How are you handling hosting friends when people have different rules about masks/distancing?

[mellowyellowgirl]

So happy for you!!! That sounds like a great plan and it's lovely that you're all on board with it.

Gatherings are fiddly to plan these days but well worth it imo. Have a great time!!!!!!

 

[qubitasaurus]

Thanks! We have done several months of zoom meetings.
We wanted to get together safely while the weather is nice so we can be outdoors.

In the US, this is not going away any time soon. So we are trying to find a way to socialize safely.

Charades, pictionary were good and could be done over zoom. You guys could also go for a walk together somewhere sufficiently remote to be pretty empty. Then you can totally spread right out and everyone can control their own circumstances a bit more -- that might make them a bit more comfortable on an individual basis.

Edit: ahh ok sorry did not read whole thread as I have some eye strain at the moment and reading off the screne makes it worse. Glad you guys found something you were all comfortable with.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I just came back from a GTG at a friend's backyard. There were 9 of us w/o mask but we sat 6 fts apart.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

It drives me crazy that the Australian government insists that social distancing is 1.5m (5 feet) whereas everyone else is 6ft! How did they come to their number? I will never know!

 

[violet3]

Thanks for all your replies.
The 5 of us have agreed to---outdoors, masks AND 6'+ distancing.
We are lifelong friends and even though some of us are okay with only either distancing or masks outdoors, we want to make our friend feel safe. She has agreed that we may lower our masks to eat or drink.

This is my 4th time doing any socializing in almost 6 months, and I feel we have made it as safe as possible.
If the weather does not cooperate, those who are comfortable moving indoors (with masks and distancing) are welcome to do so.

You are a lovely and thoughtful person - I hope you have a great visit with your friends

 

[Austina]

We’ve been having friends round, just 2 at a time, we’ve sat and ate in the garden, and if we’ve had to come inside, we’ve sat at least 2 metres apart.

We haven’t been wearing masks as our infection and death rates are right down here, but if we were to go to visit someone who wanted us to, we would.

 

[violet3]

At the party I was referencing above, I was sitting on the steps of the patio, and everyone else was sitting around a table (right next to each other). They kept saying "Hey, Violet, here's a seat right here. You don't have to sit on the ground!" I just kept saying no thank you.

Then most recently, my friends were at a restaurant and I walked by (with my mask) and stopped to say hello quickly, as I was walking to the grocery store to shop. My one friend offered me a sip of her cocktail, and when I said "no thank you," she said "I was offering you the side I didn't drink from," and she rolled her eyes at me.

It's a little like living in the twilight zone here, because it's a resort town, and people are TRULY acting like it doesn't exist, which is why we are a hotspot. I've just stopped saying yes to anything after that party, because here people treat you as if you are being ridiculous if you ARE following the rules and socially distancing.

I'm so glad you'll be able to see your friends safely @Elizabeth35 - socialization is so important for mental health!

 

[kipari]

At the party I was referencing above, I was sitting on the steps of the patio, and everyone else was sitting around a table (right next to each other). They kept saying "Hey, Violet, here's a seat right here. You don't have to sit on the ground!" I just kept saying no thank you.

Then most recently, my friends were at a restaurant and I walked by (with my mask) and stopped to say hello quickly, as I was walking to the grocery store to shop. My one friend offered me a sip of her cocktail, and when I said "no thank you," she said "I was offering you the side I didn't drink from," and she rolled her eyes at me.

It's a little like living in the twilight zone here, because it's a resort town, and people are TRULY acting like it doesn't exist, which is why we are a hotspot. I've just stopped saying yes to anything after that party, because here people treat you as if you are being ridiculous if you ARE following the rules and socially distancing.

I'm so glad you'll be able to see your friends safely @Elizabeth35 - socialization is so important for mental health!

Ugh, @violet3 , that sounds truly idiotic, I'm sorry!

