Give me the scoop on weaning from breast to cow's milk

[mia1181]

Hi Guys,

I've done this before in my nannying days but now I can't really remember what to do! I'm looking for advice or maybe sample schedule. Anything!

So DD is just about 1YO. She was nursing 4x a day (morning, night, and after each nap). I just cut out the daytime sessions and gave her cow's milk instead, so now 2x a day. Today I decided to just wean her altogether because:
a. She doesn't really care about nursing anymore, it's more of a habit than anything
b. She LOVES drinking cow's milk from a straw cup(we are a cow's milk family so no need for substitutions).
c. I'm pregnant and don't want to be nursing for 3 years straight!
d. My milk is spiked with all sorts of anti-nausea and anti-constipation drugs that I'd rather her not have.


So my main questions are:
1. Should I still give her a cup of milk in the morning and night? Morning is not a problem. But at night I worry about her teeth. Should I give her the milk, go brush teeth, then read books as her routine? I just feel like the brushing teeth part interrupts the soothing flow of the routine. What do you guys do? I also realize that dental hygiene isn't THAT much of a concern at this age, but the thought of milk on her teeth all night grosses me out (breastmilk on her teeth all night never bothered me).

2. At what age did you guys stop the morning/night milk?

3. Does your LO drink more milk at night? I know the recommended amount is 16-24oz a day, but I'm trying to figure out how to split that. Tonight was the first time I offered cow's milk before bed and it was a disaster! We had to refill the cup 3 times (it only had a little the first 2 times) and even then, I had to put her to sleep clutching the empty cup with a death grip! I would estimate she drank about 12 ounces in that sitting alone. The past few nights she has only nursed for less than a minute and sat up and asked for a book so I doubt she was taking in that much breastmilk. She also had a huge dinner! In the daytime she usually drinks about 4-6oz of cow's milk before tossing the cup aside and crawling away, so I wasn't expecting this to be a problem.


Any answers, tips, suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I just want a way to organize this into a schedule so I know when and how much to offer her.

 

[pancake]

1. There's no hard and fast rule. Milk is milk, doesn't matter what time of the day she has it. I would definitely be doing teeth immediately before bed with nothing in between if she doesn't object. Basically, I think that whatever you do now forms habits for the next little while so if you can get the dental hygiene bit down pat, all the better.

2. My daughter stopped morning and night milk when she stopped her morning and night breastfeeds.

3. See 2; she doesn't drink milk in the evenings at all now.

I only weaned completely at 23 months but even when dropping feeds over the last year or so of BFing, never replaced with cow's milk. It works one way for some, another for another - just depends on you, your kid and the choice you want to make. For me, the priority is simply that S gets enough calcium and my preference is for the source to be varied - so she'll typically have a total of about 200ml of milk (maybe less), 1 or 2 serves of yoghurt, 1 or 2 of cheese. Remember that the calcium content of dairy products varies wildly so check the packaging to see the amount you are giving.

For us - S will usually have about 100ml of milk with breakfast (or she'll have cereal with milk). Through the course of the day she'll usually have a serve of plain/Greek yoghurt with fruit, or one of those squeezy pouches of yoghurt if we're on the go. Typically she will also have a slice of cheese or a piece of Laughing Cow cheese. I offer her the option of milk or water through the day - she will usually want water with meals and milk when she wakes up from her nap. We often share a banana smoothie (made with full-cream milk and Greek yoghurt, a little honey, cinnamon) if I am home as well.

On the excessive side of things, if your daughter is a CM guzzler, I would definitely cap the volume of cow's milk - at around 500ml/16oz or thereabouts. More than that and she risks running into issues with appetite and iron absorption.

 

[mia1181]

Thanks so much Pancake! You are the best!

I should clarify that I am not worried about capping her milk consumption. I've known kiddos with poor nutrition because they were filling up on milk. I just feel like it is strange that she was drinking it more at night. I'm sure some of it has to do with the novelty. I think it makes sense to keep milk on the lesser side since she does have other dairy in her diet. She has yogurt almost every day, she's not crazy about cheese (I still offer it because I think it's a texture thing that she will outgrow), but loves cottage cheese.

