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Feeling like I need support

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by lovedogs, Mar 20, 2019.

  1. lovedogs
    Ideal_Rock

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    by lovedogs » Mar 20, 2019
    Hi there all,
    I'm feeling horribly sad and need support from my bling-loving friends. We just found out that our 4.5 month old puppy (the labradoodle in pics below):





    Likely won't live more than 10 months (and that's the median). Turns out she was born with a congenital liver shunt--an intrahepatic shunt. A liver shunt can either be inside the liver or outside the liver. The outside (extra-hepatic) shunts are relatively easy to treat. Sadly, she has an intra-hepatic shunt (inside the liver), and those are extremely hard to fix. We thought it might be repairable with a special procedure, but found out yesterday that:
    1. The procedure costs between 8-11K and pet insurance won't pay anything towards it.
    2. Even if she survives the procedure (obviously not guaranteed), the median survival is 6 years. That sounds like a lot, but it's still 1/2 of her expected life span.
    3. Without the surgery, the median survival is 10 months.

    I love this pup so much. She is the sweetest, smartest, and most lovely girl. We are officially in love w. labradoodles as a breed, all because of her. I am devastated that we won't have more time w. her, and every time I look at her I want to (and often do) cry.

    AND

    We found this out yesterday and today my husband went out of town until Sunday. I hate being in the house alone, and I am just so incredibly sad.

    She has zero symptoms, and seems healthy and happy. She's on medication that will hopefully help, but we just have no idea.

    Just need to vent and need people to talk to about it. Sad, lonely, and scared of losing such a sweetheart.
     
    D&T, Arkteia and Arcadian like this.
    


    


  2. lovedogs
    Ideal_Rock

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    by lovedogs » Mar 20, 2019
    More pics of my baby girl. Because she's the cutest thing ever!

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    20190318_151013.jpg

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  3. Karl_K
    Ideal_Rock
    Trade

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    by Karl_K » Mar 20, 2019
    awww I am so sorry to hear that!
    Sometimes all you can do is shower them with love and make the time you do have with them as special and awesome as possible.
     
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  4. SandyinAnaheim
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by SandyinAnaheim » Mar 20, 2019
    OMG @lovedogs I'm SOOOOO sorry to hear this awful news!!! I love Doodles too, with all my heart!!! They're the best "designer" breed that has ever existed. I have a bunch of them on my schedule, and they are ALL so sweet and darling.

    My opinion is that all dogs, just like all people, are individual. She might not last 10 months, she might last ten years. I've seen SOOO many cases of pets that have been given months to live, and I'm happy to report that not all of them turn out to be true.

    If you need someone to talk to, you can reach me at my handle on yahoo for contact info. I'm happy to provide you with pet therapy.
     
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  5. lovedogs
    Ideal_Rock

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    by lovedogs » Mar 20, 2019
    Thanks, that's definitely the plan! We hired someone to paint a pic of her, and made a paw imprint in this pet-friendly mold thingy. And I'm taking her on walks and giving her a million hugs and kisses. I'm just incredibly sad.
     
  6. JDDN
    Ideal_Rock

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    by JDDN » Mar 20, 2019
    I am so incredibly sorry for this. What a sweet girl she is :kiss2:. I cannot even begin to imagine the sadness you're feeling, but she will have had the most loving time on earth with you. Huge hugs to you lovedogs.
     
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  7. lovedogs
    Ideal_Rock

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    by lovedogs » Mar 20, 2019
    You are very kind--I might take you up on that. I'm glad that other doodles are equally sweet. I'm hoping that she can serve as our "ambassador" to the breed, and that maybe she was sent to us (if you believe in that) to show us how much we need this breed in our lives forever.
     
  8. SandyinAnaheim
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by SandyinAnaheim » Mar 20, 2019
    Don't give up hope, you just never know. Doodles are AMAZING! I would do them (and Pit Bulls) all day, every day, if I could. Did you buy her from a breeder? I ask because the breeder needs to be informed that this line has a VERY serious problem. Responsible breeders do genetic testing to avoid issues such as these, but not all breeders are responsible. If I were you, I wouldn't buy from this breeder again.
     
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  9. JPie
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by JPie » Mar 21, 2019
    I am so sorry for the bad news. My husband’s cousin does fospice - fostering terminally ill dogs - and it’s true that you never know if they have months or years left. Spoil her rotten in the time you have together.
     
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  10. Queenie60
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Queenie60 » Mar 21, 2019
    I'm so sorry @lovedogs. Just love her and spend as much time as you can with her.
     
    lovedogs likes this.
    


    


  11. CHRISTY-DANIELLE
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by CHRISTY-DANIELLE » Mar 21, 2019
    @lovedogs so sorry to hear about your pup! My son's psychologist has a white 6 mo old Doodle named Penny. She's the only doodle I've interacted with but she has won my heart. Just the sweetest dog. She's being trained as a therapy dog. She sits with my son during his sessions and it helps him so much.
    I had a dear doxie with a congenital illness a few years ago, so I know how sad that news is. All you can do is love them and enjoy your time with them. A few weeks after he passed, another doxie just appeared at my husbands office..DH came home with him. That dog is still with us today, years later, spoiled rotten but a complete joy. I guess that's something that helps me, when one is gone, I get another. They are all different, but the love is the same.
     
