Dogs and Babies

[Loves Vintage]

Did you do anything special when introducing your newborn to your dogs?

I have two dogs: the sweet, but sometimes rambunctious, girl in my avatar, and the supersweet agile boy below. We haven't given much thought to the introductions. We've put some baby gear around the house for the dogs to get used to, like the swing, etc. I will note that my greyhound loves his stuffy toys, and whenever I bring an outfit home to show my DH, he jumps up to try to bring the outfit down by its feet because he thinks it's a toy for him. I don't think he'd do that to a baby though.

Any tips for introducing a newborn to the doggies?

ETA: Added another photo of my babies. I think I am going to be a complete menace with baby photos one day soon . . . .

 

[swingirl]

I will note that my greyhound loves his stuffy toys, and whenever I bring an outfit home to show my DH, he jumps up to try to bring the outfit down by its feet because he thinks it's a toy for him. I don't think he'd do that to a baby though.

Why don't you think he'd do that with a baby/child? How will he know the difference between baby's stuffed animals and his? I would try to change the jumping and pawing behavior.

 

[Jennifer W]

I kept them entirely and completely separate until DD was old enough to understand not to annoy the dog. My dog is very gentle, but still a dog. I never, ever let them play together or left them together alone in the same room even for a minute. The dog is pretty laid back about being in a room by herself and now that she's an old lady she likes to retreat to her basket anyway, which helped a lot. I just assumed that dog and baby together = bad thing. Probably not true, but not going to be worth the risk of finding out.

 

[Loves Vintage]

I will note that my greyhound loves his stuffy toys, and whenever I bring an outfit home to show my DH, he jumps up to try to bring the outfit down by its feet because he thinks it's a toy for him. I don't think he'd do that to a baby though.

Why don't you think he'd do that with a baby/child? How will he know the difference between baby's stuffed animals and his? I would try to change the jumping and pawing behavior.

I assume he will know the difference between an inanimate object and a live baby?? Curious what others with experience think about this.

RE: stuffed animals, I do not think either dog will be able to distinguish between baby toys vs. dog stuffies.

 

[Loves Vintage]

I kept them entirely and completely separate until DD was old enough to understand not to annoy the dog. My dog is very gentle, but still a dog. I never, ever let them play together or left them together alone in the same room even for a minute. The dog is pretty laid back about being in a room by herself and now that she's an old lady she likes to retreat to her basket anyway, which helped a lot. I just assumed that dog and baby together = bad thing. Probably not true, but not going to be worth the risk of finding out.

I agree baby and dogs should never be left alone in the same room together; however, I do fully expect that baby and dogs can be in the same room so long as an adult is also present.

It is our routine right now to have the dogs sleep in their own room (our living room, which happens to be the dog room since we moved in) at night.

I absolutely agree that as baby gets older, she will need to be taught to respect the dogs' space. I learned this years ago on a dog forum, where every few months, an owner will report that his/her dog bit a child that was allowed to approach the dog on his bed and while he was sleeping. This should NEVER happen.

 

[littlelysser]

Hey there!

We have two dogs, an Ibizan hound (sighthound, just like your grey) and a muttski. The Ibizan has moments of a rambunctious sort and can be a bit overexcited and is very very food motivated. Depsite the craziness of the ibizan, both dogs are pretty laid back, for the most part. The Ibizan is about 65 pounds and the smaller dog is about 25 pounds.

We were a bit concerned bringing the baby home (although he's not a baby anymore...15 months old) but it was a really easy transition.

I'd DEFINITELY have your greyhound on a leash for the introduction. We put C on the ground in his carseat and let the dogs get their sniffs in. Izzie, the Ibizan, did not know what to make of C when we first brought him home. He kept barking and jumping, but we put him on a leash and every time he barked or jumped, someone took him into the kitchen and calmed him down. After a day or two, he realized that wasn't going to fly with the baby, and he stopped doing it completely. Although one time he jumped, and then took himself to the kitchen...he's a funny dog.

