Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Good Wishes for X?

Jambalaya

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 2, 2014
Messages
3,554
I am very fond of X, who is a person at my care facility and someone I've known for a few years. I respect X. Poor X was born with one arm and no mother, who died in childbirth. X went on to make a fabulously successful career against all the odds. Even though X achieved a scholarship to a top private boarding school when young, X was not allowed to go or have much of an education at all, but succeeded in life anyway. Some people think that X is uncaring and abrasive and snobbish but X paid for a homeless person to go to college and also for a troubled young man to go away to school and escape a bad home life.

X is dying tonight. After all the challenges that have been overcome, X will not even see 60. X has had terrible health issues in the last four years, and here we are tonight, at this crossroads, really suddenly. X was only supposed to be here for some recuperation. I know that X will be released from suffering, but this twilight between life and death is a unique and bittersweet place. I want to reach out and pull X back from the edge, but it would work about as well as trying to reach through a TV screen and grab one of the characters. I've been working nights and am so tired that I have a bad skin rash. I need to go to bed, like now, but I know that when I wake up, X will probably be gone. I feel that if I don't close my eyes, it won't happen.

So PS friends around the world, please send your good wishes to poor, sweet X tonight. X made the best of everything, but had more challenges than most and will now not have a long old age. Please send X some peaceful, relaxing vibes for the night ahead. Thanks.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,206
Hugs to X ... and to you.
 

december-fire

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 3, 2013
Messages
2,346
Jambalaya,

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm sure you know, logically, that closing your eyes and resting has nothing to do with what happens to X. But I know emotions run high at times like this and logic fades into the background.

What matters is how a person lives his life, not the number of years that he lives. No one knows how long they're granted; 7 weeks, 7 years, or 70 years. We don't have much control over when its our time. But we do have control over what we do during our time on earth.

It sounds as though X persevered, overcame challenges and created a wonderful life that allowed him (her) to create life-changing opportunities for the two individuals you mentioned in your post. That's incredible. Such thoughtfulness, generosity, and concern for others is amazing. I have no doubt that those two individuals who benefited from the actions of X have a much brighter future than they would otherwise have had. I suspect that they will use the opportunities created because of X to 'pay it forward' and help others.

Some people pack a lot of living and compassion into a few years. Their positive impact remains much longer than the number of years lived by the individual.

Although its painful to lose a loved one, I try to focus on the joy and honour of having known them and having them in my life.

I hope X has a peaceful passing.

Sending you comforting thoughts and hugs. You're dealing with something that is beyond your control.
 

KaeKae

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
2,153
I'm sending thoughts and prayers of peace for you and X.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
 

MollyMalone

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 2, 2013
Messages
3,084
Warm wishes to X for a serene passing... and wishing you peaceful slumbers this week.
 

Cluless

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2011
Messages
796
So sorry Jambalaya, Sending thoughts for Peace and Solace for both of you and gentle hugs.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
20,561
I am thinking of you this morning :(sad

I very much hope you and others who are left with the grief of losing X can find peace and comfort today.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
34,144
Keeping you and X in my thoughts and sending peaceful wishes X's way and yours. (((Hugs))).
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 22, 2004
Messages
37,377
Wishes of peace and calmness for X, and peace and closure for you.
 

Jambalaya

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 2, 2014
Messages
3,554
Thanks everyone, and thanks especially to december-fire for writing a lovely long message. X passed away five hours ago, just about 24 hours after I posted this thread. The good wishes obviously worked, because it was peaceful.

I mean, I don't need a ton of sympathy or anything - I wasn't especially close to X. No one was, because there were some deep-seated trust issues there due to teasing and difficulties growing up disabled with no mother, which X made some references to. X was a loner, but someone I'd known for quite some time in our community, and was a person I liked and respected. I just felt very sad that life had unexpectedly come to an end for X. It's always so sad when someone you know dies even if you're not enormously close, and when they're still relatively young. This is especially true when the person hasn't had an easy life. It's such a pity X didn't have more years to enjoy the fruits of success. Poor, sweet X.

