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How did you know you found THE dress?

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Jas12

Jas12

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2006
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Hi girls

Wondering, how did you all decide what dress to buy? I hear a lot of " I tried it on and just knew it was THE ONE". (this feeling has only applied to fiance, hehe)

I haven''t had this feeling yet, and I am wondering if I am the only one. One particular dress made my mom cry, and I really do like it a lot, but I am not sure it is the ultimate, perfect dress for me. I have also tried on others that I like and are still ''in the running''. i am thinking maybe I should keep looking, but my sister, who knows me well, says it''s just my personality to not gush and think i look fab in a gown, so who knows...?

so, did YOU just know, hands down?
or, did some of you choose the best from a few that you liked?
did anyone settle or not care too much?
Did anyone ask sisters moms or friends to help them decide b/w a few options?

Thanks for the input!
 
I'm not a gusher.

The dress I chose had everything I was looking for but kept finding in bits and pieces in other dresses I tried on. There was one dress I really really liked but one thing about it bugged me (it had a size zipper that just ruined the effect) so I kept looking and considered that one to be my "fall back" choice if all else failed.

I knew it was the one when I came home and then realized that I had no desire to keep looking, kept thinking about how good it felt on, how I wanted to try it on again, and how I was really peeved that I didn't have pictures to gaze at. I also noticed that at night when I was dreaming, I would be wearing it in the weirdest places in my dream. I am not a primper or girlygirly and I rarely wear dresses so these kinds of desires are definitely odd.

I didn't gush but it is certainly always on my mind and it made me excited about the wedding.
 
The dress I ended up getting was the very first one I tried on. I tried it only on a whim, thought it looked great, but then decided that I should try some others on, too. I think I tried about forty dresses total, and I noticed that I would compare each dress to the first one. I finally had to go back and try it on after days of searching, and it just felt like the right one. There wasn''t anything that I disliked about it, and it had been on my mind the entire hunt. The lady at the dress shop said that many women end up getting the first dress they try on, so she said that wasn''t surprising at all. I think you will kind of know it when you see it because it will be the one that sticks out in your mind, and it is the one you can picture yourself walking down the aisle in.

Marisa
 
For me, there was no "THE" dress. I love the dress I ordered, of course, but really the only thing I wanted was a corset back and nothing floraly in terms of lace or embroidery. The price had to be right too. I ordered a MS dress (Olympia) and I'm so excited about my fitting, but to be honest I'd be happy with any dress that was similar!

ETA: and my MOM actually found it...I was about ready to leave the bridal shop b/c it's hot and the dresses are heavy. I dont like trying stuff on haha.
 
eek! did you see my "wedding dress fun" thread? totally didn''t have a break-down-this-is-the-one moment.
i tried on endless amounts of dresses. tons- till i was pooped! i took pictures which helped tons. it was hard because i had an idea of what i wanted but i couldn''t find that anywhere. finally i decided that i loved the reem fabric. from there it was which reem. i went back and forth with a few till i just decided. FI and i were on our way to houston and it came to me. i knew which one. i was getting very sleepy and i said to myself i''ll wake & if i feel the same way, then that will be it. that was it. decision made- just like that after ALL the stress of which one, and asking opinions everywhere.
 
ironically my dress is not the first one i tried on, but the very first one that caught my eye in a magazine and i said- i like that! but nobody had it to try on,
time went by and i forgot about it, etc.

i was getting so frustrated after all the searching, swore i was going to have one made, and at that point was trying on only to get confirmation that all the features i wanted in my custom dress would actually look good on me.

then- wham! weeks later on my first "i don''t care, i''m just using the salon to try on gowns" visits- it was the first dress i tried on that day. i had described to the lady what i was looking for and she brought me to the rack and said "we just got this one in, i haven''t seen anyone in it yet"
and i said- Oh my gosh, i think i know that dress!

well, know it I did- I put it on and it had all the features i was looking for- lace, cap sleeves (hard to find), not too poofy, pretty back (it has a corset back) and a manageable train.

the clincher was when i walked out in front of my 2 girlfriends and they said- that dress is so YOU, and then my other friend burst into tears.

