Discussing a timeline

[Rose_Dust]

Not engaged yet, but as I've said before I'm a planner.

So we sat down yesterday to discuss when we could potentially get married. I have always wanted to be an autumn bride but that doesn't seem to be in the cards. Our work schedules aren't very flexible and don't really overlap as to when we have free/down time that much. So we've come to the conclusion that we're either gonna push for a very short engagement (getting engaged soon) and get married in July of 2011 or have to wait an entire year and get married next April/May/July 2012.

I've done a lot of planning in my head already but I'm still a bit concerned about pulling off the July event. How did you ladies pull off short engagements if you had a large event? Did you run into any problems along the way?

Thanks for your advice, Happy Wednesday!

 

[lucyandroger]

Some of your top choice vendors may already be booked for July 2011, but I don't really think 10 months is considered a "short" engagement. You have plenty of time to plan, especially since it seems you've already gotten started!

You may want to consider picking a less busy day of the week (Friday, Sunday) and if you're flexible, I bet you can still get your top choices as well.

ETA - You could always call some of the vendors most important to you and ask if they have dates available.

 

[Rose_Dust]

Date would be determined based on avaliability of desired vendors namely the church, reception location, and photographer but I feel kinda awkward actually contacting them so far without actually being engaged. To be honest I'm not very flexible in terms of Friday/Saturdays but I understand where you're coming from in trying to give me some alternative options. Thanks.

 

[vc10um]

Date would be determined based on avaliability of desired vendors namely the church, reception location, and photographer but I feel kinda awkward actually contacting them so far without actually being engaged. To be honest I'm not very flexible in terms of Friday/Saturdays but I understand where you're coming from in trying to give me some alternative options. Thanks.

Rose_Dust...just wanted to chime in because I was contacting vendors about availability about 4 months before the actual proposal. Granted, I thought the proposal was coming 3 months before it actually *did*, but that's another story.

Just wanted to say that many venues were very understanding about being contacted by someone who wasn't yet engaged...they realize nowadays that the engagement process is just that sometimes: a process, in which both parties are involved and the future bride is "in the loop" about where things stand. I refrained from putting my deposits down until we actually visited the venues after getting engaged, but the venues were very willing to "pencil me in" as the first contact for the particular day I wanted and offered to contact me if they got any interest in the date prior to me putting down my deposit. They never did, so I was able to confirm we loved the venues when we visited and complete the deposit while we were there. FWIW, I'm an out-of-town bride, but I'm sure they would be just as accomodating for a very on top of things in-town bride!

Best of luck!

 

[diamondbuggy]

Rose Dust, I also just wanted to say that I started planning before I was engaged. I even hired my wedding planner early because I wanted them to help me find a venue. Quite honestly, no one seemed to care that I wasn't actually engaged yet and some places didn't even ask or notice. I think people realise that these days a lot of women have an idea of when they will be engaged. Especially in your situation where it will be a short engagement I think it's perfectly acceptable to start booking your venue, photographer and so on.

Good Luck!

 

[Rose_Dust]

That's helpful to know that other brides have reached out before actually being engaged. You have me the courage to send an email to the photographer to see her avaliability on a few dates. Thanks for your suggestions.

 

[lulu66]

hey, rose dust! my advice: go for july 2011! decide on "must-have-cannot-get-married-unless" vendors, contact them as soon as possible (especially if they are sought after). but honestly, if you can't get every vendor, don't sweat it too much come up with possible alternatives, then contact them. from my experience (an 11 month engagement), really i could have planned this thing in 6 months without sweating a thing.

what kind of wedding are you envisioning? what area of the country are you (i think that sometimes plays a big role)? what is your free time/are you going to hire a wedding planner? answering these questions may help you decided if 11 months is enough time for you.

p.s. for me, personally (a 30 year old woman who has been dating her fiance for 3+ years and have lived together for 2), an almost 2 year engagement would have killed me.

