FI still refers to me as his GF...

[slg47]

Is this weird? FI was recounting a story and he said "my GF blah blah blah"...he claims he doesn't like the word FI. Can't he just use my name, or something if he wants to avoid FI? Anyone else have this problem (or maybe it's a non-problem, but it sounded weird to me to still be his GF...)

 

[calibali]

I'm the same as your FI - when speaking to someone I always call my FI "boyfriend." I think fiance sounds weird, plus I've been calling him boyfriend for almost 7 years and it's a tough habit to break. I don't know if FI has ever referred to me as his fiancee, either.

I think for us, being engaged hasn't changed anything so it's hard to use a different label when nothing feels different. Doesn't bother me in the slightest, but if it's important to you, maybe ask him to make more of an effort to use fiancee?

 

[slg47]

It just took me by surprise to hear him say that, I guess?

 

[sillyberry]

I vary between calling him my boyfriend and my fiancé. Fiancé sounds kind of silly to my ear, so I generally only call him that if I'm (1) joking around in an exaggerated manner or (2) really would like the person to know I'm engaged.

I have no idea how he refers to me (he doesn't do it often in my presence). As long as it isn't "friend," I think I'm okay with it.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I'm the same as your FI - when speaking to someone I always call my FI "boyfriend." I think fiance sounds weird, plus I've been calling him boyfriend for almost 7 years and it's a tough habit to break. I don't know if FI has ever referred to me as his fiancee, either.

I think for us, being engaged hasn't changed anything so it's hard to use a different label when nothing feels different. Doesn't bother me in the slightest, but if it's important to you, maybe ask him to make more of an effort to use fiancee?

I could have written the same post. We'd dated for over 7 years when we got engaged and it was just more natural to continue calling each other bf and gf. I've referred to him as my boyfriend a couple of times and we're married!

 

[yssie]

DH and I were engaged for longer than we were dating, I'm just so used to calling him FI! He doesn't particularly like it, and I make an effort to remember, but habit is hard to break.

I think if you tell him how you feel I'm sure he'll make an effort, though he'll probably slip a few times! I do understand the thinking though - you've taken a big step together, why not give it the commemoration it deserves..

 

[stepcutgirl]

I still call FI my boyfriend. I too feel like the word fiance is odd and it doesn't feel natural to say it.

 

[slg47]

DH and I were engaged for longer than we were dating, I'm just so used to calling him FI! He doesn't particularly like it, and I make an effort to remember, but habit is hard to break.

I think if you tell him how you feel I'm sure he'll make an effort, though he'll probably slip a few times! I do understand the thinking though - you've taken a big step together, why not give it the commemoration it deserves..

yeah, exactly...also when I asked him about it he just brushed it off...not that it's a big deal but I want him to feel happy to be engaged to me, and proud of it?

 

[chemgirl]

I'm sure he's happy to be engaged and views it as an important step etc. I find that guys (at least my limited experience) will look at a situation as follows: "is it in the past?" "can I do anything about it?" "is it a big deal?" Their reaction will depend on how they answer those questions. In this case, its in the past, he can't exactly change it, and its not really that big of a deal (ie he feels everything's fine so its just an innocent slip up). So given the situation, he probably didn't think he had to really react and just brushed it off. If he was full of explanations and apologies, then I'd be more concerned!

 

[kelpie]

It took us months to get used to stop calling eachother BF/GF. Fiance sounded so snooty to us. So we would say it with an exaggerated french accent on the occasions we'd say it. Eventually it started to sound normal but it took like a year of being engaged. We got married two weeks ago and I still want to call him my BF.

 

[manderz]

I've been engaged for almost 4 months, and I just the other day referred to FI as my boyfriend. I really don't like the way the word fiance sounds. It's just a very weird change, especially since we've been boyfriend/girlfriend for 8 years. Though many of his family members already call me his wife

 

[Autumnovember]

I am being 100% honest here....


