Do people not send thank you cards anymore?

[ladypirate]

I was listening to the radio the other day and they had a segment on thank you cards. One of the hosts was saying that he thought it was a good idea to get kids in the habit of writing them and a bunch of people called & wrote in to say that it was outdated and no one sent thank you cards anymore!

Is this true? I always send thank you cards and appreciate it when others do, too. There have been a couple of weddings that we''ve gone to in the last year and a half where we never got thank-you cards (or calls, or in-person thanks) for our gift and I do admit that I thought it was rude.

My personal thought is that the people calling into the radio show were just trying to justify their own rude behavior by saying that it''s acceptable in today''s society. What do you think? Is society actually turning ruder? Am I way overthinking this?

 

[princesss]

You might be over-thinking it.

But I think the show hosts are rude.

Basically, I prefer thanking somebody in person, or calling them to thank them. But if I''m not going to see them and it''s not somebody that I call regularly, I send a card. (BF''s grandmother, for example.) Mostly I have terrible handwriting, so I prefer not to send a card. But there are some circumstances, like a wedding, where I feel cards are the proper way to go.

 

[Tuckins1]

I always send thank you cards for wedding/shower/etc... For birthday, I either thank them in person, or call them to thank them.

 

[trillionaire]

I just sent out a round of Thank you cards after the holidays

I am a stickler on Thank You Cards for Hospitality! I am not so great about them for birthday gifts. I think not sending wedding thank you cards is tacky. My southern friends are all very oriented towards thank you cards, my CA friends seemed to be baffled by the idea of them.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 1/15/2009 6:08:09 PM
Author:ladypirate
My personal thought is that the people calling into the radio show were just trying to justify their own rude behavior by saying that it's acceptable in today's society.

I'd tend to agree. I send them and appreciate them when I get them!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

ehhh, this post reminds me that my kids still need to send out their thank you cards for holiday gifts!

lol I use to be so good about sending them out, but for some reason have become flakey these last few years. We DID send cards to all the kids who gave gifts at the boys'' party and most of the parents send them in return, which is nice! Also, it''s fun to get pictures from the party.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I always send thank you cards for gifts given during showers/ b-day parties. I do tend to forget for the random gifts. I was better before I had a kid.

 

[AmberGretchen]

I definitely write them unless I am going to be able to thank the person face to face or call them to say thank you, and sometimes even then - I was just raised to do it, and I''ve always considered it good manners.

 

[blackpolkadot]

I always thank a person, either verbally or written. IMO it''s rude not to, especially for shower or wedding gifts. In the past 8 months, I have sent gifts to two couples for their weddings. I have yet to receive a thank you! I find it quite rude not to acknowledge that they received the gifts (and I know they did.)

 

[bebe]

Date: 1/15/2009 7:01:40 PM
Author: blackpolkadot
I always thank a person, either verbally or written. IMO it''s rude not to, especially for shower or wedding gifts. In the past 8 months, I have sent gifts to two couples for their weddings. I have yet to receive a thank you! I find it quite rude not to acknowledge that they received the gifts (and I know they did.)

We gave a large wedding gift to my DH''s nephew. We have never received a thank you for that or the very generous Christmas gift they got from us.
I''ve thought about asking the groom''s mother if they got it, because I was worried since the wedding gift was sent to the brides mom''s house.

 

[jcrow]

i still send hand written thank you cards. regularly.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I send thank you cards, and my oldest child does as well. My other two children are still too young and cannot write, but once they are old enough I will teach them as well.

 

[musey]

I rarely sent thank-you cards until I started planning a wedding (though to be honest, I didn''t really have occasion to). Now that I''ve learned about it, it''s just fun! I love the feeling I get when I get "real" mail, so I like to give others that feeling

 

[EricaR]

I send them all the time, but I think part of that comes from me making my own cards and wanting to use them. If I didn''t send them out I''m sure someone would find me in my apartment, dead under a sea of homemade greeting cards.

 

[Kaleigh]

I always write a thank you note. My yound adult children do too. They think it''s rude not to....

 

[Sparkalicious]

Ladypirate - I do send Thank You cards still as well and love doing it!

I send them not only because I think that it is appropriate but b/c I really appreciate it when people extend the same courtesy to me. I have found that, of late, people are not sending out thank you cards after weddings, for example, let alone anything else!

Over the past 5 or so years I think that we maybe have received 2 or 3 thank you cards for wedding gifts and for the other weddings we have attended, we have neither received a thank you card nor acknowledgement for gifts that were received. I find it to be rude as well and think that we would all do better to be a little more conscientious and mindful of what some might deem traditional or "old-school" courtesies.

 

[MishB]

My ''inner circle'' often send thank you cards after dinner parties, special events etc, but I wouldn''t expect it from others for just a gift given.

However, the last couple of weddings I went too, we haven''t received a thank you card either. This worries me a little as I always wonder whether they didn''t receive our gift. These last two gifts were contributions towards a honeymoon fund, and a gift voucher (both specific requests by the couple), and have made me worry that the card fell down the back of the table, or was separated from the ''voucher'', and the reason we didn''t get a thank you is that they thought we didn''t give a gift. I thought it was inappropriate to ask ''did you get our gift??'' so just didn''t say anything.

 

[KimberlyH]

I think sending thank you cards is a lost art, right up there with writing letters. I still write thank you cards, it''s important to me to express gratitude in a formal way.

