Wedding Feeding musicians and photographer

[MaggieB]

I have a question. I DO realize that in a normal wedding, the photographer and the musicians are there for hours during an eating time and it is customary to feed them. However, I am trying to figure out what is expected in our circumstance. We are having a SMALL wedding in a riverside chapel in a resort. Then immediately after the ceremony we all walk across the street to the main building and have our sit down dinner in the wine room. All twenty people will be seated at one long table, so it is very intimate. We are going to have the string duo there for the ceremony and then the first hour of dinner. We are going to have the photographer there for an hour before the wedding for getting ready pics, then the ceremony, then about the first hour of dinner also. So, it won''t be like they are there all day and have to eat. Also, I just can''t figure out WHERE I would feed them, unless I just had them sit down with my family which seems really silly.

What is the etiquette in this situation?

 

[doodle]

if they''re doing a service for you while other people are going to be eating, i think you''re supposed to feed them, although you are not obligated to feed them the same thing as your guests, and most caterers will make a smaller, cheaper meal for your vendors, like sandwiches or something. i''m sure there''s a room around your venue somewhere where your vendors can eat, so i wouldn''t worry about having to get them to sit with your guests! they usually don''t eat much anyway because they have to get back to whatever job they were hired to do. hope that helps!

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/18/2008 10:38:48 PM
Author: doodle
if they''re doing a service for you while other people are going to be eating, i think you''re supposed to feed them, although you are not obligated to feed them the same thing as your guests, and most caterers will make a smaller, cheaper meal for your vendors, like sandwiches or something. i''m sure there''s a room around your venue somewhere where your vendors can eat, so i wouldn''t worry about having to get them to sit with your guests! they usually don''t eat much anyway because they have to get back to whatever job they were hired to do. hope that helps!

Ditto.

We''re having an eight-piece band, a photog, and a videographer so we arranged to have the caterer provide meals for them that aren''t quite as fancy shmancy as the food we''re serving our guests. I was at one wedding where the photographer sat for nearly an hour eating. She was seated at my FI''s table (I was in the wedding party so I was at the head table) and when he asked her how she knew the couple and she said she was there photographer he was dismayed--he actually said something like "Well, shouldn''t you be taking pictures, then?"

 

[neatfreak]

We also had a very small intimate luncheon for our reception, and we fed the photographer. I just asked the coordinator at our restaurant if she had another room that we could send the photog to eat, because like you we only had a few tables. It was no problem at all and our photog really appreciated it. It's just the right thing to do IMO.

 

[diamondfan]

I know it is in the contract for some groups, like the band.

You need to feed them and give them beverages, but I do not think you are required to feed them what you are serving. At my son''s bar mitzvah I had a very large band, with 10 members, plus 2 dj''s, and about 8 dancers plus two MC''s. I set up sandwiches, salads, pasta and fruit, sodas, water, coffee and juices in another room they could go hang out in on their breaks. They were more than happy.

 

[musey]

Date: 5/18/2008 10:38:48 PM
Author: doodle
if they''re doing a service for you while other people are going to be eating, i think you''re supposed to feed them

Okay, does this include the DJ, who will be ''spinning'' (haha) during dinner? When would he eat, while working?

And what about ceremony musicians? We''re using just one or two ONLY for the ceremony (then DJ for the reception), but the reception is immediately following (though dinner will be one hour later) and in the same location... do we have to feed them? Or no?

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 5/19/2008 12:29:02 AM
Author: musey

Date: 5/18/2008 10:38:48 PM

Author: doodle

if they're doing a service for you while other people are going to be eating, i think you're supposed to feed them

Okay, does this include the DJ, who will be 'spinning' (haha) during dinner? When would he eat, while working?


And what about ceremony musicians? We're using just one or two ONLY for the ceremony (then DJ for the reception), but the reception is immediately following (though dinner will be one hour later) and in the same location... do we have to feed them? Or no?

DJ: Yes. Make sure someone can bring him a plate or something. He will take breaks after all I assume...

Ceremony musicians I think it is nice to offer, but most likely they will decline.

 

[monarch64]

Absolutely feed all of your vendors, they will all be expecting a meal of some sort. Remember they have taken travel time out of their day, they''re staying with you all day to work, and they probably will not get back home until late. It is only right that you give them something to eat. I think when brides question this (no matter what their venue is or what circumstances) they should think about what it is like to be someone who works in the wedding industry, whether it is a DJ, Officiant, photog, musician, etc. Those people are making their living from your wedding, they deserve a few minutes and some nourishment for a break just like any other worker does in any other industry.

 

[doodle]

Date: 5/19/2008 12:29:02 AM
Author: musey

Date: 5/18/2008 10:38:48 PM

Author: doodle

if they''re doing a service for you while other people are going to be eating, i think you''re supposed to feed them

Okay, does this include the DJ, who will be ''spinning'' (haha) during dinner? When would he eat, while working?


