Help! How to handle situation with my photographer

[ImperfectGirl]

Hello all!

I have a situation that I could use a little advice about. I apologize in advance since it's a little long.

I contacted a photographer in early March to do a boudoir photo shoot for my husband as an anniversary gift. I found that she had couple good reviews on yelp, loved her portfolio from her website and felt comfortable after talking to her on the phone. She sent me her client packet with lots of great info and about a week later we settled on a tentative date (1st weekend in May) for the shoot pending confirmation of availability by the hair stylist and makeup artist. About 3 weeks before the shoot, I reached out to her via email to confirm the date as I wanted to schedule a few appointments ahead of the day (haircut, waxing, etc.). A week goes by without a response. In that week, I also called her and left a voicemail. A few days later, she responds that the date is set so I book my appointments. She apologizes for not getting back to me sooner and said she had had oral surgery and was out of it for a while due to pain meds.

The photo shoot is now a week away and I realized that the photographer hadn't given me a time or the location of her studio. I needed to arrange childcare as my husband was TDY so I emailed her 1 week prior to the shoot to ask for the studio address and time of the appointment. She never responded despite my follow up call and text. I emailed her the evening before the appointment expressing some disappointment in her lack of communication. I let her know that I needed to cancel because my babysitter had been on hold waiting for me to confirm what time I needed her and that was unfair to keep her in limbo when she wanted to make plans and she was waiting for me. And, I had no idea where her studio was and I was to drive there in less than 24 hrs. She responded to my email the day of the appointment saying that her website was having technical issues and wasn't delivering her emails. This doesn't explain why she didn't respond to my text or call. She apologized and offered me a free photo album and to bring in someone to watch my daughter if I could still make it that afternoon. I said no. We rescheduled for 2 weeks out. I clarified with her via email that the new date would leave enough time to get my completed album back by a certain date (my wedding anniversary) which she has known all along. She said yes, there would be enough time.

The day of the photo shoot arrives and all goes well. She had a very nice set up with wine, fruit, cheese, some sweets, and made me feel comfortable in person. The hair stylist and makeup artist were both very nice and once they completed their tasks, they left to give us privacy. The photo shoot itself was fun. I had a great time and I loved the few images she showed me right after. Before I left she asked me to sign a contract and we settled on a date for me to come back for an ordering session where I would choose the images I wanted to go into the album.

The day before the ordering session, she sends me a text saying that her husband's aunt is brain dead and asks if she can upload the images to a private gallery in lieu of an in-person ordering session. She said she would email me once they were available to view. I expressed my condolences and said that the online gallery would be more convenient for me as well. Maybe I was incorrect in assuming, but I still assumed that the images would have been uploaded by the date of the ordering session. She never said that she wasn't finished editing or that the family situation was causing her to need more time. At any rate, that is what I assumed so I didn't say anything when I didn't hear from her in over a week. Finally, I emailed her on Wednesday (6/4/14) asking about the status my photos.

We are coming down to the wire and my anniversary is now 1 week away. She has not yet responded.

Any suggestions on what should I do? Obviously, I want my photos as this is my husband's gift. I feel bad for emailing her when her family is going through a hard time but at the same time, she is running a business and has never indicated that my album would be late. The contract I signed on the day of the shoot says that editing takes 4 weeks and we are not yet to that 4 week mark so technically she isn't in breach of contract yet although I have a few emails specifying my anniversary and her saying that everything would be ready by then.

Thanks so much for reading and I appreciate any advice!

 

[momhappy]

Personally, I'd demand better customer service ASAP. Remind her about the breach of contract, etc. It sounds like she has one excuse after another (everything from oral surgery, to technical web site problems, to a possible death in the family?). If my husband's aunt died, he would still have to run our business. Period. You've given this woman far too many "passes" already. Despite what goes on in her personal life, she still has a business to run.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Personally, I'd demand better customer service ASAP. Remind her about the breach of contract, etc. It sounds like she has one excuse after another (everything from oral surgery, to technical web site problems, to a possible death in the family?). If my husband's aunt died, he would still have to run our business. Period. You've given this woman far too many "passes" already. Despite what goes on in her personal life, she still has a business to run.