As for toys - my DH and I were really REALLY worried about that. Izzie has never met a stuffed toy that he didn't think was his. He's grabbed many a stuffed animal from a child at the dog park, thinking that it was his.

Oddly enough, neither he nor Cricket, the muttski, have EVER messed with C's toys. I don't know why...but it is like they know they are C's and didn't touch them. They seem to know what belongs to the baby and what belongs to them. Of course, the same can't be said for the dog toys...as C has taken a real liking to several of the dogs' toys, but luckily, they don't seem to mind.

Now, getting Izzie and Cricket to back off when C is toddling around with a delicious snack in his hand, that is whole other story. We are still working on that one!

ETA - We never seperated the dogs from the baby. We figured they were going to be spending the rest of their lives together...so the sooner they get used to each other, the better! Of course, they were, and still are supervised the entire time.

 

[Puppmom]

LV, the hospital gave us one of N’s newborn caps to take home so Hollis could get used to his scent. DH took it home the day after N was born so he had a few days to get used to it. We treated H heavily when we came home (and continued to do so for a while) with the baby so he would see N as a good thing for him. We have also worked with the dog on a few things. First, he is permitted in the nursery when invited but may only sit or lay. He is not permitted to eat or play in there. Second, when the baby is on the floor, he also must sit or lay. He’s not a particularly rambunctious dog but when he gets to jumping around, he could easily hurt the baby so we play it safe.

Last, we always make sure he’s well exercised. It’s exhausting some times, but he gets at least 1.5 hours in walks every day and a trip to the dog park most weekends.

I’m sure how we handle things will evolve as the baby grows. My best advice is just don’t get too comfortable or too lax and don’t make any assumptions.

Oh, and NEVER EVER leave the dogs alone with the baby. This one was harder than I thought – i.e. baby happily sleeping in his swing and I have to pee like nobody's business. I make the dog come with me!

 

[Loves Vintage]

LL - That's so interesting about your Ibizan Hound! My greyhound is definitely very laidback, despite the fact that I do recognize he may look a bit crazy in the photos. He is good for 3-5 laps around the yard, and then he sleeps for most of the day! We will keep them both leashed for intros. I predict the greyhound will back away and the mix will approach with curiousity. Thanks so much for chiming in. I am happy to know things are going smoothly for you. ETA: Oh, interesting that they can distinguish btw the toys, too. Maybe if the toys have baby's scent on them, they know it's not theirs.

Puppmom - All good advice. I will def. send DH home with one of her little hats. Glad to hear all is going well. I doubt the dogs will spend much time in the nursery. Their beds are in our room and the living room. The greyhound doesn't really follow us around too much. The mix is a bit more needy, so I could see her following us in there more. She is generally more interested in being where her daddy is, than where I am, however.

 

[Steel]

LV, the hospital gave us one of N’s newborn caps to take home so Hollis could get used to his scent. DH took it home the day after N was born so he had a few days to get used to it. We treated H heavily when we came home (and continued to do so for a while) with the baby so he would see N as a good thing for him. We have also worked with the dog on a few things. First, he is permitted in the nursery when invited but may only sit or lay. He is not permitted to eat or play in there. Second, when the baby is on the floor, he also must sit or lay. He’s not a particularly rambunctious dog but when he gets to jumping around, he could easily hurt the baby so we play it safe.

Last, we always make sure he’s well exercised. It’s exhausting some times, but he gets at least 1.5 hours in walks every day and a trip to the dog park most weekends.

I’m sure how we handle things will evolve as the baby grows. My best advice is just don’t get too comfortable or too lax and don’t make any assumptions.

Oh, and NEVER EVER leave the dogs alone with the baby. This one was harder than I thought – i.e. baby happily sleeping in his swing and I have to pee like nobody's business. I make the dog come with me!

Great post. I really like the idea about bringing home items so doggie can smell baby and I love the lay/sit commands for the nursery. I hope I remember all that when our time comes.



LV: I'd say you are very good training animals and will do an excellent job making sure your dogs know the boundaries and your baby stays happy & safe.

 

[Dreamer_D]

have your dogs been around babies before? How did they react?

