Has the economy changed you?

[Miss Sparkly]

DH and I were hit hard by the economy and have been thru a lot at such young ages. I am very grateful that it happened now. We have time to recover and it has taught us several life lessons. One thing that I have noticed is I now become very distressed when I waste money. We don't even go out to eat anymore because of the idea of how much it costs when I can just cook at home. I went from being a bad freespender to being a guilt ridden penny pincher

For the positive: I've learned how to cook better
we've found great things to do at home
the house is pretty and clean
I spend a lot more time with my boys (dogs)
I exercise more since I only pay once a month for the gym
Daily grabbing of coffee has come to a hault. Now it's about once every couple weeks which makes it truly feel like a treat
My hair is healthier because I take the time to pamper it

As a whole: I am happier because the quest for things no longer runs my life

Hopefully other families and PSers have also found a silver lining in this cloud

 

[reader]

Economy was one of the reasons that led to my divorce. I couldn't take the burden of someone who refused to take on a job. Its also helping a lot with my boyfriend and I. Once I get my transfer and he gets a better paying job, we plan to live on one income, and use the other to pay off whatever home we find quickly, and put back substantial savings. We realize, our bodies won't hold out forever, and in case the economy takes another harsh dip, and one of us loses our job, then we will have a good nest egg and be used to living on one income.

 

[zoebartlett]

My husband lost his job because of the economy and we ended up moving to a different part of the country 6 months later so he could return to work. We wouldn't have moved if the economy had been better, but moving gave us a push to try something different and out of the ordinary. It gave us a reason to try living in a place we'd never been before (spread our wings, I suppose). He'd always wanted to have that experience, and beginning a new job far from home gave us that opportunity. It ended up being a mixed experience for me though. It was a really tough year for me in some ways, but on the other hand, I did meet some really great people and I learned a lot. The negative things were really, really bad, but the positives were really, really good. It was definitely an emotional roller coaster for me.

After a year, however, we were able to move back to our home state, and things are good again. My husband' got a great job and coincidentally, it's with a former employer.

Did I actually answer the question? Ha!

 

[Steel]

I tend to believe that I only have myself and my husband to rely upon and the recession has proved the rule. This recession has been sink or swim for us, similarly to the posts above and although we have a December budget looming we are keeping head above water and that has been directly in response to us cutting everything out that we do not immediately require and doing everything we can do for ourselves. For example like you Sparkly Blonde, I bake everything - I don't buy any bread or baked goods - I make my own and most other things are from scratch. We haven't had a trades person on site in as long as I can rememeber. We are nearly self sufficient on home grown veg and will be over producing by next year with our poly-tunnel going up and we are getting broilers (chickens) and hopefully pigs all for home use. Now that we are 'used' to it it really is satisfying to live "the good life".

Negatively for me I am too penny pinching and we need to go on a holiday, go out for dinner more even to the cinema but every penny counts at the moment. I just hope when all has settled that we find a balance.

Great topic.

 

[Haven]

The economic downturn has justified my penny pinching ways to my husband. So in one respect is has been the thing that FINALLY made him believe that my commitment to living far beneath our means, and my reluctance to buy anything we can't pay for in cash are actually sound beliefs. He always went along with those things, but I think he believed I was going overboard for many years.

Now we know people who are facing foreclosure and bankruptcy because they amassed debt when the economy was better, and that makes us both very grateful for what we own outright, and for the debts we haven't accumulated. I've always been very happy with the choices we've made--the small home we bought, the Honda Civics we paid for in cash--but I think a part of DH always felt like he wanted a nicer car, for example, because he saw so many of his friends driving super nice cars. Now he's happy with what we have, too, because these things don't come with monthly bills since we bought only what we could afford at the time, and that allows us the freedom of feeling safe and secure financially, even in this difficult economic time.

ETA: The downturn has added one very significant stress to my life. A close family member is in serious financial woes, and he has been asking us for money to help him out of it. I keep saying no, and it is causing me a lot of painful stress. I actually think that I hurt my back on Monday night because of it, to be honest.

I'm not a horrible person for saying no, by the way. A) I would never see this money again, B) he hasn't worked an honest job in over a decade yet he has accumulated more debt than anyone should be allowed, C) this would be a bottomless pit--$4,000 now would last for a few months, and then there would be another series of requests for money after that. He is not in danger of losing his place of residence (he rents) or his car, so he will have shelter and access to a means of getting to a job, should he so choose to find one. Gah. This has been really difficult for me, and it actually feels a bit better so "tell" someone about it. I'm wracked with guilt, but I'm standing firm in my belief that I would only be enabling him to continue living off of others, as he has done for over 30 years, if he I gave him money now.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Haven, I just want to say to you that I think you are making the right decision. It is not fair of any family member to ask you
to bail them out of past mistakes. It leads to irresponsibility many times. We have to own up to our mistakes and make our
own changes. If the situation was different and someone had an issue that was not born from irresponsibility I am sure you
would offer help.

