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Do you like getting cash as a gift?

Do you like getting cash as a gift?

  • Yes

    Votes: 39 90.7%
  • I'm indifferent

    Votes: 1 2.3%
  • No

    Votes: 3 7.0%

  • Total voters
    43
  • Poll closed .

kenny

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This was mentioned in another thread, and I'm curious ...

Do you like getting cash as a gift?
 

kenny

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I like it.
I can go buy what I like, or just use it to pay a bill ... it's my private choice.

IMO this is 100 times more considerate than picking something they think I'd like.
They could be wrong - but what I choose is never wrong.
 

MeowMeow

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Yes for exactly the same reasons as you stated. I really appreciate people's effort when they buy me gifts and I always thank them. But i appreciate it even more when the choice of what I get or do is mine.
 

Gussie

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Also, cash is much preferred to gift cards. Anyone need my address? :lol:
 

kenny

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Also, cash is much preferred to gift cards. Anyone need my address? :lol:
Sorry, you're just a few minutes late.
I just sent a box of a million dollars cash to a friend, and I'm out of money now.
 

telephone89

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I prefer it, but there are many people in my life I'd be remiss to even think about giving cash to haha.
 

diamondseeker2006

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My husband lets me choose my gifts from him. That makes us both extremely happy! I tell my kids I like restaurant and nail salon gift cards. I still can't quite let go of buying my grown kids a gift, but realistically, everyone would rather have money!
 

kenny

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... I still can't quite let go of buying my grown kids a gift, but realistically, everyone would rather have money!
IMO we all should give gifts that recipients prefer to get.
Shouldn't a gift should be more about the recipient than the giver?

But people vary ... so keep giving what the kids prefer to not get, since you know better.
 
Last edited:

voce

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Well, playing devil's advocate, I would say we should not give cash to drug addicts or video game addicts or addicts in general who might do more harm to themselves if given cash rather than if given some sensible gift.
 

dk168

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To me personally, cash is impersonal.
However I would rather receive cash than a bad gift or no gift at all!

DK :))
 

kenny

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Well, playing devil's advocate, I would say we should not give cash to drug addicts or video game addicts or addicts in general who might do more harm to themselves if given cash rather than if given some sensible gift.
:doh::doh::doh:
 

lissyflo

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I think like everything it depends on the situation, but cash can sometimes feel like a cold and thoughtless gift. My husband is under strict instruction never to buy me anything without me being involved and I always tend towards cash for birthday parties for my children’s friends. But my favourite gift ever is a painting that a school friend did for me because she thought/knew I’d like the theme and style. Would I pay money to buy that painting in a shop? No, but I absolutely value the effort and gesture, and effort like that cements relationships in a way that giving cash doesn’t in my mind.
 

missy

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Yes I prefer it. I am picky and I am hard to buy good gifts for so giving me cash is a sure way to give me a gift I will appreciate and put to good use.

Not everyone likes cash however. So when I buy a gift I always try to get what the recipient wants and not what I want. IMO a gift is for the recipient. Period.
 

missy

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Well, playing devil's advocate, I would say we should not give cash to drug addicts or video game addicts or addicts in general who might do more harm to themselves if given cash rather than if given some sensible gift.
True. To address that concern, I am not purchasing gifts for drug addicts. Unless it is a stay in rehab and only then if they really want it because from what I understand a drug addict has to want to get better to actually get better. But I digress.
 

missy

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To me personally, cash is impersonal.
However I would rather receive cash than a bad gift or no gift at all!

DK :))
This is my take on it. If the recipient wants cash and will enjoy putting it to use then it is not impersonal at all. However, for someone who feels that way, an actual wrapped gift would be my preference for you. I would just make sure I knew what you wanted and get it for you. Because as you write a bad gift is not as good as cash where you can buy exactly what you want. But I hear you. You want the person to go out and buy you a physical gift but one that you will enjoy and appreciate. Easy if you give that person clues or even just tell them what you want or register for such gifts. Basically, a gift registry is almost the same as cash because you are getting exactly what you want as you registered for it.
 

missy

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I think like everything it depends on the situation, but cash can sometimes feel like a cold and thoughtless gift. My husband is under strict instruction never to buy me anything without me being involved and I always tend towards cash for birthday parties for my children’s friends. But my favourite gift ever is a painting that a school friend did for me because she thought/knew I’d like the theme and style. Would I pay money to buy that painting in a shop? No, but I absolutely value the effort and gesture, and effort like that cements relationships in a way that giving cash doesn’t in my mind.
I am glad it works well for you. And I get how you value the effort your dh puts into finding you a special gift. And I love that painting that you cherish that was a gift from your friend. That is very meaningful. And heartwarming.

