Has anyone seen this video from the inauguration?

[YadaYadaYada]

I have pretty much avoided the political discussions but I saw this today and I just feel awful for Melania. Like whatever he said completely crushed her.

http://nymag.com/thecut/2017/01/donald-and-melania-trump-inauguration-smile-video.html

 

[Calliecake]

Stephanie, Do you think this is legitimate and not some doctored video? I feel awful for her seeing this. She does look crushed. I don't see him being a loving and considerate husband to her.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Stephanie, Do you think this is legitimate and not some doctored video? I feel awful for her seeing this. She does look crushed. I don't see him being a loving and considerate husband to her.

IMO it's real, I hope that I'm wrong but I just don't see how this could be manipulated.

Just now editing because I watched the wider shot and that one makes me wonder if she was just smiling because he turned around because it seems she put the smile on when he turned towards her and then her expression immediately changed when he wasn't looking. So perhaps she is just unhappy and putting on a happy face for him?

Interested in what other readers make of this.

 

[the_mother_thing]

If he did say something to her resulting in that face, that is a shame.

Or, was she just smiling when he was looking at her, and when he turned around, she stopped smiling, looked down, rolled her eyes to herself, and thought "just a couple more years and the pre-nup is void; hang in there."

I know I appear to defend him a lot on here, but it's not at all that I like him, and I surely would not want to be in her shoes, no matter how much money or diamonds he offers.

 

[monarch64]

As someone who spent 7 years with a man who would give me withering looks, say horrible things to me under his breath in public, kick me under tables when I wasn't behaving the way he thought I should, I think it's real. The Donald was keeping her in check or scolding her about something. Barf.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I think someone was offering a prayer at that moment; could be she quickly returned to a more 'respectful observation' of that moment once he turned around, thus the quickly disappearing smile.

 

[ruby59]

As someone who spent 7 years with a man who would give me withering looks, say horrible things to me under his breath in public, kick me under tables when I wasn't behaving the way he thought I should, I think it's real. The Donald was keeping her in check or scolding her about something. Barf.

Sometimes when we post here in the heated moment, we forget that many have been through awful things. I am so sorry, Monarch.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

JoCo, I hope you're right about the prayer, that is a much more pleasant thought.

Monarch, I don't even know what to say, obviously I think you are a wonderful, strong, spirited woman and I am so sorry you experienced that abuse. I'm glad you found your way through it, you deserve nothing but happiness in this world.

 

[athenaworth]

As someone who spent 7 years with a man who would give me withering looks, say horrible things to me under his breath in public, kick me under tables when I wasn't behaving the way he thought I should, I think it's real. The Donald was keeping her in check or scolding her about something. Barf.

I got the same yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw it. My ex didn't kick me but the horrible things happened all of the time. Makes me want to hug her.

 

[E B]

Hugs, monnie and athena.

Given all we know about him, I can't imagine Trump being a loving and considerate husband to any woman. Wasn't Melania pregnant with Barron when he said those things on the Access Hollywood mic?

This could be dismissed as a one-off, but there are a couple others from that day of him completely ignoring her. There's one of the two walking up the stairs to greet POTUS/FLOTUS and he walks ahead of her, while both Barack and Michelle greet her and help her up the stairs.

 

[Calliecake]

As someone who spent 7 years with a man who would give me withering looks, say horrible things to me under his breath in public, kick me under tables when I wasn't behaving the way he thought I should, I think it's real. The Donald was keeping her in check or scolding her about something. Barf.

I'm sorry you experienced this Monnie and Athena. I was in a similar relationship with a boyfriend when I was in my mid 20's. I also think he was keeping her in check. No amount of money is worth feeling like that.

 

[monarch64]

As someone who spent 7 years with a man who would give me withering looks, say horrible things to me under his breath in public, kick me under tables when I wasn't behaving the way he thought I should, I think it's real. The Donald was keeping her in check or scolding her about something. Barf.

Sometimes when we post here in the heated moment, we forget that many have been through awful things. I am so sorry, Monarch.

Thank you, Ruby. I appreciate that.

ETA: thanks all for the supportive words.

 

[Calliecake]

Hugs, monnie and athena.

Given all we know about him, I can't imagine Trump being a loving and considerate husband to any woman. Wasn't Melania pregnant with Barron when he said those things on the Access Hollywood mic?

This could be dismissed as a one-off, but there are a couple others from that day of him completely ignoring her. There's one of the two walking up the stairs to greet POTUS/FLOTUS and he walks ahead of her, while both Barack and Michelle greet her and help her up the stairs.

I think so EB. I know Melania was pregnant when Trump grabbed the People Magazine reporter against her will.