I agree with you momhappy. In the most recent email I sent her last week, I did demand better customer service. I let her know that I was not a happy customer and her lack of communication was unacceptable. I also let her know that I will not recommend her to my 3 friends who also want to do a similar photo shoot.

I'm thinking of driving over to her studio if I don't hear from her in a few days. Unfortunately, her studio is only open if she has an appointment so I have no idea if I'd find her there...

 

[NewShiny]

Personally, I'd demand better customer service ASAP. Remind her about the breach of contract, etc. It sounds like she has one excuse after another (everything from oral surgery, to technical web site problems, to a possible death in the family?). If my husband's aunt died, he would still have to run our business. Period. You've given this woman far too many "passes" already. Despite what goes on in her personal life, she still has a business to run.

This. Sadly, this is pretty much an everyday occurrence in the photography community. I'm just a hobbyist, but I read the boards in various places pretty much daily. I don't know how much you paid her, but it's usually a case of "you get what you pay for." Luckily at least there was a contract in this situation. Unluckily for you, she isn't in breach of it (yet), because it hasn't been 4 weeks with undelivered images. I would just keep doing what you are doing in terms of trying to contact her. Good luck and I hope you get them in time! Next time, try to get a personal referral from someone who has used the photographer before. It's usually the best way to avoid these types of situations.

 

[momhappy]

^How frustrating for you! I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. I would keep calling her/leaving messages - bug the heck out of her until she responds. Driving over there is a good idea too, but like you said, you'd want to know if she was going to be there.

 

[movie zombie]

you've told her that she has lost you as a good referral. she has nothing to motivate her to respond to you now other than the contract date at which time she is still in compliance. personally, I don't make that kind of announcement about referrals, etc. until after I have whatever I contracted for in hand.

she may actually be going through a very rough time when everything seems and does go wrong.
shit does happen.
however, she is running a business and even in adversity a business owner has responsibilities.
she may be overwhelmed.
she may make the contract date.

personally? I'd be pissed. but I think I'd get back in touch with her stating I was angry when I send the "no referral to girlfriends" message and that I need reassurance that you will have the pictures by x date and that those pictures will be complete from her end as agreed upon.

I'd also get a back up plan in progress.....

and I'd be prepared to be further pissed off if the pictures do show up on the agreed upon date but are not touched up/completed per the contract.

did you pay her with a credit card? if so and she is in breach of contract, you can file a dispute and get your $ back.

check for her business license: should have her real name and you may be able to find her that way.

just my random thoughts and reactions.....

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Personally, I'd demand better customer service ASAP. Remind her about the breach of contract, etc. It sounds like she has one excuse after another (everything from oral surgery, to technical web site problems, to a possible death in the family?). If my husband's aunt died, he would still have to run our business. Period. You've given this woman far too many "passes" already. Despite what goes on in her personal life, she still has a business to run.

This. Sadly, this is pretty much an everyday occurrence in the photography community. I'm just a hobbyist, but I read the boards in various places pretty much daily. I don't know how much you paid her, but it's usually a case of "you get what you pay for." Luckily at least there was a contract in this situation. Unluckily for you, she isn't in breach of it (yet), because it hasn't been 4 weeks with undelivered images. I would just keep doing what you are doing in terms of trying to contact her. Good luck and I hope you get them in time! Next time, try to get a personal referral from someone who has used the photographer before. It's usually the best way to avoid these types of situations.

