Hmm.. don''t like how this guy thinks!

[MissDimity]

Ok my SO''s brother (aged 37) got married in Oct this year to his gf of 2 years. Prior to that he had never lived with a female or had been in a long term relationship. In his brother''s 35th year, he was getting quite depressed with his bad luck with the ladies, that he went on a trip to Brazil ( carting my bf of 6 months) hoping to strike up sexual encounters and flings with Brazilian chicks who he regarded as the ''sexiest chicks in the world''.

None of this happened. But when he came back he was even more desperate to find a lady, so he went to ''Speed Dating'' where he met his future wife, a Vietnamese lovely lady.
They have nothing in common.. he likes sport, she likes being spoilt, he likes fast food, she likes fine dining, he likes the beach and surfing, she can''t even swim.. but never the less they dated for a year and then moved in together for 6 months, he proposed and they were married 5 months later.

However NOW, when he is not with her and with my bf and I (not with her), he is constantly checking out females, woof whistling and flirting with them. We were playing some pool, and he wanted me to invited over a group of girls for him to play against, and chat up.

I think this is wrong... and disgusting. He says, "I like being married.. I can flirt with girls and because I have a ring on, I know that I would think that I am harmless".

I just don''t like his attitude. Are all guys like this once they are married?

 

[AdiS]

Date: 12/20/2008 4:04:14 AM
Author:MissDimity
Ok my SO''s brother (aged 37) got married in Oct this year to his gf of 2 years. Prior to that he had never lived with a female or had been in a long term relationship. In his brother''s 35th year, he was getting quite depressed with his bad luck with the ladies, that he went on a trip to Brazil ( carting my bf of 6 months) hoping to strike up sexual encounters and flings with Brazilian chicks who he regarded as the ''sexiest chicks in the world''.

None of this happened. But when he came back he was even more desperate to find a lady, so he went to ''Speed Dating'' where he met his future wife, a Vietnamese lovely lady.
They have nothing in common.. he likes sport, she likes being spoilt, he likes fast food, she likes fine dining, he likes the beach and surfing, she can''t even swim.. but never the less they dated for a year and then moved in together for 6 months, he proposed and they were married 5 months later.

However NOW, when he is not with her and with my bf and I (not with her), he is constantly checking out females, woof whistling and flirting with them. We were playing some pool, and he wanted me to invited over a group of girls for him to play against, and chat up.

I think this is wrong... and disgusting. He says, ''I like being married.. I can flirt with girls and because I have a ring on, I know that I would think that I am harmless''.

I just don''t like his attitude. Are all guys like this once they are married?

lol. Nope. Just the jerks. But then again, they were probably the same jerks before the wedding so nothing to do with the change of marital status, I think.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 12/20/2008 4:16:37 AM
Author: AdiS

Date: 12/20/2008 4:04:14 AM

Author:MissDimity

Ok my SO''s brother (aged 37) got married in Oct this year to his gf of 2 years. Prior to that he had never lived with a female or had been in a long term relationship. In his brother''s 35th year, he was getting quite depressed with his bad luck with the ladies, that he went on a trip to Brazil ( carting my bf of 6 months) hoping to strike up sexual encounters and flings with Brazilian chicks who he regarded as the ''sexiest chicks in the world''.


None of this happened. But when he came back he was even more desperate to find a lady, so he went to ''Speed Dating'' where he met his future wife, a Vietnamese lovely lady.

They have nothing in common.. he likes sport, she likes being spoilt, he likes fast food, she likes fine dining, he likes the beach and surfing, she can''t even swim.. but never the less they dated for a year and then moved in together for 6 months, he proposed and they were married 5 months later.


However NOW, when he is not with her and with my bf and I (not with her), he is constantly checking out females, woof whistling and flirting with them. We were playing some pool, and he wanted me to invited over a group of girls for him to play against, and chat up.


I think this is wrong... and disgusting. He says, ''I like being married.. I can flirt with girls and because I have a ring on, I know that I would think that I am harmless''.


I just don''t like his attitude. Are all guys like this once they are married?

lol. Nope. Just the jerks. But then again, they were probably the same jerks before the wedding so nothing to do with the change of marital status, I think.

Ditto.