  12. cmd2014
    Ideal_Rock

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    by cmd2014 » Mar 21, 2019
    I’m so sorry lovedogs. This is heartbreaking. She is such a gorgeous baby and you can see her sweet spirit radiating through her smile in these pictures.

    Is there any appeal of the pet insurance? It seems unfair that they won’t cover anything. Maybe there’s a vet training center in your area? Sometimes they will do really advanced procedures at reduced cost.

    Hugs to you. This is devastating news.
     
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  13. lovedogs
    Ideal_Rock

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    by lovedogs » Mar 21, 2019
    We (stupidly) fell in love w. her from a craigslist ad of a woman who bred her 2 dogs (lab and poodle) who didn't do any testing. I certainly won't do that again. I texted her, and she ignored me :(
     
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  14. lovedogs
    Ideal_Rock

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    by lovedogs » Mar 21, 2019
    That's what is consoling me (a little). The idea that she will help us find another doodle and will be with us through the next pups.
     
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  15. SandyinAnaheim
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by SandyinAnaheim » Mar 21, 2019
    NOT stupidly. Things are meant to be. If she was meant to have a short life, then she has a purpose in that short time, and you have a purpose in choosing her lovely face. I have to remind you that medicine is NOT an exact science. Doctors and vets give you their best guesses based on education and experience. That doesn't always make them right though. I know this is going to sound stupid, but I don't think you should be focused on the miserable ending we're all going to have. Instead, try to focus on the beauty of the here and now, and live it to the fullest. Enjoy every minute. If you're sad through the rest of her life, however long it will be, she will feel it. Dogs (and cats) pick up their companions' energy (feelings), and they respond to that. That's what makes therapy dogs so amazing! It's hard to do, I know, but she deserves the best of times with you, her mommy. :kiss2:
     
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  16. foxinsox
    Ideal_Rock

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    by foxinsox » Mar 21, 2019
    I'm so sorry as she looks like a truly gorgeous babe. Liver shunts are a bit common in pugs too and the medication can often really help. Some of the pug owners have resorted to crowdfunding their surgery - would that be an option for you with hers?
     
  17. TooPatient
    Ideal_Rock

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    by TooPatient » Mar 21, 2019
    I'm sorry. That is heartbreaking. Such a sweet looking girl!

    Some ideas:
    Check with veterinary schools to see if they will do for free or substantially reduced.
    There are also LOTS of resources for helping families with major vet expenses. Do a search on charities to help with vet expenses. There are lots at a national level and bunches more in different areas.


    ETA: For The Love of Alex is a very good one at national level.
     
  18. azstonie
    Ideal_Rock

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    by azstonie » Mar 21, 2019
    I'm so sorry to hear this. You didn't do anything wrong or ill advised in taking on a puppy from Craigslist. Your sweetie could've been in a cardboard box of puppies outside a grocery store, farm litter, pound dog--- they ALL deserve a home and a loving family and you've given her all of that.

    When Maggie, my 2nd Westie, was 10 months old her vet told us to euthanize her due to severe congenital hip dysplasia. Instead, I found the preeminent canine hip surgeon at a famous clinic in Houston, Gulf Coast Veterinary Clinic. We rented an rv and too k her 2x to get both hips replaced. She's 11 now and full of beans. My comment after my experience is to find *the* canine authority on liver shunts and have a consultation. Get the best evaluation you can and figure out the treatment plan once you have top notch data.

    I know you're sad. I'm so sorry. My Finn died in October from acute kidney failure, I know how hard it is to get a terrible diagnosis. Try to enjoy every day with her, spoil her just like others have advised.
     
  19. Dancing Fire
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by Dancing Fire » Mar 21, 2019
    LD
    Sorry to hear the news. :(sad BIG HUGS.
     
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  20. lovedogs
    Ideal_Rock

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    by lovedogs » Mar 21, 2019
    The only place in CA that does the procedure is UC Davis, and really only 1 guy. I've spoken with him and he has her test results. We will see what he says. She isn't eligible for another 1.5 months regardless due to age. It's hard to explain why I don't feel good abpit crowdfunding. I just spoke with my husband, and he feels the same and put it better than I could.

    It just feels like veterinary medicine really isn't in a place to surgically repair this issue reliably yet. It has so many massive risks, and the "excellent" outcomes are still 1/2 the lifespan of her breed. It feels like the best thing is to give her the best life she can have (and of course give meds/diet changes to help prolong her life as much as possible). I don't want that to sound like giving up , bc I adore her and if money didn't exist I think I would want to do it. But the risk/benefit/cost issues don't feel better regardless of who's money is being spent.