Thanks for responding NewShiny. I did pay her a pretty good amount (. She is definitely not the cheapest in my city. You are so right, a personal referral is best and I've definitely learned my lesson.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

you've told her that she has lost you as a good referral. she has nothing to motivate her to respond to you now other than the contract date at which time she is still in compliance. personally, I don't make that kind of announcement about referrals, etc. until after I have whatever I contracted for in hand.

she may actually be going through a very rough time when everything seems and does go wrong.
shit does happen.
however, she is running a business and even in adversity a business owner has responsibilities.
she may be overwhelmed.
she may make the contract date.

personally? I'd be pissed. but I think I'd get back in touch with her stating I was angry when I send the "no referral to girlfriends" message and that I need reassurance that you will have the pictures by x date and that those pictures will be complete from her end as agreed upon.

I'd also get a back up plan in progress.....

and I'd be prepared to be further pissed off if the pictures do show up on the agreed upon date but are not touched up/completed per the contract.

did you pay her with a credit card? if so and she is in breach of contract, you can file a dispute and get your $ back.

check for her business license: should have her real name and you may be able to find her that way.

just my random thoughts and reactions.....

Hi MovieZombie...I definitely sent her the email saying she'd lost me as a referral out of anger. I later had the same thought you did, and now I regret it because like you said, she has no motivation to deliver although it seems she didn't have any before I sent the email. I am fearful of receiving my images, untouched, out of retaliation.

I did pay with a credit card, thankfully. I guess I'll just wait to see if she breaches the contract. And I'm absolutely working on a back up plan for my husband's gift. Thank you for letting me know your thoughts.

 

[Indylady]

I think she probably doesn't care to speed up the process because 1) she's mourning 2) you've already written her an email that says you're unhappy with her service and won't be recommending her. I see where you're coming from--she has not been communicative with you, over and over again. Her inability to communicate with you sooner caused you both a lot of problems.

However, personally, though, I would not cancel the credit card transaction or report her to the BBB. I would be compassionate to her in the face of a death in her family, and weigh that above my SO's need for an anniversary present. Small business owners have to face both life and work together; bigger businesses don't have to deal with that, because they have the resources to avoid it. For a bigger business, yes, I would be much more demanding. For a smaller business, even though it is a business, I would be more sympathetic. Life happens sometimes. I have no idea how close she is to that family member, but there are some people in the world that I love very dearly, and would be heartbroken to lose. I would lean towards empathy.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

I think she probably doesn't care to speed up the process because 1) she's mourning 2) you've already written her an email that says you're unhappy with her service and won't be recommending her. I see where you're coming from--she has not been communicative with you, over and over again. Her inability to communicate with you sooner caused you both a lot of problems.

However, personally, though, I would not cancel the credit card transaction or report her to the BBB. I would be compassionate to her in the face of a death in her family, and weigh that above my SO's need for an anniversary present. Small business owners have to face both life and work together; bigger businesses don't have to deal with that, because they have the resources to avoid it. For a bigger business, yes, I would be much more demanding. For a smaller business, even though it is a business, I would be more sympathetic. Life happens sometimes. I have no idea how close she is to that family member, but there are some people in the world that I love very dearly, and would be heartbroken to lose. I would lean towards empathy.

Thanks for weighing in IndyLady. I should note, that while I'm thankful I have paid with a credit card, I have no intention at this time to cancel the transaction or report her to the BBB. I am going to wait out the time agreed to in the contract (another week). If I've still receive zero communication from her up to that point, I'll decide what action to take. If she communicates with me and delivers the product I paid for, I will not take those steps.

And my SO doesn't have a need for an anniversary present, I have a want to give him one.

 

[Indylady]

I think she probably doesn't care to speed up the process because 1) she's mourning 2) you've already written her an email that says you're unhappy with her service and won't be recommending her. I see where you're coming from--she has not been communicative with you, over and over again. Her inability to communicate with you sooner caused you both a lot of problems.

However, personally, though, I would not cancel the credit card transaction or report her to the BBB. I would be compassionate to her in the face of a death in her family, and weigh that above my SO's need for an anniversary present. Small business owners have to face both life and work together; bigger businesses don't have to deal with that, because they have the resources to avoid it. For a bigger business, yes, I would be much more demanding. For a smaller business, even though it is a business, I would be more sympathetic. Life happens sometimes. I have no idea how close she is to that family member, but there are some people in the world that I love very dearly, and would be heartbroken to lose. I would lean towards empathy.

