Have you ever done the opposite of what you imagined?

[Tacori E-ring]

In a recent thread many posters were quick to offer (harsh) advice. I started wondering if anyone has done the opposite of what they imagined. Maybe it in a work situation, maybe how you raise your children, or your romantic relationship. So have you ever done or said the opposite of what you imagined?

 

[yssie]

Yes. I claimed I would never pass on a good job opportunity for the sake of a 'boy'. We weren't even engaged when I gave up exactly that to move to the opposite coast.

Do I regret it? No, because we were engaged two weeks later, and two weeks after that I got a fantastic offer.

Would I regret it, at least in part, had I not got lucky and hit the job jackpot? Honestly? Most probably.

 

[princesss]

Yssie, I can pretty much promise you that you'd have regretted it (says the girl that gave up a good job opportunity that would have given her everything she wanted in order to give her relationship a shot).

And I always said that I'd be the girl that would leave a guy before giving up a good job offer, but that went out the window when I decided to stay Stateside to see how things went with my BF. Well, we broke up, and I'm stuck in the States watching people graduate from the program I passed up and apply to expat jobs. It's going to take me a little while to get back on track after screwing that up...

 

[Autumnovember]

Many, many, many, many times. I'm sure I'll do it many more times too.

It's easy to say what you'll do in a hypothetical situation for any given circumstance but really, until you are actually in the situation yourself you never really know 100%.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Yeah, my boys got Nintendo DSes at the start of summer and let them play on them too much! Now they only get them on the weekends.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Yssie, sounds like everything worked out for the best!

Princesss, be gentle on yourself. You probably would have regretted it if you didn't try to work on your relationship. Hopefully even better opportunities will happen because you stayed for awhile.

Autumn, I 100% agree with you and mentioned that in the other thread. I used to think I KNEW what I would do in EVERY situation but with maturity came the realization that I really don't know.

MC, you regret buying them or letting them have control? I think weekends are a good compromise. We didn't have video games but my parents were pretty strict with TV and were more relaxed on the weekends.

 

[fieryred33143]

My life is pretty much the opposite of what I said I would never do

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Yssie, sounds like everything worked out for the best!

Princesss, be gentle on yourself. You probably would have regretted it if you didn't try to work on your relationship. Hopefully even better opportunities will happen because you stayed for awhile.

Autumn, I 100% agree with you and mentioned that in the other thread. I used to think I KNEW what I would do in EVERY situation but with maturity came the realization that I really don't know.

MC, you regret buying them or letting them have control? I think weekends are a good compromise. We didn't have video games but my parents were pretty strict with TV and were more relaxed on the weekends.

I regret buying them. We had the rule of computer games on Fri and Sat only. It was when I was at my MILs that I decided to get them something to keep them occupied b/c we didn't know anyone where we were and it was $20 a ferry ride. They spent too much time on them as I laxed on the rules. Also, I hate how small the screens are and the music from the games drive me nuts! lol Now that we moved, they don't really care about the games anymore. . .!

 

[Autumnovember]

Yssie, sounds like everything worked out for the best!

Princesss, be gentle on yourself. You probably would have regretted it if you didn't try to work on your relationship. Hopefully even better opportunities will happen because you stayed for awhile.

Autumn, I 100% agree with you and mentioned that in the other thread. I used to think I KNEW what I would do in EVERY situation but with maturity came the realization that I really don't know.

MC, you regret buying them or letting them have control? I think weekends are a good compromise. We didn't have video games but my parents were pretty strict with TV and were more relaxed on the weekends.

I'm still baby status over here so I'm still learning and realizing this each and every year. No matter how much I'll say "I'LL NEVER DO THAT!"...I realize that its so far from the truth.

 

[Autumnovember]

My life is pretty much the opposite of what I said I would never do

Me too---

"I'll never go into Nursing"

"I'll never date someone older"

"I'll never stop being friends with such and such"

"I'll would never stay in an abusive relationship"

 

[princesss]

Hahaha, Autumn, that reminds me. I definitely said I'd never a) work in my industry or b) work for my company. I would have told you I'd work for Phillip Morris before I'd work here. And now, not only am I working for this company, I love it!

