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Have you ever suffered from buyers guilt?

Made in London

Made in London

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
Messages
728
How many of you have made a big splurge on jewellery or a designer bag, a watch, or shoes? I have found that if I have saved for the item, I feel no guilt, but If I make a large spontanious purchase on the spur of the moment, I feel awful buyers guilt! I do get over it & it doesn't stop me from doing it again!
 
Me too! That's why I started a jewelry budget. It helps hugely because before that, I only had a vague idea of what would be "okay" to spend or "too much" in the first place. The budget makes it guilt-free.

My jewelry money is from my monthly jewelry budget, special occasion money like birthday and Christmas, proceeds from any of my jewelry that I decide to sell, and from my little side business. It's extra workable because it also has leeway built in. I CAN go over my budget- as long as I don't buy anything else until I catch up again.

I don't have the same urge for clothes, shoes, bags etc that I do for jewelry. So I don't need to keep track of those purchases in the same strict way. So far, anyway!
 
seaurchin said:
Me too! That's why I started a jewelry budget. It helps hugely because before that, I only had a vague idea of what would be "okay" to spend or "too much" in the first place. The budget makes it guilt-free.

My jewelry money is from my monthly jewelry budget, special occasion money like birthday and Christmas, proceeds from any of my jewelry that I decide to sell, and from my little side business. It's extra workable because it also has leeway built in. I CAN go over my budget- as long as I don't buy anything else until I catch up again.

I don't have the same urge for clothes, shoes, bags etc that I do for jewelry. So I don't need to keep track of those purchases in the same strict way. So far, anyway!
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The trouble with me is that I have urges to buy clothes,shoes, bags,jewellery & stuff for the house that I have no where to put it!
 
As a society, we are taught that 'we are not worthy' by various religious teachers, cultural icons, various political zeitgeists and popular culture.

You are worthy of adornment, people have been making and wearing jewelry for at least 130,000 years!

And as I always say OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, when someone asks how much something costs because they want to chide you, tell them 'it was a gift from a secret admirer, I never did find out who it was!'

This will drive them crazy and get them off of your back.

If they continue with stupid questions, 'did you look up the price?', tell them 'no, but I'm sure that you will'

Blessings to all of you, we all deserve to treat ourselves!
 
All the time, and not just for blings! However, they never last very long!

DK :lol-2:
 
Skyjems said:
As a society, we are taught that 'we are not worthy' by various religious teachers, cultural icons, various political zeitgeists and popular culture.

You are worthy of adornment, people have been making and wearing jewelry for at least 130,000 years!

And as I always say OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, when someone asks how much something costs because they want to chide you, tell them 'it was a gift from a secret admirer, I never did find out who it was!'

This will drive them crazy and get them off of your back.

If they continue with stupid questions, 'did you look up the price?', tell them 'no, but I'm sure that you will'

Blessings to all of you, we all deserve to treat ourselves!
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You have just soothed my soul!=)2
 
dk168 said:
All the time, and not just for blings! However, they never last very long!

DK :lol-2:
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I always dread what my DH is going to say so it makes me want to be sneaky even though it's my OWN money I'm spending. He is a minimalist in what he spends:roll2:
 
Made in London said:
I always dread what my DH is going to say so it makes me want to be sneaky even though it's my OWN money I'm spending. He is a minimalist in what he spends:roll2:
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I don't have that problem as I do not have an OH, and the pets do not care as long as I feed them!

My mum is the one I have to watch out for, as she never stops nagging. Hence I live in a different continent and several time zones away from her! And I hide my blings from her when I go and visit once every 2 years of so.

DK :lol-2:
 
I agree that guilt is drummed into a lot of us. That said, personally I don't feel like I don't deserve any extras (nor does my husband). I just don't want the awful long term consequences that overspending can lead to.

In general, I do best with a budget, BUT one that is not extremely strict or inflexible.
 
I clearly overdid it this year. Not financially - I never spend more than I can afford. And at the end it’s my money I work for. But it was loads. And yes, I feel a little guilty because in retrospective I should not have bought it all. A defined bling budget sounds good. I‘ll do that in the future. For me it‘s mainly jewellery. At least I don’t have the same urge to purchase when it comes to handbags and such.
 
dk168 said:
I don't have that problem as I do not have an OH, and the pets do not care as long as I feed them!

My mum is the one I have to watch out for, as she never stops nagging. Hence I live in a different continent and several time zones away from her! And I hide my blings from her when I go and visit once every 2 years of so.

DK :lol-2:
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I have that dilemma as well. I have quite a few pieces I would never let her know I have.
 
Roselina said:
I have that dilemma as well. I have quite a few pieces I would never let her know I have.
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Kind of crazy, as I am in my mid 50s, independent, support myself financially without any help, yet I still hide things from my mother to avoid her nagging!!!

DK :roll2: :lol-2:
 
I’m one of those who has absolutely no business spending money, especially on beautiful things. But while I sometimes feel faint and need to sit down a while after paying for bling, I rationalize it all away by reminding myself that I only keep things for a while and then always let them go again, so eventually it all evens out! Phew!
 
Spending what my grains says are large sums of money is beyond guilt and into anxiety inducing. Like a high followed by seriously I'm gonna throw up, scream, cry, wanna hide type anxiety.

I have to employ some well learned techniques to come out of the hole though. I have the same thing even if its something I need...it just is that thing I have to manage.

Its part of the reason why I have not really started looking hard for my earrings. I want them, I can afford to pay cash for them, but the low on the other end....I'm not ready for that yet.
 
