facebook post...

[smiles]

So a contact I have on facebook posted the following as her status:

"If you have a wonderful man, who helps balance your whole world, who isn't perfect, but is perfect for you, who works hard and would do anything for you, who makes you laugh, who is your best friend, who you want to grow old with, and who you are thankful for every day............then let the world know"

I am wondering what you all think?! Do you feel these things about your SO everyday? Would you post something like this on facebook?

This post really had me thinking that even though I think about the future/engagement with my SO almost daily I do not think about being thankful I have him daily or evaluate these questions daily! Although my personal questions to these answers had me feeling that I had these qualities in my SO something about reading this on facebook also made me slightly uncomfortable... I cannot pinpoint if I just feel this is sort of personal to be advertised on facebook or if I feel like someone who were to post this seems like they are trying to convince themself or something else entirely. Anyways, Thoughts?

 

[Glitz]

I've seen this status posted a few times by a few different friends of mine, and to be honest I think it's a cry for attention or a way for these people to make themselves feel better. Usually the couples on FB that are "so in love" and post back and forth all the time about how much they love each other are totally insecure and want everyone to think they're this super solid couple.

I don't feel the need to broadcast my love for SO across FB. Although SO swiped my iPhone one night and wrote on my "about myself" section "I have the bestest boyfriend in the whole world", he did it to make me look lame!!! As soon as I noticed this it was deleted. Even though I agree I have the "bestest boyfriend ever" I don't think everyone on FB need to know this. I think people who are super personal like this on FB have some issues ... just saying.

 

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends. I've seen similar posts and knowing the person as well as I do, her relationship is a train wreck (patterns of alcoholism, drug abuse, etc. from her husband). I don't know though. I've posted things about celebrating our anniversary, being really thankful for my FI, etc. but not as a daily/weekly/monthly thing.

I do know that my FI's ex from 2003 has a new BF and we're find it pretty entertaining to read her FB page. It's like they live every moment posting song lyrics, their date plans and professions of love. I should mention that they're both nearly 30.

 

[kateydid05]

Althought sweet, this is one of those annoying facebook status thingies going around. Overall I feel that way about my boyfriend but I must admit that somedays he really gets on my nerves. I think that's healthy. I am sure he feels that same way.

I think one of the things that hits most is that he works hard and would do anything for me. He works harder than anyone I know and would drop anything to help me out. When I had a flare of my Crohn's and was hospitalized for a week, he stayed with me every night in the hospital because I did not want to be alone. I knew he was the one after that.

Do I think about all that stuff daily? Nah and that's fine for me. I do not take my boyfriend for granted and I definitely appreciate him for all of those things. I also do not feel the need to proclaim that to anyone. If they know us, then they already know how we feel about eachother.

I wouldn't be uncomfortable seeing that on facebook; however, I get annoyed see ALL those similiar statuses posted. That's just me though.

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

Although this is exactly how I feel about my BF I would never post this on facebook. I just think it's a little cheesy and too "look how awesome my reltionship is". If you really do have such a good relationship everyone that knows you will already know this. I hate these types of posts. I also for some reason hate the whole "my man" description and that's what this reminds me of. I hope I don't offend anyone, it's just my personal opinion

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

Although this is exactly how I feel about my BF I would never post this on facebook. I just think it's a little cheesy and too "look how awesome my reltionship is". If you really do have such a good relationship everyone that knows you will already know this. I hate these types of posts. I also for some reason hate the whole "my man" description and that's what this reminds me of. I hope I don't offend anyone, it's just my personal opinion

I take it back. I think hate may have been too strong of a word. I'll just say it's not for me.

 

[FuturePsyD]

It doesn't offend me, but I do find it a tad much! Why the need to advertise?? I mean I know its a silly little facebook post and people just posts things sometimes just to post them and be active on facebook etc., however if it is an on-going thing where this person is regularly posts stuff about "her man" and their wonderful relationship, I would certainly get annoyed and question the motive.

As for myself, in general, I do feel the things that were mentioned in that post, however not all the time! I have my moments where I feel the opposite of what is in that post and I'm sure he does too. But, overall, the good outweighs the bad. But you will never catch me posting about my relationship in a public forum. Unless you're a teenager, it's kinda tacky IMO!

 

[FuturePsyD]

By public forum, I meant such as Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, etc. where we interact with friends, family and other people we know.

