How did you transform from hoarder to minimalist?

[diamondyes]

For example: I kept a (clean) paper cup from Tiffany & Co… it’s ridiculous. But my parents kept everything and it’s a hard habit to break.

Anyone carve a new minimalist path for themselves?

 

[missy]

i couldn’t stand all the stuff. I feel better and freer with less stuff I put value in relationships not things. Just took me time to verbalize how I was feeling and start doing something about it. I have a ways to go but I’m on the right path imo. For me

 

[Dee*Jay]

Recognize that it's a PROCESS!

If you're a hoarder (and I have no idea if you really are or if you're saying that you have kept a lot of stuff -- those are different things) you're not going to go to bed tonight and wake up tomorrow a minimalist.

Let me throw out some platitudes... but they're true:

- The first step is recognizing there's an issue. CHECK!

- Every journey starts with one step -- or in this case, the throwing away of one paper cup.

Don't start with the hard stuff. Getting rid of mom's wedding dress is likely not the right first step. Pick something you CAN let go (even if it's a little hard, but not TOO hard to do) and throw it out (or donate it, or whatever the right disposition is).

Also, what's driving this? Are you being crushed under mountains of "stuff"? Are you just tired of looking at everything? Is there an external force?

Finally, what's behind it? I.e., why do you keep everything? My grandparents grew up during The Depression. They kept Ev.Re.Thing. Is there a factor in your past that drives you to this? If so, can you process though that and acknowledge it but also recognize that was THEN and this is NOW and you don't need all of the things?

These are just my rambling thoughts, but if I were going down this path these are the things I would want someone to ask me.

 

[marymm]

I am in that process -- though never a hoarder I did have too much stuff

I started out by targeting categories:

-- I went through all of my books and kept only the ones that were out of print or carried distinct special memories -- otherwise utilize my local library and also maintain digital book library.

-- I went through all of my paperwork and kept hard copies of only what was current/necessary/appropriate -- old stuff was sorted into "to be shredded" box or into the recycling bin.

-- I went through my clothes and eliminated anything I didn't like the feel of, that I didn't ever wear, that wasn't comfortable or attractive on me -- most of the discarded clothing was cleaned and folded and delivered to charity but some items were tossed into trash

-- Due to the downsizing of clothing, I was able to remove a few small pieces of bedroom furniture which really opened up my bedroom physically and in terms of ambiance

-- I will be downsizing kitchen (soo many pots & pans and tools & utensils!) but am waiting to do so when we move in a few months ... DH is completely on board with "less is better" but my mom values her stuff -- at the new place mom will have her own suite which will be decorated as she prefers (and will have storage/space for her stuff) -- and DH & I can continue the downsize process in our area.

It really is an ongoing process -- as new stuff comes in, as it must and as it does, I/we need to take the step to get rid of the old -- i.e., buying/receiving new towels means getting rid of old towels (or cutting down to turn into cleaning rags), not just sticking new towels on top of old towels -- we only need so many towels, and not more than that -- and that's the perspective we're taking on most things/categories of things

 

[seaurchin]

I think the first thing to address (in general, not anyone in particular) is the mental part of it. I don't usually get very attached to my stuff so it's easy to clear it out when I get around to it and the practical tips help enormously.

But it seems many people do have strong attachment to their things. It's like the memories I store in my mind, they store in items related to events or eras of time. Or they think getting rid of things they no longer want or use is wasteful and they can't get past that idea. I don't think practical strategies for de-cluttering would help them without some kind of related therapy etc. first.

For ex., on a different forum, there was a de-cluttering thread where we'd share tips, support each other and report on our de-cluttering progress. One woman's "progress" would be things like throwing away a few plastic caps from milk jugs. She would also often just move the clutter from one room to another. Or she'd make complicated, time consuming plans to give each item, however low its value, to a specific person or cause. Like a pile of old egg cartons or something along those lines.

From what she said and showed of her home, it would take centuries to clear it out at that rate. Then she got mad and said everyone was praising each other on their progress but they weren't praising her "progress." To me, it seemed like she just enjoyed engaging with her problem, if that makes any sense, handling and discussing all of her "treasures," and wasn't serious about clearing it out.

