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nyc7782

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2008
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I''ve been lurking for awhile and just got engaged! We''re starting to think about wedding dates, and I''m not sure what to do. I''ve always wanted a Fall wedding so we are starting to look into an October wedding in Vermont or upstate NY. But, I''m a little worried that it will just be too stressful to plan a wedding so quickly, especially since I''m in NYC and would be planning long distance. So, we''re also considering May or June 2010 but that just seems so far away. So, I''m wondering what you guys think...is 16 months so long it will drive me crazy both with planning and because I just want to be married already? Or is 9 months too short to really plan without being stressed? We live together and have been together since college (almost 7 years) so we already feel sort of married but I still feel very ready to make it official. Any thoughts you have on engagement lengths and planning would be great! Thanks so much!!!
 
It depends how organized you can be and how much you trust the people around you to plan a long distance wedding. I'm planning an east coast wedding from the midwest and did so relatively easily during our 10 month engagement. I still have a few things left on the to-do list, but I let my mom meet with the florist and I've really trusted the people locally to help me out. Granted, I feel like I'm somewhat laid back about things, so if things aren't perfect, I'm not sure I'd even notice haha. We got a lot of the BIG things (reception, church, pastors) done in the first month then the rest fell into place. We did a lot of planning when we went home for a week over the holidays, but that's the only time we'll be home before the wedding. It is possible.

My friend has a 16 month engagement, and while it works for her, she also said that she's getting antsy. She's got 4 months to go, and she is just ready to be married. Granted, I've only waited 8 months of my 10 and I'm ready now. The wait is going to be killer pretty much no matter what :) haha

ETA: CONGRATS ON GETTING ENGAGED! That's has to be so exciting!!
 
Congrats on your engagement!

My FI and I are also looking at May/June 2010 right now. Actually, June 27th is our first choice of date at the moment! At first I was a little sad about having to wait so long but for us, this year just isn''t an option for the kind of weather we want for our reception.

Why don''t you start off by trying to find a venue for this October and see how that goes. If it seems like you''d have to compromise too much on the kind of venue you want to get something for this year then switch your focus to next year and relax a little.

From my own experience I know that I will be able to relax and enjoy the engagement more once the church, venue, and photographer are chosen. Then FI and I can have all the time we need to perfect our decor and find the best deals since we have a tight budget (well, for our area anyway). I was once worried like you that 16 months would be too long but now I''m sorta excited that I will have the time to do DIY invites, favors, and decor.
 
I''ve been engaged since May of ''08 and I am planning on getting married in Fall 2010 or early 2011. It seems like a long ways off, but I think it''s great. These past 8 months have flown by so fast, I can''t imagine getting married after only a few months. But I am the type of person that needs to think of every scenario in order to be sure that I''m doing what I really want. lol

Bottom line is, I don''t think that 16 months is too long AT ALL. I think that you will really be able to enjoy it more that way. Engagement is every bit as important as dating, and very few people give themselves enough time to really enjoy it as a particular stage in their lives.
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If you want a fall wedding, I think 10 months is not bad. I have had friends who planned weddings in less time. My friend planned his Napa wedding from England in 6 months. It all depends on how organized you are and you might need to make concessions if people are booked, etc. Do what feels right. Have a friend in the area help you coordinate or if you could afford it, you might want to consider hiring a wedding coordinator in the area where you plan to wed.
 
I do have to echo what Claritek said about the DIY stuff. With a 10 month engagement, I made the STDs, Invitations (and inserts), my veil (with a handbeaded edging around all three layers), and now am focusing on escort cards, menus, table numbers, welcome gifts, labels for the bubbles and favors (making the favors and the tags to go with them).

There are some days I feel like an extra month or two would be so nice, especially when I feel like my projects are getting the better of me. So that is another consideration.

I also like her suggestion about just seeing what is even available. That''s a great start.
 
I'm not having your problem because I want to have plenty of time--the more the better as far as I'm concerned. However, if you feel you can plan a wedding quickly, go for it! I've seen beautiful weddings that were planned in 6 months or less. Really you just have to flexible and very, very organized (and have the money of course).

I do want to note that, time goes by really really fast. My brother and his wife had a long engagement, almost two years (like my FI and I plan to have), and the time literally flew.

I am not ready to start planning because I have too much on my plate with school, but when I do, I'll need all the help I can get because I'm not good at stuff like this. I dont' have real visions yet...just that I want a fall or winter wedding. Some other women here have everything planned, down to the color of their tablecloths. So, as others have said, if you feel you are organized enough to do it, go for it! Just get the big stuff out of the way as soon as you can.

Good luck!
 
Thanks for all the responses! To be hones, I am not all that organized, but also don''t care that much about the little details. Basically, I just want to make sure we get a ceremony/reception site that I love, but I know that I also have to book a band and photographer asap too which stresses me a little. I think I will just see if anything in Oct is available and go from there. But it seems like it would mean booking all the big stuff, (and getting a dress?) in the next month or so which may or may not be possible. So, we''ll see! It''s good to know that a 16 month engagement isn''t viewed as crazy long, though, in case we go that way.
 