My friend , a GP who was requisitioned (that's a thing here I France, they called upon the "medical reserve" and drafted doctors) during the height of the pandemic to care for Covid patients has been called "anal retentive" by friends because she's NOT comfortable pretending COVID is gone (indoors gatherings , kisses on the cheeks to day hello - even masked it's just plain unnecessary). And we're in a much better situation here than the US is. People seem to do everything to get that second wave rolling

 

[violet3]

Ugh, @violet3 , that sounds truly idiotic, I'm sorry!

My friend , a GP who was requisitioned (that's a thing here I France, they called upon the "medical reserve" and drafted doctors) during the height of the pandemic to care for Covid patients has been called "anal retentive" by friends because she's NOT comfortable pretending COVID is gone (indoors gatherings , kisses on the cheeks to day hello - even masked it's just plain unnecessary). And we're in a much better situation here than the US is. People seem to do everything to get that second wave rolling

Especially here - I've never been less proud to be a U.S. Citizen. That's 100% how my friends are, and I'm certain they call me "anal retentive" as well . But I can live with that honestly - I know that if I made someone sick (like my dad, who is my neighbor) that I couldn't live with THAT. So let them call me whatever they want!

 

[whitewave]

We aren’t hosting, and after my close call (isolated 12 days, negative result) after getting exposed by my pre symptomatic unknown at the time covid + friend, I would not go to anyone’s house where everyone wasn’t wearing a mask and socially distancing.

It’s not worth it. Those 12 days of isolation in a bedroom harmed my mental health. Texting my friend to know her journey with mild covid (age 45) was worrisome (though she ended up with a mild case over 10 days) and then my friend’s 19 year old died from covid.

It’s masks and socially distant for us, but truly we have done no entertaining or hosting or visiting anyone (aside from this one time with my friend that I came to completely regret). It’s not worth it.

 

[whitewave]

I guess I am befuddled that my invitation was really clear on what I was offering safety wise regarding distance, outdoors, food/drink, bathroom sanitizing, etc.

Thank you for your responses. It reinforces that everyone has different guidelines. And I respect that and try to honor that.
This is the first time I am patio entertaining so I am trying to make everyone feel comfortable and safe.

I am trying to be super clear with everyone and asking what will make them feel comfortable so that expectations are clear.

I guess if I was invited to something that was, for example, indoors or without masks or distancing, I would simply decline. I would never ask the host to change the rules for everyone.

So as a host--I am struggling to make it be safe for everyone, and we are all different.

I think this will be my first and last attempt at hosting a get together with 5 lifelong friends. It's not worth people feeling unsafe.

My friend texted me apologies every 30 minutes until I was negative. It GREATLY bothered her that she may have exposed me. Then I felt bad that she felt bad because that is how it gets transmitted. Neither of us had symptoms.

So to me, that is not worth it either as a host. If someone from your get together ends up with covid, whether they got it at your get together or not, you are going to feel guilty that it might have happened at your place.

Just a BTDT comment...

 

[missy]

It drives me crazy that the Australian government insists that social distancing is 1.5m (5 feet) whereas everyone else is 6ft! How did they come to their number? I will never know!

From my understanding 6 feet isn't even really sufficient.

Why the '6 Feet Apart' Recommendation May Not Be Enough for COVID-19

Six feet might not be enough to protect you. Here's why.

www.healthline.com

Six foot social-distancing will not always be enough for COVID-19

To avoid COVID-19, keeping a 6-foot social distance is a good rule of thumb. But for plenty of instances, that might not be nearly far enough.

www.sciencenewsforstudents.org

 

[whitewave]

From my understanding 6 feet isn't even really sufficient.

Why the '6 Feet Apart' Recommendation May Not Be Enough for COVID-19

Six feet might not be enough to protect you. Here's why.

www.healthline.com

Six foot social-distancing will not always be enough for COVID-19

To avoid COVID-19, keeping a 6-foot social distance is a good rule of thumb. But for plenty of instances, that might not be nearly far enough.

www.sciencenewsforstudents.org

It’s been clear in recent research that six feet isn’t enough.