Feel bad for ruining surprise

[xxxxxx]

Hi everybody,

I hope this thread is okay in this subforum. I just had a baby six weeks ago and since then I haven't sleept longer than 2h a time so my mental capacity is at its limit. Now something "terrible" (in my eyes) happend. I was at my husbands office and his sisters fiance was there and we were having some small talk when I asked him if he is looking forward to his bachelor party next week. He looked at me and said he didn't know it would be next week. It had somehow slipped my mind that even the date (not only destination) where supposed to be a surprise. I feel so bad for ruining that part of the surprise. In the situation I said sorry and said well at least you don't know the destination and then some others joined our conversation.

Even three hours later I can't forget what happend. Would you reach out to apologize via a short whatsapp message? Should I just let it go? This situation is haunting me!

Thank you for any advice!

 

[SimoneDi]

Congrats on the arrival of your baby! Please don’t feel bad! He is (presumably) a grown man, he should be able to get over the “spoiled” surprise. It’s seriously not a big deal. I knew exactly when and where we were going for my bachelorette party and it was still a surprise and different compared to what I had imagined, in a good way. Let it go and please take care of yourself and your baby, don’t even think about this non-issue.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

Congrats on the new baby. Don't let yourself feel too bad. I think I might call your husbands sister and tell her what happened and that you are sorry. I think people will understand with all the new things on your mind, this slipped out. It happens. Just acknowledge to family or the organizer that it happened. Then forget about it, and get some sleep. No real harm done.

Annette

 

[OoohShiny]

+1 to all of the above.

Sleep deprivation is a method of torturing / pushing prisoners of war to their limits during interrogation, so you can be excused for slipping up!

If you have his number, you could text him to apologise for the slip up, explain how tired you are, and tell him you hope he has a lovely time, whatever he gets up to.

I am personally surprised that he doesn't even know when it is - what if he has other stuff planned? lol

 

[prs]

Don't worry about it, to a guy about to get married, the bachelor party party is the least of his concerns!!

 

[tyty333]

I didnt even know that bachelor partys were supposed to be surprises??? If anything I would talk to him before you apologize to anyone else. He may
just want to keep it a secret that he knows. If I accidentally found out I would not want to spoil it for those doing the planning. It would just be our
little secret.

Edit...Congrats on your new baby!!! I know of this sleep deprivation you speak of. It really affects
every part of your life. Take care...nap when baby naps if possible.

 

[House Cat]

Shit happens. In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t the worst. He didn’t get his party canceled. He didn’t get his wedding canceled! He missed out on a surprise he didn’t even know he was getting.

And your actions didn’t have a single drop of malice. Please forgive yourself. If you feel super terrible still, maybe contribute a super nice bottle of booze to the occasion.

Congrats on the little one. I remember that time of being the walking dead...kind of. Well, I know it happened but I don’t remember the details.

 

[JPie]

If he's anything like my husband, he's forgotten already! Don't beat yourself up over it. Just apologize to him and leave it.

 

[xxxxxx]

Thank you very much for everybodies advice and comforting words. They make me feel far better and put my mind at ease.
I wrote him a short message and he answered that he's fine.
Now I will focus on getting more sleep to avoid more awkward social situations due to my sleep deprivation

 

[Bron357]

Don’t fret, guys aren’t as “thingy” about surprises.
I too often “blab out” secrets and I don’t have any excuse other than I’m rubbish at keeping secrets, I’d never make a secret service agent, I’d be singing like a canary before even asked.

 

[missy]

Thank you very much for everybodies advice and comforting words. They make me feel far better and put my mind at ease.
I wrote him a short message and he answered that he's fine.
Now I will focus on getting more sleep to avoid more awkward social situations due to my sleep deprivation

Yay so glad you feel better about this and that he isn't upset. Men don't generally get upset about these kind of things. It is what I appreciate most about them. Easy going about unimportant stuff. He is marrying the love of his life and they have many happy occasions to look forward to together. This is a blip on the radar. And it will still be a joyous party so no worries. You made an easy mistake. We are only human and we all make mistakes. It wasn't intentional nor malicious. I am glad you feel at peace now about this and it was good you reached out to apologize and it is all OK.

Hope you get some quality and quantity sleep and enjoy sweet dreams. And your newest little addition.

 

[AV_]

Your breaking the news was a surprise ,) Likely not a bad one.

2p

 

[Calliecake]

@Lessics , Enjoy your time with your baby and your family. As others have stated this was more than likely gone from his mind 15 minutes after it was discussed. He knows he’s going to have a nice night out with his friends.
This truly doesn’t even rate as a blip on the radar scale of bad things happening.

Congratulations on your baby!

 

[Slickk]

I wouldn’t worry about it as you have enough to fret over with a new babe. My DS is having a bachelor party and it is not a surprise. How on earth would they get him to Las Vegas without his knowing?! I never heard of a surprise bachelor party but I am sure the groomsmen will make the activities the surprise. I suspect he knew and was pretending not to. My future DIL is doing that about her bachelorette party. No worries. Enjoy and congrats on your new baby.

 

[qubitasaurus]

It probably barely phased him. I would not apologize to anyone else. I also think he may be happiest just pretending he didn't hear it (or forgot about it already -- which is likely pretty close to what is happening in reality).

Congratulations on the new little one, hope someone can help you get a couple more consequtive hours off to sleep.