Does anyone else hate their photos?

[UnderBlue]

We've gotten a handful of pro photos back and I've seen photos our friends and family took, and there isn't a single one where I like how I look (partially due to a horrible haircut that left my bangs unmanageable).

The pro ones are done nicely and have good composition and depth of field and all that jazz, but I look horrible. All I can think is, "I can't even look nice for one day?" and I think of how I won't want to look back at our photos because I'll be focusing on how (bad) I looked. Most people look at their wedding photos and think that's the best they've ever looked, or the skinniest they've been or their happiest, but I will be thinking, that's the worst (hopefully) I've ever looked and I hate it.

It's really been affecting me (can you tell? =p) but there's nothing I can do about it. It's done, it's down for the record books and everyone to know/see. I looked like a disgusting blob on my wedding day. You'd think I'd be used to that by now, but I was hoping I'd magically be pretty for one day I guess.

I was hoping I could have this attitude: http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/07/a-way-to-weigh-what-you-weigh-when-you-wed/
But I just don't, and so I feel like a bit of a failure for that too...

 

[missy]

Hey UnderBlue,
I am so sorry you feel this way but let me reassure you that this will not matter in time. You need to focus on how wonderful it is that you are married to the love of your life and what a fun time everyone had at the wedding. I promise you that you are your own worst critic when looking at your wedding photos. Been there done that. And let me tell you it doesn't affect your future happiness so don't dwell on it and enjoy your new married life together. All that matters is you are in love and embarking on a great new adventure with your dh!!

Please don't be so hard on yourself!

Big hugs!!

 

[that_someone_special]

My photos from the chapel are TERRIBLE. DH looked at them and made a face like this he said they are not the best.. or even "good pictures" of me. I looked through all of them again last night and they are just terrible. We also had another guy doing out pictures after the ceremony and I KNOW those will be better.

 

[missy]

Just use the photos you like best & forget the rest. It sounds as if you will have some good ones and perhaps your guests will come through with good photos giving you more options.

 

[Liane]

I'm honestly not excited with my photos and have been putting off ordering the album of actual "real" pictures for over six months now because I don't even like the digital versions, really, so why do I want hard copies cluttering up my house?

It's not a slam on the photographer at all -- she did a phenomenal job of capturing everything and making it look lovely and happy and fun -- but I just don't like how I, personally, looked on that day. Hair was wrong, makeup was wrong, whole thing was just

Eh. It's over, it's really not a big thing in my life, I'm not upset about it because I generally don't spend any time thinking about it. But I do vaguely wish I'd stuck to my guns about the original hairstyle and makeup I wanted, and I don't really see any need to have a photo album made anytime soon.

 

[dragonfly411]

Underblue - I'm willing to bet they look a lot better than you personally feel they do.

 

[Haven]

I hate our wedding photos. I was pretty dramatic about the entire thing here on PS, and even after more than two years I still hate them. I'm not going to rehash all of it again now, but the pictures are, in actuality and truth, very bad.

I was really upset about it for a while, and I still wish we had a wedding album, but it is what it is.

The good news is that my marriage is wonderful. Even without a beautiful wedding album from our wedding day.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I would wait until you see all the pictures.

I know a lot of people took pics at my wedding, but only one person posted one, and I was hunched over. So I waited 5 weeks and my photographer put up a slide show and that was my first look at my pictures. I cried. In all of the pictures that I was facing forward in I was either hunched over (so the top of my dress looked like it was too big on my already small chest), had a double chin, or a weird smile. I was so upset. My husband kept saying he knew I took better pictures that that and to wait.

Finally all the proofs came back, and I just realized that me and my photographer have a very different idea of what is a good photo of me. There were plenty of better ones, and I think I hid a lot of the photos she used in her slide show. But out of 1000 photos, I was able to find the 60 that were needed for a photo album very easily.

I also would not have done the same hair and makeup if I had it to do over again, but I think the best thing to do is see past that, and look at the facial expressions of your husband and everyone else. What I love best about my wedding photos is it reminds me how happy I was, and how much my husband and family loves me. I am even going to use a couple of the photos with my S shaped posture because the emotions that those photos captured.

