Does Carat Matter?
- Thread starter Titan35
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I plan to surprise her really. So I don''t think she''s very particular in what she wants. Of all this time I''ve been dating her, she''s never really demanded anything. But I''d like to make this special for her. I don''t plan to ask her because I don''t want to ruin the surprise. I''ve consider in getting a $4,000 dollar ring. Perhaps too much? or too little? My GF and her friends are my age. I''ve graduated out of college about 3 years ago, and I''m working now. I''m not at the top of the salary range and I''m about to enter grad school. I have college debts! So perhaps this may give you an idea of my salary range. I''ve heard from some girls that you buy a ring according to your monthly salary times 3. But I''ve spoken to some guy friends who are married, and that is not necessarily the case. I intend to buy something that will take me a long time to pay back. Is this a wrong mentality?
kittybean
Ideal_Rock
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In my opinion, yes. Based on the current state of the economy, your college debts, and your soon-to-be-student status, I think buying an engagement ring that will take a long time to pay back is a bad idea. On this forum, you will almost always hear that you should only spend on jewelry what you can pay in cash (or put on a credit card to be paid off immediately). Taking on debt for an engagement ring is unnecessary and unwise, I think, given your financial situation.
Why don't you go for something a little more modest, with the promise that you will upgrade if she so wishes when your finances are more stable? Let her know that you are serious about marrying her, but that you want to be responsible and not incur additional debts as you prepare for marriage.
Lastly, I would encourage you to do at least a little reconnaissance work regarding her interests. You said above that "[You want to surprise her. So I don't think she's very particular in what she wants." How can you know she's not very particular if you've never brought up the topic at all? Have you spoken with her family or friends to see what she likes? The idea that she's not very particular does not logically follow from the fact that you want to surprise her (I'm assuming this is what you meant since you used the word "so;" I apologize if that's not the case). If I were you, I would try to take some more time to learn what kind of jewelry she might like, if you haven't done that already.
Best of luck with your proposal!
princesss
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Personally, I''ll take cut over anything else ANY day.
But I''m a PS-educated weirdo when compared to the vast majority of women. A friend of mine bought a ring for his GF, and no matter how many times I tried to teach him about cut, *her* priority was carat, so that''s what he focused on. She wanted 2 carats, so he did the best he could on that (though he did tell me that the GIA - EX blew the ring he bought out of the water - his solution was to just not show her those until he could afford one). So the priority of each woman is different, and some would sacrifice cut for a bigger stone (just not anybody that knew better,
).
But I do think the majority of PSers would say whatever you prioritize, set the 5th C (Cost!) first, and work from there. In an ideal world we wouldn''t have to factor that in, but this is the real world and most of us have budgets. So for me, the priority would be this:
Cost - Cut - Carat - Colour/Clarity
None of the rest of the Cs matter if you''re going into debt for the ring. The same friend who bought as close to two carats as he could is still paying the ring off, and his then-FI/now-ex broke off the engagement months ago.
But I''m a PS-educated weirdo when compared to the vast majority of women. A friend of mine bought a ring for his GF, and no matter how many times I tried to teach him about cut, *her* priority was carat, so that''s what he focused on. She wanted 2 carats, so he did the best he could on that (though he did tell me that the GIA - EX blew the ring he bought out of the water - his solution was to just not show her those until he could afford one). So the priority of each woman is different, and some would sacrifice cut for a bigger stone (just not anybody that knew better,
But I do think the majority of PSers would say whatever you prioritize, set the 5th C (Cost!) first, and work from there. In an ideal world we wouldn''t have to factor that in, but this is the real world and most of us have budgets. So for me, the priority would be this:
Cost - Cut - Carat - Colour/Clarity
None of the rest of the Cs matter if you''re going into debt for the ring. The same friend who bought as close to two carats as he could is still paying the ring off, and his then-FI/now-ex broke off the engagement months ago.
neatfreak
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radiantquest
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Hi, welcome.
My best advice is to decide how much you are willing to spend first. Then the first C that you cannot skimp on is cut, not shape; cut. As in how well it is cut. That will determine how much it will sparkle.
Next depending on how much you think color will be noticeable, you can probably go as high as I and it still appear pretty white as long as the cut is great.
Then go with Carat. The rest will fall into place.
Good Luck!
My best advice is to decide how much you are willing to spend first. Then the first C that you cannot skimp on is cut, not shape; cut. As in how well it is cut. That will determine how much it will sparkle.
Next depending on how much you think color will be noticeable, you can probably go as high as I and it still appear pretty white as long as the cut is great.
Then go with Carat. The rest will fall into place.
Good Luck!
