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He MIGHT Propose This Christmas

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TheNextMrsB

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Congratulations on the recent engagements!

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Now I need to talk about my anxiety.


It has always been my fantasy to be proposed to around Christmas, and my BF knows this. Lately, he''s been dropping hints that I could recieve a proposal this Christmas, and then he dropped a huge, confirmation hint on Saturday night. However, I know he hasn''t completely made up his mind one way or the other, and now I''m like AAHHH! This is my dream proposal, and it''s been dangled in front of my face like a carrot in front of a horse. This feeling that I have a 50/50 chance of having the proposal I''ve wanted since before I met him is driving me crazy! I''m also feeling anxious because if he doesn''t propose, I''m going to be more than just upset-I''m going to think, "wow, that was awful cruel of him to get my hopes up like that." Besides that, I now feel like I have to completely refrain from any and all comments or questions concerning weddings, engagements, marriage, etc. We haven''t even talked about rings, let alone been shopping, and now I''m going to wake up everyday wondering if today is the day he''ll start talking, and I''m going to be waiting for him to bring it up all day long. There''s the added fact that I know him well enough to know that if he''s not ready this Christmas, he won''t want to wait another year for next Christmas. Of course I would love his proposal no matter what the details were, but I can''t help but feel like I have a lot riding on this, now. I was feeling ok, but now I''m SO ANXIOUS! I just want it to be Christmas so I can know if it''s going to happen or not. This thought that it''s a real possibility, but it might not happen-I''m freaking out. My muscles are tensing up as I write this!
The worst part is that he cannot, under any circumstances, know what a big deal this is to me. If he did, there is a small but definite chance that he would propose without being ready, and obviously, that would not be any good for anyone. I have a feeling that I may be on this forum a lot for the next 152 days (yes, I counted).
I just needed to tell someone.
 

vita*dolce

Brilliant_Rock
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Jul 15, 2008
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wow -- so i have the same fantasy and my boyfriend has been dropping the same hints.. so i definitely understand how you''re feeling. i have definitely tried to show my approval of that idea without being too forward, but it''s so hard!! if he mentions it again, try to show him how much you like that idea and how much it would mean to you without being too pushy.

either way, it sounds like it''s coming soon!!
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try not to let it make you too crazy!! neither of us are giong to get our dream proposals if we''re institutionalized between now and then!!
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purrfectpear

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You guys DO realize you don''t have to sit around like passive ninnies having anxiety attacks, right?

I mean if I had a BF that was dropping "hints" I would look him straight in the eye and say "I don''t like the idea of getting my hopes up if you are just running ideas up the flagpole for a reaction. I appreciate that this is a serious subject, so when you are ready to talk about it let me know - in the mean time, let''s not drop hints that could be misunderstood, OK?"

Then smile sweetly and go on about your life. He''ll either have the talk or he''ll shut up. Both would be preferable to dangling IMO.
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funtobewith

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Date: 7/28/2008 11:57:48 AM
Author: purrfectpear
You guys DO realize you don''t have to sit around like passive ninnies having anxiety attacks, right?

I mean if I had a BF that was dropping ''hints'' I would look him straight in the eye and say ''I don''t like the idea of getting my hopes up if you are just running ideas up the flagpole for a reaction. I appreciate that this is a serious subject, so when you are ready to talk about it let me know - in the mean time, let''s not drop hints that could be misunderstood, OK?''

Then smile sweetly and go on about your life. He''ll either have the talk or he''ll shut up. Both would be preferable to dangling IMO.
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Perfect!!!
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Dreamgirl

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I really do hope it will happen for you!! Just try your best to stay calm about it. (I know, its hard!) I would definitely say something the next time he brings it up. You don''t have to go overboard (like I usully do, or did, or Im trying to stop anyway HA!)
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absolut_blonde

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I would also love a Christmas proposal, so I can sympathize! I''ve been dropping hints about it, but financially it''s unlikely that I will get one this Christmas (and I definitely don''t want to wait til NEXT Christmas!). It''s tough. I''m truly not sure whether I''d have a more precise timeline or not. As it stands, it''s a bit free floating, which is maddening in some ways but having a clear-cut timeline would also be nervewracking in its own way.
 

TheNextMrsB

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Jul 20, 2008
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As it turns out, he was just blowing smoke. The earliest he''d consider proposing is April.
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purrfectpear

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Date: 7/29/2008 2:08:34 PM
Author: TheNextMrsB
As it turns out, he was just blowing smoke. The earliest he''d consider proposing is April.
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Well the next time he feels like blowing smoke tell him "talk is cheap, but rings are not"
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(then feel free to kick him in the shins under the table)
 

Keepingthefaith21

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Date: 7/29/2008 2:08:34 PM
Author: TheNextMrsB
As it turns out, he was just blowing smoke. The earliest he''d consider proposing is April.
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Awww I am so sorry this happened! At least he is thinking of proposing and he seems to have an idea of a general timeline - those are two things some LIW''s long for!
 

radiantquest

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i personally wouldnt prefer a christmas propsal, but can understand the concept. christmas is soon and so far at the same time. my C keeps making comments too, although one that he caught started like "you could have had it already..." and then stopped there. he said i will have it by the end of the year so that sounds like it could be christmas to me. wouldnt it be nice if all us "christmas girls" got to congratulate each other!!!
 

radiantquest

Ideal_Rock
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i just read the bottom. well it may be better because it might really be a surprise. sometimes boys are sneaky and can throw you off the scent. dont dispair. i have good feelings about it
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vita*dolce

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i second purrfect''s shin-kicking motion. sorry you got all excited just to get let down
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maybe next christmas will bring better luck!!
 
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