Every time someone dies, I just realize fresh how unfair and final death is. There's no more tasting of lovely food or feeling rain on the skin or watching a sunset now, for X. I guess the only silver lining is that there's no more suffering.

I wish Death was a tangible thing so I could pummel it into a million pieces. :angryfire:

Thanks everyone. xxxooo
 

Queenie60

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 15, 2014
Messages
4,298
Jambalaya: I do believe that there is an after life. Something even better. Heaven. X is in heaven - X helped people less fortunate - there is a better place, I do believe. You're a special person Jambalaya. :wavey:
 

december-fire

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 3, 2013
Messages
2,346
Jambalaya|1464232416|4036368 said:
Thanks everyone, and thanks especially to december-fire for writing a lovely long message. X passed away five hours ago, just about 24 hours after I posted this thread. The good wishes obviously worked, because it was peaceful.

I mean, I don't need a ton of sympathy or anything - I wasn't especially close to X. No one was, because there were some deep-seated trust issues there due to teasing and difficulties growing up disabled with no mother, which X made some references to. X was a loner, but someone I'd known for quite some time in our community, and was a person I liked and respected. I just felt very sad that life had unexpectedly come to an end for X. It's always so sad when someone you know dies even if you're not enormously close, and when they're still relatively young. This is especially true when the person hasn't had an easy life. It's such a pity X didn't have more years to enjoy the fruits of success. Poor, sweet X.

Every time someone dies, I just realize fresh how unfair and final death is. There's no more tasting of lovely food or feeling rain on the skin or watching a sunset now, for X. I guess the only silver lining is that there's no more suffering.

I wish Death was a tangible thing so I could pummel it into a million pieces. :angryfire:

Thanks everyone. xxxooo
Jambalaya,

Death can certainly seem unfair. But its not really about fair or unfair; it just is. We want everyone to live a long, happy life and pass peacefully due to old age. But what age would be old enough to make death seem fair. Not that our opinion on that matters; its out of our control. Kind, loving people (including children) are not guaranteed a long, happy life free of disease, heartache or violence.

Feeling anger and a sense of injustice is common when a death occurs. Partly, I suspect, because its easier to feel anger than to bear the pain of loss. Buried beneath anger is often a feeling of sadness. We're sad that the future we envisioned for that person won't occur; but that future wasn't real, it wasn't meant to be. We're also sad because of what we'll no longer have; the person's company and the joy they brought to those around them.

I'm sorry I'm getting so philosophical, Jambalaya. Immediately following a death is probably not the time.

Some people don't like to think or talk about death, but I'm not one of those people. That doesn't mean that I'm not emotionally impacted when I've lost a loved one. When a death occurs, particularly when its been a child or young person, I really struggle with it.

Like Queenie, I believe there is something after death. I firmly believe that people who have passed on are at peace and in a better place. Of course, what I believe has no relevance to anyone else and can't be expected to bring them any comfort.

I should probably delete the above and just send hugs.

Sending hugs now.
 

Jambalaya

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 2, 2014
Messages
3,554
Two things you said really resonate with me, DF. You asked, what age would a person have to be when they pass in order for a death to seem fair? Well, you're right, it never seems fair. Maybe it's not so much their age, as the fact that they are snatched away so suddenly and completely. Something that's remarkable is that even when someone is very ill for a long time - even when someone lingers between life and death for many weeks - there is no real gentle letdown. When you're here, even if ill, there's still hope for you as your loved ones see it, and you bring your whole universe of everything that makes you "you" into your loved ones' lives. And when you're not, you take every quirk, every trait, every speech tic, everything that makes you unique, and it disappears so quick. That's what's makes death so hard to grasp for those left behind. Despite appearances when it comes to longterm sickness, there is nothing gradual about passing away.

You also said, "We're sad that the future we envisioned for that person won't occur; but that future wasn't real, it wasn't meant to be."