Thanks for weighing in IndyLady. I should note, that while I'm thankful I have paid with a credit card, I have no intention at this time to cancel the transaction or report her to the BBB. I am going to wait out the time agreed to in the contract (another week). If I've still receive zero communication from her up to that point, I'll decide what action to take. If she communicates with me and delivers the product I paid for, I will not take those steps.

And my SO doesn't have a need for an anniversary present, I have a want to give him one.

And of course, congrats on your anniversary . I

I also wanted to add that when I wrote "I think she probably doesn't care to speed up the process because 1) she's mourning 2) you've already written her an email that says you're unhappy with her service and won't be recommending her."--I did not mean that as any justification of her actions or irresponsibility, at all. She is at fault; I don't disagree about that at all.

 

[momhappy]

I think she probably doesn't care to speed up the process because 1) she's mourning 2) you've already written her an email that says you're unhappy with her service and won't be recommending her. I see where you're coming from--she has not been communicative with you, over and over again. Her inability to communicate with you sooner caused you both a lot of problems.

However, personally, though, I would not cancel the credit card transaction or report her to the BBB. I would be compassionate to her in the face of a death in her family, and weigh that above my SO's need for an anniversary present. Small business owners have to face both life and work together; bigger businesses don't have to deal with that, because they have the resources to avoid it. For a bigger business, yes, I would be much more demanding. For a smaller business, even though it is a business, I would be more sympathetic. Life happens sometimes. I have no idea how close she is to that family member, but there are some people in the world that I love very dearly, and would be heartbroken to lose. I would lean towards empathy.

But the issue occurred long before the family death (if in fact it was a family death?). First, it was technical/web site problems, then it was oral surgery….. One thing after another. Even when my husband lost his father, he was still able to return personal and professional phone calls, texts, emails, etc. I am a small business owner myself (and so is my husband) and despite the fact "life happens" sometimes, you still have to maintain a "business as usual" mentality or you risk losing customers/business.

 

[Indylady]

I think she probably doesn't care to speed up the process because 1) she's mourning 2) you've already written her an email that says you're unhappy with her service and won't be recommending her. I see where you're coming from--she has not been communicative with you, over and over again. Her inability to communicate with you sooner caused you both a lot of problems.

However, personally, though, I would not cancel the credit card transaction or report her to the BBB. I would be compassionate to her in the face of a death in her family, and weigh that above my SO's need for an anniversary present. Small business owners have to face both life and work together; bigger businesses don't have to deal with that, because they have the resources to avoid it. For a bigger business, yes, I would be much more demanding. For a smaller business, even though it is a business, I would be more sympathetic. Life happens sometimes. I have no idea how close she is to that family member, but there are some people in the world that I love very dearly, and would be heartbroken to lose. I would lean towards empathy.

But the issue occurred long before the family death (if in fact it was a family death?). First, it was technical/web site problems, then it was oral surgery….. One thing after another. Even when my husband lost his father, he was still able to return personal and professional phone calls, texts, emails, etc. I am a small business owner myself (and so is my husband) and despite the fact "life happens" sometimes, you still have to maintain a "business as usual" mentality or you risk losing customers/business.

I agree that she is at fault. I still lean towards empathy, though.

 

[momhappy]

^And empathy is a wonderful thing to have, so I agree. However, this really isn't about who's at fault/who's to blame - it's about running a business. Her customer service has been terrible (before and after the death of a family member) and OP has been more than accommodating thus far. At this point, I would demand completion of the project or a full refund.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Thanks for the advice, everyone! The photographer emailed the link to my online gallery last night. No explanation, just the link and ordering instructions, and that's fine. I'm just glad to have them at this point. And I love them.

