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Funny conversations with your young child

Puppmom

Puppmom

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 25, 2007
Messages
3,160
We've had a couple doozies lately and I love hearing the funny things other kids say. I'll start. Please yours!

As I attempt to dress my 3 year old...
Me: are you having a rough morning? You're really giving me a hard time.
DS: nope. I just don't want to do the same things you want to do!

I noticed green apples sitting on the table at daycare...
Me: oh, did you have a green apple at snack time?
DS: no, I don't like green apples anymore.
Me: what kind of food do you like?
DS: anything "becept" (except) green apples. Actually, I only like things made of chocolate.

At lunch:
Me: how many grapes do you want?
DS: five units, please.

Notice he's really digging in his nose...
Me: something bothering your nose?
DS: no, it's just a little bit picky today.

He made an obstacle course...
Me: okay, what do we do now?
DS: let's run around in the "coursicle"!

We try to reinforce what foods "make your muscles grow"...
DS: I ate all my peas. Now my penis will grow!

What funny things does your little one say? Any cute mispronunciations? Please share! My youngest is 15 months and I'm really looking forward to him talking so I can get more giggles!
 
Pupp, these are hysterical! I can't wait until my little guy is able to have a real conversation!
 
DS is 2y4m old right now. He's very adamant about "Don't eat garbage. It's yucky. The fly sit on the garbage and fly AWAY!"

Also whenever our dog sneezes (slobber sneeze) or wipes her slobbery snout on us, my husband and I always tell her, "Ew, that's yucky Quizas." Now E does that whenever she sneezes. <dog sneeze> "Gross, Quizas! Dat's yucky"

I'm sure there's more. Thanks for starting this thread Pupp!
 
B has a word that sounds like "apple," except it's more like "aubble." He uses it as a filler word for a lot of stuff (including apple).

Me: B, do you want a brother or a sister?
B: Apple.

He's only 22 months so no real conversations yet. He does say "ewwwww" every time he sees a bug...no idea where he gets that :roll:
 
Just thought of another one:

This weekend, I wanted E to change out of his pull up in the morning. He was rolling around on the couch, and I just kinda "pinched" his pull up/butt to emphasize how full it was. Ethan immediately whines: "Noooo! No mama. No tickle my butt!"
 
These are so cute. My DS is 3.5 and has been completely obsessed with belly buttons and nipples for the past couple of weeks. He just doesn't get their purpose, why we need them or what they do. We've had many detailed and funny conversations about the necessity and function of those body parts.
 
AMC and Monkeyprincess, the language explosion is coming so be prepared for some laughs!

LC, N bosses our dog around too. I love the odd use of words that happen while they’re developing their vocabulary.

Babymonster, the body part conversations always crack me up. And the bodily functions! I can’t tell you how many times N has peed hands free just so he doesn’t have to wash or he’ll tell me he only “pooped a yittle” so he doesn’t need to wipe.

I thought of another few funny things N often repeats. We ask him if he wants a cup with our without a lid at dinner and it always goes like this. “Do you want a cup with a lid or no lid?” to which he responds, “I want a cup with a yes lid!” And instead of saying a lot, he says a lotta bit. You know the opposite of a little bit.
 
B is 5 and has had some doozies lately:-)

Today, while E was nursing and B was staring at me...
B: mommy, it's hard to see the hole
me: what hole?
B: it's veeeery tiny
me: what hole?
B: the hole in your onoona (his word for b@@b) that the milk comes out of
me: oh...well that's private so you are not going to be close enough to see it
B: sings Daniel Tiger's "we've got to look a little, look a little, look a little closer" song

He often says "bees" instead of "is", e.g. that car bees too fast :love:
 
Oscar is only 18 months, and makes more sounds than speaks words, he says 'mmmmm' every time he eats anything, and says 'aahhh' after a drink. He woofs any time he sees a dog and pretends to blow his nose with tissues, making a shhhh sobs every time. All these things crack us up, so I just can't wait until he starts talking!!
 
Bella, did you manage to keep a straight face? That's a good one!

Dandi, I love the exaggerated "ahhh" after a drink! I'm really looking forward to my little guy talking too. He's in the absorbing phase. He pays such close attention to our mouths sometimes when we talk.
 
My son is 3.5.

We were watching Dinosaur Train and the paleontologist came on the screen.
Me: Do you want to be a paleontologist like him when you grow up since you love dinosaurs so much?
Son: No, I want to be a caterpillar when I grow up!
Me: But you can't be a caterpillar though, you're a boy.
Son: Caterpillar or nothing! What's your choice?

And I am currently pregnant with twins, and I asked my son if he wants little brothers or sisters. He told me he wants sisters, because baby brothers "will take all my stuff!"

I had to go into the kitchen to get something really quick, and my 3.5 year old son and his 1.5 year old little sister were in the living room. I called to my son from the kitchen "What's your sister doing?" to make sure she wasn't up to something and he said "Nothing, she's just being a brat like she always is." OMG, I wonder where he got that one from?
 
I love readings these! I'm actually slightly obsessed with how kids' brains operate. They are truly hilarious little beings.

I have a 2 year old who only says a handful of words. Yet, she always has me laughing.

Arriving home from work--
Me: Hi, Katie!!!
Katie, crossing her arms: "YO!"

At dinner--
Me: Katie, your food is everywhere! What would grandma say?
Katie: BAAA! (like a sheep)

After pulling D's credit card out of his wallet:
Me: Put your father's credit card back, little miss!
Katie: shakes head no and laughs
Me: Will you give it to me?
Katie: Uh oh!