Such very, very true words. You're right; we all feel owed this future because we're told that everyone lives so long these days, and the average age of death is 83 or something. Therefore, few people below age 50 have experienced deaths of anyone close. But you're absolutely right; that mythical future is never guaranteed and we expect it but are owed nothing. In the case of X, I always envisioned that we would continue to know each other for years.

I'm not as upset about X as I might seem; it's more that the unexpected and sad death has brought back memories of other bedside vigils.

They say only the good die young. I know we can all mold our experiences to fit our chosen cliche, but honestly, I know a really horrible person who is 100, and I know a handful of people who lost their life partners in their thirties, forties, and fifties, and never found anyone else. Two of them also lost parents at the same time, and all of these people are the nicest you could ever meet.

SO UNFAIR :angryfire:
 

jordyonbass

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Dec 6, 2014
Messages
1,811
That's one of the things that is frustrating about life Jambalaya, it never seems fair. I don't mean to threadjack here but a couple days ago a petrol tanker rolled over on the highway here and landed on a car, killing the driver instantly. Now I don’t know much about the person or their character but I wouldn't say that seemed all too 'fair'.

I have always had what I would call a loose belief in karma but it's the passing of people like X and the person on the highway that reminds me that it's not something that I believe in very firmly. The reality is that while we can try propagate better actions towards each other by performing them and hope society changes (and call it karma), things like death are still indiscriminate.
When your ticket number comes up, that's it. No pushing it back further :(sad
 

Jambalaya

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 2, 2014
Messages
3,554
Hi Jordy, I definitely don't think that sharing your experiences and feelings related to the topic is a threadjack. That poor, poor person in the car. I honestly think that traffic accidents must be high on the list of the most unfair killer events. So very random. One minute you're in great shape, years ahead, all intact, and the next, it's all over. The family must be utterly devastated.

I agree with what you say about karma and your number being up. I've seen a few people who got aggressive cancers and they were very positive and held it at bay with treatments, gave up sugar, drank kale, did everything they could but it steamrollered them anyway.You never know when you're number's up - another reason I love to buy bling and enjoy today instead of squirrelling away funds for a 30-year retirement that probably won't happen.
 

december-fire

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 3, 2013
Messages
2,346
Jambalaya,

I know what you mean about a death triggering memories of others who have passed. Those memories add additional layers of emotion when a loss occurs.

When it comes to lifespan expectations, I have conflicting 'inputs', if you will, that result in me having no idea about how much time I have remaining. I have ancestors/relatives who were active until they passed away at over 100. However, I've also lost two siblings (one was an infant), and have known young children who have died. I'm also aware of many wonderful soldiers, all in their 20's or early 30's, lost during combat missions. Its devastating, seems completely unfair and yet its part of life.

You mentioned the loss of people who pass away after a lengthy illness as still being 'sudden', in the sense that the person is with us until they pass. Unfortunately, that isn't always the case. My experience has been that sometimes the lengthy illness changes the individual. Not just talking about things like alzheimer's, but physical illnesses that negatively impact the individual's personality. To me, its like losing the person before they actually pass. I don't find it to be a 'sudden' loss of the individual when they pass, but I also find that a lengthy illness doesn't mean that we feel 'prepared' for the loss.

Boy, this is a serious topic. I usually like to joke about stuff. But I also like to deal with the not-so-great stuff in an open, considerate and respectful manner. If someone is facing a loss of a loved one, or dealing with a loss, and they need to question, cry, talk, scream, laughingly reminisce, or just sit quietly, then they should be able to do that.

I've never believed in 'karma', but I do believe in life after death. X is at peace and in a better place.

Sending you comforting thoughts.
 
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    Lucky Alhambra Bracelet
    Lucky Alhambra Bracelet
    Handmade diamond studs
    Handmade diamond studs
    5 Diamond Misconceptions: Part 1
    5 Diamond Misconceptions: Part 1

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top