Do you comment when someone loses weight?

[kenny]

I don't comment when people lose or gain weight.
I don't say anything either way.

Many of us go up and down in weight. I do.
It seems that celebrating when they lose weight would make them feeling worse if/when they gain it back.

BTW, I'm obviously talking about people who's weight varies from normal to above normal, which is the group many if not most of us fit into.

 

[Haven]

Noooooo. I would never.

 

[Lauren8211]

If I know they''re actively trying to lose weight and working hard, then yes.

If I just "notice" a weight loss, then no.

I''ve had weight losses due to really awful situations, and it would make me feel bad when people said "You look great! You lost weight" because in fact, the situation was NOT healthy.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

No. By doing so, it implies you noticed they before carried extra weight.

 

[elrohwen]

Ditto Elle. If I know someone has been working hard at it, I''ll definitely compliment them if I notice! If I just happen to notice it, then no, I don''t comment.

 

[meresal]

If it is a guy I am friends with, then yes. Guys always see the positive in a compliment. My BFF's boyfriend got a coaching job and when I saw him next he must have dropped at least 10 lbs... I said something to her about it and he overheard and was literally beaming that I had noticed.

If it is a woman, then I will say something if they are 1) very close to me, AND 2) I know that they are actively working at it.


Maybe it is different if you hear it from the opposite sex?

 

[Bia]

I do, yes. But only if it is someone I am relatively close to. If it''s an acquaintance, then only if I know they are actively trying to lose weight.

 

[Shoopy]

I''m going against what most have said. As someone who is overweight (80lbs over ideal weight to be exact) and is trying very hard to lose weight, I absolutely LOVE when people tell me I look thinner. It doesn''t make me feel bad if I gain it back, it has the opposite effect on me. It makes me push to work harder.

 

[kenny]

I have a close friend.
She is always commenting on how her son is too fat.
I tell her it is none of her business (he's over 50).
She disagrees.

I suspect her perspective is if you love some one you care, so you try to help them do what's good for them.

 

[Lauren8211]

Personally, I hate when anyone comments on my weight, period.

It makes me extremely self-conscious, and causes serious anxiety.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:00:57 PM
Author: fiery
I''m going against what most have said. As someone who is overweight (80lbs over ideal weight to be exact) and is trying very hard to lose weight, I absolutely LOVE when people tell me I look thinner. It doesn''t make me feel bad if I gain it back, it has the opposite effect on me. It makes me push to work harder.

I feel the same.

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:03:04 PM
Author: kenny
I have a close friend.
She is always commenting on how her son is too fat.
I tell her it is none of her business.
She disagrees.

Most moms I know would think it was their business. Particularly if their child was very overweight.

It''s annoying, I''m sure, but I think moms just want their children to be healthy and happy.

 

[tlh]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:04:06 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Personally, I hate when anyone comments on my weight, period.

It makes me extremely self-conscious, and causes serious anxiety.

I agree completely.

Plus I have a little kid cheeks. Not as bad as they used to be - but I have to be pretty flipping skinny to not have my rounded face. It is the place I gain weight first. So unfortunately, when I get compliments, it is when I''m at an unhealthy weight... and usually not because of an active diet or my active lifestyle, but usually an illness and I have no idea how to respond to THAT... because as soon as I''m healthy again, face plumps back up again.

Sure can give a person a fat complex.

 

[kenny]

Thanks Bia.
Sorry, but I forgot to mention that her son is over 50.

I edited my post.

 

[Octavia]

Only if it's a close friend, I know the person has been actively trying to lose weight, and they bring up the subject first. For example, a good friend of mine mentioned that she had to replace all her pants because they were now too big, so I said I'd noticed that her dedication in going to the gym was paying off and she looked great. I would never bring it up spontaneously, though.

 

[meresal]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:09:13 PM
Author: tlh

Date: 12/15/2009 4:04:06 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Personally, I hate when anyone comments on my weight, period.

It makes me extremely self-conscious, and causes serious anxiety.

I agree completely.