Ok, well I''ve done a little more research. I''m wanting to spend around $2,500 on the ring. I''ve been looking on bluenile.com and these are the followings specs I''ve been looking for:
Cut: Signature Cut (as most of you have suggested, the best cut possible)
Carot: 1 carot (i''m unable to find that for the amount i''m spending - the highest i found was like 0.81)
Clarity: VS2 or better
Color: H or better
Certification: Yes
Doe anybody have any expertise on where I can find something like this? Or better?
Cut: Signature Cut (as most of you have suggested, the best cut possible)
Carot: 1 carot (i''m unable to find that for the amount i''m spending - the highest i found was like 0.81)
Clarity: VS2 or better
Color: H or better
Certification: Yes
Doe anybody have any expertise on where I can find something like this? Or better?
princesss
Ideal_Rock
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Honestly? You're not going to hit all of those specs in yuor budget. I'm not one of the prosumers, so maybe they can find something, but you're going to have to compromise those specs a little to find what you want. From what I've seen, 1ct stones with those specs are generally around $5,000 -$6,000 (as a benchmark - some less, some more). You could safely downgrade to an eyeclean SI1 to help the budget, but even then I'm not sure you could get 1ct. Also going down to an I or J will help, but I think if you want those colour/clarity specs, readjusting your expectations and accepting that you probably won't be able to hit that 1ct mark might be best. I would say keep the cut as your highest priority, because a well cut .8 is going to outshine a dull 1ct.
Check out Rocky Talky for more help. There are a lot of prosumers who hang out over there and help with situations like this.
Amethyste
Ideal_Rock
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I think that the first thing to decide upon before the 4Cs is the shape.
A princess will perform differently than a pear shape... So that is the first thing to decide before venturing into the 4Cs.
Then after that, everything is personnal. for me it was Color ( wanted a looooooooow color, love the warmth ), carat, cut, and clarity.
all of these 4 cs are are so linked together, if you modify something you''ll end up with a different result.
Whatever you set your budget on, try to get the best you can afford. Weather it is a smidge over a carat or a smidge under
She will be thrilled.
A princess will perform differently than a pear shape... So that is the first thing to decide before venturing into the 4Cs.
Then after that, everything is personnal. for me it was Color ( wanted a looooooooow color, love the warmth ), carat, cut, and clarity.
all of these 4 cs are are so linked together, if you modify something you''ll end up with a different result.
Whatever you set your budget on, try to get the best you can afford. Weather it is a smidge over a carat or a smidge under
She will be thrilled. 
Cehrabehra
Super_Ideal_Rock
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size is good for two things:
1. Looking big if all you want is big.
2. Making an excellent cut even more amazing
My personal priority list is this:
cut.... clarity.... carat.... color
People have different views on this and most here would agree that the only one that needs to stay where it is is cut. Some people however would put size first and well... that''s an option too but not one you''d see often here.
1. Looking big if all you want is big.
2. Making an excellent cut even more amazing
My personal priority list is this:
cut.... clarity.... carat.... color
People have different views on this and most here would agree that the only one that needs to stay where it is is cut. Some people however would put size first and well... that''s an option too but not one you''d see often here.
trillionaire
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a .75-.8 ct ring is a LOVELY size. I''m sure she will be thrilled with the ring, but honestly, it''s the commitment and engagement that will have her over the moon! Get her the ring that you can afford, and a very personal, thoughtful proposal. There is a section on PS for those too! We PSers LOVE to give advices!
MichelleCarmen
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For me one carat would be too big! I'd feel uncomfortable wearing a diamond eng. ring of that size. Everyone has their own preferences, and I know on PS, bigger is better generally is the motto, but I'd pick a stone around .80 for a ring. Ideally, I'd want that and a plain matching wedding band AND also a diamond wedding band when I'd want to jazz my set up.
ETA - really, what attracts my attention is a well-cut stone! Regardless of size, THAT is what I notice.
ETA - really, what attracts my attention is a well-cut stone! Regardless of size, THAT is what I notice.
vespergirl
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I think that you would be fine with a .81 ring - that would be gorgeous. However, if you''re adamant to get to the 1 ct mark, then I would keep the H color and maybe go down to SI2 clarity. Color is easier to see than clarity in an "eye-clean" stone.
I also wanted to mention that rings should ALWAYS be paid for in cash. It''s really not something that one should finance, IMO. So get what you can afford now.
LilyKat
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Honestly, I would talk to your girlfriend about what she wants. You don''t have to discuss specifics or "give away" the surprise - just get a feeling for what she values and prefers.
