Frequent upgraders/ changers - are you ever satisfied?

[susief]

I think I might be turning into one...

I've been married for almost 5 years and in that time had two e-rings. I chose both of them (original and upgrade) so obviously picked exactly what I wanted at the time, but found that my tastes changed quite quickly and I was left with a piece of jewellery I didn't really like. I recently sold the upgrade and recouped some money but obviously each "change" involves a significant loss.

I was thinking about a new ring for our five year anniversary but worry that I'll just get sick of that and I'll be right back where I am, having wasted even more money! I've noticed that there are a quite a few "fickle" posters on PS too who have changed a lot, and wondered if they eventually found satisfaction.

Is it me, or have I just not found the right ring?

(FWIW, I am not like this about anything else - I'm perfectly happy with my car, house, DH etc!)

 

[Laila619]

Hi! I was stuck in the endless reset/upgrade cycle and I was so indecisive and unhappy. When I completely stopped buying and changing rings, that is when I learned to be satisfied.

 

[MarionC]

After 18 months of the insanity you are mentioning, I found something I truly love and want to keep. But the urge does not go away to tweak the setting, buy new bands for the ring, upgrade my other stones or re-set them, etc. etc. I still look/shop almost everyday : (

Anyway, it's a fun and relatively harmless "hobby" LOL

 

[azstonie]

I was so shocked my DH greenlighted a diamond that every day I'm still surprised when I see my left hand and I feel really happy seeing the sparkle and fire there. I haven't had DSS although I'd like to try the same diamond in a new and very different setting sometime soon!

I work with a lot of colored stones projects and I guess I get my fill of happy/disappointment doing those.

 

[susief]

Interesting input everyone, thanks! Laila, I think I was getting into that cycle and just need to stop buying. For now anyway... I think a lot of it is the thrill of the chase, and when I actually have something it loses its appeal. I suppose it's better that I have these commitment issues with rings rather than men

 

[daintyG]

My taste has changed a lot since joining PS. I've purchased 3 e rings since joining. I traded one in, so I still have two. I've never had a change of heart and felt that I no longer liked a ring*. However, I have realized that I will always want more and won't be satisfied or done at any time. There are too many diamond shapes and setting styles I would love to have one day.
* so far, although I'm thinking I may rather re-set my cushion someday. I got it two months ago, so I'm going to wait and see if I get used to the soli it's in.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

FWIW, if you take the "urgency or necessity" of having a ring, never mind "the ring" then, I suspect, less changing occurs. After all, those parameters are self imposed.

I really don't think I been there--frequent changing +/- upgrading. I wore one ring for 20 years, then changed shape and size for that "milestone" anniversary. Then, I wore than ring for 10 years until recently, I sold it.

My DH just reminded me it is our 30th this year. What nerve! But I like the idea of having more than one ring--in fact, that is where I "am" now. Much smaller. Branded. Perhaps, colored diamonds?

Success on finding what works for you since it is a personal journey.

cheers--Sharon

 

[SparklySoprano]

I was actually so afraid I would be unhappy or want to change my recent reset. But, what I personally discovered is that the setting I chose has kind of a chameleon effect meaning that in different lighting conditions or angles, it gives me a different vibe. I have found that deeply satisfying and it has completely (at least thus far) satisfied my urge to switch it up. Perhaps if you do change again, you could look for a setting that inspires you from all the different ways it can be viewed. I also have a size that allows me to wear it on my right hand when I'm having a wintery or skinny finger day. That again makes me experience it differently. Former posters have mentioned using different bands to pair it with. I am hoping that someday I can buy a middle band for in-between the wedding and e-ring. Maybe for our next milestone anniversary??

 

[nala]

Guilty as charged. But I don't have any words of wisdom to share. NONE. I think I'm a serial resetter, and I'm not even sure that I want to work on changing that because each time that I reset or upgrade, I am SOOOOOO HAPPY! And then a few months go by and I start window shopping, and the cycle repeats itself. Sorry that I'm no help.

