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Does anyone else have this problem???

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Jobo

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
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22
Hi all LIW

My partner and I have a wonderful close relationship and finally purchased a gorgeous 1.05ct E VS2 Solitaire engagement ring after much research on the pricescope page (and a thank you to Mr Holloway).

This was 3 months ago.

And he still hasn''t given it to me!

I know I might be slightly impatient, but as time goes by I can''t help but think that if he really loved me he would be falling over himself for us to make that commitment.

I have told him that due to timing and the seasons, that I would love a September wedding next year, so he does have heaps of time. And he keeps telling me that he is comfortable and knows where we are headed so that it will happen when it happens and I should just wait.

But have any other LIW actually started to become insecure or even resent their partner for ''controlling'' the situation?
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
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19,456
Yeah. But really, I don''t think I''m nearly as bad off as you probably are with knowing the ring is in his possession. BF and I first went ring shopping February of 2007, but I won''t be getting any engagement rings until this time next year. Which is probably a good thing, because I have changed my mind about 20 times. So whatever.

But you are definitely among friends here....

Welcome to the LIW board!
 
Joined
Mar 23, 2008
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5,384
Gosh yeah!! You are NOT alone. I obsess about my ring. He eventually agreed to telling me a time line because I was driving him flippin nuts. I know it''ll be before September 5th. Knowing him, it''ll be September 4th 11:58pm. With a minute of buffer time. ha.

I started thinking about it and would get mad. Thinking to myself, why would he want to wait so many extra months to give me the ring! I want it sooner! But I know he wants to plan the proposal and that has to be stressful. I''m pretty lucky knowing that it''ll be within the next few months.. so I shouldn''t complain-- yet.. I''m still playing victim!! I blame this all on myself and my obsession with a pretty ring. *drools* I am ssssssssssoooooooo excited. Why do you think I''m on here at 2:30am?? lol

I went from wanting a jan wedding to a may one, to june.. to october. October 2010. I already have my budget in excel, a guest list for my side and on sunday made him sit down and give me some names of people to invite on his side. I mean......... WTH!!
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Jobo

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
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22
Thank you both SO much for your comfort and lovely welcome to the LIW Board!

I guess I just needed to vent!

I was on the phone to a girlfriend and she was asking if we were engaged yet and when did I think it would happen and what if he didn''t propose by this September (as I have told him I would like a year to plan and book things) and all of a sudden I got so insecure and upset.

And it seems to have become more about why he hasn''t proposed than when is he going to propose??

I trust him and know that this is what he wants (and I''ve seen the money come out of our joint account - which he has since paid back out of his own money) but as you say, that_someone_special he does want to plan a special proposal and I know he wants to ask my dad first (which is lovely), and I guess that all takes time.

But dammit, I know if the ring was on the other hand (or the shoe on the other foot), I WOULD have done it by now!
 

Deelight

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
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5,543
He might just like to surprise you or he could be waiting for that one special moment there is a lot of pressure for a guy to make the perfect proposal. Unlike the wedding where it is mostly all about the bride the proposal is the guys chance to really have their own special moment and their spotlight and to be the champion. I really don''t think he loves you any less because he is making you wait :).

Just think he has the ring so it will happen, as hard as it may be just try and sit back and enjoy the ride :):):):)
 
Joined
Mar 23, 2008
Messages
5,384
Honestly WAITING is one of the hardest things I''ve ever had to do. I am NOT a patient person. When I want something, I''m the kind of girl that finds a darn way to get what she wants, and usually ASAP!

I wanted to learn how to play a guitar once. I went out and bought a new guitar and amp that day. Sadly, I sucked at it and got rid of it a year later.
I wanted to learn how to snowboard. I bought boots, bindings, and a board before there was even snow on the ground! I then convinced my parents to get me some lessons. That lasted a while, until my BEAUTIFUL board was stolen and I had to buy a new one. I was never the same after that! HAHA.
What else.. I was car shopping with a friend. I didn''t even NEED a car. Suddenly I found a car I wanted, and within a week, I bought it!


My whole life is full of stories like that. Recently I wanted a Tiffany ring (Torque) the silver one that''s $125. It''s not THAT much money, but I don''t have that right now to be spending on silver rings. I chose to sell some things on craigslist so I could get it. (Then I came back to reality and just put the $ on bills).

My whole point, is that I am NOT a patient person. Having something that is so close yet SO FAR out of reach drives me crazy. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it except bug him and drive him crazy too. Which isn''t good. So I''m learning to calm down, and write in here
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smiles

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
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202
Hi!!
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You said he took the $ from your joint account and has since paid it back. Maybe he was waiting to do that before he even started planning the proposal?! As we have discussed on this board, our SO''s like to get all their ducks in a row before proposing and maybe he didnt feel comfortable asking you to marry him when, essentially, you had both paid for the ring?

just one thought to maybe try and help reduce the anxiety!?!

keep us posted!!
 