And what about ceremony musicians? We''re using just one or two ONLY for the ceremony (then DJ for the reception), but the reception is immediately following (though dinner will be one hour later) and in the same location... do we have to feed them? Or no?

musey, funny you should ask specifically about a dj...i live in a pretty small town, and our wedding dj is also a local radio personality on two different stations as well as being a wedding dj. he has also known my FI for years because my FI has competed in a bunch of karaoke contests (don''t knock it--we''ve won free vacays!

) so i felt comfortable enough with him to specifically ask him how people usually handle that. he said he''d be perfectly happy with a pb&j as long as he got something and that djs usually grab something quick and easy so they can scarf it down in the middle of a song then get back to their station. he even told me that he had been offered the same to eat as the guests at weddings before and generally wound up just grabbing a couple of rolls in a napkin! for your dj and ceremony musicians, i''d just set out a tray of sandwiches,etc. or pack them a grab bag of stuff or something. it doesn''t have to be elaborate--just something to hold them over and, more importantly, to let them know you thought of and appreciated their help in making your wedding what you wanted.

 

[MaggieB]

Hey everyone, thanks for all of your replies. I think one of you suggested packing a bag, which is what I think I am going to have to do. I don''t mind feeding people at all. It is merely the matter of where. The place where we are getting married is really weird. It is not a hotel. It is a group of villas and homes that are either owned by the resort or else individually owned and rented by the resort. The main building houses the meeting areas, ballroom, wine room, etc. If I had the ballroom, it would be simple to fit a few people at a table to feed them. But the ballroom is being used by their resort Christmas party that night. All I have is the tiny wine room and a single long table. I guess my options are that I can pack food and let them eat outside on the patio, which still seems kind of rude to me. Maybe the resort can suggest something.

Thanks

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 5/19/2008 8:14:16 AM
Author: MaggieB
Hey everyone, thanks for all of your replies. I think one of you suggested packing a bag, which is what I think I am going to have to do. I don''t mind feeding people at all. It is merely the matter of where. The place where we are getting married is really weird. It is not a hotel. It is a group of villas and homes that are either owned by the resort or else individually owned and rented by the resort. The main building houses the meeting areas, ballroom, wine room, etc. If I had the ballroom, it would be simple to fit a few people at a table to feed them. But the ballroom is being used by their resort Christmas party that night. All I have is the tiny wine room and a single long table. I guess my options are that I can pack food and let them eat outside on the patio, which still seems kind of rude to me. Maybe the resort can suggest something.


Thanks

I am sure the resort can suggest something. Like I said we had the same situation and the venue was able to allow our vendors to use the staff break room to relax and eat.

 

[KimberlyH]

Many venues/caterers will offer a boxed meal for vendors. Check with yours to see if it''s an option. We had a wedding similar to yours (small, all guests seated at one table) and our guitarist just asked that we box a meal up and send it home with him. He did a lot of special things for us (learned a song, etc.) so I fed him what our guests ate, but it''s acceptable not to. We only had the photographer for a few hours, so we offered her a meal and she refused it (she worked from 4-7:30).

 

[musey]

Date: 5/19/2008 2:12:05 AM
Author: monarch64
Absolutely feed all of your vendors, they will all be expecting a meal of some sort. Remember they have taken travel time out of their day, they're staying with you all day to work, and they probably will not get back home until late.

I have no objection to feeding them of course, I guess that (with the exception of the photographer) it just never occurred to me... I'm used to working gigs where provided food is only required every six hours. If we work for exactly six hours and are then sent home, we get no food.

So I'm glad it was brought up, otherwise the only vendors I'd have thought to feed would've been the photographer and the DJ, ceremony musicians will be there for less than an hour... $500 PLUS freebie food for a half hour's work would never have occurred to me!

 

[Independent Gal]

Musey I don''t think you have to feed musicians who are only there for 30 minutes! Definitely feed your DJ though. Ours got what we had, but then, he''s an old friend of mine. And our photo actually ate WITH us, but then, she is my MOH''s sister. I think if someone is working, say, 4pm-10pm, you have to give them dinner.

Maggie Just ask the venue if they can take care of it. They''re probably used to this. Also, ask yourself if you and your guests really want a photographer there while you''re eating dinner. I don''t know about you, but I HATE having pics taken while I''m eating. At WP1, we sent our photog home after cocktails, and at WP2, our photog sat down and ate while we were eating, and took up the camera again once the party got going.

 

[HollyS]

You would arrange with the venue to have sandwich/veggie type trays available in a separate room for your musicians and photographer, and wedding planner if you have one. That''s a common practice. I invited my guitarist and photographer to go through the buffet line after guests were served; but they were people I knew.