shape
carat
color
clarity
  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. PriceScope Upgrade Completed
    For issues, questions and comments click the link below
    https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/pricescope-upgraded-comments-and-issues.229551/

    Dismiss Notice

Excited and Bummed.... how would you feel?

Discussion in 'Ladies in Waiting' started by GoingCrazy29, Oct 30, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. GoingCrazy29
    Shiny_Rock

    Messages:
    373
    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    by GoingCrazy29 » Oct 30, 2008
    First some background. My FF and I began our ring search this summer, and I found a stone and a setting that I really liked. We had decided earlier that I wasn''t going to actually pick my exact ring, I was just going to let him know things I like about settings (tiny halo, micropave, no bezel) and stone (cushion cut, no lower than H, eye clean, etc) and then he would either customize a ring to be made or find one that matches the criteria so I have at least a little surprise. He is also super secretive about when the proposal will be because he wants me to be shocked (and so do I!). At this one store that we found the stone and setting I really liked I spoke with the sales girl quite a bit and she was great. I even brought my mom back to a few stores to see what kind of things we were looking at and introduced her to the sales girl even nothing had been set in stone (no pun intended)that we would even purchase from them. After our designated ring shopping days I was not allowed to go back to jewelry stores or know anything else about what FF had up his sleeve.

    Fast forward to now. I know he has been saving and I''ve been dreaming about what ring I''ll get because I''m really not sure what he plans (customize it, where he is getting the stone, setting, etc). However, I just got an email from the Sales girl from the store I liked yesterday asking me about how I want the ring set (airstrip or no, etc) and told me "mums the word to FF". Well, now I''m really excited because I think I know which setting and stone he is getting me and I know it will be done how I want it. However I am SUPER bummed that she contacted me and told me that basically he has come to them, it totally takes away a big part of the surprise I was so excited about. Plus, now I have to keep a secret from my FF and I hate doing that but I don''t want him to know I know anything because he is SO excited about the surprise.

    Anyway it boils down to, I''m excited to know that he is actually talking to them and that it looks like things are starting to roll but I''m super bummed that she contacted me! She said that "because we spoke earlier she figured it was ok" and knew I was specific about how I want things (which I appreciate that she wants to make sure I have it how I want it).

    How would you feel about this? Am I silly to be bummed when I know he is getting me a stone and setting I love and it might be sooner than I thought?!

    ETA: Wow, sorry so long!
     
  2. purrfectpear
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    4,080
    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2008
    by purrfectpear » Oct 30, 2008
    How old is that salesgirl, 10? This isn''t grade school. She should be fired. That is THE most unprofessional thing I''ve heard of. The owners would be appalled. [​IMG]
     
  3. GoingCrazy29
    Shiny_Rock

    Messages:
    373
    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    by GoingCrazy29 » Oct 30, 2008
    Thank you! I agree! I just wish so badly that she had asked FF these questions, we had talked about it so much that he would have known all the answers to the questions she asked me. My feelings are just so up and down from excitement to being upset that she basically took away one of the biggest surprises that I was SO looking forward to. I know that no matter what everything will be wonderful when he proposes, and I still have no idea when he''ll do it. I basically hate that I have to keep this from FF, but I just don''t want to take away his excitement about surprising me with the ring. UGH!
     
  4. IrishEyes08
    Rough_Rock

    Messages:
    95
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2008
    by IrishEyes08 » Oct 30, 2008
    Ugh, what an idiot of a salesgirl. Even if she was trying to be helpful, not ok. I would be bummed too, but I totally agree that you have to be quiet about it and not tell her FF, EVER. My BF would be so crushed to know that his surprise was blown, I''d keep it to myself for the sake of not upsetting him.

    As for you being surprised - I''d write back to the salesgirl "BF and I decided he would make all decisions from here out. It''s up to him what my final ring will look like, he has excellent taste so I am excited to be completed surprised by what he selects. Please don''t share any more details or information with me, I really want to be surprised"

    I think you will be surprised/blown away in the moment when he proposes with a ring he chose, hang in there!
     