 

[sammyj]

Date: 12/20/2008 8:30:36 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 12/20/2008 4:16:37 AM
Author: AdiS

Date: 12/20/2008 4:04:14 AM

Author:MissDimity

Ok my SO's brother (aged 37) got married in Oct this year to his gf of 2 years. Prior to that he had never lived with a female or had been in a long term relationship. In his brother's 35th year, he was getting quite depressed with his bad luck with the ladies, that he went on a trip to Brazil ( carting my bf of 6 months) hoping to strike up sexual encounters and flings with Brazilian chicks who he regarded as the 'sexiest chicks in the world'.


None of this happened. But when he came back he was even more desperate to find a lady, so he went to 'Speed Dating' where he met his future wife, a Vietnamese lovely lady.

They have nothing in common.. he likes sport, she likes being spoilt, he likes fast food, she likes fine dining, he likes the beach and surfing, she can't even swim.. but never the less they dated for a year and then moved in together for 6 months, he proposed and they were married 5 months later.


However NOW, when he is not with her and with my bf and I (not with her), he is constantly checking out females, woof whistling and flirting with them. We were playing some pool, and he wanted me to invited over a group of girls for him to play against, and chat up.


I think this is wrong... and disgusting. He says, 'I like being married.. I can flirt with girls and because I have a ring on, I know that I would think that I am harmless'.


I just don't like his attitude. Are all guys like this once they are married?

lol. Nope. Just the jerks. But then again, they were probably the same jerks before the wedding so nothing to do with the change of marital status, I think.

Ditto.

Double Ditto! Uggh... where's the gagging emotie??

 

[gwendolyn]

Isn''t it a bit silly to ask if all married men act the same? No one type of any sort of person acts the same across the board, and there are probably quite a few married ladies and gents on the board who don''t really appreciate such a generalization.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 12/20/2008 9:18:07 AM
Author: gwendolyn
Isn't it a bit silly to ask if all married men act the same? No one type of any sort of person acts the same across the board, and there are probably quite a few married ladies and gents on the board who don't really appreciate such a generalization.

I disagree with you here Gwennie. I have been catching up on my seasons of Desperate Housewives, and I have concluded that both men AND women are scandalous and deceptive! Really, really horrible, and marriage is pointless. So there, I said it. watch the show if you don't believe me.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 12/20/2008 9:58:23 AM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 12/20/2008 9:18:07 AM

Author: gwendolyn

Isn''t it a bit silly to ask if all married men act the same? No one type of any sort of person acts the same across the board, and there are probably quite a few married ladies and gents on the board who don''t really appreciate such a generalization.

I disagree with you here Gwennie. I have been catching up on my seasons of Desperate Housewives, and I have concluded that both men AND women are scandalous and deceptive! Really, really horrible, and marriage is pointless. So there, I said it. watch the show if you don''t believe me.

Oh, right, my bad. And we all look just like Eva Longoria too, I forgot.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 12/20/2008 10:17:16 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Author: trillionaire

Date: 12/20/2008 9:18:07 AM




I disagree with you here Gwennie. I have been catching up on my seasons of Desperate Housewives, and I have concluded that both men AND women are scandalous and deceptive! Really, really horrible, and marriage is pointless. So there, I said it. watch the show if you don't believe me.

Oh, right, my bad. And we all look just like Eva Longoria too, I forgot.

I know I do. Well, except I am taller, with longer legs and a perfectly placed beauty mark.

(lol, in reality, SO is always complaining that he doesn't get all the fanfare about Eva L. hehe)

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 12/20/2008 10:30:10 AM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 12/20/2008 10:17:16 AM

Author: gwendolyn
Oh, right, my bad. And we all look just like Eva Longoria too, I forgot.

I know I do. Well, except I am taller, with longer legs and a perfectly placed beauty mark.

(lol, in reality, SO is always complaining that he doesn''t get all the fanfare about Eva L. hehe)

Hahah! I don''t really get the hype either, honestly--I used her name because I don''t watch the show but know she''s in it.

 

[CNOS128]

I read the "are all guys like this" question as being rhetorical. But like AdiS said, this guy was trolling for casual sex before marriage, so it''s not as if something''s changed!

If I were in that situation and it made me uncomfortable, I might try avoid spending time with the guy. He doesn''t sound like he''s much fun to be around if he''s always trying to pick up women.

But all that aside, all married (and non-married) couples are different, and some have the understanding that it''s okay to stray. That''s not necessarily your SO''s brother''s situation, but it''s a possibility. I always find it amazing what goes on behind closed doors and what some people''s relationships a really like!