So are you saying that at her age she might not need any milk or food right before bed? Dinner is at 5 and she sleeps 7-7 every night. That would be great if I could do that. I guess I am just worried about her losing the comforting/routine of nursing. But ultimately, I want to know that she will not be hungry.

Another question along the same lines: She wakes up STARVING every day. I don't know if it has to do with my milk but I was nursing her both sides in AM (I usually alternate) and then she would have tantrums until I fed her real breakfast. I finally figured out she would be in a great mood if I just got up immediately and gave her breakfast. Is that normal? Almost every baby I know will have a little milk in the morning and then hang out for a bit before breakfast. I feel like I am on the clock from the moment I open my eyes to get food in her belly!

We have always done bath, brush teeth, nurse, bed because she would fall asleep nursing so I guess I was getting hung up on where to fit the not-so-soothing task of brushing teeth (she likes it but we are working on letting me brush before it's "her turn" so sometimes it can be a struggle). Another huge plus is that she is obsessed with books, so maybe that can just take the place of nursing after her teeth are brushed.

 

[pancake]

You are exactly right to persist with offering her foods that she currently doesn't like. It is such an easy pitfall that one - kid refuses X so it's no longer offered, which entrenches the dislike. I read somewhere that with toddlers you often have to offer a food in excess of TWENTY times before he/she will try it!

I don't think you need to worry too much about hunger overnight. As you point out, she probably wasn't getting that much from her evening BF anyway, so if it makes you feel better you could offer her a cup of milk before she does her teeth and bedtime story, but otherwise I wouldn't worry. As mothers we ALWAYS worry about our kids going to bed hungry - I know I do! But for example, randomly, about once a month, my daughter will just outright refuse her dinner (who knows why?? She's 2, lol) and she is always fine. Same thing with when she was younger - sometimes she just wouldn't eat ANYTHING at dinner time and she always slept through until her usual time.

I see no problem with going straight to breakfast, either! We dropped the morning feed before we dropped the evening feed, and we actually found that S wouldn't eat breakfast straight away - she would want a bit of time to "wake up" before eating. But every kid is different, and if your daughter will wolf down her breakfast at 7am, then all the better/easier for the family routine!! It might just mean that she needs an earlier lunch or a bigger mid-morning snack. But as long as she is getting enough calcium, then you don't need to worry about when/if she drinks milk. S wouldn't drink cow's milk at all until a few months ago - now she likes it, but only cold, and only in small amounts - 2 or 3 oz at a time. I just made sure she had cheese, yoghurt, etc, and that she was receiving enough calcium through the day.

 

[mia1181]

Thanks so much for all your tips and reassurance Pancake! I feel like I'm stealing free advice from you but it's so helpful! We were more casual with the milk today and it went really well. She fell asleep with no problems tonight and I feel great that weaning was so easy and she is doing fine eating like a big kid. Thanks again for your advice. I said it already but you really are the best!

 

[pancake]

Great news mia! I am glad to have been able to give you some reassurance. Also very glad to hear that your little one is making weaning an unstressful experience for you - I had very mixed emotions about weaning (actually, I was mostly just sad - S was fine!) and it makes it much easier when it's not a struggle!

 

[lliang_chi]

Mia, add me (or rather Ethan) to the list of kiddos who demand to eat first thing in the morning. I go to get Ethan and the first thing he usually says to me is, "Eat." He often eats a banana and a cutie orange right when he wakes up. Then he'll putz around while I get his real breakfast ready. Which is usually an omelet/waffle, some yogurt/bowl of cereal and milk. Sometimes he'll eat my oatmeal

Re: the milk consumption, I'd say O sounds like she's getting a good variation of calcium rich foods with what you're offering her. I hope the switch to cow milk continues smoothly for you. Ethan was OK with switching but he just doesn't drink much milk. He eats ceral most days for breakfast at daycare, and I think he drinks a good amount of milk there too (peer pressure). But at home he maybe drinks 10 oz.