 

[Rubie2sDay]

Situation: A high school friend of mine contacted me via facebook a few weeks ago. We were very close in HS and shortly after we graduated until she moved to North Carolina. A few years after her move, she sent me a wedding invitation and although I was not able to attend her wedding due to a scheduling conflict, I sent her a beautiful gift. I never received a thank you note and she moved so I was unable to contact her after the wedding. I was thrilled when she contacted me via facebook!

Question: Should I mention the fact that she never sent a thank you note or should I be a bit nicer and just ask "Hey, I never got to ask you if you ever received the wedding gift I sent you"??

 

[sammyj]

I usually just send a thank you email however if it''s something really special or important to me, then I''ll send a card. I actually just dropped off a card today for the jeweller who made my e-ring!

 

[bebe]

I send them and constantly remind my grown up kids to do the same.

Last fall I sent a rather expensive wedding gift to my husband''s nephew, never heard one peep.
Hope they got it!

 

[beach]

Date: 3/6/2009 1:31:55 PM
Author: Rubie2sDay
Situation: A high school friend of mine contacted me via facebook a few weeks ago. We were very close in HS and shortly after we graduated until she moved to North Carolina. A few years after her move, she sent me a wedding invitation and although I was not able to attend her wedding due to a scheduling conflict, I sent her a beautiful gift. I never received a thank you note and she moved so I was unable to contact her after the wedding. I was thrilled when she contacted me via facebook!

Question: Should I mention the fact that she never sent a thank you note or should I be a bit nicer and just ask ''Hey, I never got to ask you if you ever received the wedding gift I sent you''??

I would ask if she received the gift. Not sending a thank you card is rude.

 

[tlh]

I was forced to write thank you notes as a child. This stuck with me. I still regularly write them. I am the only one in my social circle that does. It has been commented upon, at how nice it is... it unfortunately is something that I do agree is becoming outdated because people think picking up the phone is the same thing. I disagree... just my .02

The only people I get thank yous from are newlyweds and my mother.... no one else writes them... and I REGULARLY give gifts. It is honestly, a shame, because a card is sooo much better than a call - as it takes more time IMHO.

 

[tlh]

Date: 3/6/2009 1:31:55 PM
Author: Rubie2sDay
Situation: A high school friend of mine contacted me via facebook a few weeks ago. We were very close in HS and shortly after we graduated until she moved to North Carolina. A few years after her move, she sent me a wedding invitation and although I was not able to attend her wedding due to a scheduling conflict, I sent her a beautiful gift. I never received a thank you note and she moved so I was unable to contact her after the wedding. I was thrilled when she contacted me via facebook!

Question: Should I mention the fact that she never sent a thank you note or should I be a bit nicer and just ask ''Hey, I never got to ask you if you ever received the wedding gift I sent you''??

This happened to me once, I called them and asked if they received the gift... they just didn''t get around to write thank yous/// and another I knew they received the gift... because they cashed the check... but they never said thank you... a call or a letter.

I remember these things... VERY VERY WELL.

 

[icekid]

Date: 1/15/2009 7:16:13 PM
Author: bebe

Date: 1/15/2009 7:01:40 PM
Author: blackpolkadot
I always thank a person, either verbally or written. IMO it''s rude not to, especially for shower or wedding gifts. In the past 8 months, I have sent gifts to two couples for their weddings. I have yet to receive a thank you! I find it quite rude not to acknowledge that they received the gifts (and I know they did.)

We gave a large wedding gift to my DH''s nephew. We have never received a thank you for that or the very generous Christmas gift they got from us.
I''ve thought about asking the groom''s mother if they got it, because I was worried since the wedding gift was sent to the brides mom''s house.

I always send thank you cards, as well! And when I don''t receive them, especially for gifts sent through the mail such as weddings, it makes me wonder if the person received my gift. But then I feel sort of rude asking to make sure they received it, since it might come off as pointing out that they did not thank me.

 

[niccia]

I always send thank you cards, as well. I think it is the polite thing to do and it''s fun to receive little things like that in the mail. I went to a wedding recently (travelled across the country for it) and my gift was a fairly substantial contribution to the couple''s honeymoon . I never heard a word of thanks which I think is incredibly rude.

 

[violet02]

I got into the habit after my wedding as well. And I love doing it. I really think people like the personal touch. I love it when people send me thank you cards now in the mail. It''s so nice. I hope more people get in the habit of doing it again.

 

[Lulie]

I always send them, never via Email as they tend to get spamed, read by the wrong person, etc....I love the personal touch.

 

[rainydaze]

i was taught that if someone took the time to do something nice for you, you take the time to show your appreciation. i still write thank you cards and have been teaching my children to as well. i notice when people do not send one for gifts i have sent/given... sometimes it is the only way i would know they got the gift, and the thought that they didn''t like it or didn''t appreciate it crosses my mind when there is no acknowledgement/thank you. my FSIL just sent me a thank you email for a card we sent them... i was impressed and it made me feel good!

we leave something for the mailman at xmas, and he always follows up with a hand-written thank you. i can''t imagine how long it must take him to write thank-yous as i assume many on his route do something for him. i really appreciate it though, because i like to know he got it personally (vs. i put it out on a day the temp carrier took his route, and that person did not give it to our regular).

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I always send thank you cards to family friends, relatives, etc for birthday gifts and holidays. For my college friends, no. Part of that is that I usually open the gift in front of them, and I guess the other deal is that none of us know one another''s addresses. I think my friends would find it odd if I sent them.

However, after I''m out of the college scene, I think I''ll be more likely to mail my peers thank you notes as well.