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Ever run into someone you haven''t seen in a long time...

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Tuckins1

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 13, 2008
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...and totally put your foot in your mouth?

I ran into someone at the gym that I haven''t seen in about a year. Last I knew, she was engaged and planning a wedding. So, I give her a big hug and say "how''s married life?" She then tells me "I didn''t get married... We broke it off". Ummmmmm- oops! I felt bad for bringing it up, but how was I supposed to know? Anyone ever have something like this happen to them?
 

allycat0303

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
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3,255
I said the most awful thing 6-7 years ago. I mean it still reasonates with me, over, and over again. I saw this high school friend at the mall. We hadn''t seen each other in 3 years maybe. He was a *friend* not close but not acqaintance either. In any case, he was a preppy nerdy guy and when I saw him, he had red hair (fire engine) and the bangs were standing straight up, and they were long a good 4.5-5 inch spike. So he says, "Hi Ally" and I respond "Oh my gosh what happened to your hair???!!!" I don''t know what I was thinking, the shock, etc., but it just came out. I still blush thinking about it. It''s the only time I remember saying something really, really rude.

But your situation...AWKWARD. I hope it was mutual and her decision so she doesn''t feel bad. Ugh. But you didn''t know. Totally not your fault.
 

Italiahaircolor

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
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5,184
Oh Truckin, you couldn''t have known that they ended their relationship, your greeting was friendly and warm. Please don''t feel bad, you just went on the information you had!
 

Italiahaircolor

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
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5,184
Date: 4/18/2009 9:20:38 AM
Author: allycat0303
I said the most awful thing 6-7 years ago. I mean it still reasonates with me, over, and over again. I saw this high school friend at the mall. We hadn''t seen each other in 3 years maybe. He was a *friend* not close but not acqaintance either. In any case, he was a preppy nerdy guy and when I saw him, he had red hair (fire engine) and the bangs were standing straight up, and they were long a good 4.5-5 inch spike. So he says, ''Hi Ally'' and I respond ''Oh my gosh what happened to your hair???!!!'' I don''t know what I was thinking, the shock, etc., but it just came out. I still blush thinking about it. It''s the only time I remember saying something really, really rude.

But your situation...AWKWARD. I hope it was mutual and her decision so she doesn''t feel bad. Ugh. But you didn''t know. Totally not your fault.
Ouch...chalk it up to shock and awe. I am sure you''re not the first person who has been like "what the hell happened to our preppy nerdy friend????"
 

KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
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7,485
I''ve been on both ends of conversations like that, Tuckins, and you didn''t do anything wrong. Don''t spend another minute feeling bad.

If it helps here''s a story for you: a close relative had breast cancer and the first time I saw her after chemo her hair had started to grow back. It had turned into a darling little curly pixie cut (her hair was usually straight and shoulder-length). I made some offhand remark about shaving my own head so my hair would look grow back to be as cute as hers. As soon as I said it I felt like a royal a$$, still do, it just fell right out of my mouth. She replied, very cooly, "It doesn''t work like that." I was so embarrassed, and felt so horrible, I never even apologized, I was speechless. I still feel bad about it to this day, and I need to let it go too.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
You weren''t to know so don''t feel bad. I''ve done things like that before-I''m always putting my foot in it!
 

April20

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 1, 2008
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3,312
You couldn''t have known- I wouldn''t worry about it at all. I bet she expects to be asked when she sees people she hasn''t seen in a while.

I read the paper in the small town where I grew up online. They post obits, births, marriages, etc. I read it so that I at least have a clue what''s going on with people when I go back. I sure as heck don''t want to ask someone how their mama is if she''s died recently and I missed it. It''s actually saved me a couple of times.
 

chiapet

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2008
Messages
553
I filed for divorce last year and I''m still constantly bumping into people that I haven''t seen or spoken to in a year and being asked "How is married life?" etc... Don''t worry, it''s not as bad as you think it is. I usually just explain the situation and then move on to another topic. It doesn''t bother me at all.
 

AmberGretchen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
7,770
Ditto to the others Tuckins - you couldn''t possibly have known. I think we''ve all had moments like that, of putting our foot in it, knowingly or otherwise. I''ve been on the other side of that, and honestly, I just chalk it up to everybody being human and let it go - there are things in life its just not worth beating yourself up about, and this is definitely one of them.
 

SarahLovesJS

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2008
Messages
5,206
Don''t feel bad, like everyone else said..it''s not your fault. There''s a ton of these stories from around the time my Grandpa died and even after because it was kind of sudden even though he was ill. People often asked my Mom, "How''s your Dad?" Which did bring back the pain, but it''s a different situation completely.

Here''s two semi-funny ones for you..funny in that they happened one right after another: At my engagement party I had one of my cousins there and his girlfriend and my Grandma was there as well and FI''s immediate family was there.

Well my Grandma asks my cousin, "How''s your dog? I bet she''s getting old by now!"
Cousin: ..she had to be put down last year.

Grandma: Oh..I''m sorry..


And then not even 5 minutes later..

FMIL: J how is your fish?!
FI: He died last week...


Obviously their sadness was not funny, but the situation in of itself..two questions like that right in a row..wow we all ended up having a good laugh about it (including FI and cousin). So again..we all do it, don''t feel bad.
 

Tuckins1

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
8,614
She seemed fine after she told me they had split up... No worries! She is a very jolly person!
 
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