  5. megster84
    Rough_Rock

    Messages:
    62
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2008
    by megster84 » Oct 30, 2008
    OMG...I would be so upset/excited too! That is awful of the salesgirl[​IMG]. She shuold have gone to your FF first and if he didn''t know the answer then he could have asked you, since you two were already ring shopping and it sounds like the process has been open with you two. I am so sorry for you, especially since you don''t want to ruin it for your FF either. Yet, either way, at the end of the day, it is super duper exciting! Soon you will be leaving us for BWW...[​IMG]
     
  6. neatfreak
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    14,164
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2007
    by neatfreak » Oct 30, 2008
    I''d feel excited but bummed! Seriously, I am sure she thought she was being nice, but really, she needs to know that it was EXTREMELY unprofessional to ruin one of the biggest surprises of your life!
     
  7. ckrickett
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    5,348
    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2008
    by ckrickett » Oct 30, 2008
    I agree with the ladies here that was unprofessional. I mean this is something HUGE, I would be very crushed and I know my SO would be crushed to if someone did that. I'm not saying she didn't mean well she probably has good intentions and wanted you to have the ring of your dreams, but it does take a teensy bit of common sense to realize "hey this is an Ering, she may not want to know EXACTLY what's going on or want a clue to that it is in production", that's just me tho. I mean if you don't like a setting things can be changed, but the suprise is ruined forever (unless your FF finds out and decides to wait longer)[​IMG]

    anyway congrats, but I'm so sorry It was ruined for you!
     
  8. i_heart_cushions
    Shiny_Rock

    Messages:
    179
    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2008
    by i_heart_cushions » Oct 30, 2008
    I agree with IrishEyes08!!

    First of all - EEEEE!!! [​IMG] I''m so excited that you are getting the ring!! But also disappointed for you that she kind of ruined your BF''s surprise. You''d think she would have more tact than that - I mean, whether or not you had any input on the ring, you''d think that on a professional level AND a LOGICAL level as a rational human being that she would''ve used some common sense! How did she even get your email?!?!?

    But as IrishEyes08 said, I wouldn''t say anything to your BF about it now. No point in ruining for the BOTH of you...but once the proposal has happened - I suggest you write a STRONGLY worded letter to her anc CC her manager of this jewelry store letting them know how unprofessional her behaviour was - and feel free to send a copy to the jewelry store head office too!

    I know this is upsetting - but just think about the positive: you are getting the ring of your dreams SOON, and this sure will make your proposal story that much funnier in the end! [​IMG]

    Also, you won''t know exactly how he''ll propose or exactly when he''ll do it. I''m confident you will still get your surprise in the end.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes!
     
  9. Deelight
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    5,544
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2007
    by Deelight » Oct 30, 2008
    I have to agree completely unprofessional and at the very least she should be reprimanded sternly.

    I would let your FF know, what happens if she lets the beans spill or he finds out some other way? Honesty is the best policy IMO in this case it isn't your fault - she dropped the ball. In saying that I knew a few of the design elements my ring but I can tell you it still blew my socks off surprised me when I saw it in a good way.
     
  10. Clairitek
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    4,881
    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2008
    by Clairitek » Oct 30, 2008
    I agree PP.

    I would be pretty bummed if the jeweler that FF and I originally visited contacted me to find out some specifics on what I wanted in my setting. Its awesome for you that you know he is working on your ring but it stinks that this lady ruined some of the surprise that he tried so hard to conceal.

    Any chance he had her send an email to throw you off the track?

    ETA: After reading the other responses I agree with Deelight too on telling your FF about the email. I'd hate for him to find out AFTER the proposal that you knew what ring you were getting all along.
     
  11. GoingCrazy29
    Shiny_Rock

    Messages:
    373
    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    by GoingCrazy29 » Oct 30, 2008
    Thanks so much for all of your replies, it makes me feel better than I am right in being this upset.

    To answer some questions:
    1. After we first visited she gave us her cards, I emailed her later to see what time the store was open on Saturday so I could bring my mom. That is how she had my email.
    2. There is unfortunately no way that FF had her email me to throw me off track.