 

[AGBF]

Hi, IG-

I just saw this thread for the first time and read it all the way through. I am glad matters are satisfactorily resolved now. I never heard of "boudoir photo shoots" before, but I only recently learned about the photo shoots for newborns that have to be done in the first ten days of life (I think it's ten) and I really love those now!

Deb/AGBF
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

 

[movie zombie]

Thanks for the advice, everyone! The photographer emailed the link to my online gallery last night. No explanation, just the link and ordering instructions, and that's fine. I'm just glad to have them at this point. And I love them.

and now is an excellent time for a display of empathy: if not already done, please send her an e-mail telling her you apologize for the angry e-mails, how much you appreciate receiving the online gallery, how much you love them, and that an order will follow promptly. tell her you appreciate her acknowledging your own deadline despite all the real life issues she's had. tell her that you loved the experience in the studio and it shows in the pictures. tell her you will definitely recommend her your friends.

imo, the woman is trying. if her work is good, well, sometimes you have to just be honest that you did receive value for $ and when you recommend her to friends you can talk of your frustration BUT that the work was good and the contract was indeed kept.

because despite everything the contract is being kept!

 

[Indylady]

Glad to hear its resolved!

 

[momhappy]

Thanks for the advice, everyone! The photographer emailed the link to my online gallery last night. No explanation, just the link and ordering instructions, and that's fine. I'm just glad to have them at this point. And I love them.

and now is an excellent time for a display of empathy: if not already done, please send her an e-mail telling her you apologize for the angry e-mails, how much you appreciate receiving the online gallery, how much you love them, and that an order will follow promptly. tell her you appreciate her acknowledging your own deadline despite all the real life issues she's had. tell her that you loved the experience in the studio and it shows in the pictures. tell her you will definitely recommend her your friends.

imo, the woman is trying. if her work is good, well, sometimes you have to just be honest that you did receive value for $ and when you recommend her to friends you can talk of your frustration BUT that the work was good and the contract was indeed kept.

because despite everything the contract is being kept!

I disagree. A nice, short email with a "thank you" and an "I'm sorry for your loss" is sufficient, but I would never recommend a business that I didn't believe in to my friends and/or family. Overall, It doesn't sound like OP loved the experience (or at least many parts of it), so why would she refer her? You don't recommend a business because you feel sorry for them - you recommend a business because they do a good job all around. Business owners have to deal with the same sort of life events that we all have to deal with, but it's not an excuse to provide bad customer service (remember, the poor customer service/communication began well before the death in the family).
Anyways, so glad to hear that you can finally place your order, OP! I hope that he loves your gift

 

[movie zombie]

why?
because ultimately the woman did keep the contract AND I was pleased with the work.
I don't tend to hold a grudge and if at the end of the day I got what I wanted and it was within the framework of the contract, well, the terms were met. why would I penalize someone for doing what they said they would? sure, lack of communication AND stress on my part....but re that stress: my problem, not hers.

yes, I'd make the referral because the session was fun and the pictures exactly what I was looking for.
but I would tell my friends my story so they can make the decision for themselves: great session, great photos but when I did business with her she had a lot of things going on and communication wasn't the greatest....yet she kept her contract.

each to their own.

 

[momhappy]

This isn't about grudges or penalties - it's about business. A referral is earned, not given. If a business does a good job, then they can expect a referral for a job well done. If not, well, then they know to correct what went wrong so that they can do a better job the next time. Lying to a business about how you'll definitely be referring them to all of your friends (when you're not) isn't doing them any favors IMO.
In the end, you're right - to each their own

 

[movie zombie]

I don't feel "sorry" for the business owner.
I think she tried and she did pull it together.
this is what I respect and expect from a business owner.

again, each to their own; you do things your way, i'll do mine my way.
no right, no wrong, imo.
and the OP will make her own decisions weighing consequences for herself.

 

[momhappy]

^Agreed - which is exactly why I said that you're right about to each their own