Bia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 28, 2008
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6,181
It''s because boys are a mess! And so unbelievably annoying!!!
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That being said, Welcome!
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You have found a wonderful community here--one which will gladly listen to your gripes...and happily rejoice in your moment of truth...when it finally happens! From what I read, it will likely be sooner than later
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sweetjettagirl04

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
469
My FI waited 6 months and 16 days.

It wasn''t a fun wait.

But, it was worth it in the end.
 

Keepingthefaith21

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 17, 2007
Messages
1,531
What you are feeling is totally natural. Just recently I had said to one of my friends that I wish I could at least KNOW my SO was looking at rings. When I accidentally stumbled upon some temporary internet files that showed he has indeed been looking I was elated...at first. A few days later I started to freak myself out a bit that he had looked and decided he really wasn''t sure and that it would be another year or so before he would be ready to look again. What basis did I have to psyche myself out like this? None.

My friend, who was also an LIW, explained to me that once you get to the last phase, it''s almost more anxiety filled because you know the end is near and it is such an exciting time it feels like it could take forever!!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,169
D had the ring for nearly three months before we got engaged, however it was definitely worth the wait. Perhaps he''s planning a great proposal. Do you have any idea of when he''s going to do it?
 

ilovethiswebsite

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
1,788
Date: 5/14/2008 9:49:41 AM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
What you are feeling is totally natural. Just recently I had said to one of my friends that I wish I could at least KNOW my SO was looking at rings. When I accidentally stumbled upon some temporary internet files that showed he has indeed been looking I was elated...at first. A few days later I started to freak myself out a bit that he had looked and decided he really wasn''t sure and that it would be another year or so before he would be ready to look again. What basis did I have to psyche myself out like this? None.

My friend, who was also an LIW, explained to me that once you get to the last phase, it''s almost more anxiety filled because you know the end is near and it is such an exciting time it feels like it could take forever!!
You''re tellling me !!! I am dying... the last few weeks are passing by SOOOO SLOWLY.
 

claireabelle

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 28, 2008
Messages
366
haha... I''m in the exact same situation.

We had a ring made back in feb and i am still waiting. I fear it could be quite a long wait. He''s told me that it''s going to be in the last quarter of the year... it is really annoying but I keep sane by thinking he must be planning a show-stopper proposal.

He''s probably waiting for the opportunity to really knock you off your feet and surprise you - so try to sit tight and enjoy the ride.

The proposal is the guys thing. The girls get to flash their ring around to everyone and the guys get to boast about the proposal - it''s their little token.

after having said all this............. WAITING SUCKS!
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ilovethiswebsite

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
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1,788
Date: 5/15/2008 10:50:32 PM
Author: claireabelle
haha... I''m in the exact same situation.

We had a ring made back in feb and i am still waiting. I fear it could be quite a long wait. He''s told me that it''s going to be in the last quarter of the year... it is really annoying but I keep sane by thinking he must be planning a show-stopper proposal.

He''s probably waiting for the opportunity to really knock you off your feet and surprise you - so try to sit tight and enjoy the ride.

The proposal is the guys thing. The girls get to flash their ring around to everyone and the guys get to boast about the proposal - it''s their little token.

after having said all this............. WAITING SUCKS!
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Hi Claire! Is that a little beagle in your picture!@? Soooo cute.
 

claireabelle

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 28, 2008
Messages
366
Date: 5/15/2008 10:55:33 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite
Date: 5/15/2008 10:50:32 PM

Author: claireabelle

haha... I''m in the exact same situation.


We had a ring made back in feb and i am still waiting. I fear it could be quite a long wait. He''s told me that it''s going to be in the last quarter of the year... it is really annoying but I keep sane by thinking he must be planning a show-stopper proposal.


He''s probably waiting for the opportunity to really knock you off your feet and surprise you - so try to sit tight and enjoy the ride.


The proposal is the guys thing. The girls get to flash their ring around to everyone and the guys get to boast about the proposal - it''s their little token.


after having said all this............. WAITING SUCKS!
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Hi Claire! Is that a little beagle in your picture!@? Soooo cute.

Hi! She''s a beaglier (beagle x cavalier). She def. looks more beagley though - shes my pride and joy!!
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SarahLovesJS

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2008
Messages
5,206
Welcome!! My personal experience was FI bought the ring in Dec. and I got it on Feb. 14. I was starting to get impatient and a bit moody by the time he gave it to me!
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So you''re definitely not alone.
 

ilovethiswebsite

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
1,788
I want a beaglier!!!!!!! ahhaha. Adorable.
 

CNOS128

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
2,700
Just yesterday my BF and were having a discussion about this topic. I still don''t get it, but whatever he said to me made me happy to wait -- for a few more months, anyway. Past that, it''s not really going to be the ''surprise'' he wants it to be, because I''ll be expecting it around every corner...

Get the thought out of your head that "if he really love you...." Of course he really loves you, or he wouldn''t have gone out & spent all that money on a ring for you & spent the last few months dreaming up a special proposal!!
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