 

[lulu66]

... but I think the best thing to do is see past that, and look at the facial expressions of your husband and everyone else. What I love best about my wedding photos is it reminds me how happy I was, and how much my husband and family loves me. I am even going to use a couple of the photos with my S shaped posture because the emotions that those photos captured.

i love how ltlfirecracker put it!!

i don't have any advice on this from a personal perspective, except to say i'm not a huge fan of my "portrait" type pictures from the wedding day. and am overly critical of the faces i am making in some of them. but i do LOVE the ones were you can see the love between me and my husband & us and our family and friends. i'm sure once you see those you will find some photos you like too. and if you don't, you don't...you have your memories & hopefully those are filled with love and happiness. and maybe time will allow you to look at your photos through different eyes.

 

[GliderPoss]

I hate our wedding photos. I was pretty dramatic about the entire thing here on PS, and even after more than two years I still hate them. I'm not going to rehash all of it again now, but the pictures are, in actuality and truth, very bad.
I was really upset about it for a while, and I still wish we had a wedding album, but it is what it is.

The good news is that my marriage is wonderful. Even without a beautiful wedding album from our wedding day.

Yup ditto. I don't hate them but I was disappointed especially when I saw other peoples terrific ones. So we are happily married with no a single shot printed out or displayed even after 4 years. Hubby promises to photoshop them one day but until then....

Worst part is my hubby IS a talented photographer himself so when we got them back we were both like Guess it shows you get what you pay for but we were super young and broke so it seemed the right thing to do at that time....

 

[rosetta]

I must admit I'm already worried I won't like my photos, and my weddings not till July!!

***paranoia alert****

 

[petrock<3]

YES!!!!! It has vexed me since the wedding day! I have not ordered one print as yet.

I think because I had it all built up in my head that I would look spectacular amazing, etc. I have pics of me out to dinner where I look better. There were several mishaps on the wedding day that left me rushing to get ready, and I didn't even know what I looked like going down the aisle.

We were married in Bermuda, which had its own set of challenges. My makeup artist royally f'ed up my face, and took so long I didn't have much chance to fix it. My mom and my aunt were supposed to come to my room and help me get ready. They were late getting ready, my mom came only in time to help me get in my dress. My aunt had my earrings and didnt even make it to my room.

There were problems with the reception set up, and I was the closest one to it so I had to handle it. My groom was at the church already with no cell phone. I was distracted with that. I was supposed to be ready in time to go back to the hairdresser (on the resort not far away) to have my veil placed. Well, my car naver came to get me so I had to take a golf cart to the church, stopping for 2 seconds for the hairdresser to plop my veil on.

So there I was, going down the aisle late, no earrings and veil who knows??? I was pretty upset. We went right away to the pic location, and MH was freaking out about the timeline and insisted that we couldn't go to the beach that we CAME TO BERMUDA FOR!!! for the pics. Totally ridiculous, the island is so small. So we went to a cliff over looking the water, still beautiful, but not THE BEACH!! Half of the pics look like we are on a lawn that could be anywhere. I still had no earrings!!

Anyway, I look horrible and the backdrop is not at all what we planned on or spent all that money going to Bermuda for. Its been two years and I'm still sad about it. I know I need to get over it and there are two pics we got on the beach at our cocktail hour that are decent. So I am happy about that. I have friends that were married after with spectacular pics and I get so jealous.

I know, its petty and I don't know why it bothers me so much. We had a long engagement and I daydreamed about those damn pictures for too long!! So yeah I can relate.

 

[swingirl]

My wedding photos came out horrible. They sent a replacement photographer that showed up with a hand held camera instead of a profession camera on a tripod. His lighting was off, the photos were grainy, they were awful and the only decent one was a photo he took of us outside getting into the limo. Then he left the reception early, took a plane, and due to "personal problems" we didn't hear from him for weeks.

What I wish I would have done was get dressed up again, rent a tux for DH and have some formal photos of us taken. Because now, almost 30 years later, I don't have anything nice to frame, to pass on to my kids, or to look at. I really don't care what the chapel looked like, or the guests, or the food. I just wish I have a nice photo of my husband and myself.

So consider sitting for a formal photo where all you have to focus on is your hair, makeup and dress.

 

[petrock<3]

My wedding photos came out horrible. They sent a replacement photographer that showed up with a hand held camera instead of a profession camera on a tripod. His lighting was off, the photos were grainy, they were awful and the only decent one was a photo he took of us outside getting into the limo. Then he left the reception early, took a plane, and due to "personal problems" we didn't hear from him for weeks.

What I wish I would have done was get dressed up again, rent a tux for DH and have some formal photos of us taken. Because now, almost 30 years later, I don't have anything nice to frame, to pass on to my kids, or to look at. I really don't care what the chapel looked like, or the guests, or the food. I just wish I have a nice photo of my husband and myself.