She's also really funny about saying "Oh". Like, if she finds some trash on the floor she'll say "OHHH!" like she's just discovered gold or something.
 
Oliver loves to see his name. He has a canvas in his room with his name on it. "That's my name! My mama gave me my name when I got born out of her belly!!"

Speaking of being in my belly...

Me: Did you know that you lived in my belly?
O: Yeah, I did! With Elliot and Miles!
Me: You were all in there together?
O: Oh yeah we were, all 3 of us!

He puts on DH's shoes and says he's going to work to make the money. Sometimes making the money also involves buying toys at the store for the little ones. "Here you go Elliot, I made the money and got you this car!"

When you turn him upside down, "Shake me and make the money come out of my pockets!"

We went to an open house yesterday and on the way home Elliot and Miles were passing the flyer back and forth. Oliver saw this as them fighting over it.

O: **throws the flyer in the floorboard**
E: starts to protest
O: "No Elliot, you DO NOT get that back, you were not being nice to Miles!"
M: starts to protest
O: "No Miles, YOU do not get that back, you were not being nice to Elliot. You two do not get to have it!!"
 
My 3 year old middle child is a little odd.

DD: "Momma, it's a bug" small beetle in out stretched hand.
DD: "It's dead" looks closely at it
DD: "I think a squirrel ate it's face."

I had no idea how to respond.
 
These are hilarious! My 22 month old has us in stitches alllll the time. The language explosion is quite an adventure.

DD sees cookies:
"Mommy cookie. No Ellie cookie. ::feigns crying:: Mommy cookie but NO ELLIE COOKIE. ::feigns crying::"

Me: "Say, 'May I have one please."
DD: "ABC"
Me: "Not ABC... say PLEASE"
DD: "OH, okay. ABC!" ::wicked grin::

Today she was walking around with a laundry basket on her head saying, "Tut tut rain, tut tut rain." In 'The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh' there's a scene in which Christopher Robin paces with an umbrella and says, "Tut tut, looks like rain!"

I weaned her from BFing around 20 months and now she points to left boob and says, "Baby Brother Booboo," then points to right boob and says, "Ellie Booboo!" as if I'll save one side for her after baby brother's arrival. Ha. Not gonna happen.
 
My son, Will, is 3.5 and talks-talks-talks, coming up with very elaborate and imaginative stories to tell me every day, but he really cracks me up with the way he is exploring his vocabulary and trying out how to use words (often incorrectly, but in funny ways). Yesterday, it had been awhile since he'd gone to the bathroom, so I asked him if needed to pee on the potty and he replied, "Fortunately not, Mom." :D

He doesn't watch any TV (I hate commercials + we don't even have cable/sat) but he has a few shows he can watch on my iPad. One of them is Kipper the Dog, a British show. So now I have a kid who says "let me have a go" when he wants to try something and that he'd "fancy" a snack.

A couple of other favorite stories from last year (I posted these on facebook and had to look when it was; somehow it's funnier knowing how young he was at the time):

Will's attachment item is a special blanket. In case "green blankie" were ever to be lost/ruined, we bought one exactly like it from ebay, but he could tell it wasn't the same one and never took to it. My husband and I called it "the impostor" and Will apparently picked up on it. It sat, unloved, for over a year and then he suddenly started liking it too... only he refers to it just as DH and I did, so now I always wonder what people think when they overhear "Where's my impostor?" and "Can my impostor come too?" and (loudly, in line at the grocery store) "Did we leave my impostor in the car?!?"

Also, he had his first experience with popsicles last summer:

Will: Testicles make my tongue cold!!
Me: Noooo, honey, *POPSICLES* make your tongue cold!
Will: YES! Testicles are reeeaaally cold!
Me: Maybe we shouldn't eat any POPsicles in public for awhile.... :lol:
 
Ponder, your DD sounds a lot like my 5 year old son. Hilarious and a little perplexing all at once:-)

Tara-popsicles definitely might be an at home treat for now!

On the 4th I was trying to blow up B's water wings with no luck. I said, "maybe we need a pump". B said (dead serious, like a little fixer-engineer) "well, we have the breast pump"
 
My son just turned 3, here's a few good ones from recently :)

He brings me my tablet with an ad for a zombie game-
DS: Mommy, can we get this game?
Me: No you're not old enough.

A few days later-
DS: Mommy, I'm old enough now!
Me: For what?
DS: ....for the zombie game?
Me: No you definitely are not old enough!

Where in the world did my kid learn what zombies are? Lol!
__________________
I come home from work

DS: Mommy, daddy was being a farty pants today!
Me: Why do you say that? That's not very nice
DS: Well he won't stop farting!

Can't say I can really argue with that one, haha!
______________________
DS: Mommy, can I have some cake?
Me: No, you didn't eat any of your dinner, you need to eat some.

He then proceeds to return to ask me for cake after every single piece of food he eats. He also opens his mouth to show me he ate all of it *facepalm*
 
We took my daughter to Disney World when she was just turning 4. It was October and we went to the Halloween HallowWishes fireworks display. My husband put our daughter on his shoulders so she could get a better view of the castle in Magic Kingdom. It's really good! Spooky music and lights are cast onto the castle. Everything was going great until Maleficent's voice boomed throughout the park, "WHO DARES blah blah blah," and my daughter screams, "NOT ME, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. TAKE THEM, NOT ME! TAKE ALL THEM!" She then references the entire crowd of families including us. Way to throw us under the bus, kid.
 
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