Excited but Confused..Need some advice

[LoveRoundBrillants]

OK so it seems that my proposal is coming sooner then i thought

, which of course is a good thing! But here is my problem...

So and I are in the car talking (we were on our way to my friends bday party), and he asked me, If he proposed to me would I be ok to wait to announce it to my parents and family. My first reaction was I was stunned, because we talk about the ring and we talk about getting married, but he NEVER brings up actually proposing. Anyways i said I guess I would be ok with that..but why? So he said that he had plans on proposing, but his dad lives overseas and does not think he will be coming to the US until April. He wants to announce it to my parents and his dad at the same time. I want to repsect his wishes, since his dad is everything to him ( mother passed away at a young age) and not have his dad feel left out. Well the problem is that we dont live together...so what do i do?? Take my ring off when i get home? How bizarre....

. Or should I just say wait to propose...but how could those words even come out of my mouth..lol.

 

[goodfun7580]

I think its really sweet that he wants to wait to tell everyone till his dad is back, but if thats the case you might as well wait it out till April so that you can shout it from the rooftops to everyone you know and you can still honor your SOs request! Good luck with the wait!

 

[LaraOnline]

Ooh, this is kind of 'delicious dilemma', is it not?!
Is he suggesting that no-one - not even your family - is to know about the engagement until Dad comes home and can be told in person?
Or could you tell your Mum and Dad?
Is there a risk that the news could get back to his Dad if the news is leaked earlier?

I'm not sure that delaying the announcement - whereby your parents are kept from the news for four months - is exactly fair either.

Wouldn't your Mum want to know right away? You would have to tell someone, right? And how could you not wear your ring, if it was there to be worn?

Oh well, I would probably prefer to be engaged and wrestle with the secret. Either way, it sounds like it's ON, baby!

 

[Dreamgirl]

I see where he is coming from but if it were me, there would be NO WAY I would ever wait to tell my parents. I''d either just tell them that I was engaged, or tell FF to hold off on the proposal if it is that important to him to wait to tell everyone....

 

[EyeElle]

I must first say congrats on the upcoming proposal

I kind of see this situation as having the same end result. You either get proposed to and keep it a secret and tell no one, or you wait as you have been doing for a later proposal. Either way, you have to wait to announce it.

The joy here will be entirely yours and your fiances if he proposes either. Because this way you can at least enjoy the ring on your finger, even if noone else knows you have it.

On the flip side, you will have to take it off on a regular basis and that leads to the possibility of losing/misplacing it or damaging it, which could be worrysome.

I don''t think I am helping here am I haha

The simple answer, I would wait ... and start the wedding planning to tie you over

 

[kittybean]

Date: 1/20/2009 6:40:58 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
I see where he is coming from but if it were me, there would be NO WAY I would ever wait to tell my parents. I''d either just tell them that I was engaged, or tell FF to hold off on the proposal if it is that important to him to wait to tell everyone....

Ditto.

My mom and I are very, very close, and there''s no way I could''ve kept the secret from her. I also wear my ring pretty much 24/7; it would be very uncomfortable to have to take it off and keep up the charade for that long a time period. I would say, "Either we wait, or I tell my parents right away." I personally couldn''t even wait a couple days to tell my parents in person--I called them about half an hour after the proposal happened since we were away.

 

[purselover]

I think it''s sweet he wants to wait to tell everyone at the same time, if it were me I would just wait and take off the ring when my parents were around, but I can see how that would not work for everyone.

 

[Winks_Elf]

I would tell him if those are his wishes to just wait until his dad is here because there''s no way you could keep that in for so long, and it will kind of take the wind out of your sail to have been wearing the ring for a few months and suddenly have to act surprised. You only get that newly engaged feeling for a short period of time, and you want your reaction to be genuine when he proposes.

Congratulations in advance...April will be here before you know it!

 

[LoveRoundBrillants]

Thanks for your advice and support...i dont know what i would do without you guys

I still have not made my decision...but I suspected putting ring on and taking it off would be a big hassle. I dont think my parents would be upset or anything if i told them in April that I actually got the ring in Feb (or whenever he decides to give it to me). I think they would understand with his dad being so important to him. AHHH lots to think about!

 

[mrscushion]

I''m gonna just say here that if it were me I would take that proposal as soon as I could get it! The sooner, the better!

 

[LoveRoundBrillants]

Date: 1/20/2009 6:39:11 PM
Author: LaraOnline
Ooh, this is kind of ''delicious dilemma'', is it not?!
Is he suggesting that no-one - not even your family - is to know about the engagement until Dad comes home and can be told in person?
Or could you tell your Mum and Dad?
Is there a risk that the news could get back to his Dad if the news is leaked earlier?

I''m not sure that delaying the announcement - whereby your parents are kept from the news for four months - is exactly fair either.

Wouldn''t your Mum want to know right away? You would have to tell someone, right? And how could you not wear your ring, if it was there to be worn?

Oh well, I would probably prefer to be engaged and wrestle with the secret. Either way, it sounds like it''s ON, baby!

LaraOnline..yes he is asking me to not tell my parents...so that both of our parents can hear the news together. My parents would want to know right away, but i think they would understand. I do want that ring on my finger..but what would be the joy if i can''t tell my parents, who mean so much to me? But anticipating the proposal and ring make me wanna say wrestle with the secret..haha

 

[LoveRoundBrillants]

Date: 1/20/2009 10:59:09 PM
Author: mscushion
I''m gonna just say here that if it were me I would take that proposal as soon as I could get it! The sooner, the better!

HAHA yes mscushion...you know exactly how i feel! LOL

 

[katica]

Wow that is a tough one!

If that was me, I would ask him to propose later because
1. I wouldn''t be able to or want to keep it a secret
2. I think my parents would be hurt and would feel disrespected
But that''s just my family and I don''t know yours so that might not be the case. I really don''t know what to advise.. just go with your gut and what would make YOU happy

 

[LoveRoundBrillants]

Hey guys...just to give you an update....

I talked to my BF last night and he said that he just didnt want to risk his dad finding out from a 3rd source. So i told him what if i tell my parents when it happens and explain to them that they can not tell anyone (distant family and friend) because his dad is not coming for a few months. He said he will most likey tell his dad over the phone and tell him "we''re waiting for him to come so we can throw an engagement party"

So all in all im happy

i get the ring SOOOON and i get to tell my parents...which is a big relief! Now i just have to wait for him to propose

V-day? Just a guess....

 

[KatM]

Date: 1/22/2009 10:44:50 AM
Author: LoveRoundBrillants
He said he will most likey tell his dad over the phone and tell him ''we''re waiting for him to come so we can throw an engagement party''

That sounds like a good option. You don''t have to wait longer or keep it a secret (i don''t know that i would ever be able to keep something like that a secret), and his dad gets to feel like he is as valued as everyone else. Let us know how it goes!

 

[Bia]

Just wanted to add that your BF sounds like a sweetheart.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Do your parents and his father know each other or have mutual friends? I''m wondering why your bf is thinking his father may find out, when he is not even in the country.

That''s great that he won''t make you wait though.

 

[LoveRoundBrillants]

Bia- Thanks so much...he sure is and has defintely been very supportive and understanding of my rollercoaster emotions about this engagement.

Winks Elf- no they dont really have common friends, i guess he just didnt want to take the risk of anyone telling him...but i think he thought about it and anyone of my bf''s family friends who saw might ring might mention it...so he thought it would be better to tell him over the phone.

Anywoo im happy with the decision...i hope to posting my ring SOON!