Dress anxiety

[pannini]

Hello old friends!

Been awhile since I've been on here. My wedding is in October 1, 2011, and Ive been dress shopping for about 5 months now. Gone to a few boutiques and found a couple dresses I liked but not loved. Over the weekend I went with my MOH to try on dresses hoping to find one I loved. I fell for an Oscar de la Renta sample, and they said they couldn't guarantee it still being there after the weekend. My MOH cried 3 times- twice while I was wearing it, and again over lunch while we deliberated over the decision to buy! I didn't cry because I was in a daze. Finally I just said- screw it- I'm buying it. Got the dress at 40% off, and took it home as-is (2-3 sizes too big).

Hours later I started bawling, feeling like maybe I made a mistake. I bought my dress 10 months before the wedding date. I felt crazy. I originally planned to go to the store to love a dress, think about the dress over the holidays, and then purchase in January or February.

How do I rationalize the purchase? What if there's something better and I rushed into it? Was this totally an impulsive mistake? It was 1k over my budget but it was an Oscar so I said why not. But it needs alterations.

What would you do?

The policy is no refunds/final sale btw.

I have total buyers remorse and I am worried there are dresses that are more fitting of my personality/body.

Help! I'm so in shock.

 

[slg47]

if you have been shopping for 5 months and didn't find one you liked better then maybe this is the one? have you tried it on at home to see how you feel about it?

I don't think there is anything wrong with getting your dress 10 mos before the wedding...if you are going to order from a salon you have to get it at least 4-6 mos in advance anyway

 

[Clairitek]

First of all, care to share which one you got? I'm dying to see this gorgeous Oscar creation.

Second, think on it over the holidays. This is the first gown to really elicit an emotional reaction out of you after 5 months of shopping. That should definitely be a big glowing "THIS IS IT!" sign. Buyers remorse is common for such a large, seemingly knee-jerk impulse buy.

Third, if you decide you made a mistake, put that sucker up on preownedweddingdresses.com and oncewed.com ASAP as there will be tons of spring and summer 2011 brides looking for a couture deal right now. I bet you'll get all of your money back on that since its a sample and probably a fairly average size.

 

[Prana]

OK. First and foremost, we need pictures.

10 months before the wedding would be average, I would say. I think I bought my dress 11 months before my wedding. Usually you need to buy the dress at LEAST 4-6 months before the wedding. I'd venture to guess that you are having buyers remorse because it was an impulse buy. If you'd been looking for 5 months and still hadn't found a dress, and this one sang to you even for a moment, I'd say, you found the dress!

I think everyone gets cold feet about their dresses. If not their dresses, then their venues, photographer, DJ or other important detail.

Show us pictures so that we can convince you you've made the right choice!

 

[pannini]

Okay, I'll post here. These are shots of me. I'll post 3 pics together. Then I'll post one of the original dress on a model.

Truly be honest... is it a practical dress? I worry that the hugging and dancing will make the bow a nuisance for me.

I hope I can make the decision to keep or resell it. All of you are so supportive. It's really awesome. This is the only place I can dump my worries.

 

[pannini]

Here is the link to the dress.... 2nd one on top row.

http://www.stylemepretty.com/2009/02/09/wedding-dress-picks-oscar-de-la-renta/

 

[getting excited]

I LOVE it!!! I don't think it is impractical at all. The bow is big, but not too big to get in the way of anything. I just purchased my dress a few weeks ago an know how you feel. When I put it on the first time, I knew I loved it and thought it was the one, but I wasn't ready to purchase it. It has a "cotoure" look to it and I was worried it would be "too much" or I would regret not having something more classic. I tried on about 15 more dresses and even found one I thought competed. When I went back to the dress shop and saw my dress again, all the other dresses were completely forgotten. That was my dress. My point is, that even though I took the time to decide on it, ultimately, my original feelins were correct. My wedding is not until 10/22/11 so I ordered mine about 11 months early. I have no regrets and can't wait to try it on again when it comes in!!

My suggestion would be to put it on again. Dance around a little I have a feeling it will probably evoke the same emotion that you once had. And, like Claritek mentioned, the good news is that if you decide it is not for you, there will be plenty of people who will want to take that off your hands Good luck and I hope you keep us updated on what you decide!

 

[lulu66]

i read your fears & concerns & scrolled down hoping you would post pics. then once i saw the pics, i said, outloud (to myself), "oh my god!" that dress is gorgeous & you rock it!!! i, for one, hope you walk down the aisle in that dress.

my thought is that your feelings of anxiety may be coming more from the "rush" purchase of the dress than the dress itself. it sounds like you are a careful consider-er (i am too ) and it's taken you aback that you were hurried when you made the decision/bought the dress. you had set up expectations of finding a dress, being able to be in the possible to mull it over the holidays, make your final decision, & put down a deposit/order your dress. if you've been looking for 5 months & this is the dress that finally spoke to you, i think this is "it"! honestly, i feel i could have been happy with many dresses (there are just so many beautiful/different styles available). in my case, in the end, i went over budget & got the dress that i loved the most up to that point.

don't doubt it. that dress is a knock out...classic & modern & a work of art.

 

[piggies]

hi, i'm a serial lurker with scarce posts.... but i had to say that that is one beautiful dress and it looks great on you. love it.

 

[Prana]

Honestly, I think that you KILL IT in that dress!!! You definitely have the body to carry the dress, and I think it looks really great on you! I'm wondering if you are feeling a little buyers remorse because of the couture-ness of the dress, the fact that it's different and clearly meant to turn heads? I would wear it with pride and not worry about bow-smooshing during hugs and dancing.