I wanted a fall wedding too, and when I got engaged I was not quite done with college, so my fiance and I decided to get married this upcoming September - we''ll finally be married after an engagement of two years and two months! I''ve enjoyed every minute of our engagement, delighting in the fact that it is a very special time for us and will only happen once
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Also, I haven''t been driving myself too crazy with planning because I''ve been doing it in fits and starts, whenever it has been necessary to get something done!
 
One of the reasons I esp want to wait awhile is because I also live in the NYC area. This area, as you know, is sooooo outrageously expensive that doing a regular, no frills wedding still costs 50K. Although, waiting can go both ways. While having time can help you better economize, it can also make things more expensive because you have more time to see more options, thus added expenses.

If you can find the venue you want and set that up (I'm assuming with the caterer), as well as the band, because those are not always easy to find and, yes, they are $$$, then you should be okay. The dress, thats not as hard I don't think...but again, I'm not doing that stuff yet, so I don't know how much time you need to do that. My SIL went to Kleinfelds the month before and got a really good deal on a gorgeous dress, so you never know.

ETA: I just rememberd that you're looking into upstate NY and Vermont. Still, I think those areas can still be very pricey, VT in particular.
 
I don''t think october would be that terrible, I''ve seen people do a wedding in 4 months :) Personally I''ve been planning long distance (in colorado right now, wedding in north dakota) and it really hasn''t been that bad. Our wedding is in november and we got engaged at the very end of september, haven''t really done any planning til recently though. hope this helps :)
 
I live in NYC and am getting married in the Catskills. We started planning in July and frankly I feel like September feels so far away. It does take up a lot of time finding vendors being so far away though. Have you started looking at places yet? We looked all over long island and the hudson valled as well as lake placid and some other addirondack locations. Let me know if you need suggestions. BTW... I''m getting married in Sept. 09.
 
Hey! Congrats on engagement!
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Sooo exciting!

I actually just got engaged as well and we are having an Oct 2009 wedding. Personally, I do not think I will be too stressed, we already have our reception hall booked, food picked out, notified the officiants to make sure they will be available that day, picked a color scheme, ands have 10 months for everything else! I think if you organize yourself (theknot.com) you will be okay for a Fall 2009 wedding.

However, if you choose a spring or summer 2010 wedding, time will fly! Then you can pace yourself a little more because you will have more time. But, I personally think if you really want a fall wedding, go for it! Reception venues book up fast so once that is set in stone I think you will feel better
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Also, talk with your fiance about it and see if he has an idea, that will help ease stress.

Good luck! I''m sure everything will work out just fine!
 
Date: 1/8/2009 2:52:37 PM
Author: nyc7782
Thanks for all the responses! To be hones, I am not all that organized, but also don''t care that much about the little details. Basically, I just want to make sure we get a ceremony/reception site that I love, but I know that I also have to book a band and photographer asap too which stresses me a little. I think I will just see if anything in Oct is available and go from there. But it seems like it would mean booking all the big stuff, (and getting a dress?) in the next month or so which may or may not be possible. So, we''ll see! It''s good to know that a 16 month engagement isn''t viewed as crazy long, though, in case we go that way.
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If you are laid back and flexible, I think that 10 months is plenty of time. I was engaged in Feb. 07 and married in Sept. of 07 and it felt like forever (but I wasn''t stuck on any one vendor, which helped). If you can find a venue you love, everything else will easily fall into place. Also, you still have plenty of time for th dress. If you are having a very large wedding or have your heart set on a vendor who isn''t available, then waiting another year might be for you.
 
We are nearing the end of a long engagement, but it was a matter of saving up enough time to take our whole 3 week honeymoon as paid time off work. Other than that I''m sure you can pull together a wedding in 10 months, no problem.
 
I got engaged last March and we are getting married March 2011, for many reasons. But this past..almost year..has flown by and I have two more to go. But it is all really up to you, I have seen people get married in 6 months, you just have to have the dedication and organization to get it done.
 
I will have been engaged 3 years to the day that we get married in 2011....So, yeah, it may be twice as long as conventional rules...but i need time to save up since my unexpected job change hurt our pocket books a bit!
 
I don''t think 16 months in exessive, especially these days when bookings for vendors can stretch over months and even years. And, considering the cost of everything, it gives you more time to save some extra cash. Whatever feels right for you and your FI.

Good luck on the wedding plans!
 
My engagement will have been 18 months by the time I get married!! Sometimes I wish it was TIME ALREADY. I want to get married. It''s been 10 months, and this is starting to happen more frequently.

However, the upside is that I get to have all sorts of fun ordering samples, perusing websites, trying out different things without having the tiniest bit of stress because I have plenty of time.

Wait a minute...I just counted the months. I thought I had 10 months LEFT! I only have 8! Aack!!!
 
FI & I decided on a long engagement 2 1/2 Years due to money and I am very picky with details. If you are ready I would say go for it!!!
 