 

[Loves Vintage]

Thanks, Steal, for the vote of confidence. You are right, I am not going to let anything happen to this little girl.

Dreamer, Nope, no babies! The youngest they've met were screaming 5 and 8 year olds. Greyhound ignored them. Beagle mix barked a lot!! We had to separate the beagle mix out because the screaming kids and barking dog were not going to be easily resolved during the short visit. In general, the beagle mix does not care for visitors. The greyhound doesn't care, is only interested in having his head stroked, and if not, he goes back to sleep.

 

[anchor31]

DS thinks our dog (cocker spaniel/pomeranian mix) is absolutely hilarious, but the dog doesn't care much for DS. It usually leaves him alone. DS loves to run around the house after the dog, so we often separate them so the dog doesn't get too annoyed.

I agree with putting your dogs on a leash for the introduction, and for every contact until you are absolutely certain your dog is familiar with the baby and will behave calmly. Also, I would try to have to jumping and pawing behaviours corrected... If your dog does it to you, chances are it will do it to your child. Good luck, I hope they learn to cohabitate well!

 

[Loves Vintage]

Thanks, Anchor! Glad to hear more positive stories!

I was not clear with the jumping comment. There is no pawing involved. The greyhound will jump up to take a stuffie out of my hand, but he is very agile/balanced and has no need to put his paws on me for support, so he does not, just balances on his hind legs for long enough to get the stuffie. We did, however, train him to take stuffies this way. Should be just as easy to reverse the concept and train him to wait.

Thank you again!

 

[Jennifer W]

I kept them entirely and completely separate until DD was old enough to understand not to annoy the dog. My dog is very gentle, but still a dog. I never, ever let them play together or left them together alone in the same room even for a minute. The dog is pretty laid back about being in a room by herself and now that she's an old lady she likes to retreat to her basket anyway, which helped a lot. I just assumed that dog and baby together = bad thing. Probably not true, but not going to be worth the risk of finding out.

I agree baby and dogs should never be left alone in the same room together; however, I do fully expect that baby and dogs can be in the same room so long as an adult is also present.

It is our routine right now to have the dogs sleep in their own room (our living room, which happens to be the dog room since we moved in) at night.

I absolutely agree that as baby gets older, she will need to be taught to respect the dogs' space. I learned this years ago on a dog forum, where every few months, an owner will report that his/her dog bit a child that was allowed to approach the dog on his bed and while he was sleeping. This should NEVER happen.

SOunds like you pretty much know what you're doing. I like the suggestion of having an item of the baby's for the dog to get used to her scent.

My poor wee doggie had to have some teeth removed earlier this year and while she still has top and bottom teeth, she doesn't have any that correspond, so she couldn't really bite even if she wanted to. What worries me more is that DD thinks that every dog is as laid back and as friendly as Meg - I have to be really careful when we're out and she spots a dog. I've tried hard to teach her from the very start to respect animals, but being a toddler, she wants to touch. I'm a little paranoid about that.


eta I love your greyhound! My dog is a lurcher - half greyhound, half deerhound.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I think a confident socialized dog should be no problem, and even a more shy dog that does not like people around will probably adapt quickly to the new baby as long as you are the boss and set clear boundaries and make it clear the baby is one of you, not one of the dogs . What will be a bigger issue will be the changes in the lifestyle and especially all the visitors you have. And birthdy parties when all sort of other kids are around. We had two dogs, and both were great with the baby. But we ended up rehoming our little red girl when it became clearer she was not good in a family home (too stressed and anxious, aggresive to other children etc). It was not what we would have chosen, but it was what we had to do, and it was the best thing. Hopefully, your beagle is not as poorly socialized as our girl was (adopted) and will have an easier time of it. But life changes a lot when you bring a baby home and for some pets, the adaptation is too difficult.

Anyways, we did not do anything special when we brought our baby home, but our dogs are very small and so cannot do much harm even if they get overly excited. The hardest thing was keeping them away when I was nursing or the baby spit up If they are not now, I suggest crate training the pups so that they can be crated for short periods if you are really stressed in the early weeks or if you have a lot of people over at some point. Or else having a safe room for them to be in when such times arise. The last thing you want to deal with is your dogs potentially invasive demands when you are overtired and freaking out trying to learn the ropes of parenthood, so anything you can do to simplify things is a good plan.

