LiW do you plan on taking your future husband''s name?

[vip0802]

or will you hyphenate it, or keep your maiden name?

i had a "teenage girl" moment and started doodling BF''s name and mine to see how it would sound together.

i started thinking about this a while ago actually, and i''m still undecided. i''m a bit of a traditionalist so i''d want to take his last name, but i have an unusual first name that sounds odd with his last name. i tried hyphenating my last name and his and it just sounds even more odd to me...my last name rhymes with the first part of his last name so it almost sounds like i''m stuttering if i say it out loud. also my first and last names consists of only 6 letters combined, while BF''s last name alone has 8. the thought of having a 14 letter name is like

!

the majority of my girlfriends hyphenated their names after getting married, and a few kept their maiden names for professional reasons. i''m Vietnamese/Chinese and several female cousins of mine took on their Caucasian husband''s last names. one of them said she gets a kick whenever people do a double-take at her when she says her married name. for example when she went to the doctor''s, the nurse called out, "*first name* Thompson?" and she totally did not expect my cousin to walk up. haha!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Yes! I will be proud to be his wife and proud to take his name. Plus I''m a traditionalist.

And oh, our last names have the same number of letters and (I can''t give it all away) but some of the letters are the same in our name so it wont be much of a change anyway other than a few letters! lol

 

[jcarlylew]

since i could not plan the wedding right after getting engagulated (ha!) i started practicing my "new" name. honestly, it took me 5 years to get down my own signature, so i knew i needed to start early

I will take Erics last name, and am still deciding how to incorperate my old last name, since i am the last of our ''clan''. i am, however, continuing on my middle name (pawpa and dad have the same) to my children

 

[ladypirate]

We''re both taking each others names, so it will go from MyFirst MyLast and HisFirst HisLast to My First MyLast HisLast and HisFirst MyLast HisLast. What is kind of funny is that our last names rhyme, so it will end up kind of like "MyFirst and HisFirst Dotty Manacotti" if that makes sense (even though those are not the syllables). Doesn''t bother me though--it''s kind of funny!

 

[misskitty]

Definitely taking his. I have a very long, difficult-to-pronounce, ethnic last name, and while I love my family, I can''t wait to swap it out for something a little easier. Hyphenating is out of the question, because I have enough trouble filling out forms as it is!

The one bummer is that I have a super common first name, and B''s last name is the Italian equivalent of "Smith" or "Jones" -- means I will definitely not be the only MyFirstName HisLastName around. Right now, I''m totally unique.

 

[princessplease]

Definitely taking his last name. I have a BAD last name, no offense to pops, but I''m definitely talking FI''s last name. I have a brother, so the name will live on when he marries. My first and FI''s last sound really good together

 

[Jessie702]

I do plan on taking his name, BUT, im keeping my name as my stage name for acting. I have some credits in that name and wish to keep them, so in a way ill still have my maiden name

 

[kittybean]

Date: 7/9/2009 6:52:33 PM
Author: misskitty
Definitely taking his. I have a very long, difficult-to-pronounce, ethnic last name, and while I love my family, I can''t wait to swap it out for something a little easier. Hyphenating is out of the question, because I have enough trouble filling out forms as it is!

The one bummer is that I have a super common first name, and B''s last name is the Italian equivalent of ''Smith'' or ''Jones'' -- means I will definitely not be the only MyFirstName HisLastName around. Right now, I''m totally unique.

Okay, not an LIW, but I find the name-change question fascinating. It''s funny how two people will see the exact same situation completely differently--these were some of the reasons why I didn''t change my crazy last name

.

It seems like, no matter what you do, there are major pros and cons to each choice (at least there were for me). Guys have this whole thing much too easy!

 

[Snicklefritz]

Ugh. I think so. I like my name much better than his, and of course there''s other reasons for my attachment, but it''s really important to him. So I am 99% sure that I will take it. And I''m going to make a grand gesture to show him that I am ready to take it.

 

[megumic]

FF and I actually had a fight about this exact topic. I said I might keep my name, you know to maintain my identity and professionally. Plus, his sister has the same first name as me. Sometimes it feels as if it''s enough that we have the same first name, although, admittedly, we spell it differently. I think he is a little offended by this and he certainly doesn''t like it one bit. We could hyphenate and it would work, but I don''t know if he''d go for that. At this point, I don''t know what will happen...suggestions?!?!

 

[Blackpaw]

Im undecided about what ill do

I dont really want to keep my own last name - not a huge fan of the side of the family and its not that nice - but i kinda wouldnt mind taking my mum''s maiden name.

I thought of hyphenating my mums maiden name and my BFs last name, but his last name is quite long, and i think it just sounds a bit much. PLus it would be a lot of effort to sign it

SO yes im not sure what to do

BUt then i have plenty of time to decide no doubt

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I'm definitely keeping my name!

I've always felt the American tradition of the woman changing her last name was one-sided in an unfair way. But maybe it bothered me because in my culture, women don't change their names when they marry. It would be a horrible insult to your own family to do so.

