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Good catch by a grandma

TooPatient

TooPatient

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
10,295
Here is a story that will, thankfully, not make national news. Thanks to a grandma paying attention and raising her grandson the best she can, people won't die.

The system is far from perfect -- education, gun control, even parenting. We all make mistakes. We all miss seeing something that should be seen. It happens.

I don't have a direction in mind for this thread. Just sharing for people to read and discuss whatever thoughts. Seeing this (and so close to home) left me pondering a lot of things so I figured you all might be interested also.

http://www.king5.com/mobile/article...und-for-everett-school-shooting/281-518703506
 
I'm sure these parents/grandparents know their charges well enough to know that the journal writings represent a credible threat. But I do have concerns about these stories. Is it possible that kids sometimes write down these terrifying scenarios to exorcise the thoughts, as it were... because they have these fantasies but would never act on them? Wouldn't journaling in that case be preferable to acting on the fantasy? Again, it does seems like there was evidence that these kids were going beyond merely conceptualizing an attack, and I'm glad the grandmother and father called the police... I guess the question I'm asking is whether the police should always be called if a kid writes something like this in a journal. Or maybe it's whether the resulting arrest/investigation should always be publicized. Maybe there are times when the police respond to such a call and don't find a real reason for concern, and those don't make it to the news.
 
The rifle stored in a guitar case coupled with the journal and grandma's intimate knowledge of the grandson all tell me she did the right thing in calling the police rather than confront the 18 year old herself.

In fourth grade my twins were bullied because of their smaller stature and nerdy appearance and demeanor. One had finally had enough of it and told the jerks he had a bomb in his backpack. Well I immediately got a call from the principal at work and rightly so. We talked about it and knowing my kid, he knew it was not a cause for alarm but he had to talk to me. He also told me that if he thought it were a credible problem that he would have to call the police and they would show up to search our house and property. I appreciated this info and was thankful we lived in a tiny town with school officials who don't overreact and know all the kids. Of course then we had the long talk to the boys about anger and responses.
 
VRBeauty said:
Is it possible that kids sometimes write down these terrifying scenarios to exorcise the thoughts, as it were... because they have these fantasies but would never act on them? Wouldn't journaling in that case be preferable to acting on the fantasy?
Click to expand...
Agree. I remember all of the mass shootings where parents/guardians, friends, neighbors adamantly claim they couldn't believe the shooter would ever do such a thing. It all hinges on how well the parent/guardian knows the child. Regardless of whether a parent/guardian believes a child capable of fulfilling such a fantasy, I think at the very least discussing the situation and perhaps arranging counseling, when appropriate, is prudent. The first hurdle is getting a kid to talk to you after finding out the parent/guardian breached privacy by reading a journal/diary.
 
tyty333 said:
Yes, very good catch Grandma!

I think I read another one like this where a girl high schooler was turned in by her father for what she had written in her journal. Looks like
if you're kids have journals you might want to read them...

http://wjla.com/news/local/father-t...rnal-with-plans-of-mass-shooting-at-md-school

I guess that was last March. Not sure why I just heard about it this month!
Click to expand...

Reading journals was one of the things I was reflecting on after reading the article. It is definitely a potential way to stop problems before they start -- including noticing if it may be time to discuss birth control again or whatever is needed -- but I know others who insist it is a breach of privacy and can make it harder for a relationship of trust.

Definitely a question that has no one answer!
 
VRBeauty said:
I'm sure these parents/grandparents know their charges well enough to know that the journal writings represent a credible threat. But I do have concerns about these stories. Is it possible that kids sometimes write down these terrifying scenarios to exorcise the thoughts, as it were... because they have these fantasies but would never act on them? Wouldn't journaling in that case be preferable to acting on the fantasy? Again, it does seems like there was evidence that these kids were going beyond merely conceptualizing an attack, and I'm glad the grandmother and father called the police... I guess the question I'm asking is whether the police should always be called if a kid writes something like this in a journal. Or maybe it's whether the resulting arrest/investigation should always be publicized. Maybe there are times when the police respond to such a call and don't find a real reason for concern, and those don't make it to the news.
Click to expand...

I know some kids definitely do write to let off steam or handle their emotions. How far to escalate is an interesting question. If it stops at just writing, maybe it is worth just keeping an eye on how they are doing? I guess it all depends on the individuals involved.

Funny story...
When I was in high school, I liked to write poetry and starts to books. To challenge myself, I picked difficult topics with lots of emotion. I didn't want to have people pushing me to share my writing so I never told anyone. My mom found one of my poems one day and was very worried because it seemed to be indicating issues we needed to handle. We talked and I let her see some of my other writing. Funny now, but I was not happy at the time!
 
redwood66 said:
The rifle stored in a guitar case coupled with the journal and grandma's intimate knowledge of the grandson all tell me she did the right thing in calling the police rather than confront the 18 year old herself.

In fourth grade my twins were bullied because of their smaller stature and nerdy appearance and demeanor. One had finally had enough of it and told the jerks he had a bomb in his backpack. Well I immediately got a call from the principal at work and rightly so. We talked about it and knowing my kid, he knew it was not a cause for alarm but he had to talk to me. He also told me that if he thought it were a credible problem that he would have to call the police and they would show up to search our house and property. I appreciated this info and was thankful we lived in a tiny town with school officials who don't overreact and know all the kids. Of course then we had the long talk to the boys about anger and responses.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry they were bullied. I had a lot of that growing up and know how much it hurts. The principal was great to call you. Recognizing when someone is just saying something rather than making a serious threat is an important thing for people in those positions. Calling police in could easily have made the situation worse while letting you know gave you the ability to handle it before it could become serious.

I wish all schools could have the small town feel where all of the teachers and parents and kids know each other well enough to discuss things rather than over reacting (or ignoring and finding there was a problem!).
 
Oh no, I think we spoke to soon. There is a "terrible" school shooting going on down in Ft. Lauderdale as we speak.

I cant imagine being a parent and having one of my kids at that school at the moment. My heart goes out to all
the students/parents/teachers.:(
 
TooPatient said:
Reading journals was one of the things I was reflecting on after reading the article. It is definitely a potential way to stop problems before they start -- including noticing if it may be time to discuss birth control again or whatever is needed -- but I know others who insist it is a breach of privacy and can make it harder for a relationship of trust.

Definitely a question that has no one answer!
Click to expand...

I know what you're saying. I would be extremely upset if I found out my parents were reading my journal (ok, so I never had a journal but if I did).
I can tell you without a doubt my mom would have been reading my journal if I had one though (may be the reason I never had one).
I dont think I would read my kid's journal unless I was concerned about something. Just really hard to say. My kids dont keep journals so I dont
have to worry about it. Journals would be too much like school work for my kids!
 
tyty333 said:
Oh no, I think we spoke to soon. There is a "terrible" school shooting going on down in Ft. Lauderdale as we speak.

I cant imagine being a parent and having one of my kids at that school at the moment. My heart goes out to all
the students/parents/teachers.:(
Click to expand...

I saw that. Such an awful thing. I hate to see stuff like this in the news. Schools are supposed to be a safe place for kids to feel comfortable!
 
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