So for me, it''s sort of like how I found my dear fiance- when I was least looking!
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oh, btw, my dress is a Maggie Sottero, Grace Kelly.
the vintage look is very fitting for our venue also (a country village) but i guess that makes sense since the venue is so "us" as well!
 
I actually bought 2 on ebay first, and then went looking. I fell in love with a Demetrios I bougth at a second hand store, but when I took pictures in it, I looked all out of proportion. So I fianlly gave in and did 1 day of shopping with my mom. I thought I wanted short sleeves, ball gown style, and a big train. The sales girl brought out one for me to try on that was off the shoulder, and I discovered that those looked really good on me. At the next shop I tried several on in that style. One was in the "clearence" section, it had been a sample, but it fit perfectly, and was priced really good, but it was a little long and was only an A line, not the full skirt I thought I wanted. By mom actually tried to convince me to get a different dress, that was a full skirt, and would need to be ordered. Something about having a dress that fit just right and being abe to take THAT one home did it for me, and I bought it. I would have loved the one my mom liked, but the other one was perfect as it was, and only needed a bustle, and I wouldn''t have to wait months to get it. It was a Mori Lee, and looked very "me". But no, I didn''t really have a "this is it moment", just a "this is it style" moment.
 
Honestly I kept waiting for that moment too, and it never came. I had a ball trying on dresses, finally narrowed it down to two dresses, and took the plunge by ordering one of them. I''m very happy
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Try not to feel the pressure of "I have to know its the ONE" -- so much of that is hype. Enjoy trying on dresses, and try to pick your favorite. It can be tough!
 

Speaking as someone who tried on, I kid you not, hundreds of gowns. Here''s the advice I have to help you. Envision you ideal day. What''s the feel? Casual, formal etc? Then your venue-- romantic, historical, modern? Once you start thinking about the details you have already planned, it will help you narrow it down- -at the least you can rule out certain things (casual wedding-- no ballgowns. That kind of thing).


Then, go to A LOT bridal shop and try on lots of siloutttes (I''ve been to around 30-- that''s excessive. But at least 5. And one of them should be highend regardless of your budget. My highend was Kleinfelds.). Dropped waist, natural waist, basque, empire... sheath, mermaid, a line... etc. And get an EXACT idea of what looks best on you. For me it was Dropped waist A-line strapless gowns with softly curved bodices and some detail to emphasis my waist. It''s a very exact silhouette that gave me the the confidence to try all different styles that it came in. Everything from richly beaded and embroided gowns, to lacey frothy confections, to very simple unadorned dresses came in that silhouette. I just needed to figure out the the style I wanted.


And to help figure the style issue out here''s what I suggest: Imagine the first time your fiance sees you that day. Other than WOW, what do you want his reaction to be? What side of ''you'' do you want to show him? We all have different faces we wear. The sex godess, The best friend, The princess, The mother of children... figure out what the ''face'' you want to put on is and think of the dress as your costume to bring that out.


For me, I was torn between the soft romantic ''me'' and the streamlined ''she''s got it together'' me. And when I started looking at gowns I noticed I liked gowns that reflected both of those. Alencon and Chantilly lace and Organza felt great. But so did the simple and unfussy gown I tried on. Finally I realized that when I closed my eyes, what I wanted him to see was the confidence I felt in our union. I wanted that to be the focus. So I picked the uncluttered streamlined look. So that I would be the focus, not the gown. And once I made the decision it was easy. I had been drooling over this one Rivini for two years. But it was out of my price range. Drastically so. So I asked myself if I could live with a store sample. And the answer was yes. Then I found the sizing chart for the designer, determined the size I needed and began the hunt. Always keeping a back up gown in mind that I knew I could live with and that I looked great in.



So that''s my advice. Long winded though it is. It will happen. Just give it some more time.
 