Plus I have a little kid cheeks. Not as bad as they used to be - but I have to be pretty flipping skinny to not have my rounded face. It is the place I gain weight first. So unfortunately, when I get compliments, it is when I'm at an unhealthy weight... and usually not because of an active diet or my active lifestyle, but usually an illness and I have no idea how to respond to THAT... because as soon as I'm healthy again, face plumps back up again.

Sure can give a person a fat complex.

This and any other possible illness, is why I won't really say anything unless I know that someone is actively trying to lose weight, or has mentioned that they are trying to diet.

However, if someone is already small and is trying to lose weight that they don't need to lose, usually for attention, I purposely don't comment. Does that make me a bad person? (None of my close friends obviously, or else I would say something about possibly having an eating disorder.)

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:14:47 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/15/2009 4:09:13 PM
Author: tlh

Date: 12/15/2009 4:04:06 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Personally, I hate when anyone comments on my weight, period.

It makes me extremely self-conscious, and causes serious anxiety.

I agree completely.

Plus I have a little kid cheeks. Not as bad as they used to be - but I have to be pretty flipping skinny to not have my rounded face. It is the place I gain weight first. So unfortunately, when I get compliments, it is when I''m at an unhealthy weight... and usually not because of an active diet or my active lifestyle, but usually an illness and I have no idea how to respond to THAT... because as soon as I''m healthy again, face plumps back up again.

Sure can give a person a fat complex.

This and any other possible illness, is why I won''t really say anything unless I know that someone is actively trying to lose weight, or has mentioned that they are trying to diet.

However, if someone is already small and is trying to lose weight that they don''t need to lose, usually for attention, I purposely don''t comment. Does that make me a bad person?

HA.

If it does, you''re not alone.

 

[kenny]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:14:47 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/15/2009 4:09:13 PM
Author: tlh

Date: 12/15/2009 4:04:06 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Personally, I hate when anyone comments on my weight, period.
It makes me extremely self-conscious, and causes serious anxiety.

I agree completely.
Plus I have a little kid cheeks. Not as bad as they used to be - but I have to be pretty flipping skinny to not have my rounded face. It is the place I gain weight first. So unfortunately, when I get compliments, it is when I''m at an unhealthy weight... and usually not because of an active diet or my active lifestyle, but usually an illness and I have no idea how to respond to THAT... because as soon as I''m healthy again, face plumps back up again.
Sure can give a person a fat complex.

This and any other possible illness, is why I won''t really say anything unless I know that someone is actively trying to lose weight, or has mentioned that they are trying to diet.
However, if someone is already small and is trying to lose weight that they don''t need to lose, usually for attention, I purposely don''t comment. Does that make me a bad person?

No, of course not meresal.
That doesn''t make you a bad person; it''s everything else.

Just kidding.

 

[meresal]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:17:45 PM
Author: kenny

Date: 12/15/2009 4:14:47 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/15/2009 4:09:13 PM
Author: tlh

Date: 12/15/2009 4:04:06 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Personally, I hate when anyone comments on my weight, period.
It makes me extremely self-conscious, and causes serious anxiety.

I agree completely.
Plus I have a little kid cheeks. Not as bad as they used to be - but I have to be pretty flipping skinny to not have my rounded face. It is the place I gain weight first. So unfortunately, when I get compliments, it is when I''m at an unhealthy weight... and usually not because of an active diet or my active lifestyle, but usually an illness and I have no idea how to respond to THAT... because as soon as I''m healthy again, face plumps back up again.
Sure can give a person a fat complex.

This and any other possible illness, is why I won''t really say anything unless I know that someone is actively trying to lose weight, or has mentioned that they are trying to diet.
However, if someone is already small and is trying to lose weight that they don''t need to lose, usually for attention, I purposely don''t comment. Does that make me a bad person?

No, of course not meresal.
That doesn''t make you a bad person; it''s everything else.

Just kidding.

I don''t do much worse than that, so I think I''m pretty safe...

