shape
carat
color
clarity

Fill in the blank: I never thought I would become…..

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
8,755
@nala, I was talking to my husband about this recently, the constant pressure to scale up in life, be more, do more. It’s ingrained in us and that’s unfortunate. It is okay to be good with where you are and not have the desire to move to the next level, maybe that is just true satisfaction. Not a bad thing IMO.
 

MjK1

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 29, 2021
Messages
382
Semi bed-ridden due to my back. So sick all the time with health issues...unable to walk across a parking lot without nearly passing out...
 

ProfessorBling

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 29, 2012
Messages
109
I never thought that I would become so complacent in my career because I have always been goal-driven and pushed myself to accomplish all of my potential. I am starting year 25 of teaching in a couple of weeks and I have had the degree, credentials and opportunity to be a principal for the past 10 years. My district has really encouraged me to take on leadership roles and I keep declining their offers. Who am I? When did I become so complacent?

At first my rationale was that I had to focus my evening hours on my DD— which I have zero regrets about! I was there for all her after-school activities, fun evenings at Disneyland, etc., and I treasure that period in our lives. I should mention that I was very protective about our time bc I shared custody with her dad. But she moved out 5 years ago and I’m still not inclined to move forward.

Most of my good friends have taken on leadership roles even while they have little kids at home. And here I am, with every possible opportunity and yet no desire. So. There you have it. I’ve never thought I’d become so complacent. I do admit that teaching makes me feel accomplished and when the valedictorian gives me a shout-out at graduation and comes back to say hello years later, I can’t exactly say that I’m missing out on being a principal who deals with parents, teacher drama, late hours of regulations and policies, district politics…ugh…no thank you.

I don't think you're complacent at all. I think you're very wise, because you know you are actively avoiding drama and stressors. Teaching is so rewarding--there is really nothing like those relationships you build with your students.

@Cerulean def. one of my favorite colors LOL. Those who can code @GeliL please feel free to send me any beginner courses you can think of. I started learning R last year after I had my baby and then stopped. I'd like to try and squeeze in some time for that when I have in-person office hours again.
 

GeliL

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2018
Messages
197
Those who can code @GeliL please feel free to send me any beginner courses you can think of. I started learning R last year after I had my baby and then stopped. I'd like to try and squeeze in some time for that when I have in-person office hours again.

There's lots of courses on Udemy that are very helpful for beginners in code! When I was confused those courses definitely helped. You want to look for courses on Udemy that not only has a lot of good reviews, but teachers or TAs that are prompt in answering specific questioms you have!

What usage are you mainly thinking of? Data analysis? App building? Web design? R is usually used for statistics and data, but just for coding in general I'd recommend learning Python :)
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
8,755
@MjK1, I’m so sorry about your health issues, I send you healing thoughts.

@Ontheblackrock15, we just never know where the wave is going to take us! I hope you are enjoying FL. I’ve lived in CT my whole life so to live anywhere else would be a shock to the system.
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
8,755
@GeliL, coding is such a wonderful and important skill to have these days. My son apparently knows how to do it (he is 14). I think he knows how to code and make bots for Discord, pretty sure that’s what he told me anyways.
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
3,084
I don't think you're complacent at all. I think you're very wise, because you know you are actively avoiding drama and stressors. Teaching is so rewarding--there is really nothing like those relationships you build with your students.

@Cerulean def. one of my favorite colors LOL. Those who can code @GeliL please feel free to send me any beginner courses you can think of. I started learning R last year after I had my baby and then stopped. I'd like to try and squeeze in some time for that when I have in-person office hours again.

Also, if you haven’t used R Studio - download it! It makes R a lot easier - it’s basically a program that wraps around R to make it more friendly
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
1,731
So thin! Sounds sort of boastful I suppose but the last time I tried to lose weight I never expected to succeed. It’s now a few years later and I’m down around 42kg (~93lbs). Considering I was an obese teenager, this is huge for me. I actually saw pictures of myself the other day, from a few years ago, when I was at +42 and I was utterly taken aback!!
 

MamaBee

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
11,117
So thin! Sounds sort of boastful I suppose but the last time I tried to lose weight I never expected to succeed. It’s now a few years later and I’m down around 42kg (~93lbs). Considering I was an obese teenager, this is huge for me. I actually saw pictures of myself the other day, from a few years ago, when I was at +42 and I was utterly taken aback!!

Wow! That’s amazing @AllAboardTheBlingTrain! How did you do it?
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
1,731
Wow! That’s amazing @AllAboardTheBlingTrain! How did you do it?

Thank you @MamaBee! It was a combination of diet and exercise changes, primarily diet. I adopted a low-carb(ish) lifestyle (I eat some pulses/beans/grains/fruit that aren’t strictly keto, but I don’t eat them often or in large quantities) and slowly added in some strength training and cardio as I got thinner. For the longest time I didn’t workout though because I found it too painful and difficult.

I don’t plan to change the way I eat back to a more “regular” style, I know that I won’t be able to keep the weight off if I do and it’s been long enough that I don’t miss those things that I used to crave (like sweets). I avoid them completely because I don’t have the willpower to eat just a bite or eat it rarely.
 

MamaBee

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
11,117
Thank you @MamaBee! It was a combination of diet and exercise changes, primarily diet. I adopted a low-carb(ish) lifestyle (I eat some pulses/beans/grains/fruit that aren’t strictly keto, but I don’t eat them often or in large quantities) and slowly added in some strength training and cardio as I got thinner. For the longest time I didn’t workout though because I found it too painful and difficult.
I don’t plan to change the way I eat back to a more “regular” style, I know that I won’t be able to keep the weight off if I do and it’s been long enough that I don’t miss those things that I used to crave (like sweets). I avoid them completely because I don’t have the willpower to eat just a bite or eat it rarely.

