**Haven**

[CJ2008]

Can you please, please stop saying that you''re a big baby because you''re still sad and crying about your pictures?

It is a BIG deal that your pictures didn''t come out right. And logically, you know, we all know, that you will get over it, and that regardless of the pictures, you had a wonderful wedding and now a wonderful husband. And we know that time heals everything, or at least makes it more bearable. You will get to the point where you''ll be able to look at one of those candid shots from your friends and say "wow, I am SO glad they caught this moment - maybe I should actually frame this!"

But in the meantime, why not allow yourself to feel whatever it is you''re feeling, without trying to control it or judge whether you should be feeling it? I don''t think that''s going to make you get over it any faster, but what it is doing is adding the burden of feeling silly for it!

I totally get restraining what you post on here - but on the other end of the spectrum is beating yourself up about it!

I hope I''m not crossing the line with you to call you out on this. It''s just that I feel for you so much, and I know how I felt with some of the details that didn''t go as planned, and in perspective, they''re less of a big deal than feeling I didn''t have any great pictures from that day. So please, know that it is OK to feel how you do - let yourself grieve a little, will you? You''ll get to the good place eventually, you''ll know when it''s really time to let go, and I think it will be from a place of calmness, not one where you''re judging yourself.

 

[Haven]

You''re right, Claudina.

I''m glad you posted this, I don''t think you crossed a line at all. In fact, I think you''re doing what any good friend would do by calling me out and trying to help me get over it.

So, thank you dear. I really do appreciate it.

Maybe I''ll even start telling people the truth about why I don''t have any photos up in my classroom at work. Perhaps that will help me own it faster, too.

 

[CJ2008]

I''m so glad that you found my comment helpful and you didn''t feel I crossed the line.

When I read this "Perhaps that will help me own it faster, too." I was like YES!

You don''t have to go into any more details than you want to or feel comfortable with for anybody - but owning it, and saying something about why, just "feels" likes it''s the right thing for you to do for yourself.

Stupid crappy photographer...

 

[marchswallowbird]

Haven, I so totally agree. I am absolutely petrified of not having my wedding photos come out. Of everything at the wedding (besides, you know, the actual getting MARRIED part), the ONE THING that means the most to me is having good photos. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. But Claudinam is right, you have a RIGHT to be mourning this and to feel horrible about it!! I know I would.

 

[honey22]

Ditto! No-one can tell you how to feel, so if you feel sad then that''s ok. This is my one big fear about my wedding, it''s really stressful, so I could imagine that I would be behaving exactly the same way if the same thing happened.

Hugs to you!