you don't recognize the melody? Maybe only your wife can hear it sing?

Maybe, don't overthink and don't overanalyze? Your GF is happy, the diamond itself is excellent ... so rest easy, your diamond pick checks all the boxes and fulfills its purpose and is truly beautiful.

 

[OoohShiny]

Sometimes I will feel uninspired about my diamonds when all they need is a cleaning.

If you ever lose all inspiration from your Yoram asscher, you know where you can send it...

 

[whitewave]

I would definitely clean your ring first.

When I first got here, my asscher lost its zoom. Then I looked at it and I was like “why did my stone turn grey?” It took several days to get all of the ground in funk off of it.

So when someone says they stone isn’t singing to them, my first comment always is to clean it (even if it is already cleaner than others, which I do not doubt!!)

 

[MarionC]

If you ever lose all inspiration from your Yoram asscher, you know where you can send it...

Ha yes! I will keep that in mind the next time I’m complaining that step cuts stay clean for a maximum of three minutes...

 

[Bron357]

Your fiancé has a beautiful diamond.
Most people’s diamonds come from Mall Jewellers or something the local jewellery guy had. Most these diamonds are I / J colour (colour is hard to detect for most) low clarity or worse Clarity enhanced and their cut is mediocre / poor. It is cut that anyone can notice. A diamond cut well with ideal proportions will be a sparkle bomb, a poor cut diamond will look like “crushed ice”in comparison.
as for seeing size difference, only side by side would you notice.

 

[mission1]

Just to update this - I had the two side by side and couldn’t really spot any difference in sparkle etc, despite trying various lighting conditions and wandering round different rooms of the house squinting at tiny little shiny things like a madman. The “clean it” advice was good, as initially it looked like a clarity difference, but wasn’t. The size difference was also barely perceptible, but I could see the drop in two colour grades. All good learning....

 

[sledge]

Just to update this - I had the two side by side and couldn’t really spot any difference in sparkle etc, despite trying various lighting conditions and wandering round different rooms of the house squinting at tiny little shiny things like a madman. The “clean it” advice was good, as initially it looked like a clarity difference, but wasn’t. The size difference was also barely perceptible, but I could see the drop in two colour grades. All good learning....

I'm pretty damn picky as I think many on here would agree.

It boils down to this -- the major reason you questioned stone 1 to start with is because you could see obstruction in limited situations at certain angles. So did stone 2 fix that problem or not?

Based on your own words, the cut quality (fire, sparkle, brightness, etc) is equally the same to YOUR eyes between both stones, right? However, it sounds like stone 1 has obstruction issues and stone 2 has color issues. Which is the worst evil to you? How about to your now fiance? I assume fiance as you indicate she's wearing the ring.

Just my 2 cents, but I personally feel that for YOU neither stone is the winner. You want a G+ color with no obstruction and the same cut quality or better. Hence stone 3 is what you are really seeking, even though stone 3 doesn't exist (yet).

I'm not bashing on you for it. I totally get it. As a guy, we want our women to have the best, and sometimes the best in our minds WAY supersedes the best in their mind.

My wife has to remind me of this from time to time. One of those times being just this week. We both love chicken wings and practically since we started dating we have what we call "Traditional Tuesday" date night. Nothing fancy, but BWW offers 1/2 price traditional wings (actually now BOGO that we split). My point being my stomach has been hurting most the week, and I've been eating very little and fairly selective about it. Tuesday came and she asked if I wanted soup for dinner. I looked at her confused and mumbled Traditional Tuesday and that was our thing. She giggled and said spending time with each other was our thing, and we could do that with chicken noodle soup.

I know, nothing major like plunking down a bunch of cash on a shiny rock but it's just one example where what bothers me hardly ever bothers her. I push myself harder than she expect so she's always pleased, even when it doesn't go how I planned.

Are you doing this to yourself here? How would your girl feel about trading rocks now that she's wearing it? My wife and I had a conversation this week about trading in her diamond and she frowned at me and said, "but it's not that exact one you gave me". How can I argue with sentimental value? I can't.

