JewelFreak
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2009
- Messages
- 7,768
NOT romantic-type! Remember the next-door neighbor saga of protracted dog care & avoidable medical emergencies & much etc.? For 10 years, in case you don't recall, we have walked, pottied, & fed our neighbor's 2 Siberians at his beck & call. At first i was glad to help -- it's what you do for neighbors or friends who need help.
Soon it became a regularity. He DJ's the occasional party -- would call us at 8 pm & say he was on a job till 2 am, would we take his dogs out. He knew I'd never let dogs be miserable & by giving us no chance to say no before he left, knew we'd do it. I said no once when we were going out ourselves & I was not walking his dogs in my good clothes & shoes at midnight in BM Flats (he never cleans the poo in his backyard). "You can change!" he advised. He is in the hospital constantly -- mostly for diabetic emergencies after he bulks up on donuts & ice cream. We have cared for his dogs for a week at a time in these cases, frequently. It became 7 or 8 times a month, at least a day or 2, for years. In all weathers, at all times of day.
When he had surgery a few yrs ago & boarded them at my insistance, he came home & couldn't live without his dogs NOW, couldn'tlivewithouthisdogs couldn'tlivewithouthisdogs, so DH & I drove 40 minutes each way to pick them up at the kennel. It took me a week to get all the fur from the poor un-groomed critters out of my car. We walked them for days while he recuperated. This is typical.
A year ago I spent an hour researching dog walkers & gave him a list of reliable ones. Told him he cannot rely on the availability or kindness of others for his dogs' safety. He never did anything. Things continued as before.
Last Sunday I find a voicemail from his mother -- this guy is in his 50s, divorced, lives alone -- that he fell off his motorcycle & hurt his foot, is at the hospital & doesn't know if he'll be able to come home for a few days. Will we take care of his dogs? So we went over there twice Sunday night & were glad to see him arrive later. Next morning he calls me from his own living room -- his foot hurts, will I walk his dogs right now? After ten years of helping this baby out, I was fed up. I'd warned him often that it was getting to be too much.
I said, "No." "NO???" he yelped in disbelief. Then shouted, "YOU DON'T HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO COME OVER AND DO THIS?" "No," I answered, "I'm stuck here & busy all day." "Well, I see where we stand now, Laurie!" he growled, and hung up on me. Half an hour later I'm out back with my dog & see him at the corner where our fences meet. We have split-rail fencing lined w/chicken wire; across a 2-ft gap from our fence to his, the previous owners of our house stretched wire & attached it to his pole. Mr. Neighbor was frantically cutting it off with tree loppers. "You can't have YOUR fencing on MY pole anymore!" he yelled at me. "And trim your g**d**n bush! It hangs over MY property!" Me in a purposely normal calm voice: "Hey, I tried to tell...." got no further. "F*** YOU!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. Then screamed other obscenities I won't even hint at here. I shrugged & went inside. Haven't seen him since.
There is more to the story but it's boring & this is too long. Here's a lesson -- when I put this up before, some people attributed all kinds of psychological bad motives to my venting. Keep in mind, you never know the whole thing & you do not know the OP in person. Give whoever it is a break.
I never once asked for any favors in return. Helped him because he needed help, for no other reason (except the dogs' comfort, really). This guy is not completely sane. Everyone he ever ran across "betrayed" him. His parents -- who have supported him financially 100% for years -- are "mean" & "vicious" to him, blah blah.
I am not upset. Mostly having a laugh at how silly he is & relieved to no longer being taken advantage of and for granted. Sorry this is such a looong book! Vent over.
--- Laurie
Soon it became a regularity. He DJ's the occasional party -- would call us at 8 pm & say he was on a job till 2 am, would we take his dogs out. He knew I'd never let dogs be miserable & by giving us no chance to say no before he left, knew we'd do it. I said no once when we were going out ourselves & I was not walking his dogs in my good clothes & shoes at midnight in BM Flats (he never cleans the poo in his backyard). "You can change!" he advised. He is in the hospital constantly -- mostly for diabetic emergencies after he bulks up on donuts & ice cream. We have cared for his dogs for a week at a time in these cases, frequently. It became 7 or 8 times a month, at least a day or 2, for years. In all weathers, at all times of day.
When he had surgery a few yrs ago & boarded them at my insistance, he came home & couldn't live without his dogs NOW, couldn'tlivewithouthisdogs couldn'tlivewithouthisdogs, so DH & I drove 40 minutes each way to pick them up at the kennel. It took me a week to get all the fur from the poor un-groomed critters out of my car. We walked them for days while he recuperated. This is typical.
A year ago I spent an hour researching dog walkers & gave him a list of reliable ones. Told him he cannot rely on the availability or kindness of others for his dogs' safety. He never did anything. Things continued as before.
Last Sunday I find a voicemail from his mother -- this guy is in his 50s, divorced, lives alone -- that he fell off his motorcycle & hurt his foot, is at the hospital & doesn't know if he'll be able to come home for a few days. Will we take care of his dogs? So we went over there twice Sunday night & were glad to see him arrive later. Next morning he calls me from his own living room -- his foot hurts, will I walk his dogs right now? After ten years of helping this baby out, I was fed up. I'd warned him often that it was getting to be too much.
I said, "No." "NO???" he yelped in disbelief. Then shouted, "YOU DON'T HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO COME OVER AND DO THIS?" "No," I answered, "I'm stuck here & busy all day." "Well, I see where we stand now, Laurie!" he growled, and hung up on me. Half an hour later I'm out back with my dog & see him at the corner where our fences meet. We have split-rail fencing lined w/chicken wire; across a 2-ft gap from our fence to his, the previous owners of our house stretched wire & attached it to his pole. Mr. Neighbor was frantically cutting it off with tree loppers. "You can't have YOUR fencing on MY pole anymore!" he yelled at me. "And trim your g**d**n bush! It hangs over MY property!" Me in a purposely normal calm voice: "Hey, I tried to tell...." got no further. "F*** YOU!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. Then screamed other obscenities I won't even hint at here. I shrugged & went inside. Haven't seen him since.
There is more to the story but it's boring & this is too long. Here's a lesson -- when I put this up before, some people attributed all kinds of psychological bad motives to my venting. Keep in mind, you never know the whole thing & you do not know the OP in person. Give whoever it is a break.
I never once asked for any favors in return. Helped him because he needed help, for no other reason (except the dogs' comfort, really). This guy is not completely sane. Everyone he ever ran across "betrayed" him. His parents -- who have supported him financially 100% for years -- are "mean" & "vicious" to him, blah blah.
I am not upset. Mostly having a laugh at how silly he is & relieved to no longer being taken advantage of and for granted. Sorry this is such a looong book! Vent over.
--- Laurie
) "Women are only looking for rich guys, boo hoo." Naw, they get bored with an evening listening to bitching! Advice on getting over grief when his father died. Hearing his financial troubles -- all his own fault. I like people -- interested in most & I'm patient -- but not a pushover, except for animals. Which is why I kept letting him take advantage of DH & me -- for his dogs' sake. Some of his medical stuff was very serious; he almost died a couple of times & those are occasions when you help out. The rest of the time I thought of the dogs & allowed myself to be manipulated. I hope now that he is forced to, he'll get a dog-carer when he's got problems. I won't be helping, at any rate.
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