how bad is it...what to do?

[applequeen]

Good morning,

A little over 5 years ago my now DH and I made an impulse purchase when buying my engagement ring. We were "just looking" at the mall on a Sunday afternoon and bought my ring at Zales. I've always regretted it but by the time the ring had been reset (switched it to a platinum trellis setting) and back to us we were just past the 30 day return period. It also took my husband a little while to come to terms with the fact that we may have messed up. At the time we knew nothing about diamonds and he was very proud of my ring. We paid $6500 for the diamond, platinum setting, and sales tax (10%). Now we find ourselves approaching our 5 year anniversary and the subject of an upgrade has come up (as it has many times over the years).

I'm at a loss about what to do. I considered making it a 3 stone (if the diamond is worth the effort) or just trading it in and starting new. A local jeweler has offered me $4000 trade in value. I want something bigger and I'm just not sure I can get a larger stone with my budget (around $4000 for the upgrade). If I go with the trade in then my total budget would be $8,000 to get something bigger and better. It is very important to me that whatever I end up with is what I will be 100% happy with...no more regrets or second guessing. If that means waiting longer so we can increase the budget then that is OK.

So... I'm asking... how bad is this diamond? Is it worth my anxiety and is it worth resetting or should I trade it in and start new. I have had it looked at by a couple jewelers (including the one I spoke to about the trade in) and have been told it's "not bad" or "it's better than many I see come in here". It appears eye clean to me (terrible eyesight) but the jewelers have told me they don't see any black inclusions... I know for sure there is a feather close to the center.

Here is the information I have on it and a couple pictures (sorry they are large).

 

[denverappraiser]

It looks like a perfectly reasonable stone and your approach is sound. Shop around to see what you want, shop around to see what you can get for the one you've got and see if the difference is worth it to you. Any buyer is going to rely on their own grading rather than that GS document anyway.

On trade ins, bear in mind that there are 2 sides to the deal. A high trade in value can be offset by a high selling price on the new one so make sure to look at BOTH numbers.

Also be aware that if the new one is significantly larger and/or a different shape you may need to replace or seriously retrofit the mounting as well. At the minmum you'll have some costs for setting and possibly prong repairs. Depending on what you've got, this all may be a significant component to the deal.

 

[applequeen]

Thanks.... the trade in quote was for the stone in it's current setting.

Assuming that I decided to start from scratch....is there any chance that an oval of similar width could work in my current setting?

 

[Lula]

Thanks.... the trade in quote was for the stone in it's current setting.

Assuming that I decided to start from scratch....is there any chance that an oval of similar width could work in my current setting?

We'd have to see a photograph of the profile of your ring to tell you if the head (part that holds the diamond) could be switched out. Denverappraiser gave you good advice -- make sure you are not overpaying for your new ring after the trade-in. If you do decide to go through with the trade-in, make sure you post detailed information about any new diamond or ring here, and ask for feedback, before you actually purchase it. Another thing that may be helpful to know is if the store you are working with on the trade-in sells GIA graded diamonds.

 

[minmin001]

can you trade it in back to zales since you bought it there? I see they have lots of GIA stone with ex cut.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Apple, your stone is not horrendous at all. I actually think it could be a very good candidate for a recut by someone like Brian Gavin. It could be cut into a nice 60/60 type stone perhaps. Right now it is deep and steep, so there is good depth to play with and likely good crown height. I bet you would not lose much mm spread on a recut, though the stone would likely dip below the 1ct mark. Of course, I am speculating, you could need to send the stone to Brian to check.

I would not suggest the trade in. Denver Appraiser hit the nail on the head when he said that there are two parts to a trade, the value given for the current ring and the amount charged for the new. The latter will probably be ridiculously high. But you could ask the jewler to call in some options.

Reality check: A properly graded diamond of over 1ct, with great cut, H color, and SI1-SI2 clarity is going to likely cost between $7000 and $8000 online, much more from a jeweler with a store front.

So what is your goal? If better cut, I would explore a recut. If bigger, then I would consider the secondary market or else starting fresh, and turning your current diamond into a pendant. If a new shape, again, start fresh. But I would certainly explore a recut. There is risk involved in a recut, but we have seen many successes here on PS.

 

[yssie]

I think PS is often both a blessing and a curse, because I think it's easy for newcomers who've already purchased stones and who aren't necessarily interested in or in positions to make changes go away feeling that they made bad purchases, which may well *not* be the case.