    I see pros and cons for telling him and not telling him. I REALLY don''t want to ruin his surprise that he is so excited about, it is one of the most important things to him that I''m surprised. I still don''t know when the proposal will be, and I kind of already knew what the ring would look like because I gave him so many specific requirements. Its not like it may have been a solitaire or something, I knew it would be a cushion with tiny halo- I just hate that she let me know the exact setting. I am not telling ANYONE IRL about this email she sent me, so the only way he would find out would be from the sales girl who mentioned in her email 2-3 times to keep it from FF so I doubt she would let it spill since she obviously recognizes it was unprofessional.

    I know it will still be a wonderful surprised moment when he proposes, and its been since June since I''ve even seen the setting so I''m'' sure I will still be surprised and delighted.

    Ugh, I just don''t know what to do. I hate that she did this...
     
  12. jcarlylew82
    Shiny_Rock

    Messages:
    413
    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2008
    by jcarlylew82 » Oct 30, 2008
    well, desipite the silly sales girl...


    congrats!! :)
     
  13. swingirl
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    5,625
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2006
    by swingirl » Oct 30, 2008
    Sorry for your disappointment. She should only be working with the paying customer, your FF. But I can see how giving her an email address would have thrown her off about the whole surprise thing and who to contact.

    However, you still don''t know what the ring will look like, you don''t know when you''ll be proposed to, and you kinda knew the ring would be coming from this place anyway. So it''s not really spoiled. The only thing you know if which store it is coming from and that it''s being worked on.

    It''s hard to say if this burden of keeping your FF''s surprise should be your burden to bear. I would be tempted to tell him an email came to your email address that was meant for him. He should be the one to complain to the store manager. It seems unfair that you have to be upset and hide your knowledge. I agree white lies are fine in some circumstances but is this one of them?

    BUT you know the PS community is going to drool over it and bug you for photos no matter what. And we have a hard time waiting for surprises, too!!
     
  14. neatfreak
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    14,164
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2007
    by neatfreak » Oct 30, 2008
    I wouldn''t tell him...it might ruin the process for him...
     
  15. Pushin40
    Brilliant_Rock

    Messages:
    617
    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2008
    by Pushin40 » Oct 30, 2008
    Wow - I'm really upset reading about this! [​IMG] WTF!

    I really don't know what I'd do. I think I would want to tell FF....but....if your FF is anything like mine, I bet he would tell her to go fly a kite and take his business elsewhere. And you probably don't want him to do that.....[​IMG]

    I would email the salesgirl and tell her how upsetting this is, and she should NEVER do this again. What a jerk.

    And she knows what she's doing....she keeps saying this is on the hush-hush. [​IMG]
     
  16. fieryred33143
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    6,689
    Joined:
    May 18, 2008
    by fieryred33143 » Oct 30, 2008
    D
    I
    T
    T
    O

    That was beyond unprofessional.

    As for the big surprise...I was there when he bought the ring, knew what it looked like, and even knew where it was hidden so I would peak at it from time to time.

    But the day he proposed was the biggest, best surprise of my life[​IMG]

    You''ll be surprised, trust me[​IMG]
     
  17. Inanna
    Brilliant_Rock

    Messages:
    565
    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2008
    by Inanna » Oct 30, 2008
    Agreed 100%

    Whether you tell your FF about this or not, you should make it very clear to this salesgirl that her emailing you was entirely unacceptable and damaging to your surprise. I think you should also inform the owner of the jewelry store. This salesgirl should be fired or at the very least harshly reprimanded.

    I''m very sorry you''re dealing with this. On the bright side I''m sure your ring will be gorgeous and you will definitely be surprised when he proposes.
     
  18. BlueSki231
    Brilliant_Rock

    Messages:
    855
    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2008
    by BlueSki231 » Oct 30, 2008
    EXACTLY what i was gonna say. If this saleswoman was totally ignorant of what she was doing she wouldn''t have told you not to tell FF.

    Honestly, I would tell him. I wouldn''t be able to live with this secret!! Maybe he SHOULD take his business elsewhere...
    maybe to WF or GOG [​IMG]

    I mean, put yourself in your guy''s place. I know if i were in his place I would want to know something like that. I''d want to know my surprise was ruined so I could take my big purchase to a store that was more professional!! If you DO tell him.. you can still have your surprise!! And there should be no reason FF would be mad at you. It''s not your fault that the SA emailed you.