 

[marcy]

I don't have something for more than a day and I am already planning what I might do next. I had the same ering for 16 years; upgraded the band about 10 years in and was quite happy with that set. Then in the last 7 years I have had 4 diamonds, 4 erings, 6 bands and I am still toying with another band and new ering.

The diamond I currently have will be a keeper, for sentimental reasons I don't ever plan to upgrade it.

 

[usnwife]

I need rehab. I think I have been through 10+ resets in 10+ years of marriage. I am currently working on a complete redo of all my jewelry. I have a problem. I tend to pick at small flaw (10x loupe size speck), then OCD tells me I need to fix it.

 

[LLJsmom]

For 2 years after I upgraded I went through three settings. Then got one made by Victor and now feel my diamond is at home. The process was to figure out what was me. I can see myself maybe getting this halo'd and outrageously blinged out, sides and everything, but maybe when I hit 50. After I got my Victor setting I focused on other basics, studs, tennis bracelet which I got within another 1.5 years. Now I'm done for the time being. Nothing feels pressing. I don't want to buy any stuff that I don't wear regularly. Doing other things in life instead of being on PS 24/7. Nice to find some balance.

 

[Mayk]

Guilty! Caught in the web of upgrading, changing, and adding on! Hanging out here will do it to you...

 

[lknvrb4]

Guilty! Caught in the web of upgrading, changing, and adding on! Hanging out here will do it to you...

+1

 

[missy]

Guilty! Caught in the web of upgrading, changing, and adding on! Hanging out here will do it to you...

+1

Haha well I am not sure PS changes our tendencies for wanting bigger and better but it certainly enables us to do so with greater ease. Knowing there are like minded individuals out there sort of gives me the OK to go ahead. A way of rationalizing my "upgrades" or just purchasing more and more bling. But that is the goal of PS isn't it and why vendors are here advertising and posting. It's all good as long as one doesn't go outside of their means and one has a supportive spouse/partner.

And also as long as you aren't dissatisfied in general with what you keep purchasing. My thoughts are that there are some people who will never be happy in life no matter what and then there is the greater majority here who love what they buy and love bling so they keep wanting to buy and yes wanting bigger and better. That doesn't mean they aren't happy with the bling they have but a girl (and guy) needs choices and it's OK to change our minds. Who said "It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind." Just add the word guy to it and we are set to go.

 

[ringbling17]

I upgraded my diamond twice for size and once for cut before I finally got a diamond I didn't want to upgrade. I have had that diamond now for 6 or 7 years and have had no plans to upgrade it.
I think for me, once I got a size I wanted, then I no longer had an urge to upgrade.
Do I want a bigger diamond? Sure, but for my lifestyle this diamond is everything I could want and need. It's just big enough without feeling over the top and I know any bigger I would not wear.
I have kept this diamond in a temp forever setting since receiving. Meaning a setting that I loved but wasn't in love with but I knew if I never changed it out, I would still be happy with.

I only just recently decided it was time for a new home for it and actually just sent my diamond over to Caysie to be reset last week.
I've thought about resetting it many times and I didn't want a blinged out setting. I have other diamond rings so that was a deciding factor in having a less blinged out setting.
So yes, to answer your title, I did eventually become satisfied and it took cut and size for me.

 

[kenny]

Of course we're satisfied.
But then tomorrow happens.

Wener Erhard said:

"life is a game
in which
what isn't
is more important
than what is

let the good times roll"

 

[susief]

Thanks so much everyone for the really interesting replies.

I do have a supportive (some would say enabling ) DH, but I am naturally quite careful with money and hate the thought of waste. But some of the replies have made me see it isn't "waste" necessarily if the pieces have brought me enjoyment along the way.

I think I will save and plan carefully rather than rushing into another purchase. Hopefully one day my tastes will settle and I will find something that satisfies me permanently. Until then I'll just ogle all your pretty things!