Divorce

[oobiecoo]

I just found out that a friend of mine is getting divorced... through Facebook, of course. They only made it 8 months. I''ve seen her go from a nice girl to a party animal and I feel really bad for her husband.

I''m sorry but 8 months isn''t even a good try... why does it seem like more and more people are ending their marriages after only a few months?

 

[Dreamgirl]

Good question. That''s too bad though.

 

[mimzy]

i don''t know, it is sad though

i had some friends that ended theirs after 2 years just recently (they are only 23/24).


i don''t know about your friend, but in their case i think it was that they just weren''t done growing up, and they grew apart. they just got married too young (that''s what he''s saying at least).


it''s so sad and disheartening

. i think that some people don''t really go into marriage realizing that it requires work and sacrifice, and aren''t ready to deal with it when it comes up. (speaking of course about couples that end their marriage quickly)

 

[allycat0303]

I think facebook is the new way to announce divorce (having had a recent experience) I guess it gives everyone the news directly, so there won''t be any awkward conversations "How''s so and so?" "We got divorced!" "OH..... (person looks around awkwardly). It seems like a pretty brutal way to tell everyone though.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I have a dear friend who recently announced that she will be seperating from her husband too. Although I'm less than surprised, they have been married for 5 years...he's 30 and she's 25. She tried really hard to be a good wife and make the best of a bad situation, sadly it didn't work out in her favor...and now they are sorting out the mess of it all...

I think marriage changes people. Everyone always says that the first year is one of the hardest because there is so much giving that is involved and sometimes you just don't know everything about that person until you're living with them and totally synced.

If I'm not mistaken, you and your DH are still in college (BA and Masters) and it's possible if your friends are around the same age, then maybe money was a driving force in their seperation. They say that it is one of the top reasons couples argue, and in this economy, it's just plain hard to make it sometimes.

Who really knows what goes on behind closed doors...and if you found out thru Facebook chances are you're not 100% privvy to their relationship warts. It could be absolutely anything...and maybe 8 months of marriage ended up being 8 months to many. I've learned in my life that you just can't judge anyone for the choices they make, because there by the grace of God go you...who knows what you're future holds ahead...saying that they didn't try isn't right, I'm sure divorce wasn't an easy options for them, and I'm sure they're both hurting.

 

[oobiecoo]

Italia... I agree that I don''t know every bit of inside information on their relationship but I did speak with my friend and she is ELATED about the divorce and said that her husband was too boring for her.
Her husband paid for her to get a breast augementation shortly before they got married. As soon as that happened, she changed instantly into a party girl who always acted sexy and hung on other men. Since they''ve been married a couple of months, she quit her events coordinating job to work at a bar where they dance on the tables. Meanwhile, her husband was working hard at his engineering job and being responsible. Hubby, my best friend, and myself feel like her new breasts have completely changed her.
My best friend and I were there for her through many ups and downs in their relationship and while I can understand things not working out for various reasons... I truly do not think she should have let her "new boobs" change her so much that it jeopardized her marriage.

I guess thats the main reason I feel judgemental... not because they were only married 8 months, but because I saw how drastically she changed after the surgery.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Maybe she did change post boob job...maybe she feels really good about herself and sexy and like she is young, and isn''t as ready for marriage as she thought she was...and that is okay....because, as hard as a divorce is, at least there are no children involved, and she realized she wasn''t 100% there before they took this commitment any further.

Maybe I''m a bit "new school" but I don''t think divorce is the worst thing in the world. And I certainly don''t think it''s shameful, or embarrassing or something we can judge. I believe in personal happiness above and beyond all else, and if she is this wild crazy party girl--then her husband is one suffering because as it stands, he''s the one hurting and she''s living the lifestyle she wants...essentially, she has the best of both worlds. I believe she did him a favor by leaving--now, he can go on and meet someone more in line with his values. Yes, they are married--and it''s sad when that ends...but now she can''t continue to hurt him, so in reality, I kind of commend her doing this and letting him go.

 

[oobiecoo]

I agree that divorce isn''t the worst thing that can happen but I do think its really unfortunate that she is putting her husband through this. While it is good that they are getting divorced now so that he can move on and find a nice girl... I still think it is terrible the way she acted before they were seperated. I don''t think it is ever ok to expose yourself, get so drunk you don''t remember how you got home, and hang on/kiss random guys while your husband is wondering where you are. She has questionable morals... I hope he gets to keep the dog.

 

[fieryred33143]

That''s unfortunate but really, probably for the best. She knows who she is now and why drag on the relationship if it wasn''t working for her. Likewise, he probably isn''t too thrilled to be with someone like the person she has become so this is really a blessing in disguise for him.

 

[oobiecoo]

Date: 11/10/2008 3:57:25 PM
Author: fieryred33143
That''s unfortunate but really, probably for the best. She knows who she is now and why drag on the relationship if it wasn''t working for her. Likewise, he probably isn''t too thrilled to be with someone like the person she has become so this is really a blessing in disguise for him.

It will be a blessing for him when it is all over... I just hope she doesn''t take his money. I wonder if she will give back her ring... do you usually in a divorce? She doesn''t deserve to keep it.

 

[neatfreak]

We are in a culture that teaches us to throw things away instead of fixing them...and unfortunately that mentality seems to extend to everything.

 

[*Danielle*]

I agree with NF. We are in a culture that doesn''t value hard work and sacrifice.

As for the boobs, I think her realizing she was still young may have hurt, but I still think it would have happened regardless. You are what you are.

 

[Haven]

Date: 11/10/2008 3:57:03 PM
Author: oobiecoo
I agree that divorce isn''t the worst thing that can happen but I do think its really unfortunate that she is putting her husband through this. While it is good that they are getting divorced now so that he can move on and find a nice girl... I still think it is terrible the way she acted before they were seperated. I don''t think it is ever ok to expose yourself, get so drunk you don''t remember how you got home, and hang on/kiss random guys while your husband is wondering where you are. She has questionable morals... I hope he gets to keep the dog.

Married or not, this is not adult behavior. Unfortunately for your friends, marriage is an adult endeavor; I imagine it must be very difficult to make a marriage work when your own life is a bit out of control.

I agree with Neat, too. What a sad state of affairs.

I''m sorry to hear about your friends.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 11/10/2008 4:02:03 PM
Author: oobiecoo

Date: 11/10/2008 3:57:25 PM
Author: fieryred33143
That''s unfortunate but really, probably for the best. She knows who she is now and why drag on the relationship if it wasn''t working for her. Likewise, he probably isn''t too thrilled to be with someone like the person she has become so this is really a blessing in disguise for him.

It will be a blessing for him when it is all over... I just hope she doesn''t take his money. I wonder if she will give back her ring... do you usually in a divorce? She doesn''t deserve to keep it.

No, she can legally keep the ring...it''s only when an engagement fails that a woman returns the ring.