So - I'll counter your questions with some of my own:

1. What, exactly, do you not like about your stone/ring? This will help figure out if a reset or restart is more likely to be what you're looking for.
2. What, exactly, do you need to be 100% happy with your stone? Try to figure this out and list them all, important and silly. Do you need a stone with a GIA or AGS report to be 100% happy? Does that stone need to have a certain cut grade - GIA Ex, AGS0? Does it need to sparkle like crazy, but the papers aren't so important? Does it need to be "PS vetted"?
...

ETA: ditto Dreamer.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Great minds, Yssie. Great minds.

 

[vintagelover229]

You've gotten a lot of great advice here and congratulations on your 5 years of marriage!

I know many people have said that you shouldn't trade it in (I agree with that if it includes the setting-however with 8k you can get a very nice ring if your willing to do estate pieces or look for one that has been consigned). I'm not sure the size you are looking for (if I missed it I'm sorry) but I'm going to link you to some options that are around the 8k budget and then you can decide what to do from there. I think a recut is a great idea-although that won't get you the size upgrade however you could put it in a halo setting OR later on down the road put it as a pendant and use the $ saved from not upgrading to continue to save until you have the $$ to buy your dream ring in another 5 years or so.

This isn't bigger but it's a gorgeous ring/setting and they have a TON of rings on there site to check out.

http://antiqueengagementrings.com/shopping/shopexd.asp?id=3328

You mentioned an oval and here is under 2k but it's .86 carats and 2 other ones in the budget

http://goodoldgold.com/diamond/8486

http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/8628

http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/7915


Here is a BEAUTIFUL ring for under 8k from jewelsbyericagrace
http://jewelsbyericagrace.smugmug.com/JbEGSignatureSettingsandSpecia/Plain-and-Pave-Solitaires/The-Lynda-Engraved-Halo-Bezel/20399168_cFXTdV#1614345685_Wbv2k5h


Here is a really nice round that is over a carat for under 7k H color SI2 (looks eye clean) 1.11
http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/8831/

 

[Dreamer_D]

I have another suggestion, from another almost five years married lady

The best money you could possibly spend would be to keep your diamond as is, or put it in a pendant, and buy yourself a big blingy five stone ring for your anniversary. I went from a large solitaire to a bling diamond band, and let me tell you -- BLING BLING! It is such a wonderful, classy, MARRIED look. I adore my own ring, and now vociferously suggest every married woman own a blinge five stone ring. I bet it will totally scratch your itch!

 

[applequeen]

Wow! Thanks for the responses. You've hit on great points (all of which I have considered at some point). It irks me that we messed up to start with. I normally over research every purchase. I spent 3 days looking at toy kitchens for my son for Christmas this year (and bought 3 before my final selection).

The jeweler I've spoken too also mentioned that the stone was a little deep and said it could be recut. I like this store very much (small family owned business) and they seem to be fairly priced. I bought a pendent from them a couple years ago and the price was very similar to online prices I explored. So...while I want the best deal.... I don't mind paying a little more for good service and supporting the local economy. I have also purchased online and had a great experience...so really I can go either way.

In terms of what I want.... honestly the numbers don't matter to me... I don't mind color (I actually like warmer tones) and I don't mind lower clarity as long as I can't see it. So what I want is a diamond with great performance. Currently my diamond looks great in some conditions and very dull in others.... I want it to look good (regardless of any paperwork...other than for insurance I couldn't care less) all the time. I want to never look at it again and feel regret.

I don't think the trade in option is really for me due to sentimental reasons. What I have always loved about this ring is that it represents our excitement to take our relationship to the next level....you really can't put a value on that. I am much more likely to save longer for a new stone and keep this one than I am to trade it. I am totally open to a secondhand stone... I love a good deal and would probably look there first. If I went the "new to me" stone route...I'd probably get an oval.

I am very open to the idea of recutting....if I end up with a better cut stone that still looks close to 1ct. That might be a great option to reset into a 3 stone so I still get plenty of coverage/ bling but with a great stone.

Tell me more about this recut idea...is it possible to estimate the size of the recut diamond? How much does a recut usually cost?

 

[applequeen]

I have another suggestion, from another almost five years married lady

The best money you could possibly spend would be to keep your diamond as is, or put it in a pendant, and buy yourself a big blingy five stone ring for your anniversary. I went from a large solitaire to a bling diamond band, and let me tell you -- BLING BLING! It is such a wonderful, classy, MARRIED look. I adore my own ring, and now vociferously suggest every married woman own a blinge five stone ring. I bet it will totally scratch your itch!

That has crossed my mind (how how the wheels do turn). I would put this stone in a pendant and use my current pendant stone (.5) for 1/2 of a set of earrings.

