gonna buy an engagement ring for the GF, she wants a HW

[souladventurer]

Okay...so my GF wants a Harry Winston. Now of course a HW will cost me at least $15k right..and i would love to get her the HALO but I don't know what that will set me back....This is how i figure it ...I get her the HW but she def. pays for the wedding..what do you think...before I had planned that we pay for the wedding 50/50. I mean i could tell her 75/25 but that just sounds ridiculous..i want to get her the ring but like i said i think she should pay for the wedding..pretty standard in my book...well need your IMHO..

by the way if you have any other suggestions on getting something unique that would be great..

for example should i just by a loose diamond stone (please tell me where) and then where do i get the setting for the stone....also want to know do i have the stone then shipped straight to the setter..should i use local for the setter. i mean help me understand the logistics...

looking forward to your suggestions...

 

[VRBeauty]

You're kidding, right? About her paying for the entire wedding if you get her the HW, I mean?

I'd suggest you have this discussion with her before you order anything.

 

[mandasand]

In my opinion, if you already discussed paying for the wedding together50/50, you shouldn't go back and tell her to pay for the wedding. The conversation should be deeper than that. If you cannot afford to spend $15k on a ring and contribute to the wedding, then you need to sit down and figure out what both your priorities are. Perhaps you can drop your budget for the ring (and get a non signed piece) and still contribute 50% towards the wedding OR maybe she is ok paying for the wedding herself so you can buy her the HW. But you need to discuss it. After that, come back here and tell us your budget and we can help you.

ERD and other vendors offer HW style settings, if you are open to not getting a signed piece.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Do you mean she wants a Harry Winston STYLE ring? Because a Harry Winston ring is going to cost a LOT more than buying a ring that is similar in design to a HW ring.

Are you sure you want to get married? Because you seem to be concerned about "fairness" in paying for the ring and the wedding. Will not all finances be shared between the two of you when you are married?

There are a lot of questions I could ask, but really, an engagement ring is an expression of a pledge of marriage to her and should have nothing to do with the cost of the wedding. I believe you two need to talk seriously about your finances and expectations of how the wedding will be funded. And no, I don't think she should pay 75% of the wedding costs unless she earns a lot more money than you do and has a lot more savings than you do.

 

[yssie]

Okay...so my GF wants a Harry Winston. Now of course a HW will cost me at least $15k right..and i would love to get her the HALO but I don't know what that will set me back....This is how i figure it ...I get her the HW but she def. pays for the wedding..what do you think...before I had planned that we pay for the wedding 50/50. I mean i could tell her 75/25 but that just sounds ridiculous..i want to get her the ring but like i said i think she should pay for the wedding..pretty standard in my book...well need your IMHO..

by the way if you have any other suggestions on getting something unique that would be great..

for example should i just by a loose diamond stone (please tell me where) and then where do i get the setting for the stone....also want to know do i have the stone then shipped straight to the setter..should i use local for the setter. i mean help me understand the logistics...

looking forward to your suggestions...

You do recognise that once you're married you're both pulling from the same moneypot, right? It makes distinctions like "I'll pay for the ring, you pay for the wedding 75/25" essentially irrelevant, unless you don't plan to combine finances at all.

Or did you mean "your family" or "my family" when you said you/I? If so - you'll have to talk to your families and not make *any* assumptions.

My suggestion: you really need to sit down with her and discuss this, and make your decisions on what to spend on and what to prioritise *together*. Because your assertions on what you feel is standard... don't sound terribly promising: the standard isn't that SHE pays for the wedding, it's that her family pays, which is
A) Only standard if all parties involved feel that way, and
B) How her family should spend their money is absolutely not something that's up to YOU to decide or suggest.

 

[Niel]

Notgetting into any relationship isues I would say
1. see if she will contribute to the ring
2. ask her if she will be ok with a HW style from ERD
http://www.engagementringsdirect.com/harry-winston-inspired-pcid-15.html
3. show her exactly what the budget right now can afford.