This may seem mean, but trying to set some new house rules now is a good plan. We stopped letting the dogs in our bed and also stopped giving them as much babying and attention in advance of bringing home the baby. We also tried to train them not to go into the baby's room, but gave up as it was something they were just not getting And we moved them out of our room to sleep at night and into another room. They slept in crates at night, but we did not want them in our room with the baby in case of allergies so we moved them. All of these things we did about 3 months in advance. So think though how life might change and start making those changes now, it will bea easier later.

 

[NovemberBride]

When I was in the hospital after having DD, we had my parents bring home one of the blankets they had her wrapped in and gave it to the dog so he could get used to her scent. When we came home, we brought him outside on his leash to meet the baby. We do faithfully follow the rule of never leaving dog and baby alone, but other than that we actually tried hard to make it so nothing else would change in the dog's life. We have a dog walker who walks him while we are at work and we had her continue to come while I was on maternity leave so he would have consistency. WE tried very hard to keep him on his scheduled walks and give him lots of attention. The dog still sleeps in our bed, and DD now sleeps in her crib (she slept in a bassinet in our room for the first 6 months, during which dog also continued to sleep in our bed). The dog is allowed in DD's room, except when she is sleeping (we keep her door shut at night). Things have worked out really well for us, DD loves the dog and he loves her back. She gives him hugs and kisses all the time and feeds him food from the high chair. When she cries he is the first to run over and snuggle her. I know others have not had such good results from introducing a baby to the dog. I think the results you get are a mix of the dog's personality and your preparation.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Jennifer - I do love greyhounds. I would be happy to adopt a lurcher one day too! I remember you telling me about Meggy before. (I did have to look up her name, my memory is not that good. ) She's a gorgeous girl!

Dreamer - Thank you for your sage advice (as always!!) We do not crate train, but we do sort of "room-train." We have a doggie door permanenty affixed to the open doorway to the living room and french doors on the other side of the room. They can easily be put in there if they were to be difficult. It is sort of their room, so they enjoy spending time in there! I hadn't thought so far ahead as birthday parties, but yes, Lucy, the beagle mix, would likely need to spend time upstairs or in a kennel for the day when lots of kids come over. I did have to re-home a dog once too. It was a very difficult decision, but also the best decision. I don't foresee that happening with Lucy. She is highly trainable and has a wonderful relationship with DH. She has 100% respect for him, quite a bit less for me, but workable.

NovemberBride - I'm happy to hear you had such positive results with your DD and dog. That's so funny that she feeds him from her high chair!!

 

[Jennifer W]

I thought we had a conversation about our dogs before! Mommy brain is a real phenomenon...

 

[natalina]

We have three dogs. It's a bit of a kennel over here . Dog #1: Sam. black lab, just turned 12, extremely mellow. Dog #2: Bella, husky rescue, 11 going on 3 years old (crazy how young she still acts). Dog #3: Rocco: Chow/retriever rescue, 8 years old, happiest dog ever. When we brought Ellie home, we put her on the ground in her carseat and introduced each dog to her separately, in their "pack order." Bella is the Alpha dog, so she went first, then Sam, and lastly Rocco. We tried to keep the mood very mellow, just DH and I in the room with them. It went really well. Only Bella really even seemed interested, and would lay near her at all times- under her swing, next to her bassinet, etc. We started calling Bella "Little Mama". After that, they were all in the room together often, but never when she was on their level (on the ground, they're not allowed on furniture). Now Ellie is 14 months old, and they are her best friends. She lays all over them (especially Sam), kisses them, will crawl into their beds and lay with them, etc. It is too cute. Bella likes her own space sometimes, but she will just get up and go somewhere else if Ellie is annoing her. We do have to be careful when feeding the dogs lately, as Ellie likes to try to take their bowls away while they are eating. That's not nice to them, and while it seems unlikely, we don't want her to get nipped. Plus, she tries to eat their food .
Good luck! I am sure things will be fine!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I think the really delicate time with dogs and babies is not when you bring the newborn home, but when the kiddo is about 8 months to about 18 months. Mobile, interested in the dog, and that is when the baby will hit, grab, pull, jump on, push, kick, bite the dog And go for its food. In that period, we trained the dog to stay away from the baby to avoid potential issues. As in whenever baby was around he would urge the dog to run away! Keep back! Hard to manage since the dog likes to constantly lick the baby's face When our son was old enough we started teaching him to be gentle, but it is an ongoing thing for sure. Now baby is more gentle at 22 months, and we are not so worried, but if you have a dog that you think is at all prone to any type of fearful aggression, that is the period to really watch out! I am not trying to be all scare-tacticy, just relating my own experience. I trust my dog as far as you can trust any dog, but mobile babies will really really push the bounds of acceptable behaviour in my opinion.