 

[HollyS]

So he finally ''got him some'', married it out of desperation, and is now bored with her ''cause he''s basically had no variety, which he obviously wants . . . does that pretty much sum it up? He has every intention of cheating on his spouse. Every. Intention.

 

[happydreams]

Agreed - This guy sounds like he chose her out of desperation (why else would you choose someone you have NOTHING in common with?) and now is trying to make up for the lost bachelor life he never really had. He most likely wasn''t ready for a committment, but married her anyway because he wanted to have some sort of cushion. That way when he gets rejected at bars/etc, he can say to himself/others "I''m married, I can''t do anything anyway". But if he had an opportunity, he would go for it in a heartbeat. His attitude is also very disrespectful towards his wife - I wouldn''t stand for it at all.

ps. Eva Longoria has a really great wedding band.

 

[Tuckins1]

My husband would never do that. In fact, he and I would probably bust a gut together watching this sad and pathetic attempt to be "cool" or "a playa".

 

[musey]

Date: 12/20/2008 4:04:14 AM
Author:MissDimity
I think this is wrong... and disgusting. He says, ''I like being married.. I can flirt with girls and because I have a ring on, I know that I would think that I am harmless''.

I just don''t like his attitude. Are all guys like this once they are married?

Um... no? Lol. You''re joking, right? ''All guys'' aren''t like anything, they''re different just like all people are different.

I know that none of the married men I know are like that

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 12/20/2008 4:04:14 AM
Author:MissDimity

I just don''t like his attitude. Are all guys like this once they are married?

No.

And don''t think that your bf will be like this just because his brother is that way either.

 

[MissDimity]

Just adding to my thoughts on his brother.
My boyfriend sends him an SMS asking him what he wants as a present for Xmas and his brother responds:
" a ''Surf Dive and Ski store voucher, a wok for a gas stove or 2 tasty blondes who like a married man".

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 12/22/2008 10:28:34 PM
Author: MissDimity
Just adding to my thoughts on his brother.
My boyfriend sends him an SMS asking him what he wants as a present for Xmas and his brother responds:
' a 'Surf Dive and Ski store voucher, a wok for a gas stove or 2 tasty blondes who like a married man'.

only 2 ??....well, at least your BF knows his limit.

 

[*Danielle*]

He sounds like a pig, both before and after the wedding

 

[allycat0303]

I don't know. Maybe he is just being silly? I know some married men that talk and talk and talk, but there's no action. Really they say all sorts of things "I would get with that, if the ball and shackle didn't know" etc. Except they don't really do anything. They just talk to look macho in front of their friends. Or maybe it's because no woman would go out with them. I don't take a lot of stock into what men say when they are with other men. My favorite line from some book was when a guy said "let's get together, have a beer and tell sexual lies."

I do wonder why you mentioned the whole Vietnamese woman thing though (ethnicity wise)...I mean I am Vietnamese, and my guy is caucasian. I think a lot of people will argue that my fiance and I have NOTHING in common.

He loves hockey, and sports, I loathed all team sports.
I am a bookworm, he has read half a book this year.
I am intellectual and want to know everything about everything, he couldn't care less about anything that doesn't involve sport statistics.
I'm quiet, he's outgoing.
He loves to go out, I love to stay home.

And I would agree we have nothing in common, but I really don't think it says anything about our relationship. It probably doesn't make sense to a lot of people. But we fit together, so I hesitate to make judgments on people's relationship because of "lack of things in common". Unless you wanted to point out she was a mail-order bride or had some ulterior motive for marrying your brother-in-law?

And finally, no not all guys are like that. Some men are very respectful when they address their wives. And some tell me so many outlandish stories of things they have done to disrespect their SO that I KNOW IT IS JUST TALK. i.e the guy that was laughing because he *pretended to propose with an empty box because he knew his GF was desperate to get married and he wanted to show her it would never happen* OKAY. Yes buddy. You are the man. You rule the roost. And yes, you did buy your dog a chihuahua because she wanted one even though you HATE DOGS. AND yes, that is you carrying the dog around in the knock-off Louis Vuitton dog bag.

When I have attended post-hockey drinks, I would hear all sorts of things. Usually I am the only girl and a silent wallflower, so I've heard a lot of this talk. I would go home and think it was terrible and that so and so didn't love their girlfriend, but my guy would laugh and say, when the guy gets home he's really in love with his girlfriend and it's a silly front. And my fiance sees it as a silly front. As a matter of fact, all the guys at the table know it's just talk, and they all still do it.