Forum Newbie--What should I do?

[gfg3w]

So I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend. We''ve both been through a lot of life experience--we''ve been together on and off for about ten years--and she claims that she''s not particular about her E-ring, so long as she gets to marry me

. We''ve gone looking at E-rings at various local retailers, however, and she always gravitated towards three stone Princess rings and would pretty readily brush off anything else that a clerk tried to show her. She was pretty particular too, that she likes Euro-shank rings (for the look), and likes the diamonds to seem relatively low-set (something like the attached photo)



The rub is that my mom just gave me a 1.02 carat round cut family diamond. While the stats on it aren''t perfect--(H Color, SI2, not sure about the cut), I''m about to start med school and the savings from using it would be especially helpful, since I''m a lowly research lab tech and not exactly swimming in cash. I think if I manage to scrimp for the next few months, I can pull together around $3,500 or so. Once med school starts in August, however, every ounce of my "income" is going to be coming from student loans. Any ideas on which direction I should go?

 

[Splinter]

Hmm... quite a pickle there...

If you''re certain that the three stone princess is what she wants I''d definitely go with it. Heck, you could always sell the 1.02 carat and add that to the cost of the ring. But really, although a ring is symbolic, I think it''s much nicer to give your girlfriend the design she has her heart set on. For $3,500 (plus maybe the cash from the other diamond) you should be able to get something really nice!

 

[chrono]

The picture is just an example, right? Because the picture shows a 3 stone asscher ring, not princess cut stones.

 

[gfg3w]

Yes, just an example for the setting--it wouldn''t necessarily be as embellished either, but has the right overall shape.

 

[Ellen]

I would go with a vendor who has a good upgrade policy, get her what she wants, but maybe in a mini version, and then let her upgrade when it''s feasible.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 4/14/2008 12:27:20 PM
Author: Ellen
I would go with a vendor who has a good upgrade policy, get her what she wants, but maybe in a mini version, and then let her upgrade when it''s feasible.

I agree with Ellen, that seems to be a good approach. Good luck with med school by the way!

 

[~*kalypso*~]

If money is tight now, if she didn''t mind, I''d say give her your family heirloom for now. I would definitely NOT give that ring as part of an "upgrade". Then during or when you finish your residency, get her the ring of her dreams, so she can have 2 rings!

Start putting money away for it while you''re in residency.

 

[gfg3w]

Date: 4/14/2008 12:28:59 PM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 4/14/2008 12:27:20 PM
Author: Ellen
I would go with a vendor who has a good upgrade policy, get her what she wants, but maybe in a mini version, and then let her upgrade when it''s feasible.

I agree with Ellen, that seems to be a good approach. Good luck with med school by the way!

Any idea of a vendor that could put something like this together for me? The only pre-set rings that I''ve seen that look close to this have been at Jared''s, and I''m not going to punish myself by giving them my business. I hear Quest Jewelers in Northern Virginia is good, and its only a hop, skip and a jump away from me. Could I get something like this done in my price range?

 

[gfg3w]

Date: 4/14/2008 12:32:10 PM
Author: ~*kalypso*~
If money is tight now, if she didn''t mind, I''d say give her your family heirloom for now. I would definitely NOT give that ring as part of an ''upgrade''. Then during or when you finish your residency, get her the ring of her dreams, so she can have 2 rings!

Start putting money away for it while you''re in residency.

Why wouldn''t you go the upgrade route? I''ll definitely save up to eventually get her what she wants either way!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 4/14/2008 12:51:35 PM
Author: gfg3w

Date: 4/14/2008 12:32:10 PM
Author: ~*kalypso*~
If money is tight now, if she didn't mind, I'd say give her your family heirloom for now. I would definitely NOT give that ring as part of an 'upgrade'. Then during or when you finish your residency, get her the ring of her dreams, so she can have 2 rings!

Start putting money away for it while you're in residency.

Why wouldn't you go the upgrade route? I'll definitely save up to eventually get her what she wants either way!

If you contact some of the Pricescope vendors, tell them what you want and your budget, they should be able to help you!

Check out...

www.goodoldgold.com

www.whiteflash.com

These companies have trade up policies on some of their diamonds, so you could bear this in mind when discussing your requirements with them.

Other good vendors are also

www.winkjones.com

www.pearlmansjewelers.com

www.engagementringsdirect.com

The above three, I am not familiar with their upgrade policies, so you would need to clarify. Also unless you really wanted platinum, white or yellow gold for the setting will help you maximise the budget for the diamond/s.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 4/14/2008 12:50:27 PM
Author: gfg3w

Any idea of a vendor that could put something like this together for me? The only pre-set rings that I've seen that look close to this have been at Jared's, and I'm not going to punish myself by giving them my business. I hear Quest Jewelers in Northern Virginia is good, and its only a hop, skip and a jump away from me. Could I get something like this done in my price range?

Yes. I would suggest either Whiteflash or Goodoldgold. They both have excellent reputations, very good upgrade policies and carry great stones. Very easy to work with too. If you do a search on here for them, you'll find lots of reviews and pictures of their work.