What exactly is the budget?

 

[04diamond<3]

Do you mean she wants a Harry Winston STYLE ring? Because a Harry Winston ring is going to cost a LOT more than buying a ring that is similar in design to a HW ring.

Are you sure you want to get married? Because you seem to be concerned about "fairness" in paying for the ring and the wedding. Will not all finances be shared between the two of you when you are married?

There are a lot of questions I could ask, but really, an engagement ring is an expression of a pledge of marriage to her and should have nothing to do with the cost of the wedding. I believe you two need to talk seriously about your finances and expectations of how the wedding will be funded. And no, I don't think she should pay 75% of the wedding costs unless she earns a lot more money than you do and has a lot more savings than you do.

Um - my exact thought. Thinking you need to have a long conversation with her.......

 

[stargurl78]

I'm with the others, I don't see why she would pay for the entire wedding if you buy her the ring she likes. I definitely think the 2 of you need to sit down and have a discussion about all of this.

Plus, your post is kind of all over the place - are you wanting to buy an actual HW ring or a replica? I suggest checking out ERD (Engagement Rings Direct) if you want a replica.

 

[motownmama]

I think he's pulling our collective leg

 

[lisabel]

This is what we pretty much followed when I got married 20+ years ago:

Ceremony
Bride and family pay for church or synagogue, sexton, organist, etc.
Groom and family pay for marriage license and officiant's fee.

Clothes
Bride and family pay for bride's dress, veil, accessories, and trousseau (read: lingerie and honeymoon clothes).
Groom and family pay for groom's outfit.
All attendants pay for their own clothing (including shoes).

Flowers
Bride and family pay for arrangements for church (including huppah if a Jewish wedding ceremony) and reception, plus bouquets and corsages for bridesmaids and flower girls.
Groom and family pay for bride's bouquet and going-away corsage, boutonnieres for men, and corsages for mothers and grandmothers.

Honeymoon
Groom and family pay for complete honeymoon.

Photography
Bride and family pay for all wedding photos and video.

Prewedding Parties
Bride or groom's family plans and hosts engagement party; if there is more than one, bride's family hosts the first one.
Groom's family plans and hosts the rehearsal dinner.
Bride plans and hosts bridesmaids' luncheon.
Groom hosts and plans bachelors' dinner.
Maid of honor and bridesmaids host shower.
Best man and ushers host bachelor party.
Friends may throw additional engagement parties or showers.

Reception
Bride and family pay for all professional services, including food, drink, decorations, and music.

Rings
Bride and/or her family pay for groom's ring.
Groom and/or his family pay for both of the bride's rings.

Stationery
Bride and family pay for invitations, announcements, and wedding programs.

Transportation
Bride and family pay for wedding transportation of bridal party to and from ceremony and reception

You don't have to follow this, it is only for reference.

I guess I didn't realize times had changed that much. You do not need to rethink getting married and you are correct in addressing it just as you are. It is admirable of you wanting to help 50/50. I certainly didn't get that, but nor did I expect it. But as stated above, the conversation needs to be had. Once you do that, you will know how to proceed.

Good Luck!

 

[stargurl78]

I think he's pulling our collective leg

You're probably right, I was wondering the same thing as I was typing a response before!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I think he's pulling our collective leg

You're probably right, I was wondering the same thing as I was typing a response before!

We could only hope. Unfortunately, some posts like this are real.

 

[SB621]

I think he's pulling our collective leg

You're probably right, I was wondering the same thing as I was typing a response before!

We could only hope. Unfortunately, some posts like this are real.

I pretty much agree with DS's first post. About everything else...seriously how unromatic is that. Here is the HW ring YOU wanted...now YOU can pay for the majority of the wedding.

 

[CharmyPoo]

Most newbiews wouldn' know the term "setting".

 

[babyhaley]

you guys scared OP away

 

[bgray]

you guys scared OP away

kind of a relief if so--he scared me