Great advice everyone

I am glad to know that I am not alone in this feeling. I''ll have to read a few of the old posts on this topic

Gypsy, you make a goodf point about the tone and ''feeling'' attached to a certain gown. I totally relate to this and have tried to explain it to my mother. I have told her that the dress she likes is gorgeous but maybe not the right tone for our outdoor, understated wedding. She doesn''t agree so of course this makes things complicated. I try to get my fiance''s input on how he pictures me that day, but that''s hopeless, he gives me the "i know you''ll look beautiful in anything'' line.

That said, my mind does keep going to this dress (Maggie Sottero Melinda) , so that should mean something.
I find dress shopping mostly enjoyable, so I ''ll look a little further and see what happens.
 
Hmm. I didn''t have any kind of *THIS IS IT!* moment initially. I wanted short sleeves. They''re next to impossible to find right now. I thought I wanted completely plain, no beads, pearls, none of that. When I tried those on, though, I didn''t feel like I was getting ready for my wedding day. So, when my aunt brought me a dress that had the EXACT color of purple/violet that I''d envisioned for my wedding, and I also saw that it had a laced up back, I thought maybe I''d like it.

First time on, it was totally the wrong size and I was disheartened. When I finally gave in and agreed to try on the next size up, it fit so well and I just felt like my Paul would adore it, it wasn''t uncomfortable, it wasn''t itchy, it had NO lace, which was a must for me, and my aunt said the simplicity of it was just like me, nothing huge and showy, but with a gentle difference, which made me feel like it was just right.

Then it was on clearance, and I swooped it up like crazy. I had no intention of buying it that day. There was nothing really *AH-HA! This is it* about it; it just sort of developed into me really liking it, not wanting to deal with the search for too long, and loving the price as well as the way it made me feel.

Are there any you can remember trying on that made you think, "hmm, I like this part, and that part"? Because I was able to overcome some of the things I didn''t like about mine, like it not having sleeves, when I weighed the things I did like against those I didn''t.

Having a consultant who really makes good suggestions based on your body type is a good thing, too. Mine helped me a ton!
 
i definitely did not have that this-is-the-one moment. i tried on dresses at 3 different stores. i went in to the experience knowing that i wanted to something a little more casual to go with our outdoor wedding by the ocean, but still elegant. i also knew i wanted my mother to make my dress.

i found what i thought was the right silhoutte and then bought this lace i fell in love with and sent it across the country to my mom. i asked for a sleeveless, v-neck sheath with a very short train. that was it. i didn''t see the actual dress until a couple of weeks before the wedding. the second time i put in on, i got married! i don''t know if it was exactly what i would have picked at a bridal store, but i thought it was great. and having my mom make it made it very special to me.

like gypsy said it was more important to me that the dress capture a certain mood, rather than having a long list of specific requirements.
 
I''m having the same problem. Nothing has hit me that it''s the one and I''m thinking I''m just not going to have that moment. It''s really frustrating me because I see all these other girls with their moms and sisters and bridesmaids having a great time getting so excited when it''s the one and every time I go shopping with my mom and sister we all get in a huge fight.

I don''t think I''m going to have the moment
 
Robbie honey.I''ve been following your dress threads and this is last time I''m gonna say this. Buy your own gown. Go shopping by yourself or with ONE good friend. You will have a good time, and feel in control of this very important detail. Good luck and God bless.
 
OK, so I'm a freak. I was getting my haircut at a mall I normally don't frequent since it's so far from me. After my cut, I wandered around into a regular dress shop, saw a dress, tried it on, noticed it wasn't see-through and it was $99. Wasn't it my size, so they found it at another store in a size 6 (which was also too small at the time). Figuring I'd lose weight, I bought it, and it was the first and last dress I tried on.

It was delivered rolled up in a fed-ex box with stains and rips. I called the shop. She offered to take it back or give me another $50 off. I took the $50 and ran with it - figuring out how to fix it and clean it.