I don''t know about your situation, but here''s what we did. We got engaged on our 1 year anniversary. We planned the wedding for exactly 1 year and 3 days from that date. We were renovating a house, and I was doing student teaching, plus 4 other classes, and my husband was also working full time. Talk about stress!!! But, it was not an out of state wedding, so that could cause more stress. I don''t think that 9 months is too short of time, but it depends on your access to the vendors and such... Don''t be afraid to delegate responsibility!
 
Congrats! I think you can definitly do it in 9 months. I''m not sure about planning a wedding out of town, but we got engaged in October 08 and our wedding date is May 23, 09. So that''s only 7 months. We didn''t get to choose our wedding date though, we called around to different ceremony and reception sites and took what was available. I am DIY''ing our invites, programs, centerpieces and various other things but so far I don''t feel rushed at all.
 
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I''m from the VT area and planning a wedding in VT in October of this year may be harder than you think. Not only is that prime wedding time, but you also have to contend with the leaf peepers. Rates at hotels are often higher as a result...Good luck!
 
Date: 1/8/2009 3:50:01 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
Date: 1/8/2009 2:52:37 PM

Author: nyc7782

Thanks for all the responses! To be hones, I am not all that organized, but also don't care that much about the little details. Basically, I just want to make sure we get a ceremony/reception site that I love, but I know that I also have to book a band and photographer asap too which stresses me a little. I think I will just see if anything in Oct is available and go from there. But it seems like it would mean booking all the big stuff, (and getting a dress?) in the next month or so which may or may not be possible. So, we'll see! It's good to know that a 16 month engagement isn't viewed as crazy long, though, in case we go that way.
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If you are laid back and flexible, I think that 10 months is plenty of time. I was engaged in Feb. 07 and married in Sept. of 07 and it felt like forever (but I wasn't stuck on any one vendor, which helped). If you can find a venue you love, everything else will easily fall into place. Also, you still have plenty of time for th dress. If you are having a very large wedding or have your heart set on a vendor who isn't available, then waiting another year might be for you.
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Ditto. We were engaged in September 2007 and married in July 2008, so we had a ten month engagement. I really don't understand why anyone would need more than nine months to plan a wedding.

In fact, I taught full-time, attended graduate school at night 2 nights/week for four hours each night, was the head coach of the speech team (HUGE amounts of after-school practices, all-day Saturday tourneys, etc), shopped for and bought a new house, and planned and chaperoned a 2 week trip to Greece with 40 high school students ALL during our ten month engagement.
It was a piece of cake.

I say schedule your wedding for the season that best suits you. And congratulations!
 
If you can find the things needed for a wedding (venue, caterer, florist, etc), then 10 months should not be a problem, especially if you are not picky. I got engaged in Sept 08 and am getting married May 16, 2009. I am planning long distance (as is my family- we picked a spot halfway between where I live and where they live). It''s pretty much planned and time seems to be dragging for me!
 
My engagement is 21 months long and it has flown by and I have about 5 months left until the big day. Personally I have loved having that time to plan and look forward to the wedding and while at the beginning it did seem that I had ages to go, it really has flown by.
 
The earliest date we have planned for would mean we would have around a 21/22mth engagement I always wanted a 2 yr engagement so I am kinda freaking, however that is just me.

However a friend of mine planned a beautiful and really awesome wedding that I loved and thought was fantastic in like 4mths and it was great so yes it can be done.

Do what you feel comfortable and confident doing :)
 
First off, congrats on the engagement and welcome to BWW
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Second, I do NOT think 10 months is too short at all. I echo everyone''s sentiments that you should try to be organized, but I think that with all the tools, books, and wedding wire (my best friend), it''s pretty easy to do that.

I got engaged in October ''08 and we are having a June ''09 wedding. We live in DC and are having the wedding in my hometown of Fort Lauderdale, FL. While planning out of state is a little bit more tricky, it is totally doable. We were initially considering TN (my fiance''s hometown) so we did site visits in both locations before choosing which city/venue. We wanted a spring/early summer wedding and otherwise were flexible with the date. We used the holiday time to do interviews and select all our major vendors (DJ, planner, Cake, Officient). I did my STD''s online (through magnetstreet) and will do most everything else online or by phone.

I would say that if you want a fall wedding, Go For It!
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. Just research some possible venues, preferably sooner rather than later, and make sure they have some dates available. Set up some appts to view the venues on a weekend, and go from there. Once you have your venue and date, you can knock out all your other vendors, either through a second trip to visit specific vendors, or on the same venue visiting trip. Once you have the main vendors (DJ, Cake, Florist, etc.) you can do most everything else from your home. If it helps, you can get a planner to help you out, especially if you don''t know anyone there or have anyone to help you out.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and Good Luck!
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Date: 1/8/2009 2:40:29 PM
Author: Bia
I do want to note that, time goes by really really fast. My brother and his wife had a long engagement, almost two years (like my FI and I plan to have), and the time literally flew.
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Ditto to that. Time flies by so fast.......Personally, I'd wait because it isn't that far away at all and less stressful.
 
Emerald Lover- I would love any recommendations you have for venues in hudson valley or catskills! Thanks so much! By the way, is there a better way to contact one specific user than just responding to the thread? Thanks!
 
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