 

[meresal]

I got married on July 25, 2009.

I was able to get my first choice of church and reception venue the second week of September 2008. (So, technically this week...) I picked my photog, florist, and cake baker around Oct/Nov 2008 I believe.

You don't even need to disclose if you are married or not to be honest. Just ask all of the venues you are interested in, what dates they have left available in July of 2011, and that will narrow down your choices.

 

[Rose_Dust]

Much to my sadness, the photographer I contacted today isn't avaliable for any of the dates I had in mind (2011 or 2012). So I guess my SO and I will need to regroup and I need to keep looking for a different photographer.

I'm definitely going to hire a wedding planner, my life is too busy to do this on my own.

 

[meresal]

Rose_dust:
I worry for you, that going off of the dates "you and your BF like" is not the best possible way at this point. You are less than a year out... and you probably just need to get lists of available days from all of the vendors and venues you are interested in, and then pick a date that they all have in common.

That is what we had to do. We asked for a list of the available Saturday's in June and July 2009. Then we sat down with all the lists, figured out which vendor/venues were most important, and saw that we had 1 option, so that is when we got married.

 

[Rose_Dust]

OK that is good advice Meresal, I'll do that going forward. Although it's not so much dates we like, they are the only dates that work. We have a very narrow selection due to our jobs unless we're talking going into 2012 .

 

[stepcutgirl]

I got engaged in June, I'm getting married on New Years Eve. Honestly, I had everything done in a month. The venue was the hardest part to get, but within a week we found it.

 

[meresal]

I got that from your post. I'm sorry that you don't have lots of time.

What about Friday's? or possibly a Sunday?

July 4th is on a Monday next year, so no one will have to go back to work that next day... July 3rd???

 

[Dreamer_D]

Rose_dust:
I worry for you, that going off of the dates "you and your BF like" is not the best possible way at this point. You are less than a year out... and you probably just need to get lists of available days from all of the vendors and venues you are interested in, and then pick a date that they all have in common.

That is what we had to do. We asked for a list of the available Saturday's in June and July 2009. Then we sat down with all the lists, figured out which vendor/venues were most important, and saw that we had 1 option, so that is when we got married.

This is how we approached things to.


We got engaged in April 2006 and I had wanted to get married in September 2007, but it turned out that our venue, the most important thing in my mind, had ONE day available in all of 2007 -- a Sunday of the May long weekend. So that was when we got married!

If you are flexibile then wedding planning is much easier.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

I got that from your post. I'm sorry that you don't have lots of time.

What about Friday's? or possibly a Sunday?

July 4th is on a Monday next year, so no one will have to go back to work that next day... July 3rd???

Excellent idea! I happen to be kinda partial to that date (I was married 7/3/10)!

 

[lucyandroger]

Rose_dust:
I worry for you, that going off of the dates "you and your BF like" is not the best possible way at this point. You are less than a year out... and you probably just need to get lists of available days from all of the vendors and venues you are interested in, and then pick a date that they all have in common.

That is what we had to do. We asked for a list of the available Saturday's in June and July 2009. Then we sat down with all the lists, figured out which vendor/venues were most important, and saw that we had 1 option, so that is when we got married.

This is how we approached things to.


We got engaged in April 2006 and I had wanted to get married in September 2007, but it turned out that our venue, the most important thing in my mind, had ONE day available in all of 2007 -- a Sunday of the May long weekend. So that was when we got married!

If you are flexibile then wedding planning is much easier.

Us, too! We had the choice of one Saturday in April, one Sunday in May, or one Sunday in June because our venue is very popular and only does weddings between April and September. We took the Sunday in May. The venue was important to me so I gave up on having the Saturday wedding in early June.

Wedding planning is going to involve a lot of compromise. It's very rare that everything works out exactly as you have dreamed (or that you and your FI/mom/random relative all dream of the same thing).

 

[meresal]

Rose-dust- Any update on the planning? Were you able to come up with a solution?