Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Do you ever feel guilty for coveting so much?

athenaworth

athenaworth

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jun 19, 2010
Messages
3,605
I was trying to figure out ways to make $5k so I could upgrade my setting (again) last night. When I found those crazy websites that promise you money in 2 minutes, there were all sorts of sad stories about people who can barely survive and here I am just trying to get more bling. Now don't get me wrong, I'm still going to find a way to upgrade, but it did make me feel guilty. I know that hanging out on PS so much (it's become an addiction - really) hasn't helped me much, but I wonder if anyone else feels the same way.
 
Screw guilt.

Wanting is natural and stops when you die.
Just don't be a slave to it.
Find a healthy balance, and also "covet" the peace that comes from living within your means.
 
ditto to the words of Kenny
 
Sometimes its the things we want that keep us getting up and going to work everyday. As long as you're not taking money away from family necessities, go for it. Everyone likes the feeling of working and getting something new that they love!
 
Not the least bit.

Kenny said it perfectly.
 
athenaworth said:
I was trying to figure out ways to make $5k so I could upgrade my setting (again) last night. When I found those crazy websites that promise you money in 2 minutes, there were all sorts of sad stories about people who can barely survive and here I am just trying to get more bling. Now don't get me wrong, I'm still going to find a way to upgrade, but it did make me feel guilty. I know that hanging out on PS so much (it's become an addiction - really) hasn't helped me much, but I wonder if anyone else feels the same way.
Click to expand...

Yes, I feel the same way. I need to take breaks from PS to keep my perspective about "what's enough" for me.
 
Its funny I was contemplating this earlier today. I have a post on here somewhere asking will anything ever be enough. It seems lke we're always in searh of an upgrade, a reset, a RHR. I am a Christian, but not a very good one I'm afriad. I think I have been battling with materialism lately. I am considering a break from pricescope, purseforum, ebay and other sites/blogs related to materialism.
 
That's a better way to describe it. I don't feel like a good person when I think about everything I want, want, want, when so many people need, need, need; but I can't stop obsessing. I hate it.
 
I never feel guilty for the things that I want, and I love having a goal :Up_to_something:

What I think is great about your post is that you know you want a $5K setting, but instead of just compulsively whipping out the credit card and buying it, you're thinking of creative ways to make more money and achieve your financial goal. Who knows, maybe you'll find a side project to bring in some money and it can lead to more projects down the road!
 
kenny said:
Screw guilt.

Wanting is natural and stops when you die.
Just don't be a slave to it.
Find a healthy balance, and also "covet" the peace that comes from living within your means.
Click to expand...

Oh wow kenny, really good answer. I totally agree!
 
Yes I do. Often.
 
Not gonna try to justify yet so I'll just say yes, and that's part of why I donate to charity when I can. Is it enough, no probably not. do I need diamonds objectively, no definitely not. Do I feel guilty? Yes. Do I do something about it? Well, I donate to charity every time I buy bling. And during the holidays, and whenever someone has a promotion (grocery store, clothing store...pet store) that supports a cause I feel strongly about. But I gotta tell ya, right or wrong, I donate more to animal charities than anything else. Animals get my money more the people (except children) do. And no, I don't feel guilty about that at all.
 
I admit, that I definitely tend to feel guilty over constantly wanting, wanting, wanting. Especially luxury items such as jewelry, watches and high end handbags.

The economic climate doesn't help matters much. We are constantly being told to save our cash and steer away from excessively accumulating material goods. Pay down debt, save your cash is the constant message. Then we are bombarded with all the terrible stories of people losing their homes, selling their possessions to make ends meet, etc. It all induces mass amounts of guilt within me when I'm worried over how I am going to come up with $3400 to...buy a Chanel Classic Flapbag before Chanel's next price increase! :rolleyes:

However, I love Kenny's outlook. How are we not to want things, whatever they may be? It's part of life and it is human nature. Otherwise, we would be treading water and standing still if we didn't keep wanting. As long as your family is taken care of, there is no harm in acquiring things that make you happy.

Happy Shopping!!
 
Yes

I try to covet as little as I can. Most of my jewellery was given as gifts.

I have dark moments, but I talk diamonds way more than I buy. I don't want that to change in the other direction.
 
It's hard. I've narrowed down the bling I covet to align with my desire to covet living within in my means (and that's no lie; I've had a lot; I've had a little; having a lot will change you a little; have a little, I mean real hard times, and you will never look at life the same way again).

It took a lot of time and thought to do this narrowing down, but it was kind of labor of love.

Still, I can't help looking at things, for instance, a couple things on Harry Winston's site, that I'll never have, but can't help wanting.

My thoughts about this actually have to do with not only what's appropriate and responsible for myself. I have to consider that I'm in a relationship, and have been in one for fifteen years. There is definitely a point at which it would be irresponsible not to draw a line.
 
Yes! I friended the Dali Lama on facebook for guidance on freeing myself from want. I have to constantly tell myself jewelry is not what makes me happy and it is not a substitute for other things that truly matter lacking.
 
kenny said:
Screw guilt.

Wanting is natural and stops when you die.
Just don't be a slave to it.
Find a healthy balance, and also "covet" the peace that comes from living within your means.
Click to expand...
Amen!

I wouldn't say I really covet anything, but even when I do save up to buy something that I think is so beautiful it's worth a lot of money, I don't feel guilty about it.