I HATE HATE HATE the word Fiance and I've also been having a very tough time saying Fiance when I'm talking about him. I end up calling him "BF" or "Chris". I don't know why I dislike the word so much, but I do. It just sounds soooo.....I don't even know how to describe. SO would call me randomly and when I'd pick up he would tease me and say "HEY FIANCE!" cause he knew how much the word bugged me out.

 

[pancake]

I hate the word "fiance(e)"! But that is just a personal weirdness. I also hate "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". Not to mention "partner". Fortunately I managed to get myself used to/non-cringey when using "partner", so that's what I called my husband when he was my...partner (I am tying myself in knots here!); we were only engaged for 2 1/2 months before getting married, so "fiance" was never an issue. We then spent a good amount of time getting used to "husband" and "wife" and I am pleased to say that I am getting there... occasionally still refer to him as my partner, though. (which is fine, because that's what he is!)

 

[Steel]

I think it often slips out simply owing to habit. I'm sure it wasn't anything more than that.

I kinda have a thrill when DH calls me his girlfriend!

 

[trillionaire]

I used to do it all the time... far more than DH did. I don't think its a big deal, especially if it's out of habity.

DH started calling me wife after we got engaged anyway...

 

[Anonymous]

My FI referred to me as his GF for months after we got engaged. It irked me a bit in they "hey, aren't you excited about this enough to remember?!" sense, but the rational side of me knew it was just force of habit. He's had more people refer to me as his wife already that he hasn't corrected, so it balances out.

 

[diamondbuggy]

I have to agree with some of the other posters. I hate the word fiance(e). It sounds really silly and weird to me. My SO often calls me that just to annoy me. Otherwise, we usually just refer to each other as bf, gf or by our names. I think it also has to do with habit. We dated for over 8.5 years before we got engaged so we're used to saying bf and gf.

If it really bothers you then tell your FI and I'm sure he'll make an effort to remember to say it.

 

[merbear1215]

I disagree a bit. I hated the phrase BF....mainly becuase I think I often heard peope throw it around so often it was like "yes, we get it, you have a bf." Therefore, I hardly ever used that in like 3.5 years. I was much more comfortable saying fiance.

However, my fiance was the opposite. He never had problems calling me his girlfriend. But, he never really liked saying fiance because of the inevitable questions. He is in sales, so if he said something about his fiance, it automatically resulted in "how long have you been together," "how long have you been engaged," "when is the wedding," etc. He got tired of the line of questioning pretty quickly, so about a month into our engagement, when talking about me, he would just say his wife.

 

[elrohwen]

I don't think it's weird. DH and I didn't really like the word fiancee and generally just used names or bf/gf when we were engaged if we could get away with it - too often we'd say bf/gf and someone would point out that we were engaged and had to use the word fiancee. It sounded so awkward though!

 

[kittybean]

Count me in as one of those who dislikes the word "fiance." It sounds silly to me! When DH and I were engaged, I would mostly just refer to him by his first name in conversation--people could easily tell I was talking about a significant other of some sort . Husband is a lot easier for me.

 

[bee*]

I hate the word Fiance too-it just sounds poncy. I just continued calling DH my bf when we were engaged. I agree that husband is definitely easier.

 

[nkarma]

I also hate the word fiance and very rarely used it....I always said boyfriend. To me, this wouldn't be an issue.

 

[that_someone_special]

When we were engaged it took a while to call each other FI but after a while we got used to it. Now it's weird being husband/wife lol

Just give it time

 

[rosetta]

I love being called fiancée! I must be in the minority here

 

[wavyhair]

I don't think it's necessarily weird. I didn't like the word fiance so we called each other boyfriend/girlfriend throughout the engagement. Now that we're married, he's finding it hard to break that happen and still refers to himself as my boyfriend quite regularly (which annoys me but I'm trying to be forgiving about it )

 

[MissMina]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04ueFND7JT4

 

[manderz]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04ueFND7JT4

LOL!! Love it!!