Good question. I think that is one reason why I took the long route to my final upgrade for my Ering. Somehow the thought of paying incrementally for it made it more tolerable. Lol. My other pieces are all purchase guilt-free bc they are all for the most part estate and purchased at great prices. Plus I keep a revolving fund when I sell off other pieces to fund my bling. I want to add that my bling fund always comes from discretionary spending funds—needs are alway paid first. So there is no guilt bc we all deserve to treat ourselves! Holidays and birthdays and just because days! Life is short. Balance is key.
 
Guilt is a useless emotion. Not to say I don't experience it at times but I know it is not a good nor useful emotion. Just as worry is a useless emotion. Both worry and guilt are different sides of the same coin. Worry looking ahead and guilt looking back.

I will go one step further if I may. Guilt is, IMO, a toxic emotion. It is dead weight. It can creep into many things draining our energy and making us feel bad.

Don't do that to yourself. You deserve nice things in life. Know that and embrace that and enjoy the things you purchase without feeling guilty.

You rock @Made in London figuratively and literally. Enjoy your beautiful things!
 
Ah yes.
Story I’ve mentioned before.
Decades ago now my bestest girlfriend and I had plans for a big overseas trip after graduating high school / before starting Uni.
I had been saving birthday money, Christmas money and money from my part time jobs for years to fund this holiday.
unfortunately at the beginning of our final school year we had a huge falling out (over a boy as teenage girls are apt to do) and the trip was cancelled. I wasn’t brave enough to go solo.
After graduation I went into the City to do some Christmas shopping and walking past a fancy Jewellers saw a sapphire ring in the window.
I went in and on a whim bought it. Virtually all my savings $3,300.
By the time I go home I felt ill, what have I done, and was too scared to tell or show my parents so I put it in my sock drawer and there it stayed for a few months.
Eventually I got up the courage to show my mother. She went ballistic to put it mildly. Even more so when she realised I’d had it for months and now it couldn’t be returned.
To this day, some 40 years later, my mother will still get agitated if the ring is seen or mentioned. Because of my guilt, I barely wore the ring. Many a dozen times in total over 40 years and not at all the past 20 years. It’s too small for me now.
Here she is....F0B6DDB0-025D-4664-9590-2F313BD68046.jpeg
 
Nope no guilt.

I’m 61 and am just fine with treating myself every once in awhile. I buy a mix of preloved and new. Now that I found super ideals I have another avenue for my bling purchases. I take care of my responsibilities and at my age think treats are just fine!!!
 
yes
i would make a good Catholic i have so much quilt

no other comment :lol-2:
 
All the time. I work hard to get over it, and I'm usually successful. ;)2
 
No.

I take a “work hard and play hard” approach to life - and my “play” happens to be jewellery.

As long as I can afford to indulge without compromising daily needs or reasonable savings, I’m not going to feel guilty for treating myself to things that make me happy. And I’m not going to let anyone else make me feel guilty either.

My (multitudinous) ghosts of ancestral misers past can go stuff it.
 
Yes! I feel guilty when I get something for myself. I work hard but I still feel guilty. Bit guilty enough to stop buying stuff though!
 
I feel guilty not to indulge myself more often. :praise:
 
No.
 
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I feel guilty when my impulse shopping ends up in making multiple purchases in a short period. Not that I can't afford it, but I try to spread my bling spending out. To offset the feeling, I'll post a few things for sale. It doesn't matter if it sells, it just makes me feel better that I made the attempt, lol.
 
yes, i have suffered from buyers guilt. it isn't often that i do, though ... the most recent time, i recall was ...

last year, my husband and i celebrated a milestone anniversary. i had set a budget for myself for an anniversary gift of a diamond for a ring and another diamond for a pendant

well, after all that was said and done, not only did i go way, way over my own "budget", but i ended up not getting the two diamonds, as planned. i only ended up with one, because that one diamond that i ended up with required additional funds. so i decided to push resources for that pendant diamond into it

of course, i thought i was going bonkers. but fortunately, mr. bff was, impressively, encouraging, of which i am grateful for. i enjoy it as much now, as when i first got it. he enjoys seeing me wear it. sometimes, i forget it is in the ultrasonic, he will saunter over with a smile and put the ring on my finger

in hindsight, i am so glad, i went for it. and didn't let guilt, prevent me, from going after what i truly wanted
 
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missy said:
Guilt is a useless emotion. Not to say I don't experience it at times but I know it is not a good nor useful emotion. Just as worry is a useless emotion. Both worry and guilt are different sides of the same coin. Worry looking ahead and guilt looking back.

I will go one step further if I may. Guilt is, IMO, a toxic emotion. It is dead weight. It can creep into many things draining our energy and making us feel bad.

Don't do that to yourself. You deserve nice things in life. Know that and embrace that and enjoy the things you purchase without feeling guilty.

You rock @Made in London figuratively and literally. Enjoy your beautiful things!
Click to expand...

Aww,thank's Missy Xx
 
Big Fat Facets said:
yes, i have suffered from buyers guilt. it isn't often that i do, though ... the most recent time, i recall was ...

last year, my husband and i celebrated a milestone anniversary. i had set a budget for myself for an anniversary gift of a diamond for a ring and another diamond for a pendant

well, after all that was said and done, not only did i go way, way over my own "budget", but i ended up not getting the two diamonds, as planned. i only ended up with one, because that one diamond that i ended up with required additional funds. so i decided to push resources for that pendant diamond into it

of course, i thought i was going bonkers. but fortunately, mr. bff was, impressively, encouraging, of which i am grateful for. i enjoy it as much now, as when i first got it. he enjoys seeing me wear it. sometimes, i forget it is in the ultrasonic, he will saunter over with a smile and put the ring on my finger

in hindsight, i am so glad, i went for it. and didn't let guilt, prevent me, from going after what i truly wanted
Click to expand...

That's a lovely story=)2
 
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