 

[brown_eyes]

Great advice here.

I just wanted to add (because E fell into this group), that not all kiddos will smoothly transition to cows milk. She never drank more than 5-10 oz a day, and that was a struggle. My doc said it was more important that she got calcium, fat and vitamin D. She always loved yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese, avocados and sweet potatos, so I learned to not push so hard on the milk. She was never a huge milk drinker, but I would make banana milk (blended banana mixed in) and that's the only way she would drink any milk for months. Now at 2 she will have milk with cereal and every once in a while she will ask for a cup of milk. She's still a huge yogurt eater, so I don't worry.

I just wanted to add our experience for any moms worried about their kid not drinking the recommended amount of milk.

 

[pancake]

Yep, the idea of a "recommended milk intake" is a furphy after the age of about 12 months. Once they're eating a broad and varied diet (which, after 1, should form the bulk of their nutrition), it's recommended calcium intake that's important. There's nothing special or magical about milk, it's just the calcium content! (which, mind you, varies between products so CHECK LABELS!)

 

[missrachelk]

My H LOVES milk. If her growth and interest in a variety of foods are both good should I be concerned or measure her milk? I don't even count how often she gets milk in a day. Every couple hours about 4 oz I'd say. We did baby led weaning for solids and she's always eaten just about anything. No standing refusals, only day to day opinions. She's in the 90th % for both height and weight.


For weaning, she was on formula and had nursed and had donor milk her whole life. I just tested if she liked a bottle or two, then switched one day. We transitioned away from bottles abou a month later ( that was harder for us. Lots of spilled milk LOL)

 

[mia1181]

Pancake I agree! Weaning was harder on me than her! I am totally grieving the end of an era. I miss our little cuddle time already. But I'm glad she doesn't seem to miss it, I would feel extra guilty. I think this will work out well because it will give her some time to forget about it before she sees #2 doing it.


LC I am glad Ozzie isn't the only kiddo that wants breakfast ASAP, but I'm the type of person that needs a little time to wake up and get things going. Bananas and oranges are a great ideas to give me a little time! Thanks for those ideas!


BrownEye I definitely think my DD is in the minority for liking milk from the get-go. Almost every other kid I know had to be gradually introduced to it by mixing it with formula or breastmilk. It sounds like E is getting plenty of calcium though!


MRKI think the only time you would need to measure how much milk she is drinking if:
1. You are concerned about her weight (under or over)
2. You are concerned that her diet isn't varied enough
3. You are concerned that she isn't getting adequate nutrition (vitamins etc.) because she is drinking milk when she could be eating other things.
4. Maybe constipation/bowel issue?

It sounds like she is eating well and healthy so you are probably just fine. I think the reason they put out those guidelines is for the concern of childhood obesity and because often times parents are so in the habit of huge bottles of formula/breast milk, that when their children turn one they treat cow's milk as if it is the main source of nutrition (like formula/breast milk was) and give them way too much. I know so many parents who can't figure out why their toddlers aren't good eaters and they just don't realize they get full on milk (or worse juice) that they just don't have any room for food.

LOL on the spilled milk! O has been using a straw cup with water for practice for a few months so we use that, but today I didn't have any straws clean so I gave her a sippy cup (which she does not know how to use) and there was milk everywhere!

 

[missrachelk]

I know several friends and I have personally had the best luck with the super cheap take and toss sippy cups (hard spout). Can't beat a 4 pack for 2.99 - we have like 12 in rotation.

We do milk just in these now, and offer water either in these too, or a straw cup, or an open cup at mealtime.

I have one really cool cup by avent, that helps to teach how to really drink from an open cup. It's a valve that goes all the way around the rim and when the top lip touches it that opens the valve. Make sense? I think this helped H a TON. We used that for a few months, then switched to an open cup for water (but only with meals, when restrained in the high chair!) I can see how proud of herself she is when she holds that little cup and drinks her water. And she gets to dip food in and 'rinse' it. Somehow soggy broccoli is MUCH more delicious to her LOL Yes there are messes but I think it's totally worth it. I remember reading somewhere that drinking from an open cup is important for oral development.

