Have you given yourself a make-over? Inspire me...

[nala]

In the past 7 years, I have let myself go. Not entirely, but I have. I used to wear sexy heels, designer clothing, make-up, and perfume. I used to get my hair done and style it. I used to be thinner.
Now, I dress comfortably and have lost all sense of style. I work out, but it will be a while before I weigh what I used to.
The truth is, I'm too lazy to style my hair or wear make-up unless the occasion is super special.
And I'm happy. I am.
But I can't help but wonder if I could be happier if I invested in a make-over. I have no inspiration to do so bc I 'm surrounded by colleagues and friends who all value comfort over style. I know that is not an excuse, but I know that is one of the reasons I just stopped caring.
Anyhow, if any of you out there care to indulge me by sharing your make-over experience...what drove you to do it? How do you motivate yourself to keep investing time to do it?

 

[Autumnovember]

Nala, what about switching up your hair cut or color? I always love the way I feel when I have just gotten something new done to my hair. As for clothing? Take a girlfriend out for some shopping. Try on clothes you normally wouldn't and see how you feel in them. I used to ALWAYS wear eyeliner, couldn't leave the house without it. I bought awesome mascara one day and played with some looks, found what I like, and haven't worn eyeliner since. Try things you normally wouldn't, I think you'd be surprised to see how good you can feel out of your usual element sometimes I think when you find something that makes you confident, you end up running with it. People will notice how you feel about a new look and I bet they'll compliment you which is always an added bonus in helping to stick to something.

 

[manderz]

I recently had LASIK, and it was suggested that I get all new eye makeup. So, I took that as an opportunity to indulge. I got all new makeup (everything, not just the eye makeup) and watched a bunch of youtube tutorials. I found a look I like and I've been feeling awesome about it. I'm the same way about my hair. I'm just too lazy to do anything with it. I'm doing really good if I can manage to toss in some gel and scrunch it so it's kinda curly.

 

[glitterpants]

Hi Nala,

I used to value style over comfort- I even wore stiletto heels to the Great Wall of China during winter when it was icy- I was laughing about this in disbelief while looking over old vacation photos recently. I value comfort more now but try to be somewhat stylish. Instead of stiletto heels, I wear wedges which I find so much more comfortable. I have an assortment of 2-3 inch wedges (boots,sneakers,pumps,oxfords, etc.) from Fly London and they are just as comfortable as flats imo. I used to highlight my hair every few weeks- I just don't have the patience to do that anymore, instead, I get a haircut that will grow out well (long layers) and do a clear gloss. I wear makeup that is longer lasting and doesn't require touch ups during the day (benetint, mineral powder, gel eyeliner, lip stains, etc). Clothes-wise, I've found investing in neutrals in high quality fabrics looks chic and is comfortable- for example, for a day out, I'll wear something like tailored black pants, black wedges, silk tank and light cashmere cardigan and layer some long necklaces. Hope this helps some .

edited to add: I also got eyelash extensions and love it. I have super straight lashes that are a pain to curl and have to wear waterproof mascara everyday (which causes some of my lashes to fall out eventually). These extensions save me so much time and I always look somewhat "made up".

 

[Indylady]

My thoughts: Pick something you'll actually do and love, and something relatively simple. A powder foundation (MAC's studio fix has a lot of coverage), a nude lipstack (I love NARS for lipstick), and mascara can make a big difference and be easy to do. Seek out some beautiful, but comfortable pieces: silk shells, a tailored coat, and well fitting pants.

 

[Bunny007]

Maybe find a style blog to inspire you? One that interests you enough to check periodically so it's an ongoing thing. I personally like refinery29, which has articles and pictures about fashion, makeup, hair, etc...

 

[GliderPoss]

I think make-over's are really more about what makes YOU feel good, what gives you that little "ah ha" moment in the mirror, to make you feel more confident and sexy. I agree with the others - try a new hairstyle, treat yourself to some lingerie or a manicure each week. I generally dress for comfort at home but as I work in a professional environment I need to look stylish and "made up" so that is my excuse! Looking stylish can be comfortable too for example: tailored black slacks & a silk blouse with ballet flats & lovely pearls is a simple but comfortable outfit.

 

[Circe]

For me, it's all about dress-as-costume. I love this one scene from a Judith Krantz book - I think Dazzle? - where she describes a character as over-dressing, under-dressing, ****-you-dressing, but never just wearing clothes. I think about 80% of the time that's my game-plan ... and the other 20% I'm running a fever.