My DH used to go out and surprise me with gifts. But we both quickly realized it was a waste of money as I am super picky and like to choose (for the most part) my own gifts. No judgment or right or wrong here. IMO it is what works for each couple and individual. Don't you think?

And now we choose my gifts (and my dh's gifts) together. We don't usually purchase surprise gifts anymore and it works out very well for us. No way could my dh have chosen my gorgeous OEC ER nor could I have chosen the tools he so covets and uses to create beautiful things.

What works for one doesn't work for everyone and you say cold and thoughtless and I say loving and thoughtful. Because he knows me so well and wants to make me happy as I do him.

Not conform to what society says a gift should be. YMMV. And that is fine. One size does not fit all.
 

missy

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I like it.
I can go buy what I like, or just use it to pay a bill ... it's my private choice.

IMO this is 100 times more considerate than picking something they think I'd like.
They could be wrong - but what I choose is never wrong.


IMO we all should give gifts that recipients prefer to get.
Shouldn't a gift should be more about the recipient than the giver?
This is completely my thinking as well. 100% a gift should be about the recipient and not the person giving the gift. IMO. And those are the most successful gifts too.

When my dh and I were dating he got me a gift of TIVO. OMG I had no clue what it was but it was one of the best gifts I ever got. Why? Because he knew me so well at that time and he knew I would be over the moon with TIVO. And I was. This was in the 90s.... one example of a gift that was not cash that hit the mark completely. Still one of the best gifts I ever got. And we have many TIVOs now. Too many lol.
 

dk168

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@missy Luckily those who know me well know I have strong personal tastes and do not really need anything, so they would give me cash to spend as I please.

My Amethyst from Richard Homer was partly funded using the cash they gave me, bless them.

DK :))
 

lissyflo

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I am glad it works well for you. And I get how you value the effort your dh puts into finding you a special gift. And I love that painting that you cherish that was a gift from your friend. That is very meaningful. And heartwarming.

My DH used to go out and surprise me with gifts. But we both quickly realized it was a waste of money as I am super picky and like to choose (for the most part) my own gifts. No judgment or right or wrong here. IMO it is what works for each couple and individual. Don't you think?

And now we choose my gifts (and my dh's gifts) together. We don't usually purchase surprise gifts anymore and it works out very well for us. No way could my dh have chosen my gorgeous OEC ER nor could I have chosen the tools he so covets and uses to create beautiful things.

What works for one doesn't work for everyone and you say cold and thoughtless and I say loving and thoughtful. Because he knows me so well and wants to make me happy as I do him.

Not conform to what society says a gift should be. YMMV. And that is fine. One size does not fit all.
Missy, I certainly didn’t mean to make generalisations or imply something about others’ relationships or motivations, so apologies. I said ‘can sometimes feel cold and impersonal’ as my view is that it depends on the precise relationship between giver and receiver, but I obviously didn’t phrase that clearly enough.

You definitely misread the bit in my post about my husband - he puts no thought process effort into choosing presents - as I said he is under strict instruction never to buy me a gift without me being involved, so he does effectively give me cash as the gift is always of my choosing. We work what seems to be the same situation as you and your DH. I don’t find that cold and impersonal, or I wouldn’t work that way with my husband. But I do sometimes feel like I’m being lazy when I give cash to my children’s friends (probably because I AM doing it slightly out of laziness!) and I’d find it slightly off-putting if some (but not all) of my friends gave me cash in a card (but not if they gave say restaurant or massage vouchers which are a similar idea I guess so I’m not sure why I’d feel that way). I know that my MIL would feel incredibly uncomfortable giving cash so I’d never ask that of her - as you say, gifts are a two way street as part of a relationship.