T, you're right - there was going to be regret either way. I just wish I'd focused more on what I wanted most. I thought I could have both, but I sacrified a lot for a relationship that didn't have as solid a foundation as I thought it did and that's hard to come to terms with.

 

[Maisie]

Yes, I got back with my cheating husband. There I said it... loud and proud

I always said I would walk away from a cheat. But I believe in forgiveness and reconcilliation. However, if he does it again there will be no more chances. I'm not a total idiot

 

[somethingshiny]

Oh yeah. Not exactly proud of some of the choices, but my life is good so I guess they worked out.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Oh so many times. I try to remind myself to "never say never."

After living with boyfriends and having it not work out, I swore to myself I wouldn't live with another man until I had a ring on my finger. Well, my next boyfriend was very convincing. We moved in together after only SIX MONTHS of dating. Then I quit my job to move with him a few months after that. Luckily, we're married now so I'm not too mad at myself anymore.

I have heard so many people say that they'd never stay with a cheating spouse. But once in a while, there's that success story. You know, "he cheated but in the end it actually brought them closer and they're relationship is that much stronger now." I think a lot of women hold onto that. Hoping and praying that they can be that one in a hundred success story.

 

[Jennifer W]

Pretty much every step of the way. I'm consistently inconsistent. I'm also flexible - roll with it, how bad can it be etc? It's been good so far, but nothing (and I mean nothing) has gone as I'd imagined my life would go. I've done the opposite of my (slightly childish) intentions over and over again. It's quite liberating.

Jen

 

[Glitz]

Oh so many times. I try to remind myself to "never say never."

100% agree with the above, never say never. I never thought I would have a tattoo ... but now I do, some days I love it and think it's cool, other days I think I've defaced my own body! I also never think I'll have or want children, I've always thought this and still do. But I know that anything is really possible.

The one time that stands out in my mind though is when I said "we don't need contents insurance, we're moving in 4 months anyways & our apartment will never have a fire", in the back of my mind right after I said that I thought "never say never". 1 month later our apartment burned ... no insurance! That was over 3 years ago, and I'm more humbled and better off since then. but my poor jewellery

 

[TooPatient]

I'll never sleep with a man before marriage
I'll never live with a man before marriage
I'll never date someone older
I'll never sleep with anyone before finishing high school
I'll never buy an electric stove
I'll never fall for some guy's lines (stupid high school me...)
I'll never have a gun in the house (we just added 3 more... at my suggestion)
I'll NEVER drink any alcohol (a glass of wine with dinner sometimes is yummy)
I'll never stay at a job I hate
I'll never wear heels
I'll never have long hair again


Yeah.... got a few

 

[yssie]

Yssie, I can pretty much promise you that you'd have regretted it (says the girl that gave up a good job opportunity that would have given her everything she wanted in order to give her relationship a shot).

And I always said that I'd be the girl that would leave a guy before giving up a good job offer, but that went out the window when I decided to stay Stateside to see how things went with my BF. Well, we broke up, and I'm stuck in the States watching people graduate from the program I passed up and apply to expat jobs. It's going to take me a little while to get back on track after screwing that up...

Princess, I'm sorry . I do agree that there would likely have been regrets with either choice - if you'd accepted, you'd always have wondered if the relationship 'may' have worked...

I really hope things work out. I'm not going to say it was probably for the best because platitudes never help, but I will say that things do sometimes have a way of working out, though the journey might be longer and more winding than expected. Can I ask if this a programme you can/plan to reapply to?

 

[kittybean]

For years and years, I aspired to be a doctor. In high school, I took advanced science courses, helped conduct research on retroviruses and on high altitude illnesses, did an extended job shadow of a GP and an OB-GYN, and I started college as a pre-med/bio major. As it turns out, I realized that science and medicine were fascinating, but neither was right for me. So I got a liberal arts degree and went t law school.