Another thing I noticed was less extreme but a couple of people would buy more and more storage containers and shelves instead of realizing their living space was bursting at the seams and they needed to clear out half or more of their stuff if they hoped to live in a home rather than a warehouse, not just arrange it more neatly.

I left the thread because it weirdly turned into a pro-hoarding group disguised as a de-cluttering group lol.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I had a hoarding problem years ago but it was very specific, my focus was baby and kid clothes. At the time I didn’t realize that it was from anxiety I had from childhood and my mother’s death. Prior to her passing, I was always dressed nicely and always had what I needed, but after, nobody really cared so I had shoes that were too small, shirts that had holes. I remember having to cut a piece of my shirt from the bottom and glue it into a hole towards the top. Just sad.

Anyways, Freecycle was a thing back then, people would give away things and I would jump at any offering of kid’s clothes. My older son’s closet was stuffed with garbage bags full, the bags would pile up in the dining room waiting to be sorted, it was a scene. I lamented to DH that I couldn’t understand why the house was always so messy and he said “If you keep bringing things in, you are always going to have the same problem.” My thinking was very irrational, I knew that DH would make sure our kids would always have what they needed but I could not stop myself.

That was the turning point and I ended up giving away and donating a lot of clothes. I’m still not super organized but no longer hoarding.

 

[seaurchin]

The latest and largest de-cluttering I did was when I was getting ready to downsize and move a few years ago. I would have said I didn't have much stuff so I was very surprised to see how much I actually did have. It was a pretty big house and we had lived there for years.

If I had been too focused on what I did with all the stuff, I think I'd still be back there messing around with it. I decided to just "shovel and go" and donate it all, aside from a few high value items, which were sold. Or the extra large items, like furniture. We just left those the end of the driveway. People would come by and get them.

We'd fill a car with stuff, then go drop it off at Goodwill or similar. Rinse and repeat. I decided to consider it a big charity contribution to those less fortunate, and to feel good about it. I didn't even bother with getting receipts for my taxes but just dropped it off at their after-hours donation area any time of the day or night that I got around to it.

It took several (many) trips. I did have a few sick feelings about it but I also liked the quick dump idea a whole lot.

Since then, I have had a few more little sick feelings but nothing that would make me do it differently. I had a little meltdown about a silver and quartz necklace I had gotten rid of. I found an identical necklace on ebay and bought it for about $30. It may have even been the same necklace. That was a couple of years ago and I've never even worn it.

So I'd say to make "executive decisions" as if you were hired to come in and get rid of other people's stuff, considering things like how much time and effort you want to put into it and how big of a concern money from the items is to you. Then just deal with whatever emotions come along over it.

 

[lala646]

Well, my path toward minimalism was unintentional. In 2015 I had a fire in my apartment, and lost half of my possessions. My living room only suffered smoke damage, so I was able to salvage family photo albums, some books that were valuable or out of print, and a lot of my yarn and fabric stash for knitting and sewing, but honestly, I left behind 50% of what survived. I tried to see it as an opportunity to free myself of a burden, knowing I would have a hard time doing it in the future if I moved all the less important "stuff" to my new apartment. A year later, I met my DH, and he inherited mild hoarding tendencies from his parents, so I have to be a minimalist now, because he is such a maximalist. There simply isn't room enough in our apartment for both of us to have "stuff".

 

[seaurchin]

Now I try to clear things out regularly so my home stays fairly well clean, organized and "minimalist" all the time. My goal is to start clearing out clutter in each room every time I clean it, and put the excess in a donation box in the closet, which then gets dropped off whenever it's full.

Also, by "minimalist," I just mean being realistic about what I no longer want and getting rid of it, not depriving myself of anything I do want to keep.

Clutter accumulates so quickly. I just cleaned out the kitchen cabinets out and filled a kitchen trash can (mostly "expired" food) and an equal sized bag for donation.

It makes sense when you think about it, though. To stay at the same level, I'd have to take a nonperishable item out of the house for every nonperishable item that comes in. But considering bags brought in from shopping, gifts, mail packages etc., a lot more comes in than goes out.