I think we’re sort of agreeing that it depends on the specific people involved?!
 

missy

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Missy, I certainly didn’t mean to make generalisations or imply something about others’ relationships or motivations, so apologies. I said ‘can sometimes feel cold and impersonal’ as my view is that it depends on the precise relationship between giver and receiver, but I obviously didn’t phrase that clearly enough.

You definitely misread the bit in my post about my husband - he puts no thought process effort into choosing presents - as I said he is under strict instruction never to buy me a gift without me being involved, so he does effectively give me cash as the gift is always of my choosing. We work what seems to be the same situation as you and your DH. I don’t find that cold and impersonal, or I wouldn’t work that way with my husband. But I do sometimes feel like I’m being lazy when I give cash to my children’s friends (probably because I AM doing it slightly out of laziness!) and I’d find it slightly off-putting if some of my friends gave me cash in a card (but not if they gave say restaurant or massage vouchers which are a similar idea I guess so I’m not sure why I’d feel that way). I know that my MIL would feel incredibly uncomfortable giving cash so I’d never ask that of her - as you say, gifts are a two way street as part of a relationship.

I think we’re sort of agreeing that it depends on the specific people involved?!
Yes I did misread that. Sorry. Taking care of the "patient" (who is trying my patience lol) and the mischievous troublemaking cat has depleted my brain reserves these days.

We do have a similar set up it seems and it works well for us. My DH actually doesn't give me cash however as I just choose the bling I want and buy it (we share all financial accounts etc) and say it is from him. After making sure he is good with it of course. So not money per se but it works out like that.

And I hear you re MIL and cash. My MIL would never give us cash either. But then again, she very rarely gives us any gift. So that IMO is not thoughtful at all. But she did surprise me this summer and gave me lovely note cards for my birthday. Which I truly appreciated.

In our circles we do give cash to our friends kids but again that is just the way it is done and depending on what region one is from and what other friends do dictates the "norm" I guess. I definitely know people who are insulted with cash as a gift and those people never get cash from me. Again I always give what I think the recipient would want vs what I would want. I think using that as a rule of thumb always works out pretty well for everyone.

"I think we’re sort of agreeing that it depends on the specific people involved?!"
Yes, definitely.
 

missy

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I’d find it slightly off-putting if some of my friends gave me cash in a card (but not if they gave say restaurant or massage vouchers which are a similar idea I guess so I’m not sure why I’d feel that way).
Oh and I get why you would feel like this I think. Because if they give you a voucher or gift card it shows a bit more thought into it vs just cash which doesn't show they know who you are and what you would like. So a gift card for a massage or restaurant at least shows more thought into what you would like vs just cash. As long as you would appreciate a massage or like the restaurant they got you the gift card for lol. And it also involves the extra step of getting that gift card. So yes, I see why you would prefer that over just cash. It is different.
 

lissyflo

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We do have a similar set up it seems and it works well for us. My DH actually doesn't give me cash however as I just choose the bling I want and buy it (we share all financial accounts etc) and say it is from him. After making sure he is good with it of course. So not money per se but it works out like that.
We definitely operate a similar system then. I technically bought my engagement ring when we chose it, as finances/cash flow made that the most sensible decision for us at the time. Possibly taking it a little too far in that specific circumstance but a win is a win!
 

MamaBee

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My husband gives me mad money..a/k/a cash...which is the best present ever. He would walk into a store and buy the blingiest, tackiest piece of jewelry known to man if left to his own devices. He has done that. They were doozies..argh...Friends, etc..I prefer to get a gift that they pick out themselves..I give my children and daughter-in-law a check for Christmas and birthdays..but I also pair it with a gift that I think they will like.
 

Arcadian

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I gift money to my parents all the time (they're retired, so its welcome!) My husband loves the fact I'd rather have money than him being stressed out if I actually like something. I like the fact that I can get exactly what I want with said money...lol

He loves getting gifts from me though....I do pretty good in general, he wears all of it...lol
 

MamaBee

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My husband gives me mad money..a/k/a cash...which is the best present ever. He would walk into a store and buy the blingiest, tackiest piece of jewelry known to man if left to his own devices. He has done that. They were doozies..argh...Friends, etc..I prefer to get a gift that they pick out themselves..I give my children and daughter-in-law a check for Christmas and birthdays..but I also pair it with a gift that I think they will like.
I’m replying to myself because I wanted to clarify he doesn’t actually hand me cash..He makes up a card and writes a number on a paper that he folds up and puts in the card so I have to open it up. No cash exchanges hands...I just buy from our joint account..I keep track of what I spend like an accountant. I’m really honest down to the dollar and will periodically update him and show him what I buy. He doesn’t check because he trusts me..:bigsmile:
 

pearlsngems

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Simple answer: show me the cash!