When I started law school, I said there was no way I could ever do the type of law I practice now . . . yet here I am, doing exactly that. It's so funny how life can take you where you thought you'd never go.

 

[princesss]

Yssie, I can pretty much promise you that you'd have regretted it (says the girl that gave up a good job opportunity that would have given her everything she wanted in order to give her relationship a shot).

And I always said that I'd be the girl that would leave a guy before giving up a good job offer, but that went out the window when I decided to stay Stateside to see how things went with my BF. Well, we broke up, and I'm stuck in the States watching people graduate from the program I passed up and apply to expat jobs. It's going to take me a little while to get back on track after screwing that up...

Princess, I'm sorry . I do agree that there would likely have been regrets with either choice - if you'd accepted, you'd always have wondered if the relationship 'may' have worked...

I really hope things work out. I'm not going to say it was probably for the best because platitudes never help, but I will say that things do sometimes have a way of working out, though the journey might be longer and more winding than expected. Can I ask if this a programme you can/plan to reapply to?

Yssie, unfortunately the company stopped the programme after the class that I would have been in, so the people graduating now are the last of their kind. On the plus side, they have much higher expectations and it's harder for them to impress people because they've been built up so much - as a normal employee it's a little easier to shine, if that makes sense. It's what I tell myself, anyways.

In the end, life will happen however it's going to happen. As long as I can move abroad again (and hopefully keep moving), I'll be happy. I took a risk and it didn't work out. That's life, right? Maybe the next gamble I take will pay off.

 

[yssie]

Yssie, I can pretty much promise you that you'd have regretted it (says the girl that gave up a good job opportunity that would have given her everything she wanted in order to give her relationship a shot).

And I always said that I'd be the girl that would leave a guy before giving up a good job offer, but that went out the window when I decided to stay Stateside to see how things went with my BF. Well, we broke up, and I'm stuck in the States watching people graduate from the program I passed up and apply to expat jobs. It's going to take me a little while to get back on track after screwing that up...

Princess, I'm sorry . I do agree that there would likely have been regrets with either choice - if you'd accepted, you'd always have wondered if the relationship 'may' have worked...

I really hope things work out. I'm not going to say it was probably for the best because platitudes never help, but I will say that things do sometimes have a way of working out, though the journey might be longer and more winding than expected. Can I ask if this a programme you can/plan to reapply to?

Yssie, unfortunately the company stopped the programme after the class that I would have been in, so the people graduating now are the last of their kind. On the plus side, they have much higher expectations and it's harder for them to impress people because they've been built up so much - as a normal employee it's a little easier to shine, if that makes sense. It's what I tell myself, anyways.

In the end, life will happen however it's going to happen. As long as I can move abroad again (and hopefully keep moving), I'll be happy. I took a risk and it didn't work out. That's life, right? Maybe the next gamble I take will pay off.

And that right there is the healthiest possible way view

 

[zoebartlett]

I never thought I'd buy a house with anyone until we were married or at least engaged. My husband and I bought our condo together before we got engaged.

I didn't think I'd work in my field. I thought I'd have a career in publishing, but then over 2 years in, I realized that it was too much of a corporate environment for me. I'm MUCH happier with what I'm doing now.

 

[soocool]

What I imagined: I was going to be a career woman. I did not want to get married and I did not want kids.

What actually happened: I got married in my mid 30s, had a kid and quit my job to stay at home with DD. I am completely happy!

 

[steph72276]

Yep, I said I would never want to be a stay at home mom. Even when I quit my job in order to move our family to a different state for my husband's career, I thought I would go back quickly after we got settled in. But then I realized it was the very best decision I've ever made. As I've matured, I've also learned to never say never. Circumstances change, and we never know what turns life will take.

 

[House Cat]

I've learned the moment I start saying "never," life steps in and starts teaching me lessons.