Obviously PS is a public forum and I post stuff here about my relationship!

 

[smiles]

I think you girls really nailed it on the head for me. A healthy relationship has its ups and downs and it seems un-authentic to me to pretend like every single day is a song and a dance because there will be days that you just are not feeling some of those things. (obviously the good should far outweigh the bad etc..)

Thank you for the insight ladies I really appreciate those thoughts!

 

[vintagelover229]

To be honest I've posted it in my facebook...and my relationship is the most amazing thing I've ever had the joy of experiencing. And my boyfriend (who is ANTI-FB) even came home and gave me a kiss and thanked me for the nice post I put on FB about him. I love him dearly and really don't care who reads my FB or not. I don't post it for anyone else but for myself and because after I read the words I couldn't believe how someone else had just described how I felt in such a few short sentences. I understand that some people put that up there for different reasons. I don't post to much on there (more than some, a lot less than others, and I don't have a twitter account) but when I do, it usually has something to do with my boyfriend or how excited I am for an upcoming event. I figure it doesn't matter to me what others think of me, so if I like it, I post it. I use discretion and only post what I am comfortable with people knowing, but as far as their reactions to my posts, I could care less about it. I guess I'm in the minority here! But I'd shout it from the rooftop that my man is the best thing that's ever come into my life and FB is as close to a rooftop I plan on getting any time soon

 

[mariewest]

I love my SO, and I do think I am glad to have him in my life, but I wouldn't post this on facebook. I live with the guy, so I can just tell him all this, why post it for the world to see? It seems a little high schoolish to me.

 

[kelpie]

It's sweet and I do feel that way about him, but we don't advertise because our affection for each other is enough and we live it and show it to eachother (and only eachother) daily. Also it's wrong to rub it in people's faces who don't have someone or are maybe with someone they have tepid feelings about because there are children involved, don't want to be alone, ect..

My brother and sister-in-law need to have their fights on facebook (i.e. I can't believe you had to work late and forgot our anniversary, don't even bother coming home!) and all their lovey dovey and downright raunchy stuff on there too (i.e. Hey sexy, come upstairs). I think it is because they used to live with our parents and they had an audience for their drama and would always try to pull people in to take sides, now that they have a household of their own they use FB as a subliminal way to keep that pattern.

It's right from a post of http://www.stfucouples.com/ (I actually saw a friend's FB post on there once, no I didn't submit it, if you have that much disdain for someone stop pretending you're their friend)

 

[blacksand]

I'm actually surprised at the number of people who think it's immature and selfish. While I do sometimes judge people [a little] by the content they put on facebook, I really don't judge them by the memes they participate in on facebook! I, too, know those couples who feel the need to broadcast their relationship as if it were twelve times more awesome than it will ever be a bit annoying. I'm not fond of couples who post poetry and song lyrics for each other every day. But I really don't see it as attention-grabbing to repost a meme about how your SO is great. It's not even like they wrote out those words of love, they just copied and pasted. It's not much different from pressing the "like" button, really. I like my boyfriend. A little silly maybe, but nice. Would I post it myself? Probably not, as I'm not too much into memes in general, but I certainly wouldn't judge anyway who did. I have posted similar things about my mother and my cousins, because you know what? Sometimes I just want to make my mother and my cousins feel good. They see my status and it makes their day. Everybody likes a little public recognition every now and then. I don't see why my boyfriend should be any different. Yes, I do try to be sensitive, as I don't want to upset my single friends, but otherwise, I see no reason why my boyfriend shouldn't get a little public recognition every once in a while. He certainly deserves it.

 

[Mashira]

I can see both sides. I don't think it would be weird to copy/paste something like that because you liked it. Once. I do, however, have a problem with people that treat their relationship like a Broadway play with audience participation. It's a little annoying. Okay, very annoying. I find it a bit tacky (when it's continuous, not the random once in a while thing) and downright nauseating to see:

Jane Doe: Loves her boyfriend!
John Doe: I love you too baby!
Friend One: You two are adorable!
Jane Doe: Awwwe you're the sweetest junebug! *smoochies* (I think so too, Friend One!)
John Doe: Never snowflake, you're definitely the sweetest thing on earth! *kisses*


..... (runs away to vomit). Ahem. Okay. All better. It's just overkill IMHO.