    It feels like maybe she was sent to us to teach us about the magic of this breed for our family, and to help us understand how awesome these dogs are and how perfectly they fit into my husband and my personality/dog wants.

    This all probably sounds either stupid or heartless, but I promise it's not. Just honestly how I feel right now.
     
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  21. TooPatient
    Ideal_Rock

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    by TooPatient » Mar 21, 2019
    I understand what you are saying. I have had those thoughts too as I waited for results and was having to make decisions. Quality of life is super important and that is very much a valid choice. Never doubt that! You have done your research. You are asking all the right questions. Hang in there and love her all you can while she is with you. That really is the best any of us can do!
     
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  22. elle_71125
    Ideal_Rock

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    by elle_71125 » Mar 21, 2019
    I’m so sorry to hear about your baby. :(sad I remember you mentioning it and I hoped things had turned out better. I want you to know that it’s ok that your sad. You just found out an important member of your family is sick. That kind of thing is bound to break your heart. But while it’s ok to be sad, try not to focus on it. Dogs are amazing creatures. They know exactly how we’re feeling. Try to feel joy in whatever time you have left together. Make her life the happiest it can be and I promise she will return the favor tenfold. Take lots of pics and videos! You will love looking at them years from now.

    I’ve had my last two cats pass from cancer. One we treated. One we didn’t (she was too far into it before the doctors figured out the problem). With my second kitty, I felt such immense grief at finding out she was terminal. I had just lost my first fur baby and I was in no way emotionally ready to do it again. She made it another 4 months. I tried to make those four months the best for her. Lots of wet food. Lots of cuddles. I doted on her. Sure, I still cried and felt moments of terrible sadness but I tried very hard to keep positive for her. She was my baby. It still hurts but it’s more bittersweet now.
     
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  23. missy
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by missy » Mar 21, 2019
    I am so so sorry about your sweet pup @lovedogs :cry2: Heartbreaking.

    It's such a personal decision as to what to do (surgery/no surgery) but if you think it would be at all useful I will ask my sister (veterinarian) about this. I know you and your DH will make the best choice for your family.

    Sending you and your sweet baby bucketloads of healing dust and well wishes. And gentle (((hugs))).
     
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  24. Bron357
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Bron357 » Mar 21, 2019
    I’m so sorry for you. It’s heartbreaking. Our fur babies are our babies. Just love her every day and enjoy her and give her the best life.
    Sending hugs (and darn these leaky eyes) xxxx
     
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  25. MissGotRocks
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by MissGotRocks » Mar 21, 2019
    I am so sorry for this! I can only imagine how devastating it is to get this news for such a young dog. She really is a beautiful girl. I like the way you are thinking about the procedure and her purpose in your lives - all makes so much sense. I know you will love her real good until the end - whenever that is. I agree with Sandy - sometimes estimates are wrong and when you love something, you just can't live by a timetable. Stinks that your husband is away right now too but maybe it gives each of you some time alone to process it all. Hope how quickly he is home - I am sure it is hard to be alone right now.

    Big hugs to you lovedogs . . how wonderful that her life - however short - will be filled with love and attention and care. I don't believe that life is just a series of random events and I believe that there is a purpose to it all. For as heartbreaking as it is, I am glad she wound up in your home for her sake!
     
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  26. AGBF
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by AGBF » Mar 21, 2019
    I do not have anything to say that has not been said, lovedogs. I just want to take my turn to say it. She is simply wonderful and beautiful and it is so not fair. I would be tearing my hair out and wailing if she were mine. But you have her and you can make her life wonderful. And you do NOT know for how long you will have her.

    As for spoiling her: YES!

    When we had to euthanize my last Lab, Biscuit, he went to vet very happily because he loved to go there. When he got there he was given so many treats. He was surrounded by all of us who loved him and played with him. I refused to be down and not playful. He got meat and got chocolate for the first time in his life. I do not feel bad about his ending. Spoil that baby girl.

    Biggest hugs,
    Deb
     
  27. StephanieLynn
    Ideal_Rock

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    by StephanieLynn » Mar 21, 2019
    @lovedogs my heart really goes out to you, it is so hard to gets news like this about one of our beloved pets. You are in my thoughts, I'm sure you will give her the best life no matter how long that is.
     
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  28. Luvallgems
    Shiny_Rock

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    by Luvallgems » Mar 21, 2019
    I’m so sorry to hear this, from one Doodle Mama to another- I couldn’t imagine only having a limited time with her. Just love her all you can
    right now and know in your heart you made her little life happy while she
    was with you on Earth.:(2
     
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  29. Wewechew
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by Wewechew » Mar 21, 2019
    I am so sorry @lovedogs :( I have lost several dogs over the years and it's always awful, but losing puppies is especially hard.
     
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  30. lyra
    Ideal_Rock

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    by lyra » Mar 21, 2019
    I'm so sorry, this is just heartbreaking. Continue to give her love and she will have her best life ever. I don't know how I'd handle this, but I know I wouldn't do the operation with the questionable odds. She is the sweetest.
     
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