I will say that it got waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay easier after I got a better sense of my physical body. I apparently have a dreadful case of body dysphoria: I genuinely have no damn clue what I look like at any given moment. Things started to improve when I went to visit a friend in London at the ripe old age of 26, when on my first night there, she was bemoaning having bought too many of a cute type of bra. So I said, heeeeeeeeeeey, can I try one? I've been looking for one like that! And then she gave me some massive side-eye and said, and I quote, "No way in hell are you a B-cup, never believed it for a second, always wondered if you'd lost a bet, can I pleeeeeeeeeeeeease take you to get sized tomorrow???" So I humored her, and then had an actual honest-to-god ... panic attack, for lack of a better word, after walking out of the 3rd dept. store. I didn't believe Debenham's, I didn't believe Selfridges', but after Harrod's I had to accede ... and somehow the body image departure from always having been a 34B in my head to suddenly (yea, "suddenly") being a 32DD basically flipped a switch in my head, self-image-wise. Since then, my philosophy has always been that while I'm never going to be my society's ideal ... I can damn well shoot for being the best specimen of my short, v. curvy type possible.

And even within those constraints, there are a lot of options. I'm happiest in 1950s New Look styles, but even if it's not my comfort zone, I know the 1960s wiggle dresses suit me well (at least, going on what other people whose taste I trust say). Likewise, though I love 1920s flapper styles, they do not love me back ... unless I invest in a modern reimagining that is damn form-fitting. And given that, I try to rotate and deliberately keep it costume-y so that I never get bored, or fall into a rut, or just keep defaulting to my comfiest pieces.

As for what made that happen? Combo of my London experience and the subsequent realization that I'd been severely underestimating my "potential" (I think EVERYBODY has this - it's less a number than the mind**** of coming to understand that I was always as attractive as the stats would have had me ... I just hadn't been working it appropriately), and my reading a Marge Piercy book where a woman going through her mother's things after her death muses about her having a life wrapped in tissue paper, with everything saved for "best" until it was finally too late. Well, I'm a packrat who can never resist anothe silk-satin opera coat at the flea-market ... so why harbor them against a tomorrow that may never come as opposed to enjoying them NOW?

I do think it's less a get-a-good-haircut/makeover thing, and more just enjoying that epiphany of "I IZ HOT" and working it in whatever way is most appropriate. Shop your closet! Reconfigure familiar pieces! Buy some cool jazzy accessories for the old staples! Dye half your hair another color! Whatever it is, have fun with it. You mentioned you used to have All The Things back in the day ... assuming you didn't donate them all, why not dig them out and just have some fun? Betcha a couple of friends and a couple of hours and a bottle or two of wine will provide a whole new perspective ....

 

[rosetta]

You can look stylish at any weight: trust me, I fluctuate a lot. I put on loads after getting married (so did my husband!) through a combination of being too happy and eating too many great meals, and hormonal contraception. I've embraced my new body! Though I've lost a bit now, so I do go round in circles weight wise. I need a full wardrobe in 4 different sizes, seriously.

I refuse to be uncomfortable for the sake of fashion. I like heels only from Chie Mihara, most comfy heels ever. I wear converse, new balance and Adidas gazelles causally, flats from Bloch. I got rid of all my cheapo basics and bought neutrals in much better fabrics. If I can't think of anything else to wear: white shirt, black skinny jeans, a camel coat (hey, I'm in London) , sunglasses, one of my many handbags and my large Tiffany sunglasses and I'm out the door. My husband never complains I take too long to get ready lol.

Makeup: no more than 5 minutes when I bother: kohl, eyebrow powder, lipstick, blush. That's it. I don't have time for anything else, unless it's black tie. My hair style is long, straight and washed lol.

It's nice to get a makeover, but unless you can fit it into your lifestyle, it wont last. The easiest changes I find: perfume (3 seconds to apply) haircut and colour (don't have to repeat often), set aside a single day to update wardrobe (including clear out of existing clothes), clean out makeup bag (all makeup has a best before date printed on the case)

 

[OreoRosies86]

No but I gave myself a make-under

Seriously though, I reached a point where for me personally I decided that time consuming and uncomfortable were not doing it for me anymore. These days my maintenance routine includes a little coconut oil in my hair, a little sheer foundation, cherry chapstick, and I pluck my eyebrows.

