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Do you care about rings being tainted by divorce, etc?

pearaffair

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
3,259
When buying pre-loved or pre-owned... do you care about "bad ju-ju"?

I'm trying to decide if I care... and I'd love to know your thoughts!
 

ac117

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Apr 28, 2014
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3,809
I think for my first or main engagement ring I would care...only for the sentimental nature of it. But a stone for any other piece of jewelry I really wouldn't care at all. I also think about all of these true antique cuts...we don't know anything about them or their history and plenty of people have them with no bad ju ju!
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 11, 2011
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5,529
Nope. I don't give a single thought to it. I don't believe "ju ju" sticks to objects... I think it stays with the people who caused it:
 

marymm

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 21, 2010
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4,351
distracts|1475872496|4084559 said:
Nope. I don't give a single thought to it. I don't believe "ju ju" sticks to objects... I think it stays with the people who caused it:
100% agree.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Dec 17, 2008
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22,700
marymm|1475872606|4084561 said:
distracts|1475872496|4084559 said:
Nope. I don't give a single thought to it. I don't believe "ju ju" sticks to objects... I think it stays with the people who caused it:
100% agree.

Ditto...their bad ju ju is not my bad ju ju. What am I saying??? I dont even believe in ju ju. Now karma, that's a different subject! :lol:
 

newjourney

Rough_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2015
Messages
72
It's not so much about superstition as it is about the symbolism to me. It doesn't matter whether the ring had been through a divorce or blissful events. Prefer to start fresh if I could help it, specifically for an e-ring.
 

maccers

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 19, 2012
Messages
1,166
Nope, I don't care.

My e-ring stone is an OEC pulled from a 1920s setting, I have no idea how that relationship may have ended and I certainly don't worry about it.
 

PintoBean

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 27, 2011
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6,583
when we first got engaged 7 years ago, I would have cared. I think it was an age and (im)maturity thing on my part. Now, I'm like, whatever - best bang for the buck. I'll burn some sage or something, dunk it in holy water, steam it, whatevs...
 

iwantsparkle

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 25, 2016
Messages
308
No. I am not engaged yet (waiting on the setting to be made and a proposal to be offered) but I chose an OEC that is likely close to 100 years old. Lots probably happened during that time - and while I hope my stone has a sweet story tied to it, I know that it could very well have had a sad past. Or at least peaks and valleys.

I find old stones to be charming and that's enough for me. I don't worry about bad juju or it carrying negative energy.

I was married once before, and I held onto the stone not for sentimental reasons so much as financial ones. I don't want to part with something for far less than what was paid for it. If I keep the stone 50 years I can maybe make some money. :D

For me personally, I would not pass up a beautiful house, ring, car, or what have you because someone else couldn't make a relationship work.
 

JLW05

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2012
Messages
587
Not at all. When my husband purchased the diamond for my engagement ring, I thought it was new. However, the appraiser told us that there were signs that it was a "pre-loved" diamond (bearded girdle, etc.). I never worried about bad karma possibly being associated with the diamond. By the way, we recently celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary and I am still wearing my engagement ring!
 

motownmama

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 9, 2008
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7,719
I'm with the prevailing sentiment here. If it's an antique it wouldn't cross my mind; a modern stone,I think it would bother me - same if it had been used by a BF in a past/incomplete engagement.
 

iwantsparkle

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 25, 2016
Messages
308
motownmama|1475876217|4084583 said:
I'm with the prevailing sentiment here. If it's an antique it wouldn't cross my mind; a modern stone,I think it would bother me - same if it had been used by a BF in a past/incomplete engagement.
Me, too, to the bolded part. I would actually be quite upset if I got a ring that was originally chosen for someone else. I would find it to be a completely different scenario than the selection of some other pre-loved ring finding it's way to me.
 

Bonfire

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 22, 2014
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3,419
I'm not superstitious. There is no "taint" on the diamond IMO. I wouldn't give it a second thought.
 

ponder

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 5, 2009
Messages
743
iwantsparkle|1475876962|4084587 said:
motownmama|1475876217|4084583 said:
I'm with the prevailing sentiment here. If it's an antique it wouldn't cross my mind; a modern stone,I think it would bother me - same if it had been used by a BF in a past/incomplete engagement.
Me, too, to the bolded part. I would actually be quite upset if I got a ring that was originally chosen for someone else. I would find it to be a completely different scenario than the selection of some other pre-loved ring finding it's way to me.
I was going to say that nothing would bother me, but this is a valid point. I wouldn't appreciate a gift from my SO/FI/DH that was purchased for a previous FI/GF/wife.
 

ennui

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 28, 2014
Messages
995
As long as it's not personal (leftovers are out!), it would not bother me. Besides, you can get some great deals on jewelry that people no longer want. Their misfortune can be your good fortune.
 

arkieb1

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
May 11, 2012
Messages
9,688
Someone else's probably not, if it was something I owned that someone had given me that I had a really bad relationship with and there were associated negative feelings that went wit it then I probably wouldn't wear that piece.
 

ppuff211

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
57
I've always wondered.. What happens to diamonds that get traded in/upgraded? Don't the jewelers just re-sell them? And do they sell them as new stones?
 

canuk-gal

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Apr 19, 2004
Messages
21,279
HI:

Well, history. Is biased. Make of it what you will.

cheers--Sharon
 

baby monster

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 2, 2007
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3,631
I wouldn't care. The only bad ju-ju I'd worry about is owning an important stone that others want to steal from you killing you in the process. I'm not in that category.

ppuff211|1475884855|4084605 said:
I've always wondered.. What happens to diamonds that get traded in/upgraded? Don't the jewelers just re-sell them? And do they sell them as new stones?
Sometimes stones get polished and re-papered. Sometimes they get resold as-is. I was told that my old studs went to a new owner the same day I traded them in for bigger ones.
 