 

[Anonymous]

You look fabulous in the dress. It made you and your MOH cry. It is THE dress...which you also got at a great price. It's normal to feel a little "EEEK", even if it's "the one". I know I did, just because it's a lot of money and at least for me, I'm not used to splurging on something for myself. Congrats on finding your dress!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

The dress is awesome, you rock it. Is it "practical"? I don't know, no wedding dress is. Is it totally awesome? YES!!

Keep it.

 

[blueberrydot]

LOVE the dress. It looks amazing on you and it won't be a dress that will be forgotten! I was looking closely at the dress and if the bow really bothers you it looks like it could possibly be removed by an experienced seamstress and will still be a knockout dress. If I were you I'd keep the bow, but if you wanted to go for a simpler look, it could be an option. But it definitely looks stunning on you just the way it is!

 

[slg47]

The dress is awesome, you rock it. Is it "practical"? I don't know, no wedding dress is. Is it totally awesome? YES!!

Keep it.

This! I don't think most wedding dresses are practical (nor should they be). I mean, some degree of practical is good (i.e. no 40-foot long train unless you have people to deal with that) but that's not the point of a wedding dress You look awesome in it, and if you FEEL awesome in it you should by all means keep it.

 

[yssie]

WOW. Stunner!


Ditto Dreamer & slg - a wedding dress isn't supposed to be practical It looks fabulous on you! And if you love it, I wouldn't worry - 10m out from the wedding isn't too early to buy a dress at all IMO - I'll bet you'll be really glad that's one less thing to worry about in 8m or so when things are absolutely crazy

 

[sillyberry]

I don't have much to add besides DITTO! It's a gorgeous statement dress and you wear it beautifully.

 

[Clairitek]

The dress is awesome, you rock it. Is it "practical"? I don't know, no wedding dress is. Is it totally awesome? YES!!

Keep it.

Ding ding ding!

 

[junebug17]

Omg, you look gorgeous in that dress! You could be a model! Very elegant and chic, keep the darn thing!

 

[pannini]

Wow wow wow.... I am totally enamored by all your loving support! You have no idea how much this means to me. I mean, I should know from deep inside that I love it and that's all I should want/need, but with all the anxiety and shock of buying something so quickly, it's easy to second-guess myself. Objective perspectives from pricescopers is the way to go.

Thank you so much. I am so flattered and deeply humbled by your compliments. Thank you!

I am going to keep it, hahah, after reading all these I feel validated.

I am seriously so happy.

Thank you!

Eeek. Now what's next? Jewelry, shoes, and veil options galore. Oy vey.

Hugs.

 

[Echidna]

It is GORGEOUS and you look stunning in it. Now that you've decided to keep it , I suggest you do as I did and displace all of your dress worries onto finding the perfect jewellery I love the gorgeous bling you're rocking in the last shot. Tell us about that!

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

Wow! Wow! Wow! That dress looks amazing on you!!! I don't think it would be impractical at all. The bow looks like it moves easily and isn't stiff in place. I hope you keep it. You seriously have a great figure and pull it off perfectly!!!!

 

[violet3]

YOU MUST KEEP THAT DRESS! it is perfection on you, and it's so so unique and beautiful! I mean you look fantastic - and i WOULD NOT lie to you. I really wouldn't.

Here's the thing, you might look for a dress until october of 2011 and never have the "this is the one!" moment. I didn't , and believe me, i dress shopped over and over and over. I found a dress i REALLY liked, it was a great deal price-wise. I found numerous dresses i would have been happy wearing, but never the ONE DRESS. Many others have felt the same way.

Now, only you know whether you really do not want to keep this dress. I think often after people make big purchases, they sort of panic about it. If you really don't love it, then yes - put it on preownedweddingdresses.com and sell it! But, if it means anything at all, you are REALLY stunning in that gown, and i've never seen anything like it.

EDIT: too lazy to read through the thread. glad you are keeping it!!!!!!

 

[violet3]

p.s. you look a thousand times better than the model in that dress!!!!

 

[4ever]

p.s. you look a thousand times better than the model in that dress!!!!

Agreed. I Also like the look of the really bold necklace you are wearing in the third pic with the dress, what is it?

 

[sunseeker101]

Another one in total support; the dress is in perfect harmony with your form and has an X-factor of attractiveness that I'm sure made you buy it at the speed that you did. Sometimes the 'impulsive' move can be the best of all (intuitive 'feel'). Absolutely stunning

 

[rosetta]

You have nothing to worry about. That dress is a statement and a half!

 

[mrscushion]

Amazing dress -- it screams Oscar. And you really rock it, too. You have absolutely nothing to worry about, you made a great purchase!

 

[SB621]

You're crazy that is a GORGEOUS SHOW STOPPING DRESS!!

Do you ever watch that show on TLC- Say Yes to the Dress. On one episode was a woman who had been shopping around for months to find a dress and just didn't fall in love anything. They said she would probably never fall in love with a dress because at this point at looking at so many dresses etc she couldn't committ because she always thought there would be something better out there. Don't worry about what is better out there. Know that this dress look gorgeous on you and you are stunning in it. If you MOH cried and you love it then stop worrying.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Stunning--congratulations!

cheers--Sharon

 

[pinki]

Love isn't even a word for this dress. It's absolutely amazing!!!! Keep it for sure!!!

I didn't have those "IT" feelings for my dress either, I loved it but over the months as I would look at it I would second guess it...my mom flat out didn't like it, but all my girls adored it. Once I got dressed on my wedding day I felt like a million bucks and I still look at the pics and my breath is taken away. When my mom walked in the room before the wedding all she could do is cry, she thought it was PERFECT.

I think sometimes we all want our lives to be like a movie or like an episode of Say Yes to the Dress, but the reality is...the dress picks you, you don't pick the dress!