I wish I was as frugal as some of you. I do bake a lot, and cook most meals but I could do better. The economy is making me
re-evaluate my choices. It is a slow lesson to learn. We are doing fine, but it has affected the overtime my husband is able to
work. We have always used that for extras like private school and college tuitions. We have a fair amount of savings, but I
really don't want to dip into it.

I love to hear all the ways people have changed their habits. There is a new show coming on early november I think that deals with
it. I am looking forward to watching it. It is a lesson I want to learn.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Haven, you're doing the right thing. My dad's stepmom was like that. He helped her out with some money and then hadn't heard anything from her for five years until she called asking for money again. This time he didn't bite.

Steal, that's great that you grow your own veggies! I plan on trying that myself next year once we have the spiders under control Is it something that you have to tend to daily or is once or twice a week enough?

 

[Haven]

Thanks for your support, ladies. It's been a very difficult thing, as I'm sure you can understand, and it feels good to be supported. Thank you.

 

[Octavia]

Haven, I agree that you're doing the right thing. It's one thing to give or lend money when it really helps the recipient, but quite another when it simply enables them to continue bad habits without learning or changing anything.

I was fortunate to have a job when I finished law school, but many of my friends did not. The economy caused us all a LOT of stress last year. And even though everyone we know is telling us to buy a house, the economy has a lot to do with why DH and I are holding off -- he works for a nonprofit organization and even though it probably will be fine, finances there are a bit shaky. And my job is a two-year appointment, so who knows what I'll find afterward. It just seems so much safer to keep renting for the time being. Even if one of us wasn't working, we could make our rent for quite a long time; using up a huge chunk of savings plus adding another loan payment is a scary thought.

 

[lyra]

I've spoken before about how we almost became homeless 8 years ago do to my DH being unemployed for 18 months in a 3 year span. Well, this economy is downright scary for me. I have nightmares and sometimes even panic attacks that it could happen again at any moment. In the meantime, we paid off all the debt we had accrued while jobless, which was significant. Our savings were gone. Now we have only our mortgage left, which we'd rather not have at our ages, but we were unprepared for so much unemployment and then the UNDER employment that followed. Even this year, in the last few months, my DH's company was merged with another huge company that fired some 1200 people. I was fearful daily, but we so far have made it through and have been assured that he is safe. I just never feel safe anymore. Our mortgage is low enough though, that if he had to, he could take a lower paying job now that our other debt is gone. It's hard times for so many people, and I'm in Canada where we haven't had the real estate crisis hit quite so hard. Just dealing with inflation is hard enough. We even took a 1/3 hit to our investments in the past few years. We've made a significant investment now that will hopefully come to fruition in the next 2 years. It would be our retirement fund really, since DH has never had a job that offered a pension plan and our registered savings took that big hit anyway. Sigh. Do what you can, save where you can I guess. It's hard doing all this at age 50 when you want to be winding down, believe me.

 

[Kaleigh]

Haven you are definitely doing the right thing.

This economy has definitely changed me. I am not spending a dime I don't have to. I am scared stiff about what's ahead.
We are cooking a lot more, and really enjoying it..

Dh got the credit card bill, and had to look at it twice, as it was so low!!!

Feels better to be saving where ever we can....

 

[ksinger]

It hasn't changed me much. But then I have been pretty frugal all my life. The result of a mother who saved everything and made things out of garage sale finds I suppose. I'm still trying to get rid of "stuff". Being an only child actually has its drawbacks, as you onlys will find one day when your parent(s) die and leave you E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. And the hubs is only one generation removed from the farm mentality of do-it-yourself. And we have a basic pessimism. We never had a mental shock from this downturn because we were raised to undestand that life is very uncertain. It sounds grim, but it actually enables you to roll with the punches better, I think.

This economy does scare me some, though, because if I lose a job now, so close to 50, it will be very hard to find another, and our finances may NOT recover. I suspect we could live a good long time on his income - maybe 5-7 years, and of course there is no guarantee that I couldn't find work.

But I balance the pulling in that that would prompt, against the visceral knowledge that my life is more than half over and I could be dead tomorrow. If I wait to do, or have, too much longer, I probably won't be ABLE to, ever. The clock is ticking. So we do allow ourselves some stuff.

Would it have been more financially prudent to NOT let my husband have his sailboat? ( a $3000 expenditure + upgrades). Probably. Could we swing it? Heck yeah. Is it his stress-outlet and does it please him down to his toenails and make him a happier husband? YES! Money well spent. I won't look back and say, "Wow, hon, we never should have bought that boat."