LadyMCh

Shiny_Rock
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Jun 30, 2016
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318
ennui|1475882893|4084599 said:
As long as it's not personal (leftovers are out!), it would not bother me. Besides, you can get some great deals on jewelry that people no longer want. Their misfortune can be your good fortune.
THIS. My original e-ring stone is an early modern brilliant that we got from an estate jeweler for a steal of a deal. First of all, there is no way anyone can prove definitively that they own a stone that no one else has ever owned or tried on or picked out or put on hold. And, even if they could, that stone has passed through innumerable hands before it adorned the recipients hand. I don't believe in bad ju ju, but if you do, wouldn't you consider that any and all diamonds could pick up bad ju ju anywhere on their way to you? Not just from a previous owner? No, rings/diamonds are inanimate objects that can be symbolic adornments. Any possible negative outcome was of a relationship they once symbolized is not the ring/diamond's fault or burden. If anyone has any "tainted" diamonds they no longer want due to "bad juju", please contact me ASAP, and I will suffer to take them off your hands.
 

pixgirl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 30, 2010
Messages
242
I used my grandmother's wedding band. She and my grandfather divorced in 1949. I have been happily married for nearly 38 years. So I say no.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
29,147
Except for a few vendors, there is no way to be certain of the history of a new diamond.
Crafted by Infinity is the only diamond vendor I know of that will give you the provenance of your diamond.
I'd love to hear about others.

Nobody throws diamonds away after a divorce or death.
Lots of those get sold.
If needed they get a touch up polish if needed and a new report.
Then they reenter the inventory.
Mum's the word. :silenced:

So, since I understand new diamonds can be virgins or used I don't care which they are.
Some of the gold in our jewelry may have been in the dental work of victims of the Holocaust.
They don't throw away gold either just because it has a history.

Things are the way they are.
I see no point in pretending.
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
distracts|1475872496|4084559 said:
Nope. I don't give a single thought to it. I don't believe "ju ju" sticks to objects... I think it stays with the people who caused it:
Ditto. My wedding band is pre-owned.
 

SparkleyCarats

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 7, 2016
Messages
10
I do not have any pre-owned wedding rings, but it would not bother me at all if I did. Jewelry is a beautiful thing. If it is no longer worn by someone for whatever reason, it should be passed to another or sold so it can be enjoyed by someone new. However, had my husband attempted to give me a wedding ring from his previous marriage, that would have been a whole nother can of worms. lol
 

RaiKai

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
1,255
Nope, I do not at all. I don't believe in ju-ju or that "bad" things can stick to objects.

Actually, one of the things I love about my antique or vintage pieces (or even just buying some things secondhand) is the mystery - I have no idea what happened to their owners, their marriages, good or bad, and I am okay with the intrigue.

Honestly, even at the more extreme end and entirely hypothetically speaking since this did not happen but even if my husband had been like "hey, I have this gorgeous diamond I bought for my ex already, do you want it?" I would have happily set it and worn it.
 

madelise

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
5,293
No. "new" diamonds from the store could've been a trade in or a recut too, from a divorce. You never know. So who cares?! IMO, if you aren't confident enough in your own relationship to know your marriage will be successful, a "new diamond" won't change a thing about the surmise of your marriage.
 

acaw2015

Brilliant_Rock
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Joined
Jun 30, 2015
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795
Ok I see I am going against the general opinion here... *but* I have enough of a negative feeling of bad "juju" to not appreciate "used" rings. Buying an old ring, used by a stranger, would feel like wearing someone elses stuff. Bying a loose stone is a different matter because it is a thing not designed to be worn by someone in particular, I would have no problem with that. It is also different re other jewelry. I would possibly consider buying a used pendant for instance, but it would have to be a very special piece. I know, I am not even consistent. This is all based on feelings, not reason.
 

rockysalamander

Ideal_Rock
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May 20, 2016
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5,022
Post by PintoBean » 07 Oct 2016 15:02
when we first got engaged 7 years ago, I would have cared. I think it was an age and (im)maturity thing on my part. Now, I'm like, whatever - best bang for the buck. I'll burn some sage or something, dunk it in holy water, steam it, whatevs...

That's my belief exactly. If you go down the juju path, where does it end? What if the person forming the metal was a SOB, what if the diamond setter was grieving over a ill family member? What if the polisher just lost their favorite cat? What if the delivery drive just ran over a squirrel? Does all that stay with the jewelry?
 

aac2013

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
416
Honestly, I might feel a little weird having an engagement ring that my intended bought for his ex....but that would be more about a personal feeling of awkwardness rather than bad juju, to which I don't subscribe. Other than that, I would have no problem with an engagement ring or stone that was pre loved. I adore such pieces and find myself drawn to estate jewelry more frequently than new jewelry.
 
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