I like flylady.com though I've never followed it 100% for long. As she says, just jump in and do whatever she has posted for that day, no matter where you're at. Doing that about 1/4 of the time keeps my place decent.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

In the spirit of this thread, does anyone else get all their Goodwill donations together, put them in the car and drive around with them for months?

If not, please disregard

 

[Austina]

I would always go through my clothes every 6 months and take out things I no longer wanted or wore, but 2 years ago we were gearing up for a big international move. Apart from the obvious things we couldn’t bring with us (electrical items), I went through each room, and sorted out things that we really didn’t need.

It was easier to start with one room, and do the keep, donate and dispose of piles. I joined the local FB Free Page, and anything that was still really good, but we didn’t want to pay to ship, I photographed, wrote a good description (with dimensions, if appropriate) and posted. It was still during Covid, so everything was pick up at the door step.

We got rid of 100’s of things that way, and only brought things with us that we knew we’d use. I washed all the clothing that we were donating to the Salvation Army, (lots of cold weather clothes we knew we wouldn’t need), then set about going to every recycling bin in the area to donate them. Smaller items that the local charity shops could sell were dropped off.

Doing it room by room doesn’t make it feel so daunting, and gives you a sense of achievement when that room is completed.

 

[telephone89]

Both my husband and I grew up with parents who valued stuff. I won't say hoarder because that's super extreme (and I think it's own specific mental disorder), but definitely STUFF, and we both inherited it to a slight degree.

For me, it's not about memories, it's about growing up poor and not being able to afford real tupperware, so saving all the empty yogurt containers. I also love a good deal (again, poor person mentality) so even if I don't need or even particularly want something, if it's such a good deal I might buy it anyways. Getting rid of things is more like "oh no, I might need that some day". When I get invited to the Barbie movie premiere I might get finally get to wear the strappy pink stilletos I bought - and still haven't ever worn . Anyways, that's just to say that it's relatively easy for me to collect things, but also not that difficult to get rid of them because there isn't really that much attachment.

I think the best way to declutter is to have SOME sort of process. Whether that is by room, or by section or cupboard. I think the worst part of the process for me is that it looks WORSE before it gets better! Once you actually pull everything out of one closet or one cupboard it's a bit astonishing at how much shit was actually in there! So it looks way worse, way messier, and then you need to go through everything. I don't prescribe fully to the marie kondo method, but I do think you need to actually touch and look at every item. For my yogurt container example, its easy to just look at the stack and think thats fine, move on. But how many are in there? Are any broken? Am I just literally storing garbage? How many do I ever need at once? Why am I storing 10x that amount? So actually checking each one and determining if I really need to keep it. This method may not work for everyone, but if there is not the emotional attachment it makes sense for me using my logical side.

Along the same line of having a process is to FINISH the process. Set a small goal at first to make it achievable! Don't start with the room that looks like a bomb went off inside, start with a junk drawer. Start with a coffee table.

I'm still not a minimalist, but I think I can count on one hand how many yogurt containers are in my cupboards now Also, the netflix show "the home edit" is basically an organizing show, but a big portion of the start is purging and getting rid of stuff (expired pantry items, toys the kids no longer play with, clothes that no longer fit). So even watching a few eps might give you a place to start.

 

[canuk-gal]

In the spirit of this thread, does anyone else get all their Goodwill donations together, put them in the car and drive around with them for months?

If not, please disregard

Not months, but maybe 2 weeks?

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

i like my stuff
we didnt downsize, we went for a one bedroom flat to a 4 bedroom house so we needed stuff !
i lost a lot of my stuff from down home when crown removales (Never use them) lost a lot of what was precouse to me including things that had been my dad's
also i didnt get much from mum and dad's house that i would have liked when mum moved because i had no where to put it so i like retro items

and i have lots of pretty little things i like looking at, if its in a cabinet you dont need to dust it
but everything in our house must be either useful or bueatiful and no broken or damaged stuff
naturally i have a few exceptions but its a rule i do find useful to control clutter as i know i do have tendencies to 'collect' stuff

as for clothes, havnt brought anything that wasnt essential (sox, undies and the like) for 6 years, using up things that we already have before buying anything new, shopping my own wardrobe first

 

[llamacat]

I'm a little ocd and dislike clutter and want things to be tidy and organised. I would say that I have a minimalist slant except in the things I collect lol.
The husband and my kids are hoarders. I will tolerate the piling up of 'stuff' if its neat and organised but when it starts getting messy, that's when I start decluttering.