 

[Mara]

LV...in an above post you mention that the baby should not approach the dog on it's bed. Easier said than done! Our 10mo old regularly approaches Portia on her pillow because it's in the main area of the house and he roams around. I will be there in the room with him but I am not necessarily hanging on his every step and motion at this point...he's pretty secure about movement so we just let him float around. And our dog just jumps up and vacates the premises when he encroaches. There have been a few instances when we are all sitting together and J quickly lunges at P and grabs her hair, and she will make a low noise and then stalk away. We correct her instantly in those circumstances for making the noise, but she is still doing the right thing by walking away. I agree that the harder time is when the kid is mobile.

On the more extreme side, one of our friends trained their dog to not even look at or interact with the baby at all. The dog would totally pretend the baby didn't exist or else he'd get corrected. At the time (pre baby) we were thinking 'gee that's so harsh' but they had NO issues with the dog and baby at all because the dog just pretended the kid didn't exist. But when the kid was old enough to interact with the dog...they started figuring out how to get along and the dog was pretty passive around the kid. Our friends thought it was because the dog knew that the baby was dominant over the dog. It may have been harsh but it worked!

P slept with us before and she still does--this is the one thing I tried really hard not to change as I didn't want her to feel 'displaced'. Overall, she tolerates J for the most part, but he is always grabbing her hair and tail and she either will just shy away or make a noise and then move away. She hangs out and lets him feed her at dinner time (and is gentle with his hands). She will sometimes lick his hands when he swats them at her or turn her head. He will take her toys away from her and she lets him. We also trained her in general to not fuss if we remove her food while she is eating. She isn't perfect with him but she is very good overall. I am sure as time goes on and she gets more used to situations with him, and he learns how to interact with her, they'll be buddies.

Anyway, I think all dogs and training and households will be different. My Mom gave P a baby blanket from the hospital, and when we brought him home, I greeted her first and without the baby (a tip I read about online), so that she could jump on me and we could have our 'same' greeting without me holding a baby and freaking out on her if she jumped on me or barked. After we had our time greeting each other then we brought the baby in to show her. It went ok but she was totally freaked out about the car seat. She barked at it. We thought she was barking at the baby but she was just freaked out about it all. After we took him out of the car seat and were holding him, she wanted to sniff all over him.

I heard you could also get a doll and start kind of keeping it around and training the dog with it, but I wasn't sure how much they would get it because it's not a real person. It would have no smell, breath etc. I think what she had more of a problem with was the constant noise in the house once J came, lol. At first when he'd cry she'd totally be weirded out...but she got used to it after about 2-3 weeks.

I agree with whoever said to start taking attn and affection away from the dogs now. It may sound cruel but it helps get them prepared for how distracted you will be when the baby comes. P gets about 1/3 of the same attention and affection as she did originally--just from a straight time perspective. But she adjusted and she still gets walked daily.