    I vote come clean and tell him - he may really appreciate it in the end, however angry he may initially be.
     
  19. GoingCrazy29
    Shiny_Rock

    Messages:
    373
    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    by GoingCrazy29 » Oct 30, 2008

    I agree, but when we visited the first time my FF gave her HIS email so she could contact him. She obviously knew what she was doing by emailing me when she had his email and phone number to speak with him about questions. She knew I was very specific and I''m sure she thought I would appreciate it. Maybe she didn''t realize it was such a surprise since we were there together and I went back with my mom, maybe she didn''t realize I wasn''t certain of the exact ring I would be getting. Anyway, it was still wrong of her to email me and not FF.

    You''re right, I am not sure what the ring will look like. I''ve never seen the stone we liked in this setting and I''m sure I will be stunned and love it! It did let me know that it may be coming sooner than expected, but he could quite possibly hold on to it after he gets it for awhile too- so my surprise isn''t completely ruined and I know I''ll be stunned no matter when it is.

    I''m learning towards not saying anything to FF. I just know he would be so crushed that his surprise was even the least bit ruined, and I really do love the stone and setting. I think I''m just going to keep my mouth shut and not say ANYTHING about it to anyone, just pretend it never happened. I can''t bear to think about what his face would look like if I told him I knew what he was getting me and that he is in contact with them. It makes me sick. You all are right in saying that no matter what I will be surprised and overjoyed, I just want him to be as elated as I am and I feel that if he knew about this he wouldn''t be.

    I will write a letter to the salesgirl and copy the owner of the store on it. I will ask her to please contact FF with any other questions as I was hoping to be surprised by the ring and now that is impossible.
     
  20. fieryred33143
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    6,689
    Joined:
    May 18, 2008
    by fieryred33143 » Oct 30, 2008
    I was leaning more towards telling your FF but if he''s going to be crushed, then I agree its not a good idea.

    I would have said something only because that gives him more barganing power[​IMG]
     
  21. sammyj
    Brilliant_Rock

    Messages:
    1,247
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    by sammyj » Oct 30, 2008
    GoingCrazy, I think we''re all angrier and more appalled at the salesgirl than you are!!! Maybe excitement is taking over...as it should!!! If it were me, I would definitely email the salesgirl back and let her know that she shouldn''t be contacting you anymore. I also think that it''s important to reiterate that your ring was supposed to be a surprise and that you are disappointed that she spilled the beans...hopefully she''ll get the hint and never do it again!!! In terms of complaining to her manager, I think it depends on whether or not she is a good employee and this was one minor mistake. While I think what she did was entirely unprofessional, I do think she had your best interest in mind.

    Can''t wait to see thing ring when it arrives! [​IMG]
     
  22. GoingCrazy29
    Shiny_Rock

    Messages:
    373
    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    by GoingCrazy29 » Oct 31, 2008
    I can see where you see that, but believe me I am upset. I guess I am trying to rationalize her behavior so that I don't continue to be upset and dwell on this when I'm trying to forget about it and be excited. Its easier for me to try and understand why she did this instead of being continually angry. I am i the process of writing her a strongly worded letter expressing my disappointment and will copy the owner and let him know I think this is completely unprofessional and it ruined a big surprise for me. Other than that, there is not much I can do so I'm trying to let it go and not waste my time and energy being upset with her, I won't let her ruin any other aspect of this exciting time for us.

    Thanks for all of your replies, it really did help![​IMG]
     
  23. emeraldlover1
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    2,913
    Joined:
    May 20, 2006
    by emeraldlover1 » Oct 31, 2008
    I was still surprised and I knew it was coming! So...we don''t know the whole situation or interactions you''ve had with this girl. Yeah, it kinda stinks that you know but really, you''ve had the talk so you know its coming. I think if it were me (and its not) I''d be ok with her communication because I like control. So, I think its is great. She probably shouldn''t have done that but really..if it were me, I would totally appreciate that.

    YAY!!!
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page