I was also glad when the Obamas were so kind to her as she came up the stairs.

 

[OreoRosies86]

As someone who spent 7 years with a man who would give me withering looks, say horrible things to me under his breath in public, kick me under tables when I wasn't behaving the way he thought I should, I think it's real. The Donald was keeping her in check or scolding her about something. Barf.

My ex ushered me outside on many occasions for "serious talks" and the like when my family was around. They all saw it and felt pretty helpless I'm sure. Hugs.

 

[monarch64]

As someone who spent 7 years with a man who would give me withering looks, say horrible things to me under his breath in public, kick me under tables when I wasn't behaving the way he thought I should, I think it's real. The Donald was keeping her in check or scolding her about something. Barf.

I got the same yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw it. My ex didn't kick me but the horrible things happened all of the time. Makes me want to hug her.

I'm sorry to hear that, Athenaworth. That one little glimpse into their relationship gave me a lump in my throat out of compassion for her. She may be a strong woman who is used to being in the public eye, but that day had to have been particularly stressful and I cannot imagine the courage and gumption it takes for her to deal with him. When perfection is expected of you simply because you are expected to be present solely to elevate the other person...it cuts very deeply to be met with their disapproval, and I don't care how confident, well-educated, intelligent, and charming you are. I have yet to see him speak positively of any woman besides his daughter Ivanka (and some of those comments have been weirdly sexual) so I do not doubt that he treats Melania poorly.

OT, but when I watched the footage of them dancing to "My Way," I felt awful for her. He doesn't even know how to dance! They looked like 8th graders on their first date. He seems rather ...unimaginative. Perhaps I'm being petty--I don't usually pay attention to inaugural balls. Maybe the other presidents dance like 8th graders, too.

 

[the_mother_thing]

As someone who spent 7 years with a man who would give me withering looks, say horrible things to me under his breath in public, kick me under tables when I wasn't behaving the way he thought I should, I think it's real.

There are no words; I am sorry you had to endure that sort of horrifying mistreatment.


Regarding the thread topic, I found this, which if you look at the third video down (it's queued up), it's not quite clear: 1) if he made a comment, or was just turning to smile or look at the family; and, 2) if he did make a comment, if it was to Melania, Ivanka or both. Ivanka's face also appears to become more 'subdued' at the same time, but not as 'grimacing' at Melania's.

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/46804_Revealing_Video_of_Donald_and_Melania_Trump_at_Inauguration-_Was_It_Reversed

I don't condone nor approve of any sort of abuse, and if there IS an issue, I will join in with everyone else to call for his removal; but I also don't like to jump to conclusions in situations like this. A picture or video shows only part of the story, as we have learned in other cases.

Melania is a beautiful woman, so I don't mean this bad or the way it sounds, but her eyes and mouth look a little 'taute' (like someone who has had some work done), but I think that's just 'her' (in other words, her look, genetically speaking); and when she smiles, it appears a little forced or strained. So what - on her - looks like a grimace or sadness, may very well be just ... her face. I didn't see Ivanka have any sort of sad or shocked reaction, and she was clearly able to see whatever he said or any look he gave.

 

[athenaworth]

As someone who spent 7 years with a man who would give me withering looks, say horrible things to me under his breath in public, kick me under tables when I wasn't behaving the way he thought I should, I think it's real. The Donald was keeping her in check or scolding her about something. Barf.

I got the same yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw it. My ex didn't kick me but the horrible things happened all of the time. Makes me want to hug her.

I'm sorry to hear that, Athenaworth. That one little glimpse into their relationship gave me a lump in my throat out of compassion for her. She may be a strong woman who is used to being in the public eye, but that day had to have been particularly stressful and I cannot imagine the courage and gumption it takes for her to deal with him. When perfection is expected of you simply because you are expected to be present solely to elevate the other person...it cuts very deeply to be met with their disapproval, and I don't care how confident, well-educated, intelligent, and charming you are. I have yet to see him speak positively of any woman besides his daughter Ivanka (and some of those comments have been weirdly sexual) so I do not doubt that he treats Melania poorly.

OT, but when I watched the footage of them dancing to "My Way," I felt awful for her. He doesn't even know how to dance! They looked like 8th graders on their first date. He seems rather ...unimaginative. Perhaps I'm being petty--I don't usually pay attention to inaugural balls. Maybe the other presidents dance like 8th graders, too.

I beginning to understand why Trump hits me so hard in the gut any time I see him. There are so many abusive triggers coming from him that it makes me turn into a shell again. I mean, the gaslighting alone is enough to make me want to hibernate for the next 4 years. Monarch, I'm sorry you went through the same. Things like this are why we women need to support each other and lift each other up, even if we don't have the same political views.