Ohh, unless mocking the people that run to news camers in order to get on tv is bad, and then, yes, I am bad.

 

[somethingshiny]

If someone is trying to lose weight and I can tell, I definitely say something.

I do not say anything if I don''t know it was in the plans. You never know if they''re sick or losing in an unhealthful way or if they''re depressed because they''re SO just left. So , best to leave it alone.

 

[elrohwen]

I think worse than people commenting on me losing weight is people commenting negatively when I''m trying to lose weight (or just not eat junk food). It ticks me off when people say "Oh, you''re so skinny! You don''t need to lose weight! Have a piece of birthday cake." Uhh, I might not be really overweight, but I just gained a few pounds and would like to lose them again, thankyouverymuch. And I''m certainly not a stick figure either.

When someone comments that I''ve lost weight and look good, I take the compliment and am flattered, even if I haven''t actually lost any weight. I figure they''re just saying I look very good that day

 

[Bia]

I wouldn't necessarily mind if someone noticed I lost weight (Im currently - well still

- trying to drop 15lbs) but I do mind when people say, 'You look tired.'

Just tell me I look like hell, because that's basically what you're saying

 

[Shoopy]

I remember once in the elevator a woman that I had seen randomly in the building but never interacted with asked me if I had lost weight because she thought I looked great. I had never spoken to her or even mention to anyone at work that I am trying to lose weight. And at that particular moment I wasn''t doing much to lose weight except drink more water and watch what I eat at night. It made my day.

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:38:57 PM
Author: fiery
I remember once in the elevator a woman that I had seen randomly in the building but never interacted with asked me if I had lost weight because she thought I looked great. I had never spoken to her or even mention to anyone at work that I am trying to lose weight. And at that particular moment I wasn''t doing much to lose weight except drink more water and watch what I eat at night. It made my day.

speaking of ''weight,'' I found a piece of chocolate in my bag...that made MY day!

I shouldn''t eat it, but I will

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:38:36 PM
Author: Bia
I wouldn''t necessarily mind if someone noticed I lost weight (Im currently - well still

- trying to drop 15lbs) but I do mind when people say, ''You look tired.''

Just tell me I look like hell, because that''s basically what you''re saying

GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:38:36 PM
Author: Bia
I wouldn''t necessarily mind if someone noticed I lost weight (Im currently - well still

- trying to drop 15lbs) but I do mind when people say, ''You look tired.''

Just tell me I look like hell, because that''s basically what you''re saying

Ditto. It''s especially bad when you''re not tired at all and feel great!

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:38:36 PM
Author: Bia
I wouldn''t necessarily mind if someone noticed I lost weight (Im currently - well still

- trying to drop 15lbs) but I do mind when people say, ''You look tired.''

Just tell me I look like hell, because that''s basically what you''re saying

Had this exact conversation with someone today. He passed by and said hello followed by "you look tired."

I said thank you.

He said "is bored a better term?"

I said "I understand why you are still single."

 

[Lilac]

If I know someone is *trying* to lose weight, then I''ll comment/compliment when I notice a difference. Otherwise, I would never say anything because it might imply that they were heavy before and I wouldn''t want to take the chance on making anyone feel bad.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:45:23 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 12/15/2009 4:38:36 PM
Author: Bia
I wouldn''t necessarily mind if someone noticed I lost weight (Im currently - well still

- trying to drop 15lbs) but I do mind when people say, ''You look tired.''

Just tell me I look like hell, because that''s basically what you''re saying

Had this exact conversation with someone today. He passed by and said hello followed by ''you look tired.''

I said thank you.

He said ''is bored a better term?''

I said ''I understand why you are still single.''

LOL.

Fiery, I don''t know what happened since you had that adorable little girl, but you do NOT take crap anymore!

I LOVE IT!

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 12/15/2009 4:47:31 PM
Author: elledizzy5

LOL.

Fiery, I don''t know what happened since you had that adorable little girl, but you do NOT take crap anymore!

I LOVE IT!

It''s cause I''m tired.

LOLz