Oh and if you do have a big dog, be really careful with the dog moving it's weight around. I don't worry about P now because she and J weigh the same, but when he was 10lbs if he was laying on the couch and she decided to jump onto the couch, she could have hurt him if she jumped onto him or hit him with a hind leg. We tried to be really careful about where we put him and about leaving him alone with her etc. One of my friend's has a big 100+lb lab and a 15month old and when the dog's tail gets really crazy he can actually knock over the 15mo old. He's not hurt, but dogs can be powerful!

Also ... try really hard to not forget to feed the dogs. P never missed a meal thankfully--but I do have some other friends who would forget to feed their dog for a day or two sometimes when they had the newborn!

 

[Puppmom]

Ditto what Mara said about big dogs. Hollis is 90 pounds and has a really long leg span. So, if he’s sitting even within a few feet of the baby then goes to lie down, he could easily end up on top of the baby. Generally speaking, I think often large dogs are unaware of their weight and dimensions. Even though Hollis is gentle, he could still accidentally hurt the baby if we didn’t supervise.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

We have a very enthusiastic and loving 60+lb dog at home who loves his mommy and daddy to bits. We were really concerned about how he'd do with the baby because he's a total mommy's boy. So we sent DH home with a shirt that Aidan had worn soon after birth. It smelled like both he and I. TJ left that with D.O.G. for a few days while I was in the hospital. At the same time we had TJ, my brother, my mom (D.O.G. is a Nana's boy as well) and his favorite neighbor, walking him and stopping by several times a day as we were at the hospital for almost a week.

We brought A home and let D.O.G. and the cats see him sniff him in the car seat while we were holding them. I'd had a c/s and was really uncomfortable so the baby and I pretty much stayed in the bedroom for the first week as we all got used to each other and being home. I think being home for 3 months right after also helped and with DH losing his job it meant we were all home so D.O.G. got plenty of attention. One of our cats isn't a fan of Aidan but the other two seem to be OK with him. They'll lay on the couch near us when we're holding him or will lay near him when he's on the floor on his play mat. But they don't get in his face ever. D.O.G. loves to give him kisses so we have to be careful about keeping him away when Aidan is on the floor or on his bouncer. Otherwise he'll get a tongue bath. D.O.G. will lay about 4-5 feet away from A when he's on the floor on his play mat. I've also been amazed at how D.O.G. has not gone for anything baby related. We have toys and bottles and binkies and clothes (and sadly even a dirty diaper one time or another) laying where the dog could get it and he's left it all alone.

We NEVER.EVER.EVER. let the dog be near the baby unsupervised. We just don't do it and wouldn't do it even if we had a breed that people think is harmless (we have a chow and they have a scary rep).

 

[Dreamer_D]

LV...in an above post you mention that the baby should not approach the dog on it's bed. Easier said than done!

I agree with this totally. I actually think that training a child that age is really near impossible, and most of the time you just want to remove the temptation rather than duke it out through one million repetitions trying to teach them. I also think that the dog should learn the baby is alpha if possible, so the baby should be allowed to go steal the dogs bed if he wants to! Or take his food, or whatever he wants.

And big ditto to Hudson's last point -- never leave dog and baby unsupervised in those early times. Now at 22 months we worry about it less because they have clearer ideas about their own boundaries (and Hunter is about 3x the weight of the dog ), but in the early days it is really important because a dog can easily accidentally injure a child. That is why I suggest having a crate or other dog space where the dogs can be confined. In those early weeks when you are learning the ropes and at your wit's end and crying hysterically along with your child, the LAST thing you want to think about is whether the dog is going to lick the baby or try to jump on the couch and hit the baby etc etc etc. Arranging another walker is a good plan too.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I know no one is asking about my dogs specifically, but since I LOVE talking about them, I will! You would think the greyhound would be problematic, given his size, but he is actually so graceful and so aware of his body, that I am much less worried about him. The beagle-mix (Lucy), well, she is a sturdy type of dog, 50-ish lbs, and full of enthusiasm for everything life has to offer! She could easily take down a child or hurt an infant. Fortunately, both dogs are trained not to go on furniture, unless invited, so there's not a lot of opportunity for jumping up on a sofa and hurting the kid. Now, if they were in the yard, and Lucy was running/playing, yeah, she could take a kid down easily!