I keep my mouth shut now. These lessons are too hard on my heart.

 

[february2003bride]

Oh yeah... lol:

I'd never have sex before marriage...didn't exactly follow that!
Would never have a baby out of wedlock...I sure did and it was the best thing ever to shape my life.
Would never drive a minivan... I do and LOVE my Toyota Sienna!
Would never get married- I loved being a single mom! Just me and my daughter...then I met DH and couldn't imagine life without him and he's an amazing dad to DD!
Would never stay at home after working so hard on my college degree... I stay at home and absolutely love it.

Lot's of "I never's" lol

 

[Bunny007]

In a recent thread many posters were quick to offer (harsh) advice. I started wondering if anyone has done the opposite of what they imagined. Maybe it in a work situation, maybe how you raise your children, or your romantic relationship. So have you ever done or said the opposite of what you imagined?

I'm really surprised that people were quick to label the above-referenced posters as "harsh." At worst, they advised the OP to leave her cheating spouse. At best, they said that they themselves would leave their hypothetically cheating spouse. I'm all for giving gentle advice, and I admire the people that are willing to give their spouse a second chance, but to call the posters who thought otherwise harsh

No one can say with certainty what they would do in any given situation. People should consider that when they post hypotheticals

To answer this OP's question: Probably, but none that I can think of. Most of life's surprises have been the type I can't control

 

[Autumnovember]

In a recent thread many posters were quick to offer (harsh) advice. I started wondering if anyone has done the opposite of what they imagined. Maybe it in a work situation, maybe how you raise your children, or your romantic relationship. So have you ever done or said the opposite of what you imagined?

I'm really surprised that people were quick to label the above-referenced posters as "harsh." At worst, they advised the OP to leave her cheating spouse. At best, they said that they themselves would leave their hypothetically cheating spouse. I'm all for giving gentle advice, and I admire the people that are willing to give their spouse a second chance, but to call the posters who thought otherwise harsh

No one can say with certainty what they would do in any given situation. People should consider that when they post hypotheticals

To answer this OP's question: Probably, but none that I can think of. Most of life's surprises have been the type I can't control

Not to be rude or anything, but I highly doubt you have never done something that you said you wouldn't do. Sometimes they're called mistakes, sometimes they're called blessings in disguise.

P.s. I doubt all of your life surprises have been ones that you could control, lets be realistic here.

 

[fieryred33143]

My life is pretty much the opposite of what I said I would never do

I just realized this is grammatically incorrect, right? It should be my life is opposite of what I said I would do.

LOL!!!

 

[Bunny007]

In a recent thread many posters were quick to offer (harsh) advice. I started wondering if anyone has done the opposite of what they imagined. Maybe it in a work situation, maybe how you raise your children, or your romantic relationship. So have you ever done or said the opposite of what you imagined?

I'm really surprised that people were quick to label the above-referenced posters as "harsh." At worst, they advised the OP to leave her cheating spouse. At best, they said that they themselves would leave their hypothetically cheating spouse. I'm all for giving gentle advice, and I admire the people that are willing to give their spouse a second chance, but to call the posters who thought otherwise harsh

No one can say with certainty what they would do in any given situation. People should consider that when they post hypotheticals

To answer this OP's question: Probably, but none that I can think of. Most of life's surprises have been the type I can't control

Not to be rude or anything, but I highly doubt you have never done something that you said you wouldn't do. Sometimes they're called mistakes, sometimes they're called blessings in disguise.

P.s. I doubt all of your life surprises have been ones that you could control, lets be realistic here.

Mistakes? I make them ALL THE TIME. I thought the OP was asking whether we'd taken a position on one thing or another, and for whatever reason, consciously chose to do the opposite later down the road. And like I said in my last post, (and without thinking about it very hard) I probably have. I do think people can surprise themselves with the decisions they make though (decisions that are within their control).

So no offense taken. We're actually in total agreement.