So consider sitting for a formal photo where all you have to focus on is your hair, makeup and dress.

Oh no that's terrible! MH hates the photos too, we have been talking about doing that. I just want to look relaxed, happy, and have that moment with MH the way it was supposed to be. I think the pics look worse because we were stressed and rushed. But I should feel lucky we at least have one or two.

I'm sorry you don't even have a decent one That makes me sad!

 

[diva rose]

Sorry to hear about this - it must be so upsetting.

May I recommend something? How about getting another professional photo shoot done when you hair is nicer and you feel better.
You don't have to do anything grand - just take a few photos of you and your DH for an hour or so.
Some places will even hire out wedding dresses for the photos.

Swingal is totally right - who cares about the chapel and stuff. In the end - it is just about you and your DH.

 

[mayachel]

I am so relieved to see this thread! Of course, I am so sorry for all of you going through this too, but I have been churning this over since my wedding about 5 months ago now. What a story Swingirl! That does help put things in perspective for myself. I do think that you should consider putting the dress back on, getting your hair done, renting the tux etc... and getting some portraits by another photographer, or even just a friend who is good with a camera. Maybe for your one year anniversary?

For me, I spent so much time agonizing over finding the "perfect" photographer. I was a photo major in undergrad, and have done friend's weddings. I picked someone I felt had a similar eye to my own. She was/is incredibly friendly, professional etc...cost an arm and a leg for a fairly basic package, that dh and I paid for ourselves because I wanted that "complete control" over who we hired.

The day of the wedding I kept thinking that it seemed odd that both she and her assistant seemed to always be shooting from a crouched down, or low angled up direction (one that I know makes me look like I have a double chin despite the fact that I'm still a proportional size 4-6) a little voice in my head kept saying I should say something, but really wanted to believe-"hey I need to let go, and not try to take my own photo here, I picked them for a reason...etc..." well, the pictures were underwhelming to me.

The hard part is, the photos are fine, technically (for the most part). They are just frequently...boring. AND I was right about that double chin...eee gads! WHY IN THE BLAZES WOULD YOU DO THAT TO A BRIDE? I haven't been able to admit most of my feelings about the photos for fear of disappointing my DH. I know he knew how important it was to me, and fully supported whatever I wanted in choosing someone, and paying for that privilege.

When I received the digital proofs, it was true that the few "sneak peak" photos of what the photographer's vision and my own were, were likely not as matched as I suspected. And I have been able to pick out ones that I feel "aren't so bad". I'm also in the camp, of not having yet been able to bring myself to put together the album.

 

[rosetta]

heh heh.

i had double chin in some of my religious ceremony pics.

i thought it was because i was fat.

turns out it's all about the angle.

silly photographers.

at least i know to threaten my photographer with bamboo under the fingernails if she takes a double chin shot for on my wedding day....

 

[asymons412]

I was just talking to a BIW friend of mine and I told her that the first thing she should do is have a few photographers take practice shots of her and her fiance *before the wedding*. There are some photographers that will make you look terrible no matter how wonderful you look; I know a photographer like this. I don't know if it's her bad luck, her camera or what, but she has never taken a flattering picture of anyone at any of the events I've attended (eg. my bat mitzvah [back in the day!], my brother's graduation, my mother's wedding...). Find a photographer who can take a good shot of you and run with them! When it comes time for my wedding, I'm absolutely having photographer "try-outs!"

The moral of the story is: it isn't you. And I'm all for the idea of re-renting a tux and having a few lovely professional re-wedding shots taken.

 

[Mayk]

While I did love my pictures I was not crazy about my hair. We are doing a trash the dress photo shoot... Maybe your should put that dress on again and give it a go! Who cares if the wedding is past.

 

[JacquiT]

My wedding photos are pretty good, but taking them was a pain. My photographer was shy and did not really speak up- nobody knew where to stand. It was awkward. The final product came out nice though.

However- my wedding video was horrendous! It was like he filmed it on a boat... it was so rocky. And, my videographer accidentally deleted 2 hours of footage.. including father/daughter, mother son dance, dinner and all of cocktail hour! Then he sent me the final copy thinking I would not realize it. I was so upset. I'll never have that on video and it broke my heart.