All I know is that I never wanted to go dress shopping. It simply didn't appeal to me. I wish it did because I feel like I gypped my mom of the mother/daughter dress buying experience. I found something that worked and didn't look back. As I kept looking at the dress, I realized I liked it more and more, and in the end, I really think I found the perfect dress for me.

ETA: TGuy never saw the dress until I came down the sand to him. It was worth the surprise...apparently I clean up nicely. He just kept saying, "you look stunning"...I almost was afraid he wasn't listening to our officiant!
 
There was no "the dress" moment for me. I looked online for dresses I liked, found the shops that sold them and took fiance along for the ride. I tried on about 5 dresses and let him pick his favorite. It just so happened to be mine too. I had a "I can''t believe I''m getting married" moment and I absolutely love my dress but there was no "AH HA!" earth shattering moment.
 
I knew mine was the one when I didn''t want to take it off in the store
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This thread has come at a good time for me--while I am in like, the OPPOSITE of a hurry (we have not set a date, we WILL not be setting a date for a couple months... wedding will probably be next fall to early next winter) I did go dress shopping already for the first time yesterday.

....and I really liked the first dress I tried on. It was not at ALL what I thought I would like. I always wanted sleeves--cap or long short (you know, those short sleeves that go almost to above the elbow), but was not interested in strapless. Anyway, the first dress I tried on was strapless and just felt right in a way. I''m not decided or done or anything but I am wondering how this all will go from here. It was a Demetrios outlet store so the dress itself was in the perfect size and color--it is already good to go off the rack and even though it''s a currrent style, is $400 cheaper than at the main store. So it''s a real pull to maybe just do it. (And this outlet dress in a 4, in "sand" color is not going to last forever.....so even though a wedding could be 15 mos. away it could be good to jump on this? That is a small $ amount in the grand scheme of things but every bit helps and my parents are a few years from retirement. Torn already and I''ve been engaged for what, 4 days?! !)

THe other consideration is that I''ve always thought I might wear my mom''s dress. But I need to meet w/ a seamstress to see if the changes I want to make are even feasible let alone cost-effective.

Anyway, I''ll start a thread at some point, but I had a "moment" in this FIRST dress, which was not at ALL what I thought I wanted, and it threw me. I wonder if I will keep coming back to this one in comparison? I only just started, so... Yikes!
 
Blueroses: (Congrats again... haha) The first dress I tried on wasn''t what I was looking for either, but sometimes, like you said, you just have that "moment" and can''t get it out of your head.

Robbie: I agree with Gypsy. Take ONE other person with you. And DO NOT let them deter you from a dress that you think could possibly be the one. My maid of honor liked a different dress than I did, but I''m the one who had to wear it, so I said, thanks but no thanks. YOU have to wear it. Not them. Tell them you appreciate their input but ultimately it is your decision, not theirs. Also, the more people you take, the more complicated it becomes.

Marisa
 
For me I just knew when I put *my* dress on that it was *the one!*

I think I''m in the minority that I bought my dress within two weeks of our engagement, and at the 2nd bridal gown store that we went to. I already had a mind set of what I was looking for, but told myself to try on other syles just in case another gown looked better on me. So, I picked out several (like 6-7) gowns all different styles that I liked one the hanger, but kept the one I liked the best for last. As soon as the dress was over my body I knew that it was THE ONE.

I came out of the dressing room to show my Mom and was all smiles from ear to ear. I love everything about it and knew there was no turning back. She (my Mom) knew it was the one too...it''s just a feeling that you get when you know nothing else will compare to that one dress. Everyone in the shop knew it was the one too from my silly grin....and it''s a plus bc I really think my FI will ADORE me in it. I can''t wait to wear it down the aisle. Ah...I''m getting teary eyed. August 4th needs to get here faster!!

Good luck in finding your *one.* I think all of us are different and you may never get the feeling that I did, but I''d keep looking if I were you.
 
