he got the ring 2 months ago-but I''m still waiting

[Kristie76]

Hi All,
I''m in need of supporting and advices on what to do with my current situation.
My boyfriend of 3 yrs (we currently live together) had bought an engagement ring for me in early May. I picked the setting and he bought the rock. He went and had it set in and had it appraised. Everything is set and I tried on the ring many times. However, he hasn''t propose yet. I thought he was going to propse on my birthday, which was May 24th, but he didn''t. We went on a llong weekend beach vacation, which I thought he was going to propose there. But it didn''t happen.
As time passes by, I get frustrated and stressed out, to a point that I can''t get it out of my head that he''s backing out. I''ve mentioned my feelings to him many many times, and he said he understand. But all he kept asking me is "to wait". He kept saying..it''ll be soon, please just wait a little.
I''m running out of patience and his "waiting" game is driving me insane.
What can I do? I don''t know what goes in his head because he did not have a good explation to why he keeps putting it on hold. His excuse is that he''s waiting for that special moment. But there were several special moments (my bday, beach vacation, ect) that have passed and yet nothing.
My friend suggests me to do the proposing. I don''t know about this though. I was thinking of giving him ultimatum, but I''m not sure about this either.
What should I do? I''m so anxious and confused, and somewhat hurt from waiting. I feel somewhat hopeless.
Anyone had this experience?
Thank you.

 

[bronniejade]

I feel your pain!
We picked out a ring in January.
I have felt very anxious and excited...then it turned into frustration, because I didn't understand why he was taking so long.
He explained it to me and it actually makes sense.
He said that I was so involved with the picking of the ring, so the ring is not really a surprise anymore. So, he has it in his head to make the proposal as special as he can. I appreciate the fact that he loves me so much and wants to make it perfect. I keep trying to remember that the proposal is also about him, and I know he takes great pleasure in creating a magical moment.
Try to just remember that he loves you, you have a beautiful ring just waiting to be placed on your finger. The proposal is a big deal to him, and he wants to make sure he does it right.
Take comfort in the fact that you have found your partner and he has the ring.
Try not to be hurt - be excited that he is working so hard to make the proposal perfect. He has a particular vision of what he wants, and its best to just relax and let him do his thing.
He'll do it when he's ready. Just remember - he loves you enough to want to marry you, to have bought a ring and to want to make it a moment that you will never forget.

 

[luckystar112]

I definitely would NOT give him an ultimatum.
He already has the ring! You already know he loves you! You already know it is going to happen!

I''m sorry to be so frank...but you need to stop whining and just be PATIENT!

I know it must be driving you insane, but you really need to let him have this moment. It''s not like he''s had the ring for six months...he''s had it for a few weeks.

You are RUINING this for yourself! Sit back, relax, and enjoy the suspense. (I know it''s easier said than done.) It won''t be much longer!!!!!

 

[Kristie76]

Thanks guys for your reply.
You are right. Maybe I''m the one who''s driving myself crazy! I guess having friends who couldn''t wait to propose to their gfs the day they got the ring make me more uneased. But everyone is different. I hope he''s planning something special and not trying to put it off.

 

[bee*]

Date: 6/11/2007 1:57:23 PM
Author: luckystar112
I definitely would NOT give him an ultimatum.

He already has the ring! You already know he loves you! You already know it is going to happen!


I''m sorry to be so frank...but you need to stop whining and just be PATIENT!

I know it must be driving you insane, but you really need to let him have this moment. It''s not like he''s had the ring for six months...he''s had it for a few weeks.


You are RUINING this for yourself! Sit back, relax, and enjoy the suspense. (I know it''s easier said than done.) It won''t be much longer!!!!!

I agree. Much as it is frustrating, let him do his thing the way he wants to do it.It will be worth it in the end when he does it

 

[Kristie76]

BeBelle,
has he proposed yet?

 

[bronniejade]

No, he has not proposed yet.

 

[Stephanie]

It sounds like he is really trying to make this very special and surprising for you. And that''s hard to do when you live together and share all that time (my bf and I have lived together for five years - it''s impossible to surprise him!) Try not to get wrapped up in the "when will this happen," instead be excited that you have a man that loves you and want to marry you! He''s already futher along than my bf - we just started shopping after seven and a half years of dating!

Hopefully you will have an amazing story to post here (along with some great ring shots) "girl" soon..

 

[neatfreak]

He''s just trying to make it special. Although if he''s anything like MY fiance, the more you bug him the longer the wait will be! So try to be quiet, and be patient.

IT WILL HAPPEN SOON!!!

 

[Kristie76]

Thank you all.
neatfreak, he did say "the more I ask him the longer he will take to propose". guys are just weird

j/k.
It is, however, a great challenge to be patient about this.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 6/11/2007 4:07:01 PM
Author: Kristie76
Thank you all.

neatfreak, he did say ''the more I ask him the longer he will take to propose''. guys are just weird

j/k.

It is, however, a great challenge to be patient about this.

Lol. Guys ARE weird. But heed his warning. Remember, for many men, this is one of the most important days of their lives. Let him savor it and do it when he''s ready. He will don''t you worry!!!

