Help Addressing the Inner Envelope

[Class n Sass]

I am putting together a list for my printer to address my envelopes. I am having a bit of conflict regarding the addressing of the inner envelope. For a single woman that is the being invited with a guest the outer envelope for her would say "Ms. Jane Doe."
According to all the etiquette books out there they tell you that the inner should then be addressed as "Ms. Doe and Guest" Since I know the name of her guest(it''s her fiance) should I put his name on the inner envelope? "Ms. Doe and Mr. Frost"

 

[zoebartlett]

Well, I''m not sure about proper etiquette but if I were doing it, I''d have it exactly as you described (with the female guest''s FI''s name listed on the inner envelope). Why wouldn''t you put his name on the outer envelope as well? Just curious.

I think if it was someone''s boyfriend, I''d put "and guest" but since it''s a FI, I''d write out the name. I know others will chime in -- Cara and Haven have a pretty fabulous sense of what''s proper etiquette. Hopefully they''ll see this.

 

[Class n Sass]

Well I have a wedding organizer book that I bought a year ago at B&N. It says that for an unmarried woman that is coming with a guest that his name does not need to go on the outer. Actually it doesn''t say that his name should go anywhere. He shoudl be referred to as "guest"

 

[cara]

The most strict wedding etiquette is that one only issues invitations to known guests for something as personal as one's wedding, and that invitations are sent to a guest's primary residence. The "and guest" invention is a modern courtesy and not technically correct.

The most proper approach would be to track down this guy's address and issue him a separate invitation, assuming he lives elsewhere. If they live together then you issue the invitation to them both, listing both names on the outer and inner envelopes, but not on the same lines.

For cases in which we were close to both halves of a non-cohabiting couple, we tracked down both addresses.

When the "separate residence" of one half of the couple was really a fiction, we addressed a joint invitation to address of the primary guest.

But for the few cases in which we really were inviting a single person and their (known) date, we did your last suggestion and addressed the outer envelope to the primary guest and named both the guest and their date on the inner envelope.

Not claiming this is perfectly correct...

ETA: Would you be OK if Ms. Doe substituted her sister for her fiance in her reply? That is also something to think about in issuing generic invitations.

 

[Haven]

Date: 3/5/2008 9:10:01 PM
Author: cara
The most strict wedding etiquette is that one only issues invitations to known guests for something as personal as one''s wedding, and that invitations are sent to a guest''s primary residence. The ''and guest'' invention is a modern courtesy and not technically correct.


The most proper approach would be to track down this guy''s address and issue him a separate invitation, assuming he lives elsewhere. If they live together then you issue the invitation to them both, listing both names on the outer and inner envelopes, but not on the same lines.


For cases in which we were close to both halves of a non-cohabiting couple, we tracked down both addresses.


When the ''separate residence'' of one half of the couple was really a fiction, we addressed a joint invitation to address of the primary guest.


But for the few cases in which we really were inviting a single person and their (known) date, we did your last suggestion and addressed the outer envelope to the primary guest and named both the guest and their date on the inner envelope.


Not claiming this is perfectly correct...


ETA: Would you be OK if Ms. Doe substituted her sister for her fiance in her reply? That is also something to think about in issuing generic invitations.

What Cara said--her advice is absolutely correct, and I would also warn against inviting any "and guests" unless you don''t mind if your old college pal brings her latest flavor of the week to the wedding with her so he can party it up on your tab.

Also, it is incorrect to address the outer envelope to "and guest" or a significant other who does not live with the invitee, that is reserved for the inner, only. However, as Cara said, I would send a separate invite to the significant other, as well.

 

[Class n Sass]

Haven''s note about bring the latest flavor of the week is the exact reason I didn''t want to go with the advice from the book I have and use the word guest. Thanks for the info ladies!