We've tried to hit a balance, he and I. The future can't be predicted, so we'll go forward as we always have.

 

[Liane]

Haven, I'm sorry that the decision is causing you stress, but everyone in this thread is right: you're doing the right thing by not being an enabler. I'm dodging a similar situation right now by pretending to have no money so that I don't get asked, although I suspect my cover is going to get blown in a couple of months. It may cause some drama when the time comes, but I'll just have to deal when and if that happens.

The economy has not changed my situation, except to make me more conscious of, and grateful for, how secure my job is. A lot of my friends haven't been so fortunate. It's incredibly tough for everyone right now, but new grads with a lot of student loan debt are just getting destroyed out there.

 

[sparklyheart]

All of the economic changes have made me so much more grateful for everything I have. I don't know if my recent changes have more to do with the economy or my income. I voluntarily dropped down to part time at work so I could finish grad school with less stress.. This however meant I had enough money to cover bills and occasionally going out with friends, but not much else. I stopped buying things that I don't need.. Even a $5 item is enough to make me think twice. I need to get better on eating out vs cooking though, that's for sure. I just got a new job thanks to my new degree and I am unbelievably thankful for that. About half of my class can't get jobs right now and I can't even imagine.. We've always been promised jobs because of our degrees but now the jobs just aren't there.. Luckily though, everyone in my class already has their old jobs..just not a job using their degree. It's funny to me because even as my income is increasing, I'm becoming more and more frugal and trying to find ways to save. Even though I haven't lost my job or my house or anything, I know it's a very real possibility and want to protect myself as much as possible.

 

[Sizzle]

True indicator of my financial changes, today is trick or treat and i gave out the "cheapie" candies. I used to be the snickers and m&ms house, but it just seemed excessive this year. I have also limited each child to two pieces where I used to give handfulls.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

The bad economy hasn't really changed me or my husband that much. We bought our first house last year and used the $8K tax credit to pay off most of our debt. Otherwise, we are squarely lower-middle-class people that work out of necessity. If one of us loses a job then it's only a matter of time before things snowball. We earn enough to sustain our modest lifestyle, but not enough to really save a lot of money, and certainly don't earn enough to have that magical 6 months to 1 year of income in savings as an emergency fund.

Honestly, it seems like every time we get a bit of money in savings something happens and POOF - it's gone. In fact, once our $8k was spent on our debt, it wasn't long before we found out we're expecting our second child so now we're saving what would have been my car payment so I can afford to take a measly 8 weeks maternity leave. It is frustrating for me and makes me sad. I hate money, dealing with it, talking about it, spending it and trying to save it

Other than my personal situation, many of you know that I work as a paralegal for a bankruptcy attorney, so the economy has helped our business. When unemployment is high, when jobs leave the area and when there are a lot of foreclosures we get more business. In fact, when GM started talking about going bankrupt my boss and I had several conversations about how to handle the increase of business we'd get should the Toledo Powertrain plant close. It didn't, since the government bailed them out, and we were a little disappointed (as bad as that sounds) because we stood to gain so much from it.

 

[yssie]

DH and I are young, and we've never lived out on our own in a good economy, so we really just don't know what we're missing, I guess. My image of the "good times of the 90s" is so far removed from the reality of what I see and how I live, it may as well be a fairytale!

We don't have kids and we rent, so we only have ourselves and our three cats to worry about, no student loans thanks to our parents' generosity, and we pay literally everything with cash - rent, cars, medical bills.. I'm looking forward to DH finishing his PhD and taking an industry job so we can put that much more into savings.

Haven - I think if you've tried helping him before and he's broken his promises to work toward self-sufficiency, pay you back, etc. then you're absolutely justified in not enabling this continuation of poor lifestyle choices. But, I can believe that that knowledge doesn't make it less difficult when he pleads

 

[Miss Sparkly]

True indicator of my financial changes, today is trick or treat and i gave out the "cheapie" candies. I used to be the snickers and m&ms house, but it just seemed excessive this year. I have also limited each child to two pieces where I used to give handfulls.

Too bad I can't give you my candy! I have 6lbs of good stuff. Thought we'd have a lot of kids since we live in such a large and busy area and so far the count is at 4

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Haven-I agree that you are totally doing the right thing!

My old job had a lot of stress due to the economy, my new job is better financially but isn't a great work environment so it's tough situation to be in. I make much more than DH (though I work in the non-profit sector, so it's not a huge amount of money...), but his income was definitely important to us. DH got unexpectedly laid off 2 weeks ago, that was a whammy. We can just swing things on my salary, so he is going to go to just go back to school full-time (or almost full-time) in the spring to start a career change into medicine. That's a huge change in our financial circumstances. We were already living relatively frugally, but we are cutting back much more now. Plus, we're in the process of trying to adopt, so we are directing any spare cash towards that...