My fiance wanted me to change my name, but I feel very strongly about keeping it for personal and cultural reasons. I've dreamed of being Dr.MTG since I was a little girl, being Dr.X wouldn't nearly be the same, and it would just kill my dad. So my fiance couldn't really make much of an argument without sounding bratty

. I'll be the only woman to marry into his family and not change names, haha.

I do plan on socially going by Mrs. X though, and go by Dr.MTG professionally. Also, I'm saving myself a lot of paperwork this way!

 

[Erinleigh]

Great topic!
This is something I''ve been debating for a while... My last name is VERY common, and it''s something I''m not too attached to. I''d LOVE to hyphenate my last name, but I think that my last name an FF''s last name dont sound nice together. He has an italian last name that is ALWAYS butchered... so I dont know if thats something I really want to take on, hyphenated or on its own? Im at a loss... *Sigh*

 

[katomm]

Yes, I''ll definitely take his name. I haven''t spoken to my father in 13 years so I have no attachment at all to my maiden name.

 

[sparklyheart]

I will definitely take his! I can''t wait to have a name I don''t have to spell my name with words (a as in apple, p as in pear, p as in purple, l as in lion, e as in elephant!) Ok that''s clearly not my last name but you get the point. Plus people will be able to pronounce it ONE way, not eight. They can''t add letters or take them out.. Ah, how great will that be??

 

[Bjedifish]

I CAN"T WAIT to get rid of my last name!!! I will be so excited to have his last name its not even funny!!!

 

[BlueSki231]

heyyyyal no I''m not taking his name!! my name is MY NAME and it''s remaining un-altered for the rest of my life.

if our society ever gets to the point where it''s generally socially acceptable for a man to take the woman''s name, then we''ll talk...
(hehe my feminist side coming out...

)

 

[ksluice]

Date: 7/9/2009 10:48:56 PM
Author: Namaste
heyyyyal no I''m not taking his name!! my name is MY NAME and it''s remaining un-altered for the rest of my life.


if our society ever gets to the point where it''s generally socially acceptable for a man to take the woman''s name, then we''ll talk...

(hehe my feminist side coming out...

)

I''m with ya Namaste! I didn''t spend the last 13 years making a name for myself in my field only to have that name erased! At the same time, if someone needs to call me Mrs. they are free to attach his name. I figure I''ll just view it as an alternate identity. One of many we women have to take on, right?

 

[ksluice]

Date: 7/9/2009 8:40:33 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I''m definitely keeping my name!


I''ve always felt the American tradition of the woman changing her last name was one-sided in an unfair way. But maybe it bothered me because in my culture, women don''t change their names when they marry. It would be a horrible insult to your own family to do so.


My fiance wanted me to change my name, but I feel very strongly about keeping it for personal and cultural reasons. I''ve dreamed of being Dr.MTG since I was a little girl, being Dr.X wouldn''t nearly be the same, and it would just kill my dad. So my fiance couldn''t really make much of an argument without sounding bratty

. I''ll be the only woman to marry into his family and not change names, haha.


I do plan on socially going by Mrs. X though, and go by Dr.MTG professionally. Also, I''m saving myself a lot of paperwork this way!

I missed your response earlier MTG! We think just alike--Dr. Dazzle or Mrs. L, but most of the time I''ll just be Topo.

 

[ckrickett]

I definately want to take his last name.... altho I ill sound like some crazy underwater crustacean

 

[jaylex]

i''m going to be taking his last name. I do love my last name though, but his is great too and I''ll be proud to have it!
he sometimes calls me "mrs. hislastname" anyway. I love it. My first name sounds just as great with his last name as it does with mine.

He has a semi-common last name (not as common as smith.. but it''s really easy to pronounce.. you can''t get it wrong)
My last name is kinda uncommon. It''s mispronounced quite frequently because part of it is spelled "bau", but we say "bow" and everyone else seems to favor "boh"
i''m not going to miss that part.

Both of our last names have two syllables so it''s not that weird to me.

I have a friend tho, who has 7 syllables in her first and last name together (3 in her first, 4 in her last) and they are 21 letters long! When she and her fiance get married, she will only be losing 2 letters (and no syllables) as he has a long last name too! lol.

 

[Callisto]

I''m totally cool with taking his last name. Although I don''t usually consider myself a traditionalist I guess that doesn''t apply to this topic. I''d be totally fine with keeping my last name too. I''ve never considered hyphenating my last name, it''s always seemed a little high maintenance or something to me. Like "I want to take his last name and be traditional but also keep my last name and be contemporary so I''ll just make my name really freaking long and doom my children to not learning to spell their names until they''re 10." I know a few people who kept their maiden names for professional reasons and socially changed their name which is cool too.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I am not 100% sure what I am going to do yet.

I am going to keep my name professionally. I already have my degree under that name, and like MTG said, I also like the name of having the name from my side of the family.

