Do I Send a Sympathy Card this late?

[monarch64]

Hey dear PSr''s...I am unsure what to do in this situation. I mailed a Christmas card to a very old and dear friend of mine whom I haven''t spoken to in a year or so. I received a card back in the mail yesterday from her longtime companion stating that she died back in June this year and that he thought all of her friends knew. Do I go ahead and send a sympathy card this long after she passed? I am not thinking through this clearly because the news is very devastating to me. She was like a second mother to me at a time in my life when I needed guidance and had rebelled against my own mother, and it meant the world to me that she cared so much about me. I hadn''t spoken to her for a year because I didn''t want to make her sad that my marriage wasn''t working out. I really regret that now.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this matter!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 12/23/2008 3:17:21 PM
Author:monarch64
Hey dear PSr''s...I am unsure what to do in this situation. I mailed a Christmas card to a very old and dear friend of mine whom I haven''t spoken to in a year or so. I received a card back in the mail yesterday from her longtime companion stating that she died back in June this year and that he thought all of her friends knew. Do I go ahead and send a sympathy card this long after she passed? I am not thinking through this clearly because the news is very devastating to me. She was like a second mother to me at a time in my life when I needed guidance and had rebelled against my own mother, and it meant the world to me that she cared so much about me. I hadn''t spoken to her for a year because I didn''t want to make her sad that my marriage wasn''t working out. I really regret that now.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this matter!

Monnie, rather than a card, I would write a letter to her companion saying how much she meant to you and what precious memories of her you will carry with you always.

Hugs to you dear and happy holidays!

 

[DiamanteBlu]

Hugs!

I agree with Lorelei. Great suggestion!

 

[monarch64]

That is a great idea, I will do that. I have some really nice stories of her kindness I would like to relate to him, do you think that would be appropriate and/or appreciated? I never met him (her companion) but I think he might like to hear about a couple of the things she did for me.

 

[FrekeChild]

I'm with Lorelei. I think that would be very nice to receive. ETA: Yes, I think he would appreciate hearing nice things about her. I liked to hear things about my mom when relatives got up to talk about her at her services. It made me realize that I wasn't the only one hurting from losing her.

 

[somethingshiny]

Monnie~ What horrible news. I agree with Lorelei, I think a letter is perfect. I would relate to him anything that you want to. It''s never upsetting to hear good memories of those we loved.

 

[mommy2iz]

absolutely! i think he''d enjoy "hearing" how his loved one touched your life, and would likely be somewhat cathartic for you as well. i''m sorry for your loss.

 

[snlee]

I think Lorelei''s suggestion is great. I''m sorry for your loss.

 

[monarch64]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Freke, it''s good to see you posting again...hugs, my friend.

I''m still a firm believer in the saying "everything happens for a reason." She died exactly 10 days after I made the decision to leave my marriage, 8 days after I actually left. I think if I had found out back in June I might have gone off the deep end.

I will definitely write a letter over the next few days and send it to him. Thanks again.

 

[Judah Gutwein]

I''m so sorry for your loss.

I say better late than never...

Regardless of the time discrepancy, your words of comfort and with your own "stamp" and unique perspective, will be extremely comforting and much appreciated, I''m sure.

It will also help you get some closure too...

Best,

 

[musey]

I would also go the letter route. It will be so touching to read.

 

[HollyS]

Of course you can send your condolences now. It''s never too late to tell someone else how much this person meant to you. People lose touch; it happens. No one will be judging you for not knowing she had passed. Send a heartfelt letter to her companion; it will probably touch their heart and make them relive happy memories.

And my sincere condolences to you for your loss.

 

[Haven]

Monnie--I''m so sorry to hear about your loss. I think a handwritten letter would be a wonderful thing to send.

Big hugs.

 

[AmberGretchen]

So sorry to hear about your loss, but I''m sure that her companion will very much appreciate your thoughtful letter with positive stories about this special woman.