 

[mia1181]

Yep open cup is important for development, straw cups too, but not sippy cups. O can drink from an open cup but is still messy with tipping but we usually use straw cups. The take and toss straw cups are my favorites! I just gave her a sippy because I didn't want her to make a mess and I guess it backfired! I probably would have had better luck if I left her with an open cup!

 

[dani13]

Speaking of cups, how do you get your kids to learn to drink from a straw?

Thanks for starting this thread, Mia, I am still bf L and he's 17 mths, so I'm thinking its time that it comes to an end. Sad, but true. it's going to be so hard for me.

 

[mia1181]

Hey Dani-

The way I taught O to drink from a straw was to start with just the straw out of the cup. So you know how if you put a straw in a cup of water and cover the top with your finger, the liquid stays inside? I don't know if that makes sense, but I would hold the straw at the top and then put the bottom in O's mouth and release the liquid. This part is just to give them the idea that the straw is for drinking.

I did that a few times then I would only release the liquid if she wrapped her lips around the the straw. Then I would only release if she wrapped her lips and sucked. It's a little tricky because you have to angle the straw so it's as close as you can get it to how she would be drinking from it (you don't want to teach her to drink from it with her head tipped back). After doing that a few times and I could tell she was sucking well, I put the straw in the cup (without the lid) at the regular angle and give her a try that way. And she did it.

I did this all in 1 session, but the second time I just held the straw in the open cup and she forgot so I did it over again. The third day she remembered from the beginning so I put the straw in the cup with the lid and she was able to do it.


Rubbermaid used to make these straw cups that were were like juice boxes that you could squeeze to make the water come up the straw so you could "help" the child suck but I think they make them bigger now, with thicker plastic, so it is more difficult to squeeze. You could try a regular juice box (I don't give kids juice) or now they sell milk in the juice box. You just have to make sure your kiddo will let you control it though, you don't want them to learn to just squeeze the liquid out.

 

[pancake]

Dani we switched to a straw cup at around 7.5 months - I was out at a cafe with S and thought I'd stick the straw of my mango juice in her mouth and see what happened. She had never tasted juice before and the second she got a hint of it, that was it! Straw cups so much neater than sippies, and much more efficient too. For about the last 6 months or maybe a bit longer, we have used just normal cups when at restaurants and cafes, and of course at home, but when we're out and about I still take a straw cup with us as it doesn't leak.

Also - I think weaning is sad no matter when it ends, if it's been a wonderful experience. We finally stopped BFing at 23 months and I felt very emotional!

 

[lauren85]

My daughter is 13 mths and had cows milk on her cereal from around 10 mths. She certainly didn't mind as she was having boiled water on it before that!!
She currently has 2 breastfeeds a day, morning and night. (small ones at that) I try and give her yoghurt and or cheese everyday to make sure she has plently of dairy. She has heaps of water every day. Other nuturients getting to be more important than milk now I think. EVERY child is very different though.

 

[partgypsy]

Yep, the idea of a "recommended milk intake" is a furphy after the age of about 12 months. Once they're eating a broad and varied diet (which, after 1, should form the bulk of their nutrition), it's recommended calcium intake that's important. There's nothing special or magical about milk, it's just the calcium content! (which, mind you, varies between products so CHECK LABELS!)

I agree, at 1 year of age your child should be transitioned from breast milk to eating a wide variety of food. Milk and dairy products being part of it, but no need to substitute cow milk one to one for breast milk.

Some kinds don't like milk. Some love milk. Just everything in moderation.

 

[partgypsy]

Yep, the idea of a "recommended milk intake" is a furphy after the age of about 12 months. Once they're eating a broad and varied diet (which, after 1, should form the bulk of their nutrition), it's recommended calcium intake that's important. There's nothing special or magical about milk, it's just the calcium content! (which, mind you, varies between products so CHECK LABELS!)