 

[Bonfire]

I've taken notice of how he appears to treat her. Walking ahead of her with no regard for her. Even after the debates when the families would join the candidates on stage, he barely acknowledged her. I feel sorry for her. Don't bite my head off...I know, she married him!

 

[monarch64]

As someone who spent 7 years with a man who would give me withering looks, say horrible things to me under his breath in public, kick me under tables when I wasn't behaving the way he thought I should, I think it's real. The Donald was keeping her in check or scolding her about something. Barf.

My ex ushered me outside on many occasions for "serious talks" and the like when my family was around. They all saw it and felt pretty helpless I'm sure. Hugs.

I'm sad to hear that. Hugs back.

 

[Calliecake]

I've taken notice of how he appears to treat her. Walking ahead of her with no regard for her. Even after the debates when the families would join the candidates on stage, he barely acknowledged her. I feel sorry for her. Don't bite my head off...I know, she married him!

No matter which side you are on politically, it's never easy to see a woman being treated badly by her husband.

 

[athenaworth]

I've taken notice of how he appears to treat her. Walking ahead of her with no regard for her. Even after the debates when the families would join the candidates on stage, he barely acknowledged her. I feel sorry for her. Don't bite my head off...I know, she married him!

No matter which side you are on politically, it's never easy to see a woman being treated badly by her husband.

Exactly. You just can't help but feel for a person who may be in a bad situation like that.

 

[Calliecake]

I've taken notice of how he appears to treat her. Walking ahead of her with no regard for her. Even after the debates when the families would join the candidates on stage, he barely acknowledged her. I feel sorry for her. Don't bite my head off...I know, she married him!

No matter which side you are on politically, it's never easy to see a woman being treated badly by her husband. It's sad

 

[momhappy]

They are surrounded by people.....who could see and hear everything......I seriously doubt he said something nasty to her in the middle of his inauguration - and I don't even like the guy. I really hate to speculate on these types of things because we can never truly know what's gone on. I know I wouldn't want outsiders making guesses about my marriage based on little snippets of our life Anything is possible though.
I admit, they do seem to be pretty independent from one another and maybe that's just their relationship. She seems like a strong woman and I would guess he travels a lot, so maybe it's just their relationship.

 

[Bonfire]

From what you can see on this video, it's not that he may have said something to her, but she looks crushed perhaps because of his treating her as invisible, not worthy of his slightest attention or notice. No, we shouldn't judge other's marriages, but being in the public eye some of this is obvious.

 

[ruby59]

I've taken notice of how he appears to treat her. Walking ahead of her with no regard for her. Even after the debates when the families would join the candidates on stage, he barely acknowledged her. I feel sorry for her. Don't bite my head off...I know, she married him!

No matter which side you are on politically, it's never easy to see a woman being treated badly by her husband. It's sad

I am sorry to all the women here and everywhere who were married to monsters.

And in that respect I can understand and appreciate your sensitivity when you see a man doing it to another woman.

As far as what happened in this photo I cannot comment because I just do not know.

 

[athenaworth]

They are surrounded by people.....who could see and hear everything......I seriously doubt he said something nasty to her in the middle of his inauguration - and I don't even like the guy. I really hate to speculate on these types of things because we can never truly know what's gone on. I know I wouldn't want outsiders making guesses about my marriage based on little snippets of our life Anything is possible though.
I admit, they do seem to be pretty independent from one another and maybe that's just their relationship. She seems like a strong woman and I would guess he travels a lot, so maybe it's just their relationship.

There may have been just a look. My ex could give me a look and I'd be reduced to nothing, and sometimes it was him NOT doing something that would hurt.

 

[monarch64]

They are surrounded by people.....who could see and hear everything......I seriously doubt he said something nasty to her in the middle of his inauguration - and I don't even like the guy. I really hate to speculate on these types of things because we can never truly know what's gone on. I know I wouldn't want outsiders making guesses about my marriage based on little snippets of our life Anything is possible though.
I admit, they do seem to be pretty independent from one another and maybe that's just their relationship. She seems like a strong woman and I would guess he travels a lot, so maybe it's just their relationship.

I seriously doubted that my ex would continue smashing ornaments off the Christmas tree WHILE I was on the phone with his dad trying to get him to come over and calm him down in order to avoid calling the police and having to deal with the possibility of both of us being arrested.

I seriously doubted that my ex would call my mother a See You Next Tuesday over the phone while she had my dad on another extension and he knew it.