Personally, I will probably take his name. I am not sure how I will do it. I don''t want to drop my middle name (all the first born daughters have that name), so I am thinking I will have 4 names and use my maiden name professionally and my married name socially? I haven''t thought of a cleaner way to do it.

 

[Octavia]

I never planned to take my husband's last name, even when I was a silly, lovesick, doodling teenager. FI doesn't like it, but has come around to it. Since we've been engaged, I've gotten slightly less vehement about it, and I offered to compromise -- I would take his name if he would also take mine (the logistics are still up in the air, but as the old saying goes, what's good for the goose is good for the gander). He didn't like that much either, but he realizes that the only thing standing in the way of him getting what he wants is himself, so he's stopped whining for the most part. Every once in awhile he'll make a comment about it, so I just smile and raise my eyebrows at him, and he knows exactly what that means.

 

[daydreamer]

I''m not changing my name. He''s not thrilled, but he''ll accept it. If we have children, I''m sure we''ll have more to discuss - he he.

My official reason is that I have degrees and a career in my own name, but really my main reason is sentimental. I''m attached to my name because it represents me, my ethnic heritage, my connection to my family and our history. I couldn''t imagine changing that.

 

[kittybean]

Date: 7/10/2009 12:58:30 AM
Author: daydreamer
I'm not changing my name. He's not thrilled, but he'll accept it. If we have children, I'm sure we'll have more to discuss - he he.

My official reason is that I have degrees and a career in my own name, but really my main reason is sentimental. I'm attached to my name because it represents me, my ethnic heritage, my connection to my family and our history. I couldn't imagine changing that.

Exactly.

Our kids can have his last name--keeping my name is really just about me. I'm not offended to be call Mrs. Hislast, so hopefully that should work for everyone.

ETA: I have degrees and a bar admission in my name, too, and I'm very proud of myself for living through the experience as Ms. Kitty Bean

, so I'm pretty attached to my name in that way too.

 

[misskitty]

Date: 7/9/2009 7:24:00 PM
Author: kittybean

Date: 7/9/2009 6:52:33 PM

Author: misskitty

Definitely taking his. I have a very long, difficult-to-pronounce, ethnic last name, and while I love my family, I can''t wait to swap it out for something a little easier. Hyphenating is out of the question, because I have enough trouble filling out forms as it is!


The one bummer is that I have a super common first name, and B''s last name is the Italian equivalent of ''Smith'' or ''Jones'' -- means I will definitely not be the only MyFirstName HisLastName around. Right now, I''m totally unique.

Okay, not an LIW, but I find the name-change question fascinating. It''s funny how two people will see the exact same situation completely differently--these were some of the reasons why I didn''t change my crazy last name

.


It seems like, no matter what you do, there are major pros and cons to each choice (at least there were for me). Guys have this whole thing much too easy!

I can totally see your angle of it, too. There really are major pros and cons to both, and right now I''m probably just leaning towards my current feelings because of silly inconveniences like misspelled business cards (someone didn''t bother to proof mine, and now it looks like I don''t know how to spell my own last name...oops).

FWIW, I likely won''t be finished with grad school until after I''m married, so I technically haven''t built a career on any name. The only real reason to keep my family name is because of the connection I feel to my family/heritage. I think using my maiden name as a middle name could be an acceptable compromise; I''d get to honor both families and enjoy the convenience of a short, easily-pronounced name in career and social situations.

 

[SeaStar]

I''m taking his name.

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 7/9/2009 6:52:33 PM
Author: misskitty
Definitely taking his. I have a very long, difficult-to-pronounce, ethnic last name, and while I love my family, I can't wait to swap it out for something a little easier. Hyphenating is out of the question, because I have enough trouble filling out forms as it is!

The one bummer is that I have a super common first name, and B's last name is the Italian equivalent of 'Smith' or 'Jones' -- means I will definitely not be the only MyFirstName HisLastName around. Right now, I'm totally unique.

Haha ditto that. I have a SUPER italian last name that is 10 letters long. With my first name its 18 letters total, and every time I have to fill out forms I run out of room! LOL

QUOTE SParkley Heart "I will definitely take his! I can't wait to have a name I don't have to spell my name with words (a as in apple, p as in pear, p as in purple, l as in lion, e as in elephant!) Ok that's clearly not my last name but you get the point. Plus people will be able to pronounce it ONE way, not eight. They can't add letters or take them out.. Ah, how great will that be??" END QUOTE

HAHA I have to do the same thing!!! And with 10 letters it takes forever!

To answer the question, yes I will be taking his last name. I ADORE my last name, I really do and will miss it, but I am a traditionalist and I think there is something very romantic about it, and wouldnt feel "officially" married without doing it. I think its disresepctful not to do it, and I know my FF would be hurt if I didnt. Funny thing is too, I hate his last name! haha. Its only TWO letters. Its a portugese last name, and while very common in portugal, it isnt here, so with two letters and an accent mark, it still gets mispronounced. But at least when I have to spell it I will only have to say two letters!

 

[purselover]

Yes! I''m excited to change my name, I will use his name both personally and professionally.