One of my best friends wears a 5 stone as her wedding band. I love love love it .... but I don't want to copy her look. If it wasn't someone so close it wouldn't matter.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Apple, she does not own the look You can make your unique by having it graduated or something else. I am suggesting a stand alone piece. But you know your own heart! I just don't think you should let someone else's bling determine your own choices. Afterall, every woman has a solitaire too. That does not stop anyone from getting one for themself!

 

[denverappraiser]

What is it that you regret about this one?

 

[yssie]

When was the last time your diamond got a *thorough* cleaning? I don't mean just a wipe - I mean a full on soak/scrub/steam of top and bottom. "Dull" is definitely not a characteristic I'd ascribe to proportions - that's more likely a clarity or cleaning issue, neither of which recutting will solve (well - outside of some very unusual circumstance I guess!)

Also - have you compared your stone to others (after a good cleaning) in-store? If not, you should definitely take some time to go and play with some before deciding on anything - all diamonds will look different in different types of lights, and some of the "dullness" you're seeing may just be part of being a diamond - we've had people come to PS frantic because their stones aren't LEDs 24/7


Both www.briangavindiamonds.com (TX) and www.singlestone.com (CA) do recuts, for a modern RB I'd go with Brian, for an older style I'd pick Ari. For personal experiences I'd advise reading through BeachGirl's threads - she chipped her stone and had BGD recut it, and her posts have lots of good discussions about risks/rewards/unintended consequences - starts here [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-chipped-my-diamond.164929/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-chipped-my-diamond.164929/[/URL]

 

[applequeen]

Apple, she does not own the look You can make your unique by having it graduated or something else. I am suggesting a stand alone piece. But you know your own heart! I just don't think you should let someone else's bling determine your own choices. Afterall, every woman has a solitaire too. That does not stop anyone from getting one for themself!

You are right of course I love the idea of just 1 ring...my mom wore a diamond band only for many years and I always loved the look. I have a dainty aquamarine and diamond half eternity band that I bought from Whiteflash to celebrate my son's birth (March baby). I wear it on my right hand but occasionally switch to my left when I want something simple. For a stand alone wedding ring I'd want something much more substantial... but a little goes a long way with my small hands.

We're thinking about TTC #2 so there may be some extra $ in the budget for another celebration gift

 

[applequeen]

When was the last time your diamond got a *thorough* cleaning? I don't mean just a wipe - I mean a full on soak/scrub/steam of top and bottom. "Dull" is definitely not a characteristic I'd ascribe to proportions - that's more likely a clarity or cleaning issue, neither of which recutting will solve (well - outside of some very unusual circumstance I guess!)

Also - have you compared your stone to others (after a good cleaning) in-store? If not, you should definitely take some time to go and play with some before deciding on anything - all diamonds will look different in different types of lights, and some of the "dullness" you're seeing may just be part of being a diamond - we've had people come to PS frantic because their stones aren't LEDs 24/7


Both www.briangavindiamonds.com (TX) and www.singlestone.com (CA) do recuts, for a modern RB I'd go with Brian, for an older style I'd pick Ari. For personal experiences I'd advise reading through BeachGirl's threads - she chipped her stone and had BGD recut it, and her posts have lots of good discussions about risks/rewards/unintended consequences - starts here [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-chipped-my-diamond.164929/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-chipped-my-diamond.164929/[/URL]

I have a Sharper Image Ultrasonic cleaner.... last used it 2 weeks ago and this morning I soaked it in very hot water with Dawn so it's probably not terribly dirty. I try to keep it clean because I am so paranoid about how it looks.

Honestly my diamond looks its worst in jewelry stores... I don't understand it....it always looks terrible (even in places like Zales where it shouldn't look any worse than the others there). The little store that I like so much has a lot of natural light and it always looks good there (which may be why I like the store so much )

 

[OCgirl]

I would recommend a recut if the stone holds sentimental value to you and have it re-set into a three stone.

I love this three stone setting:
http://www.briangavindiamonds.com/engagement-rings/three-stone-trellis-18k-white-gold-5376w18

Depending on the porportion you want, an additional $3 - 4k might be doable and it'll feel like you got a brand new ring!!!

 

[applequeen]

What is it that you regret about this one?

I regret that I didn't do my homework to the standards I usually do for any purchase and ended up with something average that I will wear the rest of my life.

I don't wear a lot of jewelry.... rings, necklace, earrings...same ones...every day. I don't need variety but I want my few pieces to be fantastic.