 

[Haven]

I think this is a boundaries issue. Some people have no problem expressing how they feel about their *partner* in a public forum, while others find it just plain uncomfortable. I'm in the just plain uncomfortable camp. I share a lot here on PS, but I feel anonymous so this is more like an arena to share ideas, let emotions loose, get support, etc., without having to expose our identities. Facebook, on the other hand, is so exposed--your real name is out there, and everything you post is instantly broadcast to all of the people you've befriended on the site. That just makes me uncomfortable, but I'm a really private person IRL, especially where my relationship is concerned. I'd never communicate anything emotional in such a public forum.

I do find FB conversations between adults couples (such as the one Mashira posted) super uncomfortable to witness. It's just so strange to me that people would a) say those things to each other on Facebook, and b) post them when they know their "friends" can see the entire thing. It's just icky to me, as if I'm eavesdropping on them. When teenagers do it, it seems normal, but adults--bizarre.

 

[PrincessNatalie]

I don’t know, each to their own, I do have a little trick for people who just never seem to stop posting annoying unintersting things about their lives though, its called something along the lines of “hide wall posts from this user” button, I have only had to do it to 2 or 3 people though.

The only person on my facebook who does this:

Jane Doe: Loves her boyfriend!
John Doe: I love you too baby!
Friend One: You two are adorable!
Jane Doe: Awwwe you're the sweetest junebug! *smoochies* (I think so too, Friend One!)
John Doe: Never snowflake, you're definitely the sweetest thing on earth! *kisses*

Is 16 and still at school and truly believes that her and her BF will be together forever. They *are* cute (maybe I am bias because I love her lol) but it would seem weird to me if full grown adults were doing it. But whatever floats their boats. I would hide them if it got too much .

 

[Autumnovember]

Personally, I never ever ever ever ever ever ever write anything on my status' about "being in love" or my fiance. It could be because when I do see people do it, I think it is really cheesy and just silly. I don't feel like I need to express my love for my fiance over facebook for everyone to see.

 

[wishful]

Although it doesn't really bother me when someone posts something like that (I tend to just keep on scrolling) it's not my style at all.
This, however, is. hee hee...too bad it's too long to fit as a FB status update!

A Real Man

A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. To dance with abandon. To tell jokes & stories with flare. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.

No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of wine. It’s wine that does all that.......
Never mind.

 

[blacksand]

I still don't find anything troublesome with that status...just a nice, if trite, way to give your man a little recognition. What I did realize bothers me, though, is a far more common phenomenon. Why does everyone feel the need to make their profile pic a couple picture? It's one thing if you just got engaged/married and use a nice pro pic from the wedding. That seems relevant. But if it's just Tuesday and you're just dating (or if you've been married 10 years), I'd really like to see YOU in your profile pic. That's sort of the purpose of the profile pic; it's like a yearbook photo. People identify you by your name and your picture. The couple pics (again, not an occasional wedding pic or something, but those people who ALWAYS have a couple pic for their profile) make me think you identify yourself as a girlfriend/fiancee/wife instead of as an individual.

 

[PrincessNatalie]

Really? I mean really!?

If someone does not know what I look like, well, they aren’t in my friends anyhow. And they can hover over the picture to see who is who if they really haven’t a clue.

I always put up my recent favourite photo, it might be of me, me and my sister, me and my best friend or me and my boyfriend. At the moment its an awesome picture of me, my SO, and two of our best friends at a wedding.

 

[Haven]

I still don't find anything troublesome with that status...just a nice, if trite, way to give your man a little recognition. What I did realize bothers me, though, is a far more common phenomenon. Why does everyone feel the need to make their profile pic a couple picture? It's one thing if you just got engaged/married and use a nice pro pic from the wedding. That seems relevant. But if it's just Tuesday and you're just dating (or if you've been married 10 years), I'd really like to see YOU in your profile pic. That's sort of the purpose of the profile pic; it's like a yearbook photo. People identify you by your name and your picture. The couple pics (again, not an occasional wedding pic or something, but those people who ALWAYS have a couple pic for their profile) make me think you identify yourself as a girlfriend/fiancee/wife instead of as an individual.

What does it say about me if my profile picture is usually a candid shot of me with someone else? I'm not a big fan of posed pictures, but I love random, candid shots that catch us in not-so-flattering moments.