And PS is a GREAT place to come and vent if you''re getting antsy.

 

[CrookedRock]

I couldn''t help but chuckle whe I read you little story! Not in a mean way though, but in a "geesh, I can relate!" way... My bday is May 24th as well. He surprised me with a trip to Argentina, so I as well as my family and friends thought that he was setting up that "special moment"... But no! How can it get more special than that. I''ve also made it very clear that the proposal needs to be a big deal, becuase we have decided not to have a wedding (just a big party after). He knows that I am ready and I told him that if it didn''t happen by the end of the year I would move out. So that''s kinda my little ultimatum. I joke about it, so it doesn''t sound so bad, but he knows I mean it...
So sorry you''re going through all this too... But you''re not alone!!! I wouldn''t suggest proposing to him, you''ll be happier later if he does it right.
P.S. Happy Belated Birthday!!!

 

[Kristie76]

hi CrookedRock,

It's funny when I read your reply. I also thought I was reading my own story. I also kinda told him (but not in a mean way) that I can't wait too long, or I'll move out. LOL. I'm not alone! It's not very fun to be in this situation, but at least I have great support here!
I'll try to be happy and try to not let it bother me so much. Let us know when he pops the question, too.
I hope he does soon

Happy belated birthday to you too! Go Gemini!

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 6/11/2007 4:07:01 PM
Author: Kristie76
Thank you all.
neatfreak, he did say ''the more I ask him the longer he will take to propose''. guys are just weird

j/k.
It is, however, a great challenge to be patient about this.

My husband said this to me for a year. They try to keep it out of your mind so it comes as more of a surprise, but in the end, all you can think about is WHEN?!?!?

I think most of us here can relate, and I know you don''t want to hear it, but patience is a virtue for a reason.

Besides, you have the LIW to vent to if you get frustrated, but now that he has the ring, I would keep my mouth shut on the topic.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/11/2007 1:57:23 PM
Author: luckystar112
I definitely would NOT give him an ultimatum.
He already has the ring! You already know he loves you! You already know it is going to happen!

I''m sorry to be so frank...but you need to stop whining and just be PATIENT!

I know it must be driving you insane, but you really need to let him have this moment. It''s not like he''s had the ring for six months...he''s had it for a few weeks.

You are RUINING this for yourself! Sit back, relax, and enjoy the suspense. (I know it''s easier said than done.) It won''t be much longer!!!!!

Absolutely ditto this!

Guys who aren''t planning to propose don''t go out and buy rings.

So, it''s gonna happen.....and you need to chill out and LET it happen.

 

[monarch64]

Aw...all I can say is that there are some men who don''t let things burn a hole in their pocket, and some who do...wouldn''t you rather have the former?

Don''t heed the advice of your friend who said to propose yourself, jeez, might as well shoot yourself in the foot while you''re at it! Give your fi some space and let him surprise you, he knows you know a proposal is already in the works, but all the way round it sounds like he''s trying his damndest to make it a suprise for you anyway. Definitely thritto on quit whining and enjoy the anticipation! Get your nails done, buy a bridal mag, go out with your girlfriends...live life as you normally would and LET IT HAPPEN! Sorry for sounding harsh, I don''t mean to, but all of us outsiders can see the obvious approaching proposal coming! He''s not backing out, he''s making you guess, and should be given props for doing so.

Good luck in your wait...I hope you come back to PS and post pics of your e-ring when it happens and stick around to share with your wedding planning, we love that stuff!

 

[Kristie76]

AWWWWWW!!

thank you all for your support!!
After venting on this forum and having many people understand how I feel, I had a great sleep last night and finally didn''t feel antsy about this whole proposal thing. I feel great knowing everyone here can relate to my "frustration", and realized that I might have been overreacted.
I will let him have his space and enjoy th anticipation

Thanks again for all your support!!!

 

[CrookedRock]

Hey... At least you know he got the ring!!!... All I know is that (after much snooping

) there were calls to and from the jeweler on his cell...(I did find a blank check folded around the jewelers receipt for the two different options we picked out, too...) That''s all I know though... Everybody keeps telling me to stop snooping, but it''s so hard!!!
Recently I have found myself mumbling smarta** comments under my breath. He knows the gist of the comments, but he''s not sure exactly what I said...LOL... I need to stop this too!
I just have to keep thinking how exciting it will be when it finally happens! Strangely enough, (my sis makes fun of me) it''s gotten to the point where all I want is the darn ring! I know getting married in inevitable... Is that strange? LOL!!!

 

[Kristie76]

I totally feel for you^^.
I know getting married is not going to be the day he propose, but I feel that he needs to propose so I can get on with my wedding planning. As long as he hasn''t, I feel I can''t do anything! I know exactly what you''re going through! In a way, I feel our bfs enjoy seeing us going insane for them. LOL.

 

[kcoursolle]

I waited four months after he had the ring. I think your bf probably has something planned and I really really would try to wait it out and to not ruin his surprise. It''s incredibly difficult to wait at this point, but you don''t want to ruin the plans.