 

[packrat]

DD007, I totally can relate to your issues! We've been kicked in the teeth so many times I couldn't even relate them all..and some of them happened when we were already curled up in the fetal position from other blows. We've never recovered from our first year of marriage and the cards we were dealt from things that happened years and years before that turned up to haunt us and take the savings that I had worked so hard for before we got married. I've had go-rounds w/my gramma and my parents over finances too, and can't seem to get them to understand that they can't compare how things were 35 years ago to today.

 

[zoebartlett]

I thought of another way we're affected by the economy. We own a condo that we can't sell right now unless we do a short sale. That's not an option for us, so we're stuck with it. Luckily, we're renting it out and our tenant just renewed her lease. She'd like to be a long-term tenant, and she thinks of the condo as her home (meaning, she treats it very well, and she's asked us if she could make a few updates). We've been happy to do most of what was on her list if it means keeping her there. So far, so good.

When we moved back to our home state, people asked if we were going to rent or buy. Well, considering that we own a condo that we're stuck with, we're not in a position to buy a second place. I was kind of surprised to hear that question. We're renting a condo in another town and we're very happy here. I wish we could buy something else because interest rates are so low, but it's not in the cards.

 

[zoebartlett]

Lyra -- I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things remain stable for your husband's position. What a tough time you've been through!

 

[elrohwen]

I can't say that it has. DH and I were always cheapskates and good savers, and we've remained that way. I did go through a long period of unemployment, but since the job I left was truly awful, it was quite a relief to be out of there and I wasn't really depressed to be out of work. My time of unemployment also made me glad that we have always lived below our means - we were able to live almost entirely on DH's income and save my unemployment checks until I got another job. Now we're saving almost all of my income towards a house.

We're about to start looking for a house and the economy is actually working very much in our favor.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Strangely enough I feel like the recession has changed me in that I've become less penny-pinching.

DH and I have always been cheap. We live significantly beneath our means, have saved and paid cash for cars, do not carry any credit card debt and lived on rice and beans to pay off my student loans (which I regret having ever taken out).

Before the recession we had a plan in place to pay cash for our house--we truly believed in not going into debt for anything, including a house. I became obsessive about saving. In the summer of 2008 we invested the vast majority of our nest egg in order to earn as much interest as we could and finally realize our dream of paying cash for a house. In September of 2008, we lost the majority of the money.

Long story short, we learned a VERY good lesson early in our lives. We changed our investement strategy and came up with a new plan of attack for buying a house, which set us back a year. We were only able to put 30% down on our current house, but I've come to terms with it and am okay. I feel much more confident in our long-term financial strategy.

I also learned that your money can be gone in a day. Literally. So while DH and I still live beneath our means, will never take out a loan for a car and are on a fast-track to pay off our mortgage ASAP, I'm not obsessed. In fact, we've spent a lot more time and money taking vacations over the past two years without feeling an ounce of guilt.

 

[missydebby]

Hi... thought I'd join in. My situation is slightly different. i lived in boom boom Las Vegas from 2000 to 2005. I knew the downturn was coming but not as bad as it did. Why? Because I rented a house in a very middle class suburb and the way my neighbors were spending made no sense. But I do feel for the grace of God go I because it is so easy to get caught up in wanting what everyone normally seems to have. We didn't buy a house because we knew we were moving to Holland. Same reason we didn't buy or lease an expensive car. In fact, had we bought and sold in that time frame, we would have come out gangbusters. But knowing that we would eventually move persuaded us to err on the side of caution, as we didn't want to get potentially stuck.

But back to the point, when we moved to Holland, it was like totally the same as tightening the proverbial belt. They don't do a whole lot of credit here, so we were very limited in what we could buy. We had a house to buy and had to get all new appliances. Taxes are way higher and my husband's pay was lower. (Now it actually all balances out because we've made it back, so to speak, in our free Montessori school, free health care, great public transportation and what not. But at first, it was like taking a 50% pay cut.)

I went from having a personal trainer 3 times a week to none. No coffees. Eating out Dutch fast food 1 time per week as Mom's meal off. I made every other breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Riding the bike in all kinds of weather- good or crappy. And blah, blah, blah. Now I'm used to it, but at first it was super lame.

As far as jewelry buying, well crazily enough I have more money to do that. In the States, we would have had to have 2 cars (plus gas, repairs, insurance, etc.) pay for our daughter's school and save for college, let alone our own retirement. In Holland, we don't need a car, school on all levels is virtually free, and a very good pension system that we supplement. So I actually have more dollars freed up for my Leon addiction. Very weird, I have to say.