Does that make sense?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I also kept my not-so-great original 1 ct. diamond and started over with a new ideal cut diamond, but after 30 years!!! I also had my mother's 1 ct. diamond recut and it came out as a .80 and I set it in a pendant. I don't think you'll be happy with the recut for an engagement ring because it probably will turn out smaller than it currently is.

So my recommendation is to go for the 5 stone band now from a PS vendor so you'll know you're getting the best quality stones. You can make the current diamond into a pendant or put two sapphires on either side and make a pretty right hand ring. Then for a much later anniversary, save up and get the diamond that you'll be happy with permanently. Many of us made mistakes on our first diamonds because we simply didn't know any better. But I also kept mine for sentimental reasons.

I have exactly the same philosophy...a few pieces but the best of quality.

 

[yssie]

I have a Sharper Image Ultrasonic cleaner.... last used it 2 weeks ago and this morning I soaked it in very hot water with Dawn so it's probably not terribly dirty. I try to keep it clean because I am so paranoid about how it looks.

Honestly my diamond looks its worst in jewelry stores... I don't understand it....it always looks terrible (even in places like Zales where it shouldn't look any worse than the others there). The little store that I like so much has a lot of natural light and it always looks good there (which may be why I like the store so much )

Oops - I just looked at your info and you've been here a long time! My mistake for thinking all names I don't recognise in RT are newbies

I like the idea of a fivestone a lot. But your stone is kinda ideally proportioned to shave a little off the bottom and a little off the top without losing much in the way of diameter, so if that's something you're seriously considering it's worth sending to BGD to see what they think, find out what your options are - it might not be a good recut candidate afterall.

 

[Dreamer_D]

You can send you stone to Brian for a free evaluation. I believe all you would pay is shipping to him, a nominal fee to unset and reset your diamond, and shipping back to you, if you opt not to recut. He would scan the stone and present to you a plan for recutting and you would have some idea of what the outcome could be. The cost is reasonable, seems to be to be under $500 most of the time. I don't think you would lose much face up size and it might make the stone mind clean for you!

But read the threads Yssie linked since there are risks to a recut that you have to accept.

In terms of a new ring, if you have $4k, you can get a killer five stone with J color diamond, each one being 0.30ct! Trust me, it is a bling tastic look. So much more blingy than a single larger diamond, there is just no comparison! An oval will not sparkle as much nor give the same hand presence. Is there a Tiffany near you? If so, go there and try on one of their five stone bands with larger rocks. THAT is what you get from a PS vendor. It is not the same at all as what you will see in most local stores since in my experience local stores don't have the same quality diamonds or settings. You could then try to make such a ring locally if you wanted, but for getting a feel for the look, Tiffany is the only plase to go! Memoire or Hearts on Fire would work too in terms of quality.

So if it were *me* I would explore the recut, and get a five stone band.

 

[applequeen]

I've also considered resetting my current diamond into a new setting... maybe something like this. My biggest hold up is that I don't want to throw good money after bad (meaning should I just start over with a new stone)

http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-engagement-ring-platinum_8311?track=mi

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I personally don't think that will solve the problem. The recut cannot hurt even if you want to use the diamond for a pendant. The only way I'd get a new setting is if you had it recut and then put it in a halo setting to make it look slightly larger. But a new solitaire setting really will not take away the fact that the stone is not the quality you want for your e-ring.

 

[applequeen]

You can send you stone to Brian for a free evaluation. I believe all you would pay is shipping to him, a nominal fee to unset and reset your diamond, and shipping back to you, if you opt not to recut. He would scan the stone and present to you a plan for recutting and you would have some idea of what the outcome could be. The cost is reasonable, seems to be to be under $500 most of the time. I don't think you would lose much face up size and it might make the stone mind clean for you!

But read the threads Yssie linked since there are risks to a recut that you have to accept.

In terms of a new ring, if you have $4k, you can get a killer five stone with J color diamond, each one being 0.30ct! Trust me, it is a bling tastic look. So much more blingy than a single larger diamond, there is just no comparison! An oval will not sparkle as much nor give the same hand presence. Is there a Tiffany near you? If so, go there and try on one of their five stone bands with larger rocks. THAT is what you get from a PS vendor. It is not the same at all as what you will see in most local stores since in my experience local stores don't have the same quality diamonds or settings. You could then try to make such a ring locally if you wanted, but for getting a feel for the look, Tiffany is the only plase to go! Memoire or Hearts on Fire would work too in terms of quality.

So if it were *me* I would explore the recut, and get a five stone band.