My high heels have been in the closet since 2008. When I feel dressy a comfortable kaftan style Hawaiian print dress is my go-to and I am MUCH happier.

I have embraced the weight and aging process. I want to be healthy but also look like me after spending my entire 20s trying to be someone prettier

Maybe rotate in a few dresses and pamper yourself at the hairdresser but if you are happy as is, I would gravitate more towards whatever you are doing now!

 

[missy]

I love style and clothes and shoes etc. so I am always buying new apparel to keep myself feeling fresh and attractive. I am always wearing clothes that make me feel good and hence pretty. I am fortunate in that I like the way I look generally in clothing and I have fun with it. I am always getting compliments on my style sense and what I am wearing. And I agree that has very little to do with weight. You can dress well for any weight IMO. It's about making the most with what you do have.

Ironically I am wearing even less makeup these days (and I never wore too much anyway) and I actually prefer the "naked" face look. These days I am just wearing sunblock on my face (Cotz for face sensitive skin spf 40) and applying a bit of concealer to my under eye circles and some clear lip gloss. I often skip eye makeup and never wore foundation anyway just coverup to where I need it. So in a way it's a make over for me because it's different for me. And I like it. If I have somewhere to go/people to meet I will apply eyeliner and mascara and maybe some eyeshadow but that's the max. I like the feeling of being free and clean on my face if that makes sense and I feel attractive even with very little makeup.

As others have posted comfort trumps all for me so I never buy clothing/shoes that are not comfie comfie comfie. If you are not comfortable you feel miserable. I learned that lesson very early on and despite others being able to feel comfortable wearing heels I just never do so flats (to a very low heel) are the rule for me. And during the cool weather it is boots all the way.

To answer your question about makeovers I think whatever you do that makes yourself feel better about yourself is a win win. For some that is doing an external makeover (however minimal) and for some that is working on the inside to feel good about yourself. And for some a combo of the 2.

It's also about not being in a rut so if you feel you are then breaking out of that rut is a positive change whatever that might entail for you. Sometimes it's just a minor tweak that is easy to maintain. And changing it up can always be a fun thing and not always necessary to be a permanent change. It sounds like you are pretty happy as is and just looking for some minor change to get out of the same old same old. In that case make it as much fun as you want it to be and don't worry as any change you decide to go with does not need to be permanent but rather just something to enjoy.

Good luck and have fun with it!

 

[Indylady]

...and more just enjoying that epiphany of "I IZ HOT"

+1

 

[CJ2008]

You are already moving and working out so that's awesome - in my mind, you're already halfway there, no matter how long it takes you to get to a more ideal weight or whatever weight you're aiming for.

That's where "makeovers" always start out for me - by getting back to the gym and all that comes with it. Feeling stronger, feeling better, and looking better.

Then what usually comes for me is wanting new clothes - nothing like crisp, new clothes to help you make you feel and look great...a close second is a nice haircut and color...and definitely a manicure and pedicure...

The clothes don't have to be expensive, just make sure they fit well, pick the colors wisely (that they look really good with your skin tone, make you feel great and you can combine them with other things)...and the haircut and the color don't have to be high maintenance...some highlights around the face, a gloss to bring out some shine...I always let my stylists know that as much as I like to look stylish I like something that grows out gracefully because I will NOT be back in 4-6 weeks!

Then you can choose some things that make YOU feel put together - do you need a new purse? could you use a flattering new lipstick? or a new pair of earrings or necklace?

I think if you do those things you're well on your way to a "new" you that's easy to maintain.

 

[nala]

Thanks to all for your advice. I should clarify that I already do maintenance like: pedicures, threading, manicures, haircuts, and decent clothes. It's the extras like make-up,or styling my hair (i wear it pulled back, or in pony tail, off my face) that I find so hard to justify to do! I just feel like an extra 30 min of sleep is more valuable when it comes to facing high school kids. I find it difficult to wear sharp looking or fahionista clothing when my comfort shoes clash (think BORN flats). Also, I hate proper fitting clothing because I feel uncomfortable, so nice fitting slacks don't do the trick for me.
I guess I am looking to hear if any of you feel that the extra time you invest in your appearance is worth it? If so, how?

 

[CJ2008]

Oh, so you're talking like EVERY DAY maintenance...

Can't help you there.