I seriously doubted he'd knock down a door in our apartment and grab me by the arm so hard that the next day while I was trying on wedding gowns with my bridesmaids and mother present I had bruises (and have the snapshots as a reminder.)

Why did I go through with marrying him? I was young, I was in a city where I didn't know many people outside of work, and my ex knew how to use my weaknesses against me. He knew my father didn't know we had moved in together, and he'd threaten me with telling him. He also liked to tell me no man would ever want me because I was damaged goods now that I'd lived with another man. I'd already accepted his proposal. I didn't want to admit failure. I selfishly didn't want to give up the lovely platinum solitaire he'd given me, and I didn't want to call off the beautiful wedding we were planning. I seriously doubted any of those things would ever happen to me.

I seriously doubted that he'd continue abusing me even after his friends and family witnessed these things. His father's excuse was "well, he's always had a temper" with a resigned sigh.

My point is not to assume or doubt that an abuser will hide his abuse from others. Many of those people don't want to or aren't willing to leave his side for various reasons and he's in a position of great power and control. Don't think for one minute that he might not have all of them either charmed, paid off, or scared shitless, too.

Abuse is a serious accusation and I'm well aware of it. I questioned for years whether it was actually happening to me or if I deserved those things because I was stubborn and wouldn't listen and talked back. It took a lot for me to leave. Everyone around me wanted to pretend it wasn't happening. Everyone seriously doubted that the wonderful friend and super cool guy they knew would be an abuser. I think they thought maybe it was "just our relationship."

 

[momhappy]

That may be the case, but I know that BOTH my husband and I have a "look" when we are trying to convey something without speaking. Again, I really don't think it has to mean anything - maybe it does and maybe it doesn't.
I guess it feels kind of weird for me to speculate and like I mentioned before, I wonder if people sit around and make judgements about my marriage based on a single interaction with my spouse? Every couple is different. If the Trumps are happy, great, if not, I guess I wouldn't be surprised.
I can understand that some of you have gone through abusive relationships. I'm not saying that I know what's going on in that tiny video clip - what I'm saying is that we don't know and I'm fine with not knowing. Many of us have dealt with different forms of abuse and that's all I'd care to add.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I've taken notice of how he appears to treat her. Walking ahead of her with no regard for her. Even after the debates when the families would join the candidates on stage, he barely acknowledged her. I feel sorry for her. Don't bite my head off...I know, she married him!

I noted the same thing, and how he didn't wait for her at the limo, the arrival at the WH, etc. and it was a bit 'reminiscent' to me as well, but for slightly different reasons. And I genuinely want to choose my words carefully because I don't want to offend anyone who has lived through abuse AT ALL, or appear to be defending an abuser, so please know that I am not speaking from 'that' perspective.

Chump is well known for his ego - there is NO denying it, and I surely wouldn't try. As much as I would like to see all men behave chivalrous, kind, loving, etc., all of the time, the reality is that not all men are. Some are more brash, selfish/self-centered (in a 'just don't think about that stuff' way), and just not as 'loving' as we might want them to be or think they should be. It doesn't mean they are necessarily bad people; it's just their personality or nature. It's reminiscent to me because my ex was a bit like that - not a mean, bad or abusive person in the least; he just wasn't as 'emotional' a guy as some are, and at times he came across as arrogant or thoughtless, but he was incredibly kind, loving, passionate, etc. We talked about it, and I know it wasn't directed at or about me, or that he didn't love me; it was just his nature, how he was built. It wasn't about power, control, etc. These are not always easy men to love.

The reason I share this is (and again I am not making excuses for an abuser or trying to blame the victim), Melania IS an accomplished, intelligent, strong woman, and I don't think she is hurting for (his) money, which I understand is a reason some who are being abused feel trapped. I feel that in her position, if there is abuse, she is in quite a powerful position herself to bring him down. It could be that he is just "one of those types", and she knows & accepts him as is, and loves him despite his MANY, MANY faults.

But if he IS abusive, as I said earlier, I am all for her bringing him down, him being removed from office and being dealt with to the fullest extent. I truly hope that is not the case (for her sake), and he is just the brash ass we all know him to be.

 

[monarch64]

That may be the case, but I know that BOTH my husband and I have a "look" when we are trying to convey something without speaking. Again, I really don't think it has to mean anything - maybe it does and maybe it doesn't.
I guess it feels kind of weird for me to speculate and like I mentioned before, I wonder if people sit around and make judgements about my marriage based on a single interaction with my spouse? Every couple is different. If the Trumps are happy, great, if not, I guess I ow;don't be surprised.

I understand your point. I hope you understand mine.