I tried on a lot of different dresses, and with the exception of 2 bridal shops I was by myself. I had seen about 3 that I really liked when I had them on, but then I found myself still looking for more. I tried on one that I just loved, but I didn''t have "the moment" that you sometimes hear about. But, when I got home, I kept looking up pictures of it. Then I realized I wasn''t looking at pictures of any other dresses, just the one that I had just tried on. Anyway, that was on a Thursday, so I decided to wait over the weekend, and since many bridal shops aren''t open on Monday that actually gave me until Tuesday. I can be pretty indecisive but when I make up my mind it is made up. So, I wanted a friend to go with me on Tuesday to try it on again, and I had already made an appointment at another bridal shop for Tuesday also. But it turned out she couldn''t go, so I went by myself (again). So I went to the other bridal shop first and hated all the gowns I tried on, even though they were pretty, and I knew then that I needed to just go order it. So I went back, tried it on, still loved it, and ordered it that day. So, I didn''t really have the moment when I first tried it on, I just couldn''t stop thinking about it later. And, I wasn''t searching anymore. AT that point, I didn''t even want to see any other gowns.
Also, I did what I call the hanger test. When we interviewed our photographer, he mentioned that he always likes to get a picture of the dress hanging on the hanger. And looking at a lot of albums of other brides I see that shot a lot. Well, each time I liked a dress I would picture it in that shot, and I just could never picture any of the other gowns in my wedding album. After trying on this gown I couldn''t imagine any other gown in my "hanger shot". Cheesy I know, but it helped!
Good luck!
 
No "the one" for me either!! I went to 8... yes, 8
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... dress shops before finally finding my dress. I had a VERY definite idea of what I wanted: classic and simple but with some sort of soft, subtle detail, like ruching. But every shop seemed to have a zillion big, ballgown style dresses with pick-ups and beading... and everything just seemed far too poofy and princess-y and overdone for my taste. Still, there were several that I LIKED... and one Jenny Lee that I loved... but for some reason I wasn't totally convinced on it.

But our last stop was Priscilla of Boston, where my mom and I found 3 that felt genuinely "right". I couldn't stop thinking about all 3 for a few days, so went back with both my mom and MOH. When I put on the last one, MOH actually get teary... and she's not a crier! So that was kinda how I knew.
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It also incorporated a lot of the details I liked about so many other dresses I tried... and was super-comfy and fun to wear! Plus at that point, I felt like I'd seen all the options and was truly ready to make a decision... and that's important for me when deciding on ANY major purchase. So those were major selling points too...
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labbielove - OMG - I am in looove with the MS Grace Kelly dress.. but i''ve not seen anyone in it either!!! I don''t suppose you have any pics of you in it???

Anyway..my dress story.. i had a different "dream dress".. but it was way out of budget... thought about having it made and all that.. I worked in a mall at the time.. and the tuxedo shop in the mall always has a wedding dress on display (sometimes a prom dress I guess)..from a store that is not far from the mall.. And I walked past it one day and my lunch break and FELL IN LOVE... I went back to my store and was telling the girls. I think I found my wedding dress!!! Funny thing was, I was not engaged yet.. it was still in my LIW days.. so they thought i was nutso.. Anyway.. FINALLY I got engaged and a couple weeks later I was out running some erands and the dress was on my mind still... so I went to the store to try it on.. All by myself.. I tried on some other dresses too.. Found a few that I liked.. but that was the one I realllly loved..A week or so later I went back with my mom and MOH.. my mom cried at that dress of course..(Why do moms always cry at THE dress??Its so cliche.. but true..) I still went to a few more shops and tried on lots of other dresses... but mine was always the one the others got compared to.. And all the other ones that I liked had similar features to THE dress.. So.. I just kind of knew!
 
hi robbie,
i wanted to pipe in and second the thought about buying your own dress, or as a compromise,
go shopping by yourself or with one close girlfriend until you narrow it down, or whatever feels right.

i know everyone is different, but i went by myself twice and then for the final trip had 2 friends come with me.

i just hate to think of you getting all stressed out and fighting with sisters/mom- and believe me i know how that can be (at least with mom)

my mom thinks i shouldn''t even wear white because FH and i live together- you get the picture (btw, i''m 39 years old- obviously she''s a bit behind the times)

keep us posted, and good luck!
 