Someone beat me to it.

 

[~*kalypso*~]

Date: 4/14/2008 12:51:35 PM
Author: gfg3w

Date: 4/14/2008 12:32:10 PM
Author: ~*kalypso*~
If money is tight now, if she didn''t mind, I''d say give her your family heirloom for now. I would definitely NOT give that ring as part of an ''upgrade''. Then during or when you finish your residency, get her the ring of her dreams, so she can have 2 rings!

Start putting money away for it while you''re in residency.

Why wouldn''t you go the upgrade route? I''ll definitely save up to eventually get her what she wants either way!

Hi,
I don''t think there''s anything wrong with upgrading rings in general if you are OK with that.

I was just referring to your family diamond that you have on hand at the moment. I would not put that ring towards purchasing another ring, the 3 stone princess that she wants. I think that if she is not all too particular now, that a family heirloom would be something very special and not something I would want my BF to give up for a ring that we would consider upgrading in the future anyway.

I would prefer to get the 1 carat family heirloom now, and then when you finish residency or gather enough money up during residency get her the ring of her dreams. It would be a nice surprise on the day you finish residency for her to get it I think after all the hard work you''ll both have gone thru after medical school and residency, and for her to have supported you thru those times.

Plus you didn''t specify what kind of size she was hoping for for the 3 stone princess, and I''d suspect that for $3,500 you would get much smaller stones than the 1 carat RB you already have now.

It''s just my preference to get something sentimental now, that you could keep, like your family diamond, put the $3500 towards wedding/honeymoon/small expensese, then get her THE ring in the future.

Just my own preference.

On the other hand, if that 1 carat doesn''t carry any sentimental value, then I would use it like others have mentioned with the $3500 to get the 3 stone princess she likes now.

And make sure the store you purchase it from has a good upgrade policy.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 4/14/2008 1:03:46 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 4/14/2008 12:50:27 PM
Author: gfg3w

Any idea of a vendor that could put something like this together for me? The only pre-set rings that I've seen that look close to this have been at Jared's, and I'm not going to punish myself by giving them my business. I hear Quest Jewelers in Northern Virginia is good, and its only a hop, skip and a jump away from me. Could I get something like this done in my price range?

Yes. I would suggest either Whiteflash or Goodoldgold. They both have excellent reputations, very good upgrade policies and carry great stones. Very easy to work with too. If you do a search on here for them, you'll find lots of reviews and pictures of their work.


Someone beat me to it.

 

[Gypsy]

I honestly think that in this case you should just talk to her about it, and make the decision together. I understand if you want this to be a surprise, but at the same time... she''s already looking at rings, so it''s not an extreme surprise.

I would propose to her romantically, and with the choice of the heirloom, or a new ring for 3,500. Or just discuss it with her, listen to her preference and go from there.

If it were me, I''d prefer that my fiance talk to me about it and let me choose more than anything else.

 

[Pandora II]

I would discuss it with her as Gypsy says.

If you absolutely must do a surprise, I would propose with the heirloom stone (loose) and tell her that she has an option on what she would like - you can always set the rb as a pendant.

If you are eventually going to up-grade, then it would be a nice permanent reminder of the proposal, and something that could be handed down to another future generation.

 

[spike13]

Just to be clear, is the stone your mother gave you a true heirloom where it was some family history and sentimental value? Or is it a stone that one way or another your mom just happened to have?

I think that would make a difference when deciding whether or not to sell it/exchange for an upgrade.

I think the suggestion of discussing with her makes sense. The cat is already out of the bag since you''ve looked at rings, so maybe check back and see what she really wants and when it''s important. She might rather you save the money to help start your new life together (not sure if she''s the practical type, but something in your post made it sound as if she was.)

 

[Upgradable]

If you want to go the three stone princess route, I wanted to point out that Pearlman''s has a pre-owned Whiteflash setting available for $1000. I know that Bill Pearlman would be great at helping you out in finding a great center stone that met your budget.

 

[gfg3w]

Date: 4/14/2008 2:24:14 PM
Author: spike13
Just to be clear, is the stone your mother gave you a true heirloom where it was some family history and sentimental value? Or is it a stone that one way or another your mom just happened to have?


I think that would make a difference when deciding whether or not to sell it/exchange for an upgrade.


I think the suggestion of discussing with her makes sense. The cat is already out of the bag since you''ve looked at rings, so maybe check back and see what she really wants and when it''s important. She might rather you save the money to help start your new life together (not sure if she''s the practical type, but something in your post made it sound as if she was.)

The stone isn''t an heirloom per se, just something that my mom has had for years and has never gotten set. I think at this point, I am going to talk to her about it and see what she thinks would be best and gauge it from there--she is definitely the practical type (thank goodness, otherwise medical school would end up being quite difficult!

). Then again, every girl has a romantic side, and that''s how it should be! Thanks for the input, everyone!

 

[diamondringlover]

I also agree you should talk to her about it, good luck with whatever you do and congrats on the future engagement