I will look into the recut. It's worth checking out. I would also like a better appraisal for insurance purposes and would look into having that done while it's unset.

No Tiffany anywhere close but I travel for work and can probably find one.

I want to explore all my options and I am not in a hurry.

 

[applequeen]

I have a Sharper Image Ultrasonic cleaner.... last used it 2 weeks ago and this morning I soaked it in very hot water with Dawn so it's probably not terribly dirty. I try to keep it clean because I am so paranoid about how it looks.

Honestly my diamond looks its worst in jewelry stores... I don't understand it....it always looks terrible (even in places like Zales where it shouldn't look any worse than the others there). The little store that I like so much has a lot of natural light and it always looks good there (which may be why I like the store so much )

Oops - I just looked at your info and you've been here a long time! My mistake for thinking all names I don't recognise in RT are newbies

I like the idea of a fivestone a lot. But your stone is kinda ideally proportioned to shave a little off the bottom and a little off the top without losing much in the way of diameter, so if that's something you're seriously considering it's worth sending to BGD to see what they think, find out what your options are - it might not be a good recut candidate afterall.

No problem... I rarely if ever post so I understand if no one recognizes me. I discovered this site 5 years ago right after we bought my ring... it was one of my first clues that we rushed into our purchase.

 

[vintagelover229]

I see that you are probably going for a recut (I really like that idea too!) and so I thought I'd link you to some pretty affordable vintage diamond bands since you stated you like warmer colors (my dream RHR is actually a nice warm stone bezel set myself!)

Here are a few

Under 2k
http://www.ebay.com/itm/OLD-EUROPEAN-CUT-DIAMOND-RING-BAND-14KT-YELLOW-GOLD-PLATINUM-1-CT-/380393825978?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item58913d26ba

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Victorian-18ct-Gold-half-hoop-1carat-old-European-cut-5-Diamond-ring-circa-1890-/230658881404?pt=UK_Jewellery_Watches_VintageFineJewellery_CA&hash=item35b457377c

This is a 7 stone and a bit more at 2500.00
http://www.rubylane.com/item/518197-RGC10902G/Antique-Victorian-7-Stone-Diamond

I've never seen one like this before
http://www.rubylane.com/item/518197-RGC11605V/Antique-Stacking-Cushion-Cut-Diamond


This is a bit over the 4k budget but this is a BEAUTIFUL 3 stone

http://www.rubylane.com/item/518197-RGC11456G/Vintage-Platinum-Art-Deco-Diamond

 

[rainydaze]

I've also considered resetting my current diamond into a new setting... maybe something like this. My biggest hold up is that I don't want to throw good money after bad (meaning should I just start over with a new stone)

http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-engagement-ring-platinum_8311?track=mi

i wouldn't personally recommend this - i was in a similar boat as you are and i chose this route the first time around. it didn't solve the problem, and now i have a very expensive, gorgeous setting that is sitting empty because i finally threw in the towel and traded in my stone towards a new one (this was before i knew about recuts). it's exactly as you say - i threw good money after bad and it wound up worse!

i think recutting is a great idea as you get to keep the original with the memory-value, but you eliminate what irks you about it! that also leaves the door open for any of the other great suggestions - RHR, reset into three-stone or halo, make it into a pendant or half of a pair of studs....

if i had it to do over i would have recut my original diamond and worn it as a pendant, then started fresh with a new ering. good luck, it's a fun decision to have with so many options!

 

[Dreamer_D]

To be clear, I am not saying you *should* recut! Just something to look into. I don't suggest a reset. It seems to me that the issue you have is knowing your diamond may not be the "best" in terms of cut, or that you might have spent too much. These are things you cannot likely change. Even a recut will result in risk of loss of thr stone, and likely some loss in spread (I think not much honestly given the proportions of your diamond). I sort of think from an economic point of view accepting this diamond for what it is could be best, and getting a new ring that is mind clean for you -- what ever that means -- could be the way to go.

 

[applequeen]

Dreamer I understand you completely .....

I don't think I will ever be happy with this diamond, as is, for this type of use (engagement ring). I am going to discuss exploring a recut with my husband tonight. I think a recut when combined with a reset (3 stone or something along the lines of the set I posted) may be the trick. Having sidestones or diamonds in the setting might offset the loss of size from a recut.

The 5 stone idea is growing on me... it's just so logical 5 stones for 5 years The problem I have when trying on these types of rings is that they just don't fit me ... I'm a size 4 and they are usually huge on me. It's hard to get an idea of how it will actually look when the size is so off.

I