 

[ksmyheart]

Although it doesn't really bother me when someone posts something like that (I tend to just keep on scrolling) it's not my style at all.
This, however, is. hee hee...too bad it's too long to fit as a FB status update!

A Real Man

A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. To dance with abandon. To tell jokes & stories with flare. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.

No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of wine. It’s wine that does all that.......
Never mind.

... just made me choke on my tea ... tonights a good night for wine

 

[blacksand]

Really? I mean really!?

If someone does not know what I look like, well, they aren’t in my friends anyhow. And they can hover over the picture to see who is who if they really haven’t a clue.

Right, but if an old friend is looking for you on facebook and your name is Sarah Smith or something, they will never find you without a picture! I think that's part of this reason this bothers me...I actually did have a good friend growing up named Sarah Smith and goodness knows I will never find her again, ha! But the trend lately with facebook I think is to lock down friend lists more and more, I think, so this might not be relevant for people who are very private and don't want to be found. I've had facebook since 2004 when it was just Boston college students, and everybody could see everybody within the network, and the point was to find people you knew from class or whatever. It's grown and changed a lot since then, and I guess everybody uses it differently, so your experience may vary. I just think it makes sense for people's profile picture, which is the first thing that identifies them on facebook with every comment they leave and when people visit their page, to be a picture of...well...themselves. That actually used to be a rule when you uploaded a picture (you had to certify that the picture was actually you), back in the day. It's obviously not the case now, and I don't so much mind that. But I really don't enjoy seeing people kissing their boyfriends every time they comment on my wall. Or that wedding shot that's been your profile pic for 8 years? Maybe time to change it?

I don't know...bottom line is everyone should do exactly what he/she wants. I frankly just find it funny how things that bother me, like the constant aren't-we-a-cute-couple profile pictures, are perfectly acceptable to others, while this copied and pasted status, which I personally can find no fault with, is perceived as incredibly tacky by others. I just meant it as an interesting commentary on how differently different people see facebook. I'm not trying to offend anyone.

 

[PrincessNatalie]

It does make sense if you are using it to connect with old mates, I really only use Facebook as a tool to share my photos with close friends and family. Any old mates I have already connected with

Really I have had a couple of “should I just take my facebook down?” moments lately because these days the only new people who seem to contact me are old workmates/school friends who are male and don’t seem to understand what “in a relationship with ____” means. It really churns my stomach when guys make unsolicited/weird advances via private message, and that’s all that’s happened lately.

Everyone else I catch up with in real life! So we just share photos of events and travel and such.

You're right, I guess it all depends on what you use it for.

 

[Anonymous]

I can see how it'd be frustrating if you're looking for "Sarah Smith" and the only pic of her is a tiny shot that you can't make out b/c she's one of 10 people. On the other hand, I see absolutely nothing wrong with using a pic that was taken with one friend, BF,FI,DH, pet cat/dog. Mine right now is an awesome pic of FI and I at a concert. Why? Honestly it's because it's the best photo that's been taken of me in a loooong time. If it's a favorite picture, am I supposed to cut him out of the photo? Hehe Besides, I like seeing his wonderful smile every time I log in.

 

[blacksand]

PrincessNatalie, ewwwwww. I've been hearing that a lot lately, about unsolicited advances on facebook. Not sure why, but I've never had that happen. I have a pretty big group of facebook friends, but they're all people I know in some capacity, and nobody's ever been creepy. I only get a few random friend requests every few months or so (if that) and I ignore them. I guess I've just been lucky (or people find my profile pic repulsive ? If you keep getting creepy guys flirting with you, then I take it all back, and suggest you put a kissy pic of you and your SO up, copy and paste the status the OP posted, and write "I just love my wonderful soon-to-be-fiance!" in the little summary box under your picture.


tammy, while my personal preference tends to be for pictures of the person in question so I can see him or her, I still think pictures of you having a good time with other people are great! I love seeing friends, especially old friends, doing new and interesting things with their lives. I guess I just don't like it when every pic is all about the boyfriend. To me, that's much more showy than the status the OP was talking about. Or that one friend I have who has been married for EIGHT YEARS and still has her just-married church photo as her profile pic. Every time I see it, I wonder whether she's done anything in the last eight years but reminisce about her wedding. Maybe that's mean of me, I don't know. It was a lovely wedding, but I mean...she doesn't even look like that anymore! I just want to see what she looks like now and where life has taken her in the last eight years. I want her to be proud of who she is now, and it makes me sad that she seems to only be proud of being someone's wife.