I'm too lazy to put on makeup or style my hair every day

When I'm in the mood though I will put on foundation, a little mascara and eyeliner, light lipstick/lipgloss...sometimes I'll blow dry my hair upside down to give it a more finished look...when I do these things II *always* feel better when I do. So it is worth it, although I seldom do it!

It's hard to visualize your style/fashion without a sample/picture...but yes, I think that crocs dress things way down. However - a really nice pair of jeans, a nice button down white crisp shirt, a nice necklace and belt...can work, be comfortable, and look very stylish...but I do think there must be some shoes that can replace your Crocs that can be just as comfortable at least once in a while when you feel like looking a little sharper.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Lately I have been on a maxi dress binge. I have found that wearing these long flowing dresses with a nice pedicure and cute flat sandals are so easy to just throw on, and they make me feel feminine and pretty. They are also very comfortable, in style, and slimming. For work I add a cardigan, and accessories. Having great accessories can make a plain solid dress look dressy.

I used to always pull my hair back in a ponytail, but now instead of pulling it all back, I just pull half of it back, leaving the rest flowy and long. That has also made me feel more summery and cheerful.

Lastly for the summer, a great lotion with a little tint to give you a natural tan glow, plus tinted chapstick adds some color to my complexion, without actually putting on make-up. I tend to do this on weekends, and both the lotion and chapstick are things I put on for moisturizing anyway.

 

[Circe]

I met Amanda Palmer, one of my favorite musicians, once. I was dressed basically the way I usually am: leopard print dress with a floaty knee length skirt, red patent leather shoes, red patent leather belt, and matching red, red lips, hair in a casual ponytail, some liner, mascara, PERIOD. I don't even pluck my eyebrows, outside of strays. Which is, weirdly, what she remarked on - that dress! those lips! With *those brows*! - and then we shared a cigarette, which, by the standards of an academic conference, is as fun as it gets.

(What was she doing at an academic conference? Her husband was guest of honor. That did not stop her from doing an impromptu ukulele performance in the bar later that night.)

( but I digress)

For me, it's war paint. If I'm going out into the world, I'm generally alert for anything that might carry a whiff of confrontation, so, just like I pack my mace, I put on the stuff that will make people respond in the way I want them to. It's fundamentally manipulative, but also ... "fun" isn't the right word, exactly, nor is "effective" ... but it's *satisfying.*. It is very much like playing a role well.

PS - as you might have gathered, my idea of a beauty regime is minimal in the extreme. Strong lip, strong eye, we're done here. I've yet to meet a foundation or blusher that does jack.

 

[SB621]

I cut off 9 inches of hair last month and this month my normally dark brown hair got highlighted and dyed to caramel perfection! I'm still in shock!

 

[SB621]

I cut off 9 inches of hair last month and this month my normally dark brown hair got highlighted and dyed to caramel perfection! I'm still in shock!

 

[Rena7]

I really like playing with makeup so that part is no problem for me. I am not so big on fixing my hair. What I have been doing lately is just putting in some sea salt spray and scrunching it. I think it looks nice in the summer. I do agree that some nice summer dresses are comfy and look very nice.

 

[TC1987]

One of the women I went to nursing school turned 50 and she with had chin liposuction a skin tuck tuck or whatever it's called. Not a full facelift. Just a $3000- $3500 procedure to suck out the fat around the jawline and lower cheeks, and then remove baggy skin. It was a dramatic improvement. I am convinced that a lot of plus-size models have had the same procedure and that's how they got the pretty face, because there is no way to as heavy as some of then are and yet have no double chin and thickened neck.

http://www.realself.com/Chin-liposuction/reviews

 

[Calliecake]

I cut off 9 inches of hair last month and this month my normally dark brown hair got highlighted and dyed to caramel perfection! I'm still in shock!

WOW. Now that's a drastic change. How brave of you. Are you happy with the end results? Sorry for thread jack. I had to ask.

 

[Indylady]

I met Amanda Palmer, one of my favorite musicians, once. I was dressed basically the way I usually am: leopard print dress with a floaty knee length skirt, red patent leather shoes, red patent leather belt, and matching red, red lips, hair in a casual ponytail, some liner, mascara, PERIOD. I don't even pluck my eyebrows, outside of strays. Which is, weirdly, what she remarked on - that dress! those lips! With *those brows*! - and then we shared a cigarette, which, by the standards of an academic conference, is as fun as it gets.

(What was she doing at an academic conference? Her husband was guest of honor. That did not stop her from doing an impromptu ukulele performance in the bar later that night.)