Personally, I would be HORRIFIED if my boyfriend bought a ring that he could not comfortably afford (in cash), and had to struggle in any way to afford. Some girls would rather their boyfriend go all out to get the biggest and best possible diamond, even if he had to use credit, given that it''s a once in a lifetime purchase. I''m not saying either position is right or wrong - it''s an individual thing. But it''s important to find out which end of the spectrum your girlfriend is at.
Personally, I would be HORRIFIED if my boyfriend bought a ring that he could not comfortably afford (in cash), and had to struggle in any way to afford. Some girls would rather their boyfriend go all out to get the biggest and best possible diamond, even if he had to use credit, given that it''s a once in a lifetime purchase. I''m not saying either position is right or wrong - it''s an individual thing. But it''s important to find out which end of the spectrum your girlfriend is at.
jcarlylew
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Date: 9/14/2009 12:17:11 PM
Author: trillionaire
a .75-.8 ct ring is a LOVELY size. I''m sure she will be thrilled with the ring, but honestly, it''s the commitment and engagement that will have her over the moon! Get her the ring that you can afford, and a very personal, thoughtful proposal. There is a section on PS for those too! We PSers LOVE to give advices!
Hey thanks for the encouragement! You know what, I''m going to get her just that! Thanks, you are right about the commitment and engagement!
Liane
Brilliant_Rock
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You''ve gotten a lot of really good advice in this thread. I''m just going to echo the posters who have said that you might want to consider asking her (taking her out window shopping, or at least talking to friends and family if the surprise is crucial) unless you have at least a general sense of what she wants. I know you''ve said you want it to be a surprise, and she''s "never really demanded anything," but that doesn''t mean she''s never given any thought to what kind of ring she''d like.
Each woman''s priorities are unique to her. We can guess and make generalizations all day long, but if she''s going to wear that ring for the rest of her life, it should be compatible with her style and tastes. So... ask her, or at least look really hard for clues in what she already owns and chooses for herself. Then come back to Rocky Talky and ask the experts there to help you find the best possible version for your budget of the kind of thing she likes.
Each woman''s priorities are unique to her. We can guess and make generalizations all day long, but if she''s going to wear that ring for the rest of her life, it should be compatible with her style and tastes. So... ask her, or at least look really hard for clues in what she already owns and chooses for herself. Then come back to Rocky Talky and ask the experts there to help you find the best possible version for your budget of the kind of thing she likes.
tlh
Ideal_Rock
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I agree. Why not next time you are at the mall... say you want to look at shoes, ties, shirts.. something (make up an excuse) and just go by a jewelry store - like Kay, Zales, etc. Some malls even have Tiff''s! But be careful about THIS sort of browsing, as it really ups the ante- maybe more than you''d like to doso! Say, "you know we never go in stores like these - and I just haven''t a clue about jewelry..." or soemthing fun. Go in and go directly to the wedding section.. and BROWSE. look at rounds, pears, princess cuts, radiants, see which ones she goes... WOW! and then you have your idea on the shape.
Then come back here... and let the ladies'' and gents (in Rocky Talky)find you a terrific stone (they''ll be able to rule out poorly cut stones based on the #''s) for your lady... and there you go!!!
Good luck!
Then come back here... and let the ladies'' and gents (in Rocky Talky)find you a terrific stone (they''ll be able to rule out poorly cut stones based on the #''s) for your lady... and there you go!!!
Good luck!
tberube
Brilliant_Rock
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Everybody is different, in this regard. You''ll find that many people in this forum lean toward Cut first, then perhaps color/clarity, then carat size last. Not everyone, though. There are some people who consider carat size to be the most important above all the other C''s, and that''s what will make the diamond owner happy. Every diamond is different, though, and I think if you look around, you''ll find one with a good mix of all the C''s and a price to fit your wallet size.
But to answer your first question, yes, I do believe that *most* women would consider a 1ct. diamond to be a rather good size.
But to answer your first question, yes, I do believe that *most* women would consider a 1ct. diamond to be a rather good size.
LaurenThePartier
Super_Ideal_Rock
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You''ve gotten a load of good advice about size/cut/cost, but I''ve helped plenty of male friends buy engagement rings, and without a clue as to what she likes, you''re potentially setting yourself up for a situation where she may not like what you''ve picked, but is so over the moon happy with your proposal that she may be afraid to say anything to hurt your feelings. There are a large number of examples of this happening just on Pricescope.
I''ll never understand why men think shopping for an engagement ring is giving away any surprise. Surely you''ve talked about getting married, so it''s no surprise that you want to spend the rest of your lives together. You own the timetable - buying the ring, choosing the location and the timing - so the only way you''d spoil any surprise is if you become very obvious about it.