That’s amazing @AllAboardTheBlingTrain!
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
8,755
@bludiva, we are a dog/cat/bird household, love them all but cats are probably my favorite. Two cats can find all kinds of trouble but at least the dog has lots of company now!

@sbfairy, so sorry about your mom. I’m so glad that IVF worked and you have a wonderful daughter, seventeen years is a long journey but I’m glad you were blessed in the end with her.
 

sbfairy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
29
@bludiva, we are a dog/cat/bird household, love them all but cats are probably my favorite. Two cats can find all kinds of trouble but at least the dog has lots of company now!

@sbfairy, so sorry about your mom. I’m so glad that IVF workedI and you have a wonderful daughter, seventeen years is a long journey but I’m glad you were blessed in the end with her.


I actually didn't have to have IVF. It just happened. I had no idea of what was wrong with me and took a pregnancy test just to rule it out. We were so shocked that I had a panic attack :) She's the best though. She loves jewelry and already has a pair of diamond studs and a bracelet with a tiny little stone in it. I'm raising her right!
 

Polished1911

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2019
Messages
317
Delivery Driver!!!! Never ever ever would I would have thought that’s what I’d be doing in my 40s or I would be so amazing at it. SAHM for 15 years after my early adulthood in the healthcare field. I need to go back to school to get back into the field of healthcare, which I should. But I’m having way too much fun driving around a 15,000 pound truck and helping people get what they need. Covid times have been physically demanding, but psychologically rewarding. I outperform young men 20 years younger than myself, I get a bit of a kick out of that lol.
 

jaysonsmom

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2004
Messages
4,235
A SAHM mom of six.

Didn't want to get married & didn't want children since I was a little girl.

Very happy with how things went.

Wow, from 0-6! That is really surprising! I thought people who have a lot of kids really wanted a large family as soon as they could start having kids! :)
 

Polished1911

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2019
Messages
317
Ahhhh. I think you are wise. There’s nothing wrong with leadership! And you’d likely do brilliant in the role. But if the passion isn’t there, perhaps you’d fail someone who’d need you the most. Being there for your daughter in the past was the right call, rejoice. Your role as a teacher now is rewarding. Bypassing drama and stress is not being complacent, it’s likely more the definition of contentment. That’s a beautiful thing, you’re embracing who you are, not pushing past personal limits of sanity.


I never thought that I would become so complacent in my career because I have always been goal-driven and pushed myself to accomplish all of my potential. I am starting year 25 of teaching in a couple of weeks and I have had the degree, credentials and opportunity to be a principal for the past 10 years. My district has really encouraged me to take on leadership roles and I keep declining their offers. Who am I? When did I become so complacent?

At first my rationale was that I had to focus my evening hours on my DD— which I have zero regrets about! I was there for all her after-school activities, fun evenings at Disneyland, etc., and I treasure that period in our lives. I should mention that I was very protective about our time bc I shared custody with her dad. But she moved out 5 years ago and I’m still not inclined to move forward.

Most of my good friends have taken on leadership roles even while they have little kids at home. And here I am, with every possible opportunity and yet no desire. So. There you have it. I’ve never thought I’d become so complacent. I do admit that teaching makes me feel accomplished and when the valedictorian gives me a shout-out at graduation and comes back to say hello years later, I can’t exactly say that I’m missing out on being a principal who deals with parents, teacher drama, late hours of regulations and policies, district politics…ugh…no thank you.
 

kipari

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 9, 2015
Messages
3,126
Wow, from 0-6! That is really surprising! I thought people who have a lot of kids really wanted a large family as soon as they could start having kids! :)

Well I tried it out with one baby and it was very fulfilling and I discovered it was the right thing for me. The rest is history.

I have to say it's not like I was categorically anti children or anything. I just never felt that urge other people felt who knew they had to have children at some point. For my DH it was non negotiable, though and we talked about it at length. I was 29 when I had my first child and then we immediately knew we'd have at least 2 more. Dh and I are a great team. He's a wonderful person and very involved father, emotionally available for his children. Our relationship was great before the children, but kept developing into an ever stronger bond with every child. That's a big factor too.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
23,063
As someone with a bachelors in Art History and is now a software engineer, I resonate with your sentiment! I never thought I could code, but I started to love it after doing an Art History+Computer Science interdisciplinary Master's degree. I think someone equated coding to painting, and that made a lot of sense to me haha! None of my family members would have ever imagined that I would be working in this field.

Another thing I never thought I would be is into pearls. I used to think of them as boring when I was young, but then Mikimoto pearls changed my life and I am now in the pearl world DEEP.

I love your background. Because code should be beautiful.

Pretty look at, easy to follow, well-tested, and well-documented. I wish more software engineers took pride pride in how their product presents itself... Getting something working is a paltry achievement - any code monkey can “get it working”. Getting something working in a way that someone new can step in and maintain it easily - that’s beautiful and valuable! And I have zero tolerance for people who call themselves “hackers” and “tinkerers”; I can’t respect someone who won’t give a passion his or her best effort.

Artistry is critical no matter what you’re doing, IMO. Even something as supposedly-opposing as tech. I absolutely LOVE the idea of a background in art history and CS and I imagine such a person (you!) would be very successful in any industry you chose.
 
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yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
23,063
So thin! Sounds sort of boastful I suppose but the last time I tried to lose weight I never expected to succeed. It’s now a few years later and I’m down around 42kg (~93lbs). Considering I was an obese teenager, this is huge for me. I actually saw pictures of myself the other day, from a few years ago, when I was at +42 and I was utterly taken aback!!

Congrats!!! This is such a huge accomplishment, you have EVERY right to be proud of yourself!!

#KillingIt!! :appl: ❤️
 
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