 

[kenny]

Die.

That's my declutter plan.

 

[oncrutchesrightnow]

Not a hoarder but I did feel some pangs when the baby stuff started piling up… I was able to let go by imagining someone else’s child enjoying the toys and looking cute in the clothes.

 

[Bron357]

I always have the best intentions but somehow rarely get around to it.
I have a lot of stuff. It’s ok, I love stuff and it’s not creating and day to day hassles but slowly I work my way through areas and sell, gift or donate.
we have an attic, it’s like another house upstairs. It has a lot of stuff in it. A lot.
when we move DH says wwe’ll need a skip bin or two or three

 

[monarch64]

I worked in a non-profit thrift store maybe 8 years ago? Its mission was to supply women getting back to work with professional attire like interview outfits and then work clothing so they could get back on their feet. The amount of donations that rolled in daily was STAGGERING. I could not believe it. It gave me a real sense of just how much we overconsume and really made me sick of “stuff.”

Maybe you could volunteer at a similar place if one exists near you.

 

[danusia]

I am glad that I have no problems getting rid of things. My DH on the other hand would hold onto everything until we had to clean out his parents' house and then he "got it"! The problem with "hoarding" and believe me you are most likely not a hoarder that the important stuff can get mixed up with the unimportant stuff.

The reason I say that you likely are not a hoarder is that to tackle the in-laws house we finally contacted an attorney who in turn told us to contact an auction house that came in to examine the contents. They laughed when I said the in-laws were hoarders and showed me some photos of hoarder homes (you can google pics of hoarder homes online). Hoarders do not think of themselves as hoarders or that they even have a problem. They said a majority of people hold onto stuff because they are keeping it for their kids or grandkids, think that the stuff they have is very valuable and will sell when they need money, or they simply do not know how to get rid of stuff. Donate, toss out? And who will take their stuff? Out of the entire house they only found a handful of items that had any monetary worth. It was more expensive to find someone to haul away and dispose the non-important, non-valuable stuff (think almost $10,000).

That is when I not only had a garage sale but I started to sell stuff online through FB garage sale sites. I am still selling stuff on FB and do very well knowing my stuff is finding a new home. Not all donation places will accept everything and I once noticed that a bag of donations that I brought in was tossed into the trash bin - they were all new school composition books still wrapped in plastic. I fetched them out and gave them to a teacher in our neighborhood.

The best way to start is small sections at a time. Decide what to toss, what to keep, and a pile for "unsure and come to later". The process gets easier as times goes by. Now my DH gives me stuff to list on FB to sell and loves that we get something back for what we most likely spent a whole lot on.

 

[Arcadian]

I try not to collect insane stuff like...boxes.

And do you know how hard it is to find a good box?

Some of y'all know what I'm talking about

I threw out 30 boxes. It was very hard thing to do.

Next week, I'll probably need one of those boxes, just my luck.

 

[ringo865]

Lol, my 86-yo mom has literally 500 boxes of puzzles that I’m certain she bought at goodwill. She now is trying to clean her house so it won’t be a burden on us kids when she dies (no plans soon). Yet, she keeps reorganizing these boxes of puzzles and putting labels on them. I’m like, hey, want me to take 50 boxes in my van to the goodwill? She says, oh, no, I have to do these first.

huh?

 

[pearlsngems]

We still have our daughter living with us in our little 2 bedroom ranch, with not only all her stuff from her college apartment, but also additional housewares she's accumulated for her future apartment. She had hoped to be able to get her own place this summer, but it looks like it will have to wait, maybe as long as a year, due to some unavoidable expenses she's had.

Thank goodness our house has a full basement, but we are really full up. I don't expect to make much headway decluttering down there until I have more room to move around, after her stuff is out. Thankfully, I've already gotten rid of most of what belonged to my late parents and in-laws. I still have to tackle the photo albums-- theirs and ours.