Just walk through a local jeweler under the guise of finding some pearl or gemstone earrings for her/your Mom, and naturally, she will have separated off from you to go browse the engagement rings. Meet back up with her, and for fun, ask an SA to take a few out and pay close attention to her reaction to them.
Good luck!!!
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I think .8 is a fine size!
My hubby got me a .9 F VS2 with Ideal cut, and it suits my perfectly! Almost all of my other engaged friends have larger diamonds than I do, but I''m perfectly content. (Hehe, and I personally think I have the sparkliest and whitest! My personal preference is Cut > Color > clarity > carat so having the whitest and sparkliest diamond makes me happier than having the largest or most expensive. But every gal is different.)
My hubby got me a .9 F VS2 with Ideal cut, and it suits my perfectly! Almost all of my other engaged friends have larger diamonds than I do, but I''m perfectly content. (Hehe, and I personally think I have the sparkliest and whitest! My personal preference is Cut > Color > clarity > carat so having the whitest and sparkliest diamond makes me happier than having the largest or most expensive. But every gal is different.)
LtlFirecracker
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I also think 0.8 is a nice size.
I am personally hoping for a ct, but I would be happy with a stone that size. I am also a little older and established in a professional career.
However, I would never want my BF to go into debt for a diamond. I will be happy with whatever size he can afford conformably. The best thing you should do is save for the ring, and than buy it when you can pay for it in full.
I personally do put jewelry purchases on a credit card for the consumer protection benefits, but I pay it off that month.
I am personally hoping for a ct, but I would be happy with a stone that size. I am also a little older and established in a professional career.
However, I would never want my BF to go into debt for a diamond. I will be happy with whatever size he can afford conformably. The best thing you should do is save for the ring, and than buy it when you can pay for it in full.
I personally do put jewelry purchases on a credit card for the consumer protection benefits, but I pay it off that month.
I''ve been asking her indirectly, and I truly believe that she''s ok with my choice. But please tell me otherwise as I could be reading her wrong.
I bought her a necklace once for valentine''s and after giving it to her, I asked her if she liked silver or gold. She said both are good, as long as they look good. My thought: "Either or."
We had a mutual friend who recently got engaged. Prior to the proposal, her fiancee took her to a jewelry store to pick out the ring. She dropped a hint that unlike them, she prefers to be surprised. My thought: "Note to self: Don''t take her to a store, and pick the ring myself."
Two of her girlfriends got engaged recently. One has a round solitaire diamond, and the other has a princess cut diamond with two side stones. She complimented both to me. I asked her which one she thinks was better. She said that they both look different, and both are good. My thought: "She''s ok with either princess or round."
Are my thoughts wrong? More research?
I bought her a necklace once for valentine''s and after giving it to her, I asked her if she liked silver or gold. She said both are good, as long as they look good. My thought: "Either or."
We had a mutual friend who recently got engaged. Prior to the proposal, her fiancee took her to a jewelry store to pick out the ring. She dropped a hint that unlike them, she prefers to be surprised. My thought: "Note to self: Don''t take her to a store, and pick the ring myself."
Two of her girlfriends got engaged recently. One has a round solitaire diamond, and the other has a princess cut diamond with two side stones. She complimented both to me. I asked her which one she thinks was better. She said that they both look different, and both are good. My thought: "She''s ok with either princess or round."
Are my thoughts wrong? More research?
LilyKat
Brilliant_Rock
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She sounds very flexible. You wouldn't know it from these boards, but there are a fair number of women out there who really don't care that much about jewelry - they just want something pretty and sparkly. You've given her a number of chances to state her preferences and she has consistently said that she doesn't care either way, and also that she would like to be surprised. My guess is that a girl like that really won't care much about carat numbers and just wants something that looks good.
I would probably bring it up again in a general sense once more, just to see if she still feels the same. And also to find out what sort of budget she would feel comfortable with, and also the carat question. But if she's genuinely ok with anything, then I think you have the go-ahead to pick whatever you think she'd like and go ahead and surprise her!
Thanks to everyone, it gave me a better idea of what to get her. I ended up getting a signature ideal cut, 0.74 carat, G color, and VVS2 clarity. I kept the best cut because I wanted the shine and brilliance.
I''m calling her parents this weekend, to ask for her hand in marriage. I would rather meet them in person, but they don''t live in the same city.
Now.....for the proposal plan, and the venue:
My girlfriend thinks that we''re going out of town to celebrate our anniversary, but little does she know that I''m actually going to propose. I want to ask her on the first day, so we can enjoy and relax the following two days.