MelissaSue,

Thank you! I love love love my GraceKelly dress too. Although I just noticed the Grace Marie(?) that is the same but sleeveless- I like the little cap sleeves though. I will have two photos of me in it eventually, but my friend that went with me (conveniently ignoring the sign saying no cameras!) snuck a couple on her non-digital camera.
so i am not sure when she will get the film developed.

I think we live near each other? I''m in Roch, getting married at the Genesee Country Village.....which is odd, cuz everyone keeps saying "oh that dress is so fitting for your location", which it is, but at the time I fell in love with the gown I had no clue where we''d be getting married. Then when i put it on it just clicked!
 
yep labbie.. I''m in buffalo.. East Aurora now, but i grew up in Alden, which is sort of on the Rochester side of Buffalo, you know? So we made trips to GCV a lot when I was younger.. school trips, town trips and sometimes my mom would just take me... I had never heard of having a wedding there, but its a great idea. And yes, that dress will be perfect!
 
Date: 10/19/2006 5:56:02 PM
Author: blueroses
This thread has come at a good time for me--while I am in like, the OPPOSITE of a hurry (we have not set a date, we WILL not be setting a date for a couple months... wedding will probably be next fall to early next winter) I did go dress shopping already for the first time yesterday.

....and I really liked the first dress I tried on. It was not at ALL what I thought I would like. I always wanted sleeves--cap or long short (you know, those short sleeves that go almost to above the elbow), but was not interested in strapless. Anyway, the first dress I tried on was strapless and just felt right in a way. I''m not decided or done or anything but I am wondering how this all will go from here. It was a Demetrios outlet store so the dress itself was in the perfect size and color--it is already good to go off the rack and even though it''s a currrent style, is $400 cheaper than at the main store. So it''s a real pull to maybe just do it. (And this outlet dress in a 4, in ''sand'' color is not going to last forever.....so even though a wedding could be 15 mos. away it could be good to jump on this? That is a small $ amount in the grand scheme of things but every bit helps and my parents are a few years from retirement. Torn already and I''ve been engaged for what, 4 days?! !)

THe other consideration is that I''ve always thought I might wear my mom''s dress. But I need to meet w/ a seamstress to see if the changes I want to make are even feasible let alone cost-effective.

Anyway, I''ll start a thread at some point, but I had a ''moment'' in this FIRST dress, which was not at ALL what I thought I wanted, and it threw me. I wonder if I will keep coming back to this one in comparison? I only just started, so... Yikes!
Click to expand...
Blueroses!!!

I''ve not read up on you in a while, but it seems things are going better for you these days! Yay! I remember the day well when you two were to meet up again, and for the life of me, I couldn''t keep you off my mind, wondering what you were doing, how it was going, hoping the best for you.

You are a strong woman!!

EEEK! And engaged for FOUR days??? Let me go find THAT thread!!
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**now, back to regularly scheduled *the one* dress talk**
 
WHOA - blueroses - I TOTALLY missed something.. last I was following your story.. you and your BF were calling things quits..after that whole trial period thing.. Now you are engaged and trying on dresssssess!!! You were one of my original LIW girls..(tomorrow is my 2 year of being engaged anniversary.. crazy!).. MUST find out what is going on!

Going to find your posts. :-D
 
I knew as soon as I saw it in a magazine...I immediately went with my mom to try it on and I knew it was "the one" but since it was $3600 my mom encouraged me to shop around everywhere and be absolutely sure before spending that much money, so I looked online and found a few dresses that I liked, went to try those on and "the one" again, I still knew it was the one but the next day I took my mom to see the 3 others I found that I liked and "the one" again, and even though we both liked the other 3, after seeing those compared to "the one" we just knew.
 
I also know it''s the one because even though I ordered it like 3 weeks ago and it''s mine I am still obsessing over it and looking at pictures of it like 10 times a day
 
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