So swapping rocks may be more of a slippery slope than obstruction. I don't know your girl and your situation. I just now it'd be tough for me if I was in that situation. Had I not presented the ring and let her get attached, then it's a whole different story.

All that said, if you are going to swap, then not to be rude but you need to either sh*t or get off the pot. Your time is running out, and I think we've established stone 2 isn't the winner either, so the search for stone 3 has to start.

Let me know if I can help.

 

[mission1]

@sledge - the black dot I could see was almost identically replicated in the other stone. It’s very slight, as many of these things are. My fiancée loves the stone she has, so the way I see it I had my chance with a replacement... with hindsight I should’ve got something more substantially different (the budget was slightly arbitrarily based on what I felt she wouldn’t be uncomfortable with and informed by feedback from a couple of close friends; I could’ve happily spent more but given she didn’t want a larger stone it would probably be additional expenditure for diminishing returns). Just for context, the UK average engagement ring spend is apparently only around £1000 with a carat size of 0.6!

So yes, in ideal world I would probably up the budget and start again, but I recognise it would be purely to appease me.... and it’s not about me, it’s about my fiancée who is already delighted.

I’d quite like to stick around though, if that’s ok? I perhaps just need to persuade someone else to get engaged so I can feed my diamond research addiction!

 

[sledge]

Just curious -- but did you see any stones with 54-57 table, < 62 depth and 34.5/40.8 combo?

I'm not suggesting you seek one out or switch, I just wonder if getting away from that 40.6 pavilion is a good thing. It seems to be a common denominator. And if actuals dip below 40.5 you get into some issues as has already been discussed.

Not that you need my permission, but I absolutely hope you stick around. It's nice to have a few more guys on this board. Maybe your (soon) wife will also poke fun at you for getting more diamond crazy than her.

 

[mission1]

Yes, part of the hindsight is recognising that for my one chance at replacing I should’ve gone for something at 40.8 to get away from the risk.

 

[sledge]

Yes, part of the hindsight is recognising that for my one chance at replacing I should’ve gone for something at 40.8 to get away from the risk.

Live and learn brother, live and learn.

I'm currently trying to figure out how to sell my wife that I need a new gun safe. She knows I need more space, but this one is a little more than we discussed.

You think offering to let her throw some jewelry in there will sell the deal?

 

[OoohShiny]

Just for context, the UK average engagement ring spend is apparently only around £1000 with a carat size of 0.6!

Where did you find this claim, just out of interest?

I dread to think what a 0.6ct costing 1k GBP would look like!

 

[mission1]

Where did you find this claim, just out of interest?

I dread to think what a 0.6ct costing 1k GBP would look like!

Various google searches! Tbf the two data points are regularly quoted but independently of each other, so whilst there should be a direct correlation it’s all within the realms of information accuracy. It may be worse than I stated, though obviously not all engagement rings have a diamond...

 

[distracts]

@sledge - the black dot I could see was almost identically replicated in the other stone. It’s very slight, as many of these things are. My fiancée loves the stone she has, so the way I see it I had my chance with a replacement... with hindsight I should’ve got something more substantially different (the budget was slightly arbitrarily based on what I felt she wouldn’t be uncomfortable with and informed by feedback from a couple of close friends; I could’ve happily spent more but given she didn’t want a larger stone it would probably be additional expenditure for diminishing returns). Just for context, the UK average engagement ring spend is apparently only around £1000 with a carat size of 0.6!

So yes, in ideal world I would probably up the budget and start again, but I recognise it would be purely to appease me.... and it’s not about me, it’s about my fiancée who is already delighted.

I’d quite like to stick around though, if that’s ok? I perhaps just need to persuade someone else to get engaged so I can feed my diamond research addiction!

Well - if you now feel like you could have spent more - you could always get her a blingy eternity band for a wedding band, or shop for a diamond pendant or earrings to give her before the wedding.

Most of us who are regulars originally came here on an engagement ring or anniversary ring search, and then stuck around because we enjoy learning and helping others. Plus PS is a pretty chill community.