Longer reply: I seem to be at a very simple time of life when it comes to gifts, my parents, in-laws and only sibling having passed away.

I choose, and buy, my own gifts, as does my husband. This suits me fine. I do not tend to be sentimental about objects, with a very few exceptions. I'm picky and prefer to choose my own...everything. I also found that giving my husband hints, even explicit hints (this item, from this store) never really worked. He would buy something else...which I would return, and get what I actually wanted. It was a relief to both of us when we decided to stop wasting time and money doing that. He also prefers getting what he actually wants, when he wants it, which tends to be costlier items but less frequently-- not necessarily for his birthday or Christmas.

We do give each other little surprises, not terribly expensive, at random times, mostly of the tasty sort! :bigsmile: Buying one's own gifts doesn't have to be unromantic.

When my DH's parents and mine were still living, my DH and I preferred receiving cash for birthdays and Christmas, especially after our daughter was born and I left work to be a SAHM, as money was tight. My parents actually helped us with a few large unexpected expenses, like replacing our well pump. For Christmas/birthdays, all 4 parents kept giving us things we didn't need or want, but as they grew older and frailer, it became easier for them to just give us cash. That suited us just fine! For their part, they still preferred receiving "stuff" so we obliged them. After Dad died, I moved my mother back to CT. She lived in a small CCRC apartment and clutter was undesirable, so I took her on outings, and out to eat -- she always liked that. I bought her favorite color lipstick and made some pearl jewelry for her. I shopped for her clothes and shoes. She had increasing dementia so I took over everything for her. I gave her the gift of my time and energy. That was what she needed.

We didn't raise our daughter to buy gifts for us, even though we bought lots of gifts for her. For Christmas and birthdays, she would make us beautiful cards, write poems, make drawings etc.-- I treasure those and am very sentimental about them. When she reached middle school, we switched to cash gifts so she could buy what she wanted. We also bought her laptop. While she was in college we covered all her car expenses (except gas), and her phone. Now graduated, she lives at home rent-free as she looks for better paying job that will enable her to move out.

I still buy her gifts, though, and still don't expect anything from her besides hugs! However she sometimes surprises me with little thoughtful gifts. I hope when I am old, she will do for me as I did for my mother, as she is able. But mostly I hope I won't need her to!

Our way wouldn't suit everyone, but we like it. Certainly it helps us not to add to the clutter, and no one's feeling get hurt when unwanted things are donated to Goodwill.
 

diamondseeker2006

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IMO we all should give gifts that recipients prefer to get.
Shouldn't a gift should be more about the recipient than the giver?

But people vary ... so keep giving what the kids prefer to not get, since you know better.
I agree with you for the most part. However, I need to add that this Christmas the gift was a new laptop for each daughter which they both desperately needed (they both do some part time work from home on computers and had old laptops that were not reliable). We normally don't spend that much on a Christmas gift, so a cash gift wouldn't have been that much under normal circumstances. Trust me, they were surprised and extremely happy! (Had I not known a specific need, I wouldn't have done it.)
 

kenny

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Anyone else surprised the Yes responses are in the 90s?
I thought they'd be below 50%.

Screen Shot 2020-01-23 at 1.11.28 PM.png
 

voce

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Anyone else surprised the Yes responses are in the 90s?
I thought they'd be below 50%.

Screen Shot 2020-01-23 at 1.11.28 PM.png
Not I. I think most people would prefer to choose their own gifts instead of getting surprised with something that we don't end up using. Many gift givers intend well, but just don't manage to get us something we want. The best gifts that I've received did not involve a monetary transaction. For those that involve one, the gift givers usually can't choose for us better than we choose for ourselves.
 
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