Feeling guilty about (not) tipping

[CJ2008]

I feel guilty that DH and I have never given the girls at our local bagel/coffee shop a Christmas "gift/tip."

We are there every day to pick up bagels/coffee and there's about 6 or 7 girls who take care of us week after week and they go out of their way to make our coffee like we like, etc. We're really nice to them but I feel like we should give them something. But every year, when Christmas rolls around, it's hard to pony up a $20 for each of them, with all the other expenses we go through and the fact that we're struggling a bit financially.

I realize that $20 is very little, if you divide that by say, 300 days. And it's a lot less than if I was to give them $1 every time they took care of us (which we usually wouldn't do anyway - even though DH and I are good tippers when we eat out, etc., we don't tip at bagel/delis, etc. - I just feel this is different because we see them every day. And they don't have a tip jar here.)

I thought of giving them a card and tell them how much we appreciate what they do for us, but I don't because I think they'd be disappointed that it was just a card! I know that the best gift is $.

What would you do?

 

[princesss]

What about writing a letter to their manager, complimenting their work/generally praising the girls that help you and then bringing in cookies or something for them to share? I know I loved seeing those letters posted when I worked retail, especially because we couldn't accept tips (obviously different than a restaurant, but if there's no tip jar they may not be able to accept tips).

 

[yennyfire]

That's a great idea princess! And it's nice that you're thinking about them. I'm sure it wouldn't even cross most people's minds!

 

[Haven]

What about writing a letter to their manager, complimenting their work/generally praising the girls that help you and then bringing in cookies or something for them to share? I know I loved seeing those letters posted when I worked retail, especially because we couldn't accept tips (obviously different than a restaurant, but if there's no tip jar they may not be able to accept tips).

This is a wonderful idea!

And--I'm just jealous that you go out for a bagel and coffee every morning, CJ. What a delicious luxury!

 

[violet3]

I wouldn't feel bad CJ - it's REALLY nice that you are thinking of them at the holiday times. I work in the service industry -- I love seeing all my regulars during the holidays. One couple regularly leaves us envelopes (with a monetary gift) for taking care of them all year -- it's so nice of them, but the first year it happened it was a total shock!!!! I've been in food service for about 15 years on and off, and no one has ever left me money before, and i certainly would never expect anyone to. I'm sure your bagel and coffee workers would NEVER even think to expect a gift from you, so don't be concerned.

If you don't want to spend a lot of money, why not bake them some cookies? One of my girlfriends bakes cookies every year and gifts them -- it's pretty much my FAVORITE gift of the year. Both my husband and I have our favorites out of the batch, and we love when the cookie box arrives. That way they would know you were thinking of them without you having to spend lots of extra money at xmas time!

 

[iLander]

What about writing a letter to their manager, complimenting their work/generally praising the girls that help you and then bringing in cookies or something for them to share? I know I loved seeing those letters posted when I worked retail, especially because we couldn't accept tips (obviously different than a restaurant, but if there's no tip jar they may not be able to accept tips).

This is an excellent idea, and I think they would appreciate it.

 

[Imdanny]

I don't think you should feel guilty about not tipping when it's not customary. They don't have tip jars. They don't expect you to tip. They're probably being paid well enough and treated well enough by management if they're able to be so pleasant and helpful. If it wasn't that kind of work environment, they wouldn't be that way, nor would they last.

 

[allycat0303]

I would definitely bring them a little something they can all share. Our nurses often get little gift baskets, or chocolates to share, and they really appreciate them!

 

[LGK]

Even if you just do a card, I guarantee they'll appreciate it. I work in customer service and we do get cards, oranges, baked goods etc. during the holidays quite a bit. Never had anyone give money, would *definitely* not expect it... but even just a card is totally appreciated, we post all cards up in the break room. I suspect it's the same most places that are customer service oriented, especially those wtih "regulars".

Even if you don't do a card, just being an awesome regular customer is 100% totally great. I always look forward to seeing my favorite customers. So no matter what, just being a friendly appreciative customer, especially during the holidays, is a positive thing!

 

[CJ2008]

Thank you for all your ideas!

It's comforting to hear from people who worked in retail/service that a tip was never expected. I think I kind of "knew" that but it was good to hear anyway. I'm still unsure about what we'll do - but I feel so much better knowing that we can show our appreciation in other ways other than money.

Haven, coffee and bagels are not a luxury - they are essential for my happiness DH and I are supposed to go see a financial advisor within the next couple of months and I know she's going to say that luxury/habit has to go. But I am prepared and willing to give up so many other things and fight for my daily coffee and bagel fix! So we'll see what happens.