I never regret things I have thrown away or donated. I'm not even particularly attached to much of what we own; if it all went in a fire, there are not very many things that are irreplaceable or that I would grieve. But I enjoy having and using them, and don't feel a need to get rid of things "just because." I'm okay with a lived-in house.

What bogs me down is the decision making process when decluttering, especially craft supplies. "Might I need or want to use this again?" "Might she need this for a school project?" However this has gotten easier since she graduated and since I lost interest in some crafts I used to enjoy. I've given away so many books, too. I rarely buy books any more-- we have a wonderful library system.

My husband has a table saw he has thought about selling. Also his machinist tools, now that he's retired. It would be nice to have that shed space back. I just suggested to him now that he put them on Craigslist.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I try not to collect insane stuff like...boxes.

And do you know how hard it is to find a good box?

Some of y'all know what I'm talking about

I threw out 30 boxes. It was very hard thing to do.

Next week, I'll probably need one of those boxes, just my luck.

year been there. done that

 

[pearlsngems]

I try not to collect insane stuff like...boxes.

And do you know how hard it is to find a good box?

Some of y'all know what I'm talking about

I threw out 30 boxes. It was very hard thing to do.

Next week, I'll probably need one of those boxes, just my luck.

Yes! But I'm holding on to some sturdy boxes for when our daughter moves out. Not as many as she'll probably need, though.

 

[monarch64]

We still have our daughter living with us in our little 2 bedroom ranch, with not only all her stuff from her college apartment, but also additional housewares she's accumulated for her future apartment. She had hoped to be able to get her own place this summer, but it looks like it will have to wait, maybe as long as a year, due to some unavoidable expenses she's had.

Thank goodness our house has a full basement, but we are really full up. I don't expect to make much headway decluttering down there until I have more room to move around, after her stuff is out. Thankfully, I've already gotten rid of most of what belonged to my late parents and in-laws. I still have to tackle the photo albums-- theirs and ours.

I never regret things I have thrown away or donated. I'm not even particularly attached to much of what we own; if it all went in a fire, there are not very many things that are irreplaceable or that I would grieve. But I enjoy having and using them, and don't feel a need to get rid of things "just because." I'm okay with a lived-in house.

What bogs me down is the decision making process when decluttering, especially craft supplies. "Might I need or want to use this again?" "Might she need this for a school project?" However this has gotten easier since she graduated and since I lost interest in some crafts I used to enjoy. I've given away so many books, too. I rarely buy books any more-- we have a wonderful library system.

My husband has a table saw he has thought about selling. Also his machinist tools, now that he's retired. It would be nice to have that shed space back. I just suggested to him now that he put them on Craigslist.

Once your daughter moves out with her actual apartment stuff, I bet your home will seem much lighter. It will be hard to let go of her. That was the first thing you listed and I often feel that the first thing people say/talk about is most important to them. It’s hard. You’ll all be ok through the change.

 

[pearlsngems]

Once your daughter moves out with her actual apartment stuff, I bet your home will seem much lighter. It will be hard to let go of her. That was the first thing you listed and I often feel that the first thing people say/talk about is most important to them. It’s hard. You’ll all be ok through the change.

I was okay with the empty nest when she went away to college, but I truly missed her sense of the absurd. No one can make me laugh as much as she does!

 

[missy]

I try not to collect insane stuff like...boxes.

And do you know how hard it is to find a good box?

Some of y'all know what I'm talking about

I threw out 30 boxes. It was very hard thing to do.

Next week, I'll probably need one of those boxes, just my luck.

year been there. done that

My cats and I get this

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

My cats and I get this

 

[ZestfullyBling]

For example: I kept a (clean) paper cup from Tiffany & Co… it’s ridiculous. But my parents kept everything and it’s a hard habit to break.

Anyone carve a new minimalist path for themselves?

DH have this convo alot because his mom 75yo is a hoarder but she does not see herself that way. She has five storages in three states, with stuff from when she was in her 20's. Her idea of downsizing is to combine her storages to one. That's what being a minimalist means to her, bless her soul.

DH has had convos with her that she should color code when goes to the storage to move stuff (to another storage) so she can discard unnecessary things as she goes along...'green' for goes to dump, 'yellow' for maybe and 'red' for keepers.
Of course this idea was shut down by her, but maybe in your case it might help?