( but I digress)

For me, it's war paint. If I'm going out into the world, I'm generally alert for anything that might carry a whiff of confrontation, so, just like I pack my mace, I put on the stuff that will make people respond in the way I want them to. It's fundamentally manipulative, but also ... "fun" isn't the right word, exactly, nor is "effective" ... but it's *satisfying.*. It is very much like playing a role well.

PS - as you might have gathered, my idea of a beauty regime is minimal in the extreme. Strong lip, strong eye, we're done here. I've yet to meet a foundation or blusher that does jack.

So interesting and smart, Circe! I'll have to take a page out of your book.

 

[Circe]

I met Amanda Palmer, one of my favorite musicians, once. I was dressed basically the way I usually am: leopard print dress with a floaty knee length skirt, red patent leather shoes, red patent leather belt, and matching red, red lips, hair in a casual ponytail, some liner, mascara, PERIOD. I don't even pluck my eyebrows, outside of strays. Which is, weirdly, what she remarked on - that dress! those lips! With *those brows*! - and then we shared a cigarette, which, by the standards of an academic conference, is as fun as it gets.

(What was she doing at an academic conference? Her husband was guest of honor. That did not stop her from doing an impromptu ukulele performance in the bar later that night.)

( but I digress)

For me, it's war paint. If I'm going out into the world, I'm generally alert for anything that might carry a whiff of confrontation, so, just like I pack my mace, I put on the stuff that will make people respond in the way I want them to. It's fundamentally manipulative, but also ... "fun" isn't the right word, exactly, nor is "effective" ... but it's *satisfying.*. It is very much like playing a role well.

PS - as you might have gathered, my idea of a beauty regime is minimal in the extreme. Strong lip, strong eye, we're done here. I've yet to meet a foundation or blusher that does jack.

So interesting and smart, Circe! I'll have to take a page out of your book.

Thanks, Indy - I always feel a little, well, sociopathic when I think about it in those terms, but fundamentally, I know what sorts of impressions ladies carry just from talking to friends and acquaintances and frenemies of both genders. Since I'm generally trying to carry off a look that says "physically confident (i.e., not a victim, don't even think about harassing me, creeper), happily coupled (and not tryna get the D, thanks, lech), professional feminist with a sense of style (hi, students/employers!), and nice friendly lady you can strike up a conversation with on the playground (fellow moms, come at me!) ...." it can be, uh, a balancing act. Thinking of it as a perpetual costuming event makes it fun as opposed to arduous.

This thread has stuck in my mind ... one thing I've been doing the last few days is weeding/reorganizing my closet, and a) that feels sort of like a makeover in and of itself, since it gets me much more conscious of how I'm presenting myself when I've just tossed/donated the 10 or 20 things that were obviously WRONG, and, b) ... it reminds me that I don't wear half my danged wardrobe. Not because I don't love it, but because my elliptical machine blocks half my closet, so whatever is in there is generally a mystery unless I'm feeling committed. Yes, I'm aware of all those minimalist toss-all-your-shite memes, but, again for a lettered list, a) I grew up poor, and parting with still-useful things gives me a twinge, b) I shop vintage, so it's not like it's either going out of style or replaceable, and, c), it's actually kind of nice! Like the present of a whole new wardrobe from fashionable former-me annually or bi-annually. It always reminds me that it's just as easy to throw on a nice skirt as it is jeans, actually easier if you go with a dress, and that I'm not building a trousseau, for the love of mike ... I should enjoy all the shiny treasures now. So, yes, I sit here typing this in a pretty black-with-pink-trim 50s inspired sundress instead of my usual Hudson Jeans/Michael Stars monochromatic all-black ensemble. Woohoo!

 

[missy]

I cut off 9 inches of hair last month and this month my normally dark brown hair got highlighted and dyed to caramel perfection! I'm still in shock!

WOW. Now that's a drastic change. How brave of you. Are you happy with the end results? Sorry for thread jack. I had to ask.

OMG Sarah, I bet that you look even more gorgeous now though I am not sure that's possible cause you were beautiful before! That is a dream to me-to cut and lighten my hair but the maintenance of the color change would be too difficult for me because my hair is so dark. But I always wanted to have my dark hair a beautiful caramel color instead! Congrats and well if you could just post pics (with face blurred if necessary) of your new do that would be awesome if you're comfortable doing so.