I would absolutely never leave the baby alone with dogs. My comment re: teaching the child to respect the dogs' space reveals the fact that I really know very little about babies/children!!! The comment originates from the dog forum I mentioned. Whenever someone, usually a new poster, posts about a child being bitten by a dog, they are often berated for allowing the child to approach the dog's space, because most of the time (that I recall anyway) the dog is sleeping in its bed and the kid starts hanging all over the dog. A lot of these posters do not have children, so it is now interesting to me to hear the different points of view.

We will have to develop our own routines and our own comfort level, but I will separate the dogs from the kid when the dogs are sleeping if that's what it comes down to.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

LV-we discovered that we had to separate the dog from the sleeping area of the house at night because he became a little more protective of the house after we brought A home. Now he not only barks at people like the mail man, but he barks at every bug and leaf that flies past the window. Chows are protectors by nature so his favorite place to snooze is either outside the nursery door (when we forget to put the baby gate up to keep him downstairs, or in front of the front door.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I would absolutely never leave the baby alone with dogs. My comment re: teaching the child to respect the dogs' space reveals the fact that I really know very little about babies/children!!! The comment originates from the dog forum I mentioned. Whenever someone, usually a new poster, posts about a child being bitten by a dog, they are often berated for allowing the child to approach the dog's space, because most of the time (that I recall anyway) the dog is sleeping in its bed and the kid starts hanging all over the dog. A lot of these posters do not have children, so it is now interesting to me to hear the different points of view.

That is honestly really funny. I cannot imagine trying to live in a house where I had to constantly worry about keeping an infant or toddler away from the dog. What a nightmare! And it sort of places the blame for the attack on the child and parents, which is sad. If a dog bites a child or baby that simply crawls on him when he is sleeping, well I just cannot imagine that is a good family pet. But that is another issue. It is one of the reasons we rehomed our little Dreamer girl, she was just not a good fit for a family with young kids.

 

[Mara]

Ditto trying to teach the pet that the kid is alpha. I imagine it's hard when the baby is so tiny, esp if you have a big dog from a size perspective it's a little comical...but I think that how my friends did it worked out really well though. Then the kid interacted with the dog on his own terms for the most part.

Funny because many things about my mindset have changed after having kids. I also realize that before having J I might have said the same thing re: oh gee as parents you shouldn't be letting your kid bother the dog! BUT I still would think that if the kid is like 6 and wasn't taught to respect the dog's space, rather than a 1 year old who is just completely excited by the world and that includes the fluffy animated toy (dog) that moves around without batteries. Once J *is* old enough to be taught gentle and that Portia is alive and has feelings just like we do etc etc... we definitely will be sure to not be letting him just leap onto her bed solely to bother her. But right now he's just so excited when she's around he flaps like a madman and lunges at her and she's just lucky if she can escape haha.

Our friends who trained the dog to not even notice the kid--their little kid would totally toss the phone and remote at the dog and he would always hit him. And then laugh. And they wouldn't even correct him. I remember we were kind of horrified. But now I don't know what we'd do--depending on age. I can't really recall how old the boy was, maybe 1.5 years? And I think I would correct him at that age--we still correct J by trying to show him how can 'open hand gentle' pet Portia even if we know he won't retain it. I think I'd still correct even if I know it won't stick necessarily. I felt so bad for their dog!

Our nanny share has a big retriever, about 100 lbs and she is sooo gentle with the kids and J just loves her as well. She will lay there and let the boys crawl all over her and pull at her paws etc. The other day the 15mo old toddler tried to ride her like a pony...she was startled at that and ran off--it was hilarious.

Anyway the fact that you are asking and thinking about this bodes pretty well IMO about the state of the household with your pets after the babe comes.

 

[Dreamer_D]

We started teaching Hunter gentle when he was about a year I think, and he got it about 6 months later He still tries sometimes to kick the dog, but we correct him. I would not let him throw things or antagonize the dog either. As you said, Mara, the dog is alove and has feelings so empathy is a skill the kiddo needs to learn for sure.