I''m debating if I should propose at the hotel or on the boat at a nearby lake. I''m going to be rowing and in the same time say nice things to her to make her smile. I''m deciding whether I would do it during the day or at night. If during the day, I would bring an umbrella so it wouldn''t be too sunny for her. If at night, I want to somehow lit some candles (about 100) around the boat. I can''t decide if I should place some candles on top of the water (i need some sort of thing to allow the candle to float) or on top of the other row boats around. I don''t know yet if I can even do that. I will have to call the boat rental place to see. It may not be romantic to some, but you see.....I''ve first met her in a paddling club. It all started there, and I want to set a new beginning starting on a boat as well. If I can get the place to play "our love song" that would be even better....but don''t think they have that. I have to call and find out.
Then if it''s not on the boat, maybe in the room with 100 candles? (I don''t think the hotel will let me)
Or maybe out in a garden which would be part of the hotel with a hundred candles? or maybe 1000? 1000 candles represent 1000 years of happiness and prosperity for the the couple.
Should I tweak it in anyway? Throw out any bad ideas? Is this lame?
I''m calling her parents this weekend, to ask for her hand in marriage. I would rather meet them in person, but they don''t live in the same city.
Now.....for the proposal plan, and the venue:
My girlfriend thinks that we''re going out of town to celebrate our anniversary, but little does she know that I''m actually going to propose. I want to ask her on the first day, so we can enjoy and relax the following two days.
I''m debating if I should propose at the hotel or on the boat at a nearby lake. I''m going to be rowing and in the same time say nice things to her to make her smile. I''m deciding whether I would do it during the day or at night. If during the day, I would bring an umbrella so it wouldn''t be too sunny for her. If at night, I want to somehow lit some candles (about 100) around the boat. I can''t decide if I should place some candles on top of the water (i need some sort of thing to allow the candle to float) or on top of the other row boats around. I don''t know yet if I can even do that. I will have to call the boat rental place to see. It may not be romantic to some, but you see.....I''ve first met her in a paddling club. It all started there, and I want to set a new beginning starting on a boat as well. If I can get the place to play "our love song" that would be even better....but don''t think they have that. I have to call and find out.
Then if it''s not on the boat, maybe in the room with 100 candles? (I don''t think the hotel will let me)
Should I tweak it in anyway? Throw out any bad ideas? Is this lame?
SOunds like a beautiful Ring!... not sure about the candles thing in the room as I see it on TV and looks soo romantic, however not sure about knocking them over and starting a fire though...lol but the garden sounds even more romantic!Date: 10/12/2009 6:04:42 PM
Author: Titan35
Thanks to everyone, it gave me a better idea of what to get her. I ended up getting a signature ideal cut, 0.74 carat, G color, and VVS2 clarity. I kept the best cut because I wanted the shine and brilliance.
I''m calling her parents this weekend, to ask for her hand in marriage. I would rather meet them in person, but they don''t live in the same city.
Now.....for the proposal plan, and the venue:
My girlfriend thinks that we''re going out of town to celebrate our anniversary, but little does she know that I''m actually going to propose. I want to ask her on the first day, so we can enjoy and relax the following two days.
I''m debating if I should propose at the hotel or on the boat at a nearby lake. I''m going to be rowing and in the same time say nice things to her to make her smile. I''m deciding whether I would do it during the day or at night. If during the day, I would bring an umbrella so it wouldn''t be too sunny for her. If at night, I want to somehow lit some candles (about 100) around the boat. I can''t decide if I should place some candles on top of the water (i need some sort of thing to allow the candle to float) or on top of the other row boats around. I don''t know yet if I can even do that. I will have to call the boat rental place to see. It may not be romantic to some, but you see.....I''ve first met her in a paddling club. It all started there, and I want to set a new beginning starting on a boat as well. If I can get the place to play ''our love song'' that would be even better....but don''t think they have that. I have to call and find out.
Then if it''s not on the boat, maybe in the room with 100 candles? (I don''t think the hotel will let me)Or maybe out in a garden which would be part of the hotel with a hundred candles? or maybe 1000? 1000 candles represent 1000 years of happiness and prosperity for the the couple.
Should I tweak it in anyway? Throw out any bad ideas? Is this lame?
can''t wait to see your handshot picturess.
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You made a great choice on the diamond! And I think the proposal on your trip sounds great! However, I think it is unlikely that anyone is going to let you light 100 or 1000 candles! I hate to say it, but if you do something like that, it''ll be a dead giveway that you are proposing! The boat thing makes me nervous to be honest! She''ll want to jump up and hug you and maybe even jump up and down! I just wouldn''t do it on a row boat. However, doing it soon after you get there is GREAT!
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