I'm going off on tangents, which means it's bedtime, I think. Sorry!

 

[monarch64]

Eh...I don't necessarily see the point in it, but to each her own. Facebook is one of those things where I've come to adopt the "live and let live" mentality, I guess. A few years ago, when I first joined, I was sort of "omg!" about some things I saw posted, but I learned to just overlook or use the "hide" function with repeat offenders, so to speak.

Sometimes people like to celebrate their relationships with lovey dovey words, and that's great. When they start doing it nonstop, however, is when I start to mentally question their sanity. 85 posts of "we love each other so much and have the best relationship EVAR" usually leads to "so-and-so is SINGLE" with lots of supportive comments, in my experience. A sprinkling of "we had a really fabulous date night tonight after not having been out for a long time" or "I really love my wife/girlfriend/fiancee" is typically tolerable and seems mostly appropriate. Less is more!

It took both of us (myself and my now-fiance) months(!) until we got our statuses updated even to say we were "in a relationship!" Not because we don't want to proclaim our love for each other to the world, but because we just aren't THAT concerned with Facebook status. We tend to communicate more IRL with people who actually CARE whether we're together or not than we do on FB...

Not saying I'm wrong or right...just my personal experience with this social media stuff. I like FB just as much as the next person, but I don't live and die for it, nor do most of my friends and family. It should be fun and productive depending on why you have an account, not stressful!

 

[Nomsdeplume]

I have deleted friends who insisted on having full blown arguments on their status updates or walls. eg:

John: Is really annoyed by people who lie to him.
Jane: Baby I didn't tell you because I knew you would freak out.
John: No, you lied to me blatantly. WTF is your problem? How am I supposed to trust you?
Jane: You're so jealous! It's completely irrational!
John: How am I supposed to act when my girlfriend is whoring around and lying about it?
Jane: That's how you speak to me???? I went to a party John, nothing happened. It's over!

15 minutes later:

John: Is really sorry.
Jane: Screw you.

10 minutes later:

John: Needs to go drinking.
Steve: Let's go mate!
John: Bring your hot friend Lisa.
Jane: You are such a tool.
John: I said I was sorry! Please baby, take me back!
ETC ETC ETC

I wanted to drive to their house and stab them with sharp pencils repeatedly. To me, this type of behaviour says "I'm too immature to handle an adult, face to face conversation."
I don't really get annoyed with the generic copy and paste "I love my man" status updates. I wouldn't do it, but to each his own.

 

[bee*]

I have deleted friends who insisted on having full blown arguments on their status updates or walls. eg:

John: Is really annoyed by people who lie to him.
Jane: Baby I didn't tell you because I knew you would freak out.
John: No, you lied to me blatantly. WTF is your problem? How am I supposed to trust you?
Jane: You're so jealous! It's completely irrational!
John: How am I supposed to act when my girlfriend is whoring around and lying about it?
Jane: That's how you speak to me???? I went to a party John, nothing happened. It's over!

15 minutes later:

John: Is really sorry.
Jane: Screw you.

10 minutes later:

John: Needs to go drinking.
Steve: Let's go mate!
John: Bring your hot friend Lisa.
Jane: You are such a tool.
John: I said I was sorry! Please baby, take me back!
ETC ETC ETC

I wanted to drive to their house and stab them with sharp pencils repeatedly. To me, this type of behaviour says "I'm too immature to handle an adult, face to face conversation."
I don't really get annoyed with the generic copy and paste "I love my man" status updates. I wouldn't do it, but to each his own.

No way! I have had a friend who has argued over the custody battle of her son with the son's father, all over FB. I don't understand why people post such intimate details when everyone can see them!
As for the OP, I'm not a fan of those posts that you're meant to make your status if you feel this way. I love my DH but I'm not one to start declaring it all around FB. It's just not me and it makes me cringe when I see posts like that. I find the hide/ignore button excellent and have used it about 4/5 times.

 

[Tuckins1]

I don't do social networking sites, but YES I do feel this way about DH. He is the light of my life and makes my life ten times better every day!