I'm definitely with Kenny on coveting the peace that comes from living within your means. I can't imagine coveting an object enough that I'd want to rack up debt over it. I'll take debt-free over lots of stuff and credit card bills any day.
 
Not to go all dark and blue here, but I know that I spend money and have material things to fill voids. Doesn't help the situtation either because I constantly justify my expenditures because of that (I think I come by it genetically - my mom wears 2-3 diamond rings on each finger). Another guilt of mine is that I have so much, and DH has so little. He doesn't want material things and says he likes it when I have material things, but there has to be SOMETHING he wants, right?

And I too give to charities (and to my less fortunate friends). Animal charities are my #1 favorite.
 
athenaworth said:
Not to go all dark and blue here, but I know that I spend money and have material things to fill voids. Doesn't help the situtation either because I constantly justify my expenditures because of that (I think I come by it genetically - my mom wears 2-3 diamond rings on each finger). Another guilt of mine is that I have so much, and DH has so little. He doesn't want material things and says he likes it when I have material things, but there has to be SOMETHING he wants, right?

And I too give to charities (and to my less fortunate friends). Animal charities are my #1 favorite.
Click to expand...
It sounds like just being self aware enough to *know* that you spend money to fill voids is a step in the right direction, right?

Your husband may be like me--I like to have experiences over stuff. I'd much rather my husband plan a whole day of things to do together for my birthday than anything else. It's okay to want things, though, I do believe that.
 
I covet but envy is not the deadly sin that holds me back... sloth is probably my #1 followed by gluttony :P
 
athenaworth said:
I was trying to figure out ways to make $5k so I could upgrade my setting (again) last night. When I found those crazy websites that promise you money in 2 minutes, there were all sorts of sad stories about people who can barely survive and here I am just trying to get more bling. Now don't get me wrong, I'm still going to find a way to upgrade, but it did make me feel guilty. I know that hanging out on PS so much (it's become an addiction - really) hasn't helped me much, but I wonder if anyone else feels the same way.
Click to expand...
Regarding those "people who can barely survive":

1. First consider the source of the story. Many times there's a reason your emotional strings are being jerked.
2. Thankfully, we have a lot of social safety nets that we, as taxpayers, pay for. You do your part already as a taxpayer, but you can always give more to the church or to charity.
3. People make their own choices in life. Some of those people have exercised poor judgment. Others have bad habits. You can't feel responsible for those who made their beds poorly.
4. Money isn't always the answer. Sometimes what those people may need is a friend, or rehab, or spirituality, or a divorce.
5. Different people have different standards of what "suffering" is. Someone who is poor, but surrounded by their children and family, may not feel a lack for anything.
6. The US is a great country where, if you work hard, you can make something of yourself. I'm highly suspicious of a healthy individual who plays the victim and, in the meantime, games the system.

For me, I think about a particular blingy bauble as a choice with opportunity costs. Like, would I rather have a new bracelet, or put that money away for my daughter's education. Is there something else you would rather spend $5K on? If there's nothing else you would rather do with the money, certainly don't feel guilty - upgrade! It will make you very happy.

And regarding PS - this is such a happy place for so many people. Folks are buying diamonds to get married, to celebrate, to mark a milestone or accomplishment, to commemorate a birth, etc. To me, it's such a delight to be able to help someone and share their joy. I try to not get caught up in the materialism. I take a break if that begins to happen.
 
There are times where I become overwhelmed with thoughts of what I want, to the extent that I feel it's unhealthy. It's a fine line, I think, between the healthy desire that motivates me and an obsession with just having more. When I reach that point, I just have to take a step back, which usually does involve does spending less time on the internet.
 
Fortunately I seem to have very expensive taste which prohibits me from doing much damage since I won't pay for the things I really love!

Seriously, though, I have had to do a reality check many, many times. People in my real life simply do not have the kind of jewelry we see on here. I still consider trading for a smaller diamond and would have made a different choice if I could turn the clock back. I do feel some guilt because of my beliefs (like Sizzle).
 
I used to, but Kenny just changed my perspective :tongue:
 
No, because it's all in perspective for me.

I know I want A,B and C (and D and oh yeah, E F and G as well). That's when I rein myself in and say "You can have one." And then I save for it. I squirrel the money away from places that don't take away from what goes into the family pot (usually my weekly latte budget and from my own paycheck). It's fun to get creative. Making coffees at home, or walking to the market instead of burning gas in the car are choices I can justify as a means to save for an item of jewelry.

It's human nature to want, but it's very tricky to deny yourself. I think you're going about it the right way. As long as my choices aren't hurting anyone, it's my business.
 
i definitely do not feel guilty. you only live once-- why not work hard and spend your hard earned money to get the things that you want?!
 
oranges said:
i definitely do not feel guilty. you only live once-- why not work hard and spend your hard earned money to get the things that you want?!
Click to expand...


This.
 
Oh boy, do I EVAH!

I've been unemploye for 2 years--need I say more.....
 
I can't wait to get my hands on a couple things I've been coveting and I'm not going to feel guilty about it.

I'm not going to let other people's envy and judgment cloud my judgment either.

I'm older and wiser and this time I'm going to enjoy it.
 
Guilt over wanting and buying nice things is the heartburn of life. Don't give in to it and let it steal your joy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top