 

[hoofbeats95]

I didn't LOVE my photos when I first saw then. I didn't hate them but I was disappointed. We put a TON of weight on the photos I think. It's about all you have left of that day. I don't think I could handle the pressure if I was a wedding photographer.

We choose a very expensive photographer. We could have chose a cheaper one and gotten EVERY digital picture from that guy. But when we had a meeting with him we felt rushed an not important. The photographer we chose was amazing with us. We loved her. So we forked over the money and I was worried that I'd regret not getting digital pics and I talked to her about it. As a result we can have 50 pics for $250. *shrug* I'm ok with that, but not the happiest considering how much money we spent on her already.

That being said - back to the photos. . . there are some really good photos, but I also know she was capable of better. I have some photo knowledge as I've done equestrian competitions and been published in international magazines. While portraits aren't my thing, I do know what I saw in her talent and I felt ours are just mediocre. We met with her last week to order prints and our album. She designed the album layout and I requested a few changes. Her studio samples of the albums are much more creative. And here's the thing. . . we did first look photos and in the one where I'm walking up behind my husband, our florist is standing in the doorway just behind his head. It's very distracting! At the meeting she said she tried to remove her. Then suddenly she said "wait I have another photo of the door, let me try". She tried a quick edit and what do ya know? The lady is gone. Why couldn't she have made that effort before she sent us the album proof. And if she didn't try there, what else could she do that she didn't? Which backs up my belief that my album isn't that creative.

With that being said, I had planned on a "Rock the Dress" session. (Trash the dress if you will, but I didn't trash mine). And since I wasn't as happy with some of our wedding shots I asked to bring my husband with me. She seemed surprised by that thought. But then I explained I wanted some studio shots. You can't do that on the wedding day. We did some amazingly fun photos! He wore a suit. I got my hair done, differently from how I had it the wedding day. I made my own bouquet - more casual. They turned out really good. I would post some in a thread if people wanted to see. Let me know.

But maybe you could do that? Get dressed up again! You will have more time than on the wedding day and be more relaxed. It's so fun!

Also - did your photographer include an engagement session? We had one and our photos turned out really well. It allowed us to get to know our photographer and we felt really secure going into the wedding. I think it's definitely a good idea to do a session before the wedding.

Another thing that frustrates me. . . I'm not the skinniest person around and I've always felt like photographers put sample pics up of skinny people. Well my hairdresser used my photographer last year. The photographer has a photo from her engagement session on the wall at the studio and an album from that session (or maybe a wedding album I can't remember). She isn't skinner than me. Her husband isn't thinner than mine. I commented before the wedding that I want a "wall worthy" photo. She laughed at me. Well you know what I think some of mine (especially from the dress session) knock my hairdresser's out of the water. But I'm not on the wall. I've always thought it was cause I wasn't skinny. Who knows. *eye roll* I take things personally I guess. lol

 

[Mayk]

We did it a little differently.. we headed to the beach and not as careful as we had been doing pictures on the wedding day so we didn't trash it but we got it a little sandy.. and then at the wedding we had no sunset photos when the beach & the sky are the prettiest...and we really wanted those.. I did my own hair..which in the picture is windblown.... which was o.k. and no flowers.. but this by far is my favorite photo.. over and above my wedding photos..which were really great except I hated my hair in almost every picture......

 

[hoofbeats95]

My current avatar (not sure how long I'll keep it) is from my "Rock The Dress" session. I adore it! lol. We had a total blast on a slightly rainy day. We even walked barefoot through puddles with an umbrella! We definitely have more "fun" photos from the RTD session. I really think you should consider a session like this if you truly hate your photos. Also it's a great excuse to put that dress on one more time!!!

 

[mayerling]

Sorry to hear about this - it must be so upsetting.

May I recommend something? How about getting another professional photo shoot done when you hair is nicer and you feel better.
You don't have to do anything grand - just take a few photos of you and your DH for an hour or so.
Some places will even hire out wedding dresses for the photos.

Swingal is totally right - who cares about the chapel and stuff. In the end - it is just about you and your DH.

Excellent suggestion! This is actually done very frequently where I'm from because they might not have time to take pics at a scenic location on the actual day of the wedding. People just wear the same stuff and pretend it's their wedding day.

 

[Amys Bling]

I really like the "rock the dress" photo idea!! Great way to get photos you can't do on your wedding day.

 

[Zunibaba]

Oh well, did you have your haircut a day or few days before the day you got